Episode 9 - Off The Trail

   As a young boy everything seemed as it should for a pre-teen. Jared’s dad and mom were in a church that they helped start and everyone knew everybody. A new job for his dad took them out of state where they they again became involved in multiple churches. For Jared however, his questions to church leaders about faith went unanswered or at best were not satisfying. Late in high school the beginning of a long battle of depression started. He found staying in his bedroom and sleeping as a means of a refuge. In college his gifted and talented abilities were of little of use as his depression worsened. He went through the motions of faith by participating in a few Christian organizations.

   During one getaway weekend the leader of the group encouraged the college students to go out into the woods and spend an hour alone with God. Jared made sure he went well “off the trail” because he wanted no one around as he intended to face down God with an ultimatum. In that hour alone he told God to “show up now or I’m walking.”

   Over the course of the next few years his depression grew worse as he was unable to complete college. He began to see himself as an atheist, his rationale...if there were a God of the Bible he would have never let this happen to me. God never showed up. Over time and two suicide attempts later, Jared more thoroughly planned to end his pain, this time he would get it right. Before going through with it he decided to try one last therapy, ECT. Electroconvulsive Therapy. After multiple treatments he woke one morning and something was different. For the first time in years the possibility of hope had returned.

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