1 John 3:11-18| “Dying for Love”

Sunday morning sermon audio from Preston Highlands Baptist Church.

God’s Grace Changes Everything

We’re studying the short letter of First John which was written to churches who were being hounded by false teachers telling them that they had new, secret knowledge about how to really know God.  Their message undermined the original message of the apostles and contradicted the things these churches were taught from the beginning.

Their message was different and their lifestyle was different.  They were saying you could know God and not believe Jesus was the Son of God, know God and live however you want, know God and not love the church.  So John writes and basically says in his letter, “If you really know God through Jesus Christ, then everything changes about your life.”

His main point is that when God’s grace truly comes into a person’s life, that grace starts to spill over into the way they relate to everything.  They see the glory and deity of Jesus.  They see sin as ugly and righteousness as beautiful.  They see the church as family and love them no matter what.

John wants us to know that when Jesus Christ really comes into someone’s life, everything changes.  He says that the way we can know we really belong to God is by looking at the fruit of our lives.  John is basically saying, like James, that a faith without works is dead.

The Relational Test

Last week we talked about the moral test in 1 John 3.  Today we’ll see John move to the relational test in 3:11-18.  The relational test is about how we see other people in the church.  Do we love them or hate them?  Do we help them or ignore them?  John says that if God’s love lives in us, we’ll love the people Jesus died for.

The main point of our text today is that our love for each other should reflect Jesus’ love for us.  In 3:11-18, John draws a contrast between two different ways of relating to others.  He uses the Old Testament figure of Cain and the person of Jesus to show us the difference between hate and love.

We can divide the text into two sections.  First, in verses 11-15, John says don’t be like Cain.  Then, in verses 16-18, John says do be like Jesus.

The Love Command Isn’t New

First, John says in verses 11-15 that we shouldn’t be like Cain.  Notice that John begins in verse 11 by saying that the command to love one another is “the message that you have heard from the beginning.”  The love command is so basic to real Christianity that John equates it with “the message” they heard.  John links the two so closely that you can’t have one without the other.

In other words, he’s saying that the command to love one another isn’t an optional part of our walk with Christ.  It’s fundamental, non-negotiable.  Without it, you don’t have the real thing.  Failing to love means failing to understand the gospel.  When the gospel is truly received it changes us into people who love.

Then he says that they’ve had this message “from the beginning.”  Meaning it’s something they’ve heard before.  John isn’t writing to load them up with new commands.  He’s not like the false teachers who have new revelation and new burdens for the people to bear.  He’s giving them something he’s already given them.  He’s saying that real Christianity has always meant loving the church.

Don’t Be Like Cain

In verse 12, John brings up Cain to give an example of the opposite of what he’s talking about.  The opposite of loving one another is being like Cain.  In Genesis 4, we learn that Cain was angry because God didn’t accept his offering, whereas his brother Abel’s offering was accepted.  In his anger, Cain planned and carried out the murder of his brother.

Both Cain and Abel gave gifts to God.  There are only two reasons to give to God, out of gratitude for his grace or to earn his grace.  Cain’s reaction to his offering being rejected shows us that his gift was trying to earn God’s blessing, whereas Abel’s was a response to his blessing.  Cain was furious at God and at Abel because he didn’t get what he wanted out of God.  We know where our hearts are when we react with anger and rage when we don’t get what we want.

John’s point is that the world thinks and acts like Cain, so the church should be prepared for their rage (v. 13).  The church shouldn’t be surprised when a world full of Cain’s treats us like Cain treated Abel.

John is saying to be prepared for this, but he’s also drawing a contrast between Cain and the church.  Verses 14-15 say that those who don’t love the church are like Cain.  They live in the realm of death and have a murderous spirit in them.

John is echoing his teacher Jesus, who said in the Sermon on the Mount, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’  But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire” (Mt. 5:21-22).

Jesus is saying that the kind of anger, rage, and mocking attitude that fills a murderer’s heart fills all of our hearts.  He says that the same hellish things that drive people to murder live in our hearts.  He’s saying we’re not much different than Cain.

This is what John means when he says, “Whoever does not love abides in death,” and “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer” (1 Jn. 3:14-15).  Not loving people isn’t a morally neutral act.  It’s deadly and evil and reveals that death still lives in you.

But, John says, we can know whether this is true about us or not.  In verse 14, he says that “loving the brothers,” that is, the church, means we don’t live in death anymore but have come into life.  Love for the church proves we’re like Abel, not Cain.

Do you see how much is at stake in how we view the church?  John is saying that apathy toward the church means that you still live in the realm of death.  He’s saying that holding grudges against other believers and not letting things go and not forgiving and not doing everything in your power to reconcile with someone who’s hurt you in the church is serious business.  He’s saying that comparing and competing with church members is deadly stuff, that jealousy and bitterness and envy and seeking revenge have no place in the church of Jesus Christ.  Why?  Because that’s not what our Teacher Jesus did to us or taught us.

Do Be Like Jesus

That’s what John says next in verses 16-18, that instead of being like Cain, we should be like Jesus.  Cain revealed his hate by killing, Jesus his love by dying.  True love, John says, means giving up life, not taking it.  True love dies, not kills.

We all love love.  Mark Dever says that nothing in our culture is more highly valued but more poorly understood than love.  Here John tells us what true love looks like, “By this we know love…”  How do we know love?  By looking at Jesus’ death on the cross for us, “that he laid down his life for us.”  To begin to understand true love you have to look at Jesus on the cross.

Then John says that Jesus’ death  comes with a moral imperative, “we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.”  This isn’t a suggestion or a best practice.  The love command is a necessary result of Jesus dying for us.  His love for us demands that we love one another.

So what is love according to John?  It’s giving up your life for the good of others.  Love is serving people, not consuming people.  Love is always on the look-out for how to help others, not always on the look out for how to use others.  Are you more concerned with how others love you or how you love others?  Love is dying so others can live.  Be wary of a love that costs nothing.

Sharing with Those in Need

Interestingly, in verses 17-18 John applies this principle of sacrificial love in a very specific way.  He says in verse 17 that love means using the resources we have to bless those in need.  Then in verse 18 he says that our love must be revealed through deeds, not just words.

Of all the ways he could’ve applied the love command, he decided to talk about what we do with our “stuff” as a way we sacrificially love one another.  He wonders how a person can even claim to know the love of God if they aren’t using their resources to bless others (v. 17).

Because this is where John goes with his application, it’s where I want to go as well.  Sacrificial love for the church means sharing what we have with those in need.  I’m primarily thinking about how we share our money, or financial “goods.”

Give the Firstfruits

There’s lots to say about giving, or sharing, our resources.  I want to talk about the idea of firstfruits, where we should give, and how much.

Deuteronomy 26 is one of the places in the Old Testament where we find this idea of giving our firstfruits to God (vv. 1-12).  Why did God ask the Israelites to give some of their firstfruits?  Well, farmers don’t know what their income for the year will be until all the harvest comes in.  If we were farmers, we’d probably decide what to give based on that.  That would seem like the natural thing to do.  But God says not to do it that way.  He says to give of the firstfruits, before we know how big the harvest will be.

Why?  Because if we give out of the surplus, it’s just giving what we can afford to give without changing the way we live.  God says that he doesn’t want us to give out of our leftovers, but to give out of the heart of our income, to give past the place we think we can afford to give, to give in a way that changes the way we live, to give sacrificially, to give until it hurts.  If we only give out of the surplus, then our giving doesn’t affect the way we live.  But our giving should affect the way we live, where we eat, live, what we drive, where and how we vacation, what clothes and technology we buy.

If we only give out of the surplus, then when hard times come, we won’t give.  But the principle of giving the firstfruits says that we should give out of scarcity, not surplus.  Giving the firstfruits means that we trust God to provide everything we need.  Giving out of the surplus is how we usually think, but it means putting ourselves first.  Giving the firstfruits means putting God first.

Where and How Much Do We Give?

Deuteronomy also talks about where we should give and how much.  Verse 12 talks about giving to “the Levite, the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.”  So we give to the ministry, the “Levite”, or those who keep watch over us and feed us spiritually.  And we give to the poor, the sojourner, fatherless, widow, and orphan.

But how much should we give?  Deuteronomy 26:12 mentions the principle of tithing.  The New Testament doesn’t command Christians to tithe, but this doesn’t mean that tithing can’t be a useful principle in our giving.  And Jesus or the apostles never tell us not to tithe.

The tithe can be a good starting point for our giving.  Randy Alcorn compares tithing to a baby’s first steps.  They aren’t their last or best steps, but they’re a start.  He says tithing can be like training wheels, or a mechanism to help you start giving.  After a while, you don’t need the wheels.[1]  It therefore seems wise to start our giving at ten percent and see where God takes it from there.

In Luke 19, when Zacchaeus tells Jesus that he’ll give 50%, Jesus doesn’t stop him!  Grace pushes us past 10%.  The question isn’t how much we have to give, but how much can we give?

Giving a Result of Grace

Back in Deuteronomy 26, Moses says that the gift must be accompanied by a testimony (vv. 5-11).  The Israelites had to recount the grace of God toward them when they brought their gifts.  Why?  To remind them that everything they had was given to them by God, that their lives were a result of grace.

We too must connect our giving to the gospel.  Everything we have is a gift.  The things we have aren’t really ours.  Our talents, health, place we’re born is all out of our control.  When we give, we say, “I only have what I have because of the generosity of God.”

Our giving should hurt our lifestyle, but not our heart.  In Matthew 6, Jesus says, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Our treasure follows our heart.  In other words, we invest in the things we love the most.  Tim Keller says it this way, “Whatever your heart most treasures will be where your money goes most effortlessly.”

When we give to what we most love, it doesn’t even feel like spending – we have to be careful not to spend too much!  This is why I enter bookstores with fear and trembling.  I love books so much that I’ll spend whatever I can on them!

Jesus is saying that our giving shows us where our heart rests, whether our relationship with God is impersonal, or whether we’ve actually experienced his grace.  If we have, we’ll love to give, have no problem with it, and will give beyond what we can afford to give.  If we can’t give joyfully and sacrificially, then somethings wrong with our relationship with God.

Dying to Love

The only thing that can motivate this kind of giving is by looking at Jesus on the cross.  When we realize that he laid down his life for us, we’ll gladly give till it hurts for the good of others.  When we remember that on the cross Jesus had everything taken away from him for us, for our sins, that on the cross God gave his Son, his own blood, for us, we’ll want to do the same for others.

Jesus gave to the point where he lost his life.  This love is what makes our hearts treasure him.  If he did that, we can give till it changes our lives.  We can give under any circumstances.  If you don’t have an income, you’ll find ways to give your time and talents to serve the church.

Be aware of a love that costs you nothing.  John is telling us that God’s love creates sacrificial giving, that real love is painful and deliberate and generous and focused on the good of others.  He wonders how one can even claim to know the love of God if they aren’t loving this way.

Are you more concerned with how others love you or how you love others?  Real love means dying so others can live.  Are you dying to love?

[1]Randy Alcorn, The Treasure Principle: Unlocking the Secret of Joyful Giving (Colorado Springs: Multnomah Publishers, 2001), 63-7.