Fighting Fair: Conflict and Growth - Song of Solomon 5:2-6:13

Opening Discussion Questions

Since tonight we are going to talk about conflict let’s start thinking about this topic with what is the dumbest thing you’ve ever fought over? Share a time when an unmet expectation made you a lot angrier than it should have. How does self-centeredness play into the things you fight about? Share examples and talk about how it could have been handled in a more others-focused way. How aware of your own self-centeredness do you think you are? How could you get a more objective view of it? What’s the difference between reacting and acting? Give some examples of times when this was handled well.

Fighting Fair - Conflict and Growth Overview of Song of Solomon 5:2-6:13

Conflict: The Fight! (5:2-3)

Don’t Retaliate (5:4-5)

Seek Reconciliation (5:6-6:3)

Recall What You Respect (6:4-13)

For Singles

• How much of a problem would your friends and family say anger is for you? How do you see anger affecting your relationships?

• Which of your relationships has the most conflict?

• Describe someone who is really good at reconciling differences. What can you do to be better at it?

For Married Couples

• Kids, money, schedule, work, household chores, or maybe holidays with in-laws? Which issue most easily turns into a fight for you?

• List some good things about your spouse. How difficult is it for you to focus on these things during a fight?

• What’s your impulse in a fight — to talk or walk? How does this fit in to your natural personality? What can you do to make this work better in your marriage?

End with a challenge to take action. Lead your group to help each person identify their next steps.

• What will you do this week to restore a relationship damaged by fighting?

• What can you do to build your fighting skills this week? What would improve your relationships in this area?

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