Resilient Faith artwork

Practicing self love and compassion: We can love our neighbor as ourself, but how can we have true self-love?

Resilient Faith

English - March 22, 2023 14:00 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MB
Christianity Religion & Spirituality Spirituality faith meditation spirituality christianity hope resilience reliant power love god Homepage Download Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed


In Mark 12:28-31, Jesus is approached by a teacher of the law who asks Jesus which of all the commandments is the most important. Jesus answers him with this.

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”

 In this devotional we will focus on verse 31, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’. Much has been preached and written about loving one’s neighbor, but less on loving oneself.  It’s a very clear directive from scripture that we are to love ourselves and that love of neighbor is directly connected to love of self. In the Greek translation, the love of neighbor and the love of self are connected with a word which is like an equal sign. Love of neighbor equals love of self. 

We hear, “Take care” as people say good-bye to one another. Or a friend says to you when you are being hard on yourself, “Cut yourself some slack!” or “Give yourself a break!”, “Be easy on yourself” or “Don’t be so hard on yourself”. 

 But what is true love of self? Is it merely self-care as we have come to know it from modern advertising? Is it indulging ourselves in the newest, shiniest thing, the novel experience, the new situation or person that promises to make us happy? We often look for love in the externals which is ultimately unfulfilling and affects the quality of our love of self and, therefore, our love of others. 

 In the past, psychology has offered us such terms as self-esteem and self-confidence to describe love of self. 

We deserve compassion just because we are human. We can learn self-compassion. It’s a practice. So when we notice a mistake, a flaw or imperfection in ourselves, we offer ourselves kindness, not judgement. We are warm and understanding towards ourselves as we encounter our inevitable mistakes and failures. Next, we accept our human-ness and, therefore, the truth of our imperfection. We are just like other human beings. This reminder helps us feel less alone in our pain and suffering. And finally, being mindful of our negative thoughts and self-talk in a non-judgmental way is important so as not to be swept away by or over-identified with them. This practice of mindful self-compassion is beneficial by making us more resilient, less ruminative and better able to acknowledge our mistakes. It’s also an effective motivator, much more so than being harsh and judgmental of ourselves.

 As we practice the Daily Examen this week, we will focus on self-compassion.

Let’s begin: 

·       Place yourself in God’s presence. Give thanks for God’s great love for you. Take a moment to focus on the deep and limitless compassion that God has for you.

·       Pray for the grace to understand how God is acting in your life. Grace to recognize where you feel God’s compassion towards you. 

·       Review your day — recall specific moments and your feelings at the time. As you reflect, recall when you were being hard on yourself, critical and judgmental. 

·       Reflect on what you did, said, or thought in those instances.  Were you drawing closer to God, or further away? 

·       Look toward tomorrow — think of how you might collaborate more effectively with Spirit. 

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