"I have a Queery about...'Preference'" ft. Marquis Johnson

"It's not racist. It's just my preference." "I just prefer someone who is more masculine over feminine." "No fats, no fems, no Asians...just my preference." "Please don’t think this is racist but..." "You're cute for an Asian guy."

On this week's episode, my guest, actor and FIERCE cycling instructor, Marquis Johnson (he/him), and I delve into the problematic term "preference." It is a well known fact that digital Queer dating apps, like Grindr and Scruff, have a major racism problem. Even while apps like Grindr have launched campaigns to combat this type of behavior, it still persists. Studies have shown, this type of problem and behavior has largely stemmed from "whiteness," or proximity to it, being the ideal characteristic men search for--usually expressed by a white majority--on these apps. In addition to this type of racism, there is the problem of fetishizing and objectifying BIPOC men on these apps through stereotyped lenses (assuming black men are dominant and aggressive in the bedroom, Asian men are submissive, etc.) and seeing them as nothing more than a fantasy needing to be fulfilled. In talking, Marquis and I attempt to figure out the root of these "preferences," why they are often glossed over as just a sexual and attraction preference as opposed to overt racism and homophobia, and what is needed for the community to do--particularly cisgender white gay men--in order to move forward and truly make our community an inclusive place for all.

We also discuss things such as:

The vocalization of racist and homophobic preferences (saying you aren't into certain races or are only into masculine men) and finding the root of themThe impact of porn on gay men and how it perpetuates these stereotypes (BBC, Sub-Asian, etc.)The dynamics and conversations that come from being in an interracial relationshipRace play and "F*ggot play" in the bedroomCringeworthy racist and homophobic words/phrases that have been said during sex

Buckle up, because it's about to get very real.

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Organization of the Week: Brave Space Alliance
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Resources for Further Learning:

"'Sexual racism' is a major problem on queer dating apps like Grindr, and it may be causing depression in black men""Asian-American man plans lawsuit to stop 'sexual racism' on Grindr""So Many Gay Dudes Are Openly Racist On Dating Apps"Douchebags of Grindr

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón