Rated H

Episode Fifty Nine - The Birds

August 30, 2022 14:18 - 2 hours - 106 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on weaponising cats, the need for more horror and what it takes to truly be a 'top fan'. Oh and on this episode? Smokey makes a truly remarkable declaration.

Just the feature presentations - Volume Four

August 05, 2022 13:57 - 3 hours - 174 MB

Yes! We hear you shout. It's time for another soul crushing sell-out from the Rated H lads!! Woo-hoo! The feature presentations from episodes 12, 14 & 15. The New York Ripper, The Craft and Sinister. Revisit such classic moments as Ben being really uncomfortable, Smokey being really pervy and both of them giggling, a lot. Not much changes really, does it?

Episode Fifty Eight - Snowtown

June 27, 2022 14:37 - 1 hour - 93.1 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on mosquitos, dogs, cats and moths. Oh and on this episode? Ben is cursed by a pigeon and Smokey is cursed by a chair.

Episode Fifty Seven - The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

May 06, 2022 15:41 - 2 hours - 98 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on horror porn, torture porn, what sounds like sex and what doesn't and head cheese. Oh and on this episode? Something occurs, that hasn't happened in a loooonng time.

Episode Fifty Six - The Blood on Satan's Claw

March 12, 2022 16:59 - 2 hours - 123 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey...but this time, they're dragging TWO people along! It's their glorious co-hosts from The House of Hammer podcast, Adam Roche and Cev Moore. Once all the raw magnetism has died down, you can hear the lads express their opinions on windows, cows and unnecessary jobs. Oh and on this episode? Ben has his head in his hands...again.

Episode Fifty Five - Night of the Creeps

February 05, 2022 19:17 - 2 hours - 102 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on football (sorry), overcoming stereotypes and further uses of a lawnmower. Oh and on this episode? Ben and Smokey realise, they really need to watch more horror.

Episode Fifty Four - House on Haunted Hill (1959)

December 11, 2021 18:39 - 1 hour - 84.9 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on going back on your word, giving things a bye and discovering that spirits can have terrible memory's. Oh and on this episode? Ben finishes the episode rather uncomfortably and for once...it's not Smokey's fault!

Episode Fifty Three - Halloween III: Season of the Witch

October 31, 2021 20:00 - 2 hours - 92.3 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey...but this time, they're dragging someone else along! It's Scott, from the wonderful Stinking Pause, Rainbow Valley, Talking Pictures and Reel Britannia podcasts! Hear their opinions on the value of a good hiding corner, inverted triangles and uncomfortable sex scenes. Oh and on this episode? Ben's head seems to live in his hands.

Episode Fifty Two - Host (2020)

October 13, 2021 21:08 - 2 hours - 100 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on forgetting how to speak, forgetting how to use a phone and forgetting...everything. Oh and this episode? The lads anoint the first ever King of Rated H!

Episode Fifty One - Troll Hunter

September 22, 2021 18:11 - 2 hours - 89.5 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on revisiting an old friend, why old is just really not good and that when you're very old, you grown an extra head...or two. Oh and on this episode? Smokey makes a charitable faux pas.

Episode Fifty! - The Faculty

August 08, 2021 20:36 - 2 hours - 95.1 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on saints, creepy dolls (again) and blowing their own trumpets. Oh and this episode? Ben decides to break the world record for the most amount of asides ever. On a podcast. Ever.

Just the feature presentations - Volume Three

July 08, 2021 15:49 - 3 hours - 151 MB

Well, it's that time of year again, don't pretend you haven't all been waiting for it. Yep, it's a clip show! The feature presentation reviews from episodes 7, 10 and 11. A Nightmare on Elm Street, Body Bags and Tusk. Has much changed since those halcyon days? Have we grown and matured since then? Nope. We still talk bollocks and swear a lot.

Episode Forty Nine - The Driller Killer

June 12, 2021 18:56 - 2 hours - 90.1 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on uncomfortable viewing, disturbing pizzas and scary weapons. Oh and on this episode? Ben strikes gold, with an idea for a new podcast.

House of Hammer - Preview

May 15, 2021 18:02 - 6 minutes - 4.69 MB

Ben brings you a sneak peek of the new venture from your Rated H hosts and some distinguished chums. Twitter - @househammerpod Email - [email protected]

Episode Forty Eight - Event Horizon

April 26, 2021 17:30 - 2 hours - 92.5 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey...but this time, they're dragging someone else along! It's Tom, returning guest and host of the fabulous Anywhere But Here and Banned Biographies podcasts. Hear their opinions on punks, space and health and safety nightmares. Oh and this episode? Does everyone get interrupted by a cat?!

Episode Forty Seven - Rosemary's Baby

April 01, 2021 20:09 - 2 hours - 116 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on bumps in the night, Scarborough, the least sexy sex and how to be oh so wrong. Oh and on this episode? Ben's mind gets lost. If found, please return to its rightful owner.

Bonus - Crisp Man 2 - Electric Boogaloo

March 03, 2021 19:43 - 8 minutes - 6.25 MB

It wouldn't be fair to only give you half the story. So here is the mouth watering conclusion to the tale, of how one man went from humble beginnings, to crisp superstardom. Broadcast 01/03/2021 on Mid-Morning on BBC Radio Tees with Gary Philipson.

Episode Forty Six - Incident in a Ghostland

March 02, 2021 19:23 - 1 hour - 77.2 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on crisps, dolls, crisps, babysitters and corn based snacks. Oh and on this episode? Ben takes time away from being an internet sensation to become slightly uncomfortable.

Bonus - Crisp Man

February 08, 2021 20:23 - 7 minutes - 5.59 MB

He's only gone and done it again, Ben has got himself on the radio. This time, even more people can hear his descent into complete madness. Broadcast 08/02/2021 on Mid-Morning on BBC Radio Tees with Gary Philipson.

Episode Forty Five - An American Werewolf in London

January 29, 2021 21:04 - 2 hours - 96.4 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on oral trauma, aural trauma and bovine trauma. Oh and on this episode? Something really should've been edited out...but wasn't.

Episode Forty Four - Krampus

January 02, 2021 18:58 - 2 hours - 99.2 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on wife beaters, how to have a Christmas spirit and getting a little soppy. Oh and on this episode? Ben takes us down memory lane, again...and its awesome!

Episode Forty Three - Mr Brooks

December 07, 2020 19:37 - 1 hour - 85.9 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on literary classics, not so classic literature and how not to fill a film with unnecessary plot lines. Oh and on this episode? Ben tries to convince us all, he's a podcaster and not a serial killer.

Halloween Special!

November 01, 2020 15:45 - 1 hour - 55.8 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Not what was planned, but we felt you deserved something special. For one time only, we bring back an old favourite.

Episode Forty Two - Frontiere(s)

October 07, 2020 18:44 - 1 hour - 86.5 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on scuttling, haircuts and the ability to hold a camera steady. Oh and on this episode? The boys realise just how handy their GCSE French really is.

Episode Forty One - Final Destination

September 05, 2020 16:50 - 2 hours - 110 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on seaweed, holes, VVitches and the correct term for a spinny clothes dryer thing. Oh and on this episode? Smokey gets angry...or SMangry...if you will.

Episode Forty - Night of the Living Dead (1968)

August 04, 2020 17:10 - 2 hours - 95.9 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear the opinions on activities for teenage girls, what to do when your friend dies and why we all need to be better prepared. Oh and on this episode? The boys discover what sexism and misogyny really is.

Episode Thirty Nine - The Borderlands

July 12, 2020 15:40 - 2 hours - 111 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on oddness, the merits of headphones and aflame animals. Oh and this episode? Smokey wants a little chat with a certain Mr J Christ...or a legend of British light entertainment.

Episode Thirty Eight - Ginger Snaps

June 17, 2020 16:17 - 2 hours - 107 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on soul suckers, bedlam at bath time and opening a beer while trying to finish a sentence. Oh and this episode? The lads get rather uncomfortable.

Rated H - Bonus

June 06, 2020 14:03 - 59 seconds - 850 KB

Not content with being a mere podcasting legend, Ben also has to grab an extra 15 seconds of fame on national radio. Broadcast 05/06/2020 on The Ken Bruce Show on BBC Radio 2.

Episode Thirty Seven - Stage Fright (2014)

June 03, 2020 16:59 - 2 hours - 93.3 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on the difference between a homage and a rip-off, the correct usage of power tools and why absolutely anyone can be classed as a douche. Oh and on this episode? Ben gets toasty and gets offered a toastie.

Episode Thirty Six - WolfCop

May 20, 2020 12:55 - 1 hour - 68.4 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey...but this time, they're dragging someone else along. Its Gabriela, from the awesome You Won't Forget Me, Muscles From Brussels, By Projection Light and Here Lies Amicus podcasts. Hear their opinions on being a true wordsmith, dodgy Skype connections and lycanthropic appendages. Oh and on this episode? Smokey wants an answer to a question, no one has ever asked before.

Episode Thirty Five - Phantom of the Opera (1943)

May 07, 2020 15:29 - 1 hour - 92 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey...but this time, they're dragging not one but TWO people along. It's Ali and Cev from the awesome Film Guff podcast! Hear their opinions on correct beer temperatures, their shared feelings on opera and why the fast forward button is incredibly important. Oh and on this episode, Ben dispenses with a particular item of clothing.

Episode Thirty Four - Eyes of Laura Mars

April 19, 2020 20:17 - 2 hours - 118 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on, having different opinions, uncomfortable post coital scenes, people being wrong and sibling rivalry. Oh and this episode? The lads drink beer and record for a lot longer than normal.

Episode Thirty Three - The Fly (1958)

March 28, 2020 13:55 - 1 hour - 90.9 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on, staying inside, being quiet, pointless scenes and people with no sense of humour. Oh and on this episode? Smokey says he's not going to rant about something. Then rants about it.

Just the feature presentations - Volume Two

March 06, 2020 16:44 - 2 hours - 123 MB

Once again, this wasn't asked for, but it's being forced upon you. The feature presentation reviews from episodes 4-6. Evilspeak, 30 Days of Night and The Abominable Dr Phibes. Had we grown into our craft? A little. Was Ben still recording from an echoey office? Yep. Was Smokey becoming more of a pervert? Definitely.

Episode Thirty Two - The Dead Zone

February 21, 2020 20:50 - 1 hour - 86.8 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on breaking ice, zones that may be dead and grudges that may just not be worth it. Oh and on this episode? Ben decides he's gone too far. Finally.

Episode Thirty One - 28 Days Later...

February 01, 2020 20:15 - 1 hour - 87.5 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on getting the rage, getting the anger, getting the Pepsi and getting the horn. Oh and on this episode? Smokey makes a point. Ben disagrees. Again.

Episode Thirty - Poltergeist (1982)

December 21, 2019 15:53 - 2 hours - 123 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on surprising acting, bad acting, good acting and things that just don't make any sense. Oh and on this episode? Ben and Smokey get a bit ranty...ok...Smokey does.

Episode Twenty Nine - The Blair Witch Project

December 03, 2019 16:34 - 2 hours - 118 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on jokers, smokers and midnight...runs through the woods. Oh and this episode? A cheeky bit of quiz show thievery occurs.

Episode Twenty Eight - The Silence of the Lambs

November 03, 2019 15:30 - 2 hours - 122 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on birds, lambs, dogs and moths. Oh and this episode? The most disgusting outtakes ever.

Episode Twenty Seven - Bride of Frankenstein

September 23, 2019 17:46 - 1 hour - 107 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on insertion, doing it face to face, new features and resurrections. Oh and on this episode? Is that an angel I hear singing? Nope. It's just Ben.

Muscles from Brussels Podcast - Episode One Trailer

September 18, 2019 17:25 - 1 minute - 1.44 MB

Trailer for the forthcoming podcast, The Muscles from Brussels. Ben and Smokey were honoured to be guests on the very first episode. A lot of fun was had, many dodgy accents flowed and every high kicking second was covered. Many thanks to our lovely and wonderful friend Gabriela, for the invite.

Episode Twenty Six - The Stuff

August 23, 2019 17:06 - 1 hour - 101 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on stuff, stuff and more stuff. Oh and on this episode? Don't ask us what was said, we will never tell you.

Episode Twenty Five - Shadow of the Vampire

July 20, 2019 15:33 - 1 hour - 109 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on selling out, how to improve classic children's tv shows, perfect date night films and how to make a podcast when both hosts are broken. Oh and this episode? A certain accent, may make a reappearance.

Episode Twenty Four - Amityville: The Evil Escapes

June 11, 2019 19:19 - 2 hours - 116 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey. Hear their opinions on home furnishings, demonic felines, childhood trauma and big jaws. Oh and on this episode? Ben forgets how to divide 10 by 2. Apparently.

Episode Twenty Three - The Thing (1982)

May 02, 2019 19:53 - 1 hour - 106 MB

Ben and Smokey take you on a truly horrific journey...but this time, they're dragging someone else along. It's Adam Roche, from the awesome Attaboy Clarence, Secret History of Hollywood and Talking Pictures TV podcasts! Hear their opinions on sausages, getting over excited and surprise canine guests. Oh and on this episode? Most. Outtakes. Ever.

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