Episode 12 - Parenting Non-Binary Kids: An Interview with Anna Held

Happy Pride Month!

Parenting is never easy, and there’s no real template for those raising kids in the LGBTQ+ community. Sometimes, the best resource is hearing directly from others walking the same path.

For this episode, we’re delighted to share an interview with the amazing Anna Held, a personal friend and overall rockstar. When her teenager, Sam, came out as non-binary over a year ago, she hit the books, talked to others, and relied on some of her knowledge from previous parenting best support them. She has a lot of wisdom: from how she and her husband created a safe space for gender expression in their home, to the questions she asks herself (and Sam) about when and how to best advocate for them. We’re also thrilled to soon feature a follow-up episode where Sam will share their perspective, as well.

In the interview, we discuss:

- Who is in Anna's family and why it was important to her and her husband to cultivate an open conversation about gender and sexuality (see recommendations below)
- How she responded when Sam first came out to the family over corn on the cob :)
- The question of balance; when and how to step in on when others misgender Sam
- Generational differences in how much the concept of binary is engrained in our culture and how it is changing
- Challenges communicating with individuals or institutions about changing pronouns
- The benefits of having non-binary adults who can share their story with Sam
- How some struggle when they “can’t understand” or “don’t recognize” gender identity outside the binary

Some of the great resources Anna mentioned in the interview, and a few she shared afterward, include:
- Jeffrey Marsh on Instagram — "Gender delightful” and non-binary rights advocate, author of How to Be You
- Sex Is a Funny Word - Non-gendered book that covers body parts, gender identity, and sexuality
- The ABC’s of LGBTQ - Described as “essential reading for questioning teens, teachers, or parents looking for advice, or anyone who wants to learn the language of respect.”
- Two books on trauma-informed parenting from Dr. Bruce Perry - The Boy Who Was Raised a Dog and What Happened to You? (with Oprah)

Thank you so much to Anna for sharing her perspective. We’d love to hear from other parents who can relate to Anna’s experience. Reach out and let us know your thoughts.

We’d also love to share an organization that was not discussed in the interview, but is doing the good work of reaching out to LGBTQ+ youth: The Trevor Project. The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25. If this is a cause that is dear to your heart, we encourage you to donate at www.thetrevorproject.org.

OTHER EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:
- Katie got into grad school (woo-hoo!) and is ready to fork over her money and soul
- Lee Ann’s hair is not behaving and she apparently she wears her pants inside out
- NEW SEGMENT! HIGHS + LOWS (or ups and downs) of parenthood — share with us either a high or a low this month for you in the never-ending crazy that is raising humans. Katie kicks it off with a tale of her four-year-old turned fourteen-year-old. Send us a voice recording at [email protected], or leave us a voice message telling us your story by leaving us a voicemail at 503.893.5608. We may feature you in our next episode.
- SOLICITED ADVICE We share our thoughts on the awkward question of travel now that restrictions have eased up. Are you comfortable traveling? Do you have hesitations? We chip in our thoughts and would love to hear yours. Phone lines are always open.

Happy Pride Month!

Parenting is never easy, and there’s no real template for those raising kids in the LGBTQ+ community. Sometimes, the best resource is hearing directly from others walking the same path.

For this episode, we’re delighted to share an interview with the amazing Anna Held, a personal friend and overall rockstar. When her teenager, Sam, came out as non-binary over a year ago, she hit the books, talked to others, and relied on some of her knowledge from previous parenting courses to best support them. She has a lot of wisdom: from how she and her husband created a safe space for gender expression in their home, to the questions she asks herself (and Sam) about when and how to best advocate for them. We’re also thrilled to soon feature a follow-up episode where Sam will share their perspective, as well.

In the interview, we discuss:

Who is in her family and why it was important to her and her husband to cultivate an open conversation about gender and sexuality (see recommendations below)

How she responded when Sam first came out to the family — over corn on the cob!

The question of balance; when and how to step in on when others misgender Sam

Generational differences regarding a binary understanding of gender

Challenges communicating with individuals or institutions about changing pronouns

The benefits of having non-binary adults who can share their story with Sam

How some people struggle when they “can’t understand” or “don’t recognize” gender identity outside the binary

Some of the great resources Anna mentioned in the interview, and a few she shared afterward, include:
- Jeffrey Marsh on Instagram — "Gender delightful” and non-binary rights advocate, author of How to Be You
- Sex Is a Funny Word - Non-gendered book that covers body parts, gender identity, and sexuality
- The ABC’s of LGBTQ - Described as “essential reading for questioning teens, teachers, or parents looking for advice, or anyone who wants to learn the language of respect.”
- Two books on trauma-informed parenting from Dr. Bruce Perry - The Boy Who Was Raised a Dog and What Happened to You? (with Oprah)

Thank you so much to Anna for sharing her perspective. We’d love to hear from other parents who can relate to Anna’s experience. Reach out and let us know your thoughts.

We’d also love to share an organization that was not discussed in the interview, but is doing the good work of reaching out to LGBTQ+ youth: The Trevor Project. The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25. If this is a cause that is dear to your heart, we encourage you to donate here.

OTHER EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:
- Katie got into grad school (woo-hoo!) and is ready to fork over her money and soul
- Lee Ann’s hair is not behaving and she apparently she wears her pants inside out
- NEW SEGMENT! HIGHS + LOWS (or ups and downs) of parenthood — share with us either a high or a low this month for you in the never-ending crazy that is raising humans. Katie kicks it off with a tale of her four-year-old turned fourteen-year-old. Send us an email at [email protected], or leave us a voice message telling us your story in one minute or less by calling 503.893.5608 and we may feature you in our next episode.
- SOLICITED ADVICE We share our thoughts on the awkward question of travel now that restrictions have eased up. Are you comfortable traveling? Do you have hesitations? We chip in our thoughts and would love to hear yours. Phone lines are always open.