Doing Mom-Life Well

Molly began her Seed Planting Mom ministry because she saw a need for moms to feel equipped and encouraged on their journey through motherhood, for them to be reminded that God hand-picked them to be their child’s mom. It’s never too young to start “planting” biblical truths and core values into your child’s life. What do you want them to know and believe when they leave your home at 18? Show them what these values are, and how to implement them in their lives.There are some moms who feel paralyzed—they don’t know what to do, so they don’t do anything. Others are helicopters—they are controlling, and are so immersed in their child’s lives that they’re not equipping them. The middle ground is where the Lord helps you engage with and come alongside your kids, rather than allowing them to figure it out on their own or control them. There are some traditional, sometimes stereotypical, differences between boys and girls, but the important thing is to learn your OWN kid’s wiring. Girls prefer interaction—the more words the better. They want relationship, and their relationships often determine how they feel about themselves. Boys want ACTION—words mean less to them. Boys want competition, and use how they perform in competition with others to determine how they measure up. Girls tend to respond better to softer interactions, while boys respond well to direct communication. Be a student of your child. There’s no-one-size-fits-all, correct way of parenting. Learn how to connect with each of your children in ways that they feel seen and known. When they feel seen and known, they find a safe place. Lord, help us to know what is best for each child, and show us how to meet those needs. Important things for moms to say to their daughters:Your size and how you look does not determine your value or worth. Your value is in who the Lord says you are. Don’t compare your story to someone else’s. Someone else’s success does not mean you’re a failure. You can delight in others and celebrate them! You are strong, and capable. It is ok to be independent and driven. Important things for moms to say to their sons: Acknowledge your emotions and learn how to express them. Recognize your feelings and learn to work through them.Use your words. Learn how to be a communicator, and you’ll find success in your job, your marriage, and meaningful friendships. Man up. Don’t be passive. God calls men to rise up to be strong servants, who lead their families and boldly show the love of the Lord. Vision-cast “The F Words” to your children:Faith—Jesus is all that matters. Nothing they ever do will be bigger than what was done on the cross. We want them to make wise choices and know the blessing of being obedient to the Lord, but if and when they mess up, the cross is bigger. Fierce—Be passionate and have purpose in what they do.Fearless—Don’t be afraid of failure. Boldly walk in obedience to the Lord. Fun—Life is meant to be a joy. Community is essential to parenting well. Build a community of people around your family who know your children well, who can speak into your kids, who can remind you of who you are when you are down, and who can remind you of who your children are on the hard parenting days. In the book Sticky Faith, Kara Powell says its important to have a “sticky web” for your kids, made up of five other adults—not parents—to walk by them on their faith journeyHelp your kids recognize they need trusted adults outside of their parents, identify those mentors, and nurture those relationships. Other adults mentoring your children should not be seen as competition, or a threat to your relationship with them. Reframe your thinking to recognize that this is God’s provision, to send someone to come alongside you and reinforce the very things you’re saying to your kids. Be willing to be vulnerable, to make small group leaders/coaches aware of something your child is struggling with, to ask for help and partnership in walking alongside your child through their struggles. It is a struggle for working moms to find a work-home balance. Do you get so empty that you can no longer operate and parent out of a place of abundance? Working moms have to learn to recognize limitations. Learn to say no—you can do a lot of things, you can WANT to do a lot of things, but there are only a certain number of things you can do WELL at one time.
Saying “no” is not unkind, it’s not letting someone down—it’s often a really healthy response.
Take care of yourself spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Your children are watching you. Are you modeling that you are supposed to run on empty, rather than resting and recharging? Are your kids going to say that they got your leftovers, or that you were plugged with them AND did other things?
Every season of being a mom requires a lot of energy, time, and investment. Every mom needs her “people.” This requires you to be vulnerable, to share where you’re struggling and celebrate where you’re succeeding.
If you don’t recharge spiritually, emotionally, and relationally, burnout is just a few steps away. Find moms who are a few steps ahead of you. Learn from them, be encouraged by their stories, and see how God is always working. Then turn around a reach for those who are a few steps behind you. Being a Seed Planting Mom comes down to this: there are seeds of truth that you want to plant in your kids’ lives. And you’re not just called to plant them—you don’t want your kids to just know these truths, you want them to believe them. You have to nurture a garden. You have to spend time pulling weeds. You have to plant seeds year after year. It’s important to remember the harvest is coming; the harvest isn’t ours, it’s the Lord’s. Isaiah 26:3, ESV—You will keep in perfect peace he whose mind has stayed on You, because he trusts in You.
Ask the lord for peace, because being a mom is hard! Trust that the Lord is working. Galatians 6:9, NIV—Let us not become weary in doing what is right, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Day after day, do what is right.