When Self-Care Goes Too Far with Dr. Joel Minden

Self-care is a bit of a buzzword these days. At its best, it encourages people to have balance in their lives and to tend to their health needs. However, the self-care movement seems to have been picked up as a way to market things to people, placing greater importance on indulging themselves with products or experiences. And for some, the idea that prioritizing self-care will improve mental health can backfire, because they believe their persistent emotional distress is due to an inability to commit to activities or products rather than other factors (e.g. difficulty accessing mental health treatment).

We invited Dr. Joel Minden on the show because we think that the approach in his book, Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss, is an excellent way to think about self-care. Joel acknowledges the value of self-care activities to promote health and manage stress, but he argues that self-care is not the answer for every concern. He makes the case for flexibly responding to emotional and practical challenges with realistic and useful thinking, solution-focused action, and responding to difficult emotions with greater acceptance and warmth. 

For anxiety, specifically, he talks about the risk of acting impulsively on anxiety and avoidance urges, and how this approach can make anxiety even more difficult to manage in the long run. Instead, he encourages responses to anxiety that prioritize long-term values, so that you can direct your attention to living with meaning and purpose. Joel’s approach involves relating to anxiety objectively, as an inevitable part of life, rather than something to get rid of. As much as self-care has its place, it’s important to consider opportunities for change and acceptance to help you respond to life’s challenges and the difficult thoughts and feelings that go with them, with strategies that boost personal control and life satisfaction. 

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More about our guest:

Joel Minden, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist, director of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, diplomate of The Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies, and adjunct professor at California State University, Chico. He is also the author of the self-help book, Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss and the Psychology Today blog, CBT and Me.