The Earthquake of Sexual Betrayal

Infidelity can feel as crushing and disorienting as an earthquake. Sexual Betrayal is trauma. To help us navigate the aftershocks of discovery and pain; we’ve invited Dr. Barbara Steffens to the podcast. The Earthquake of Sexual Betrayal.

As the founder of the APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, Dr. Steffens points out this is more than relationship counseling. She walks us through sexual betrayal with both the expertise of a trained clinician and the heart of a woman who has been betrayed. The earthquake of infidelity is unexpected. 

In the midst of your disorientation; we hope you’ll take this unique and deep offering as a first step to understanding your pain in a new way.  And then, use it as a launching point to move you in your next steps to “Becoming Whole.”

If you want to read more on this topic, you can at Why You’re Still Angry at Your Recovering Spouse.

Highlights:

If we don’t understand it as trauma, what had been happening is that the focus goes onto the betrayed partner that says, “What was wrong with you that you would choose someone who would do this to you?”If Christians begin to practice thinking and talking about sex as a form of self-giving love, that’s what sex is designed to be.

Once we understand that this is trauma it provides hope because we know how to heal. This is my body given for you - given is the operative word

The aftershocks are usually finding out more information and the partner will ask questions. What does it lookIf Sex is an act of self-giving love, then tonight we didn’t reach climax but I’m going to love you where you are tonight. I’m going to love you in this space.

Homework:

Here are some professional options to explore: 

“Therapeutic Disclosure “ – a process facilitated by a trained professional for your spouse (if willing) to offer a planned, intentional way to disclose the truth.Couples Crisis InterventionGroup Therapy

Resources:

“Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal” by Dr Barbara Steffens, Ph.D., LPCC

https://www.drbarbarasteffens.com

Other resources we recommended for Marriage Recovery.

Transcription:

Full Transcription Available here

Original music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.

Support Becoming Whole

Want us to talk about a specific topic? Change up the format, or just tell us the podcast rocks! We want your feedback on Becoming Whole. You can leave your feedback here

If you are in the Baltimore Area, Regeneration is happy to invite you to our 2024 Dessert Fundraiser, Spark: One Small Thing Leads to So Much More. This annual gathering is a highlight for so many as we gather for tasty desserts, heartfelt worship, vulnerable and powerful stories, and an opportunity to partner with what Jesus is doing through Regeneration. Click Here for more info or to register.