Power of Purity | Helping Men to Honor God with their Sexual Gift
406 episodes - English - Latest episode: 25 days ago - ★★★★ - 97 ratingsHere's the "cycle"... a man watches porn... often in violation of his very own conscience... and then masturbates... and then feels guilty... and then tries to NOT watch porn... and then starts the cycle over by watching porn again. The Power of Purity is for men who are interested in discovering how to control sex instead of being controlled by sex. The Power of Purity is a 100% safe and confidential resource that will help men... FINALLY... experience their sexual gift in a healthier way. Purity IS possible with The Power of Purity! A NEW EPISODE WILL PUBLISH EVERY TUESDAY!
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
POP 405 - 4 Easter Observations
April 02, 2024 05:00 - 18 minutes - 34.7 MBIn this episode Tony shares 4 important observations from the resurrection of Christ that inspire great hope in our hearts. No matter what's going on in our lives or situations, we do not have to be afraid, because of the resurrection. We can both see and experience God's fingerprints and work in our own hearts and lives, and then, based upon what the Lord has allowed us to "see", we can then "go and tell" others. Sometimes we're afraid because of the difficult situations or circumsanc...
POP 404 - A Donkey, a Colt, a Foal
March 26, 2024 05:00 - 15 minutes - 29.6 MBIn this episode, which was recorded during Holy Week, Tony shares some reflections from Matthew chapter 21 concerning Palm Sunday. This was the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, and as he did the people shouted exclamations of praise, adoration, and joy! "Hosanna to the Son of David!" "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" "Hosanna in the highest!" Among other key thoughts, Tony focuses on one intriguing observation from the passage, which is the prophetic...
POP 403 - The Temptation of Jesus
March 19, 2024 05:00 - 19 minutes - 36.1 MBJesus was fully God, and fully human, both at the same time. Jesus, as a human being, lived in this broken and fallen world. And in his humanity, Jesus experienced temptation just like us. Because of this, we have a Savior who understands us. When Jesus was in the wilderness he fasted for 40 days. At the end of the fast he was hungry, and the devil came to him to tempt hm. The devil tempted his to "turn these stones into bread". Or said another way, the essence of the temtptati...
POP 402 - 5 Options for Dealing with the "X"
March 12, 2024 05:00 - 21 minutes - 41.3 MBJust like a coin has 2 sides - heads and tails - there are 2 different components that are virutally inseperable, which are sex and relationship. Or, said another, sex is intended to occur within the context of relaitonship, and this leads to a very important and undeniable reality, which implicates the importance of healthy relaitonship. Or, said another way, the healthier and more funcitonal the relationship is , the healthier and more funcitonal the sex will be that occurs within the ...
POP 401 - Watch & Pray
March 05, 2024 06:00 - 8 minutes - 16.1 MBIn this weeks short episode Tony reflects on a very interesting scripture found in the Gospel of Matthew. Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane. He's very sad and he's struggling because he knows what's about to happen. He leaves most of the disciples at a particular place in garden, and then takes Peter, James, and John with him a little further into the garden. As the following scene then unfolds, he asks these three disciples, three different times, to "watch" and to "pray" so they...
POP 400 - The Blood Arrow
February 27, 2024 06:00 - 26 minutes - 49.5 MBThis is Episode 400 of The Power of Purity Podcast! The Blood Arrow! If you were an Indian and you went hunting, you'd probably take more than one arrow in your quiver. In fact, you'd probably want a whole quiver full of arrows, so you'd have plenty of shots ready if you needed them. In much the same way, people need many different "arrows" in their metaphorical quiver that they can draw upon in their struggle/battle agaisnt temptations. We need to have a battle plan in place, before...
POP 399 - The Second Greatest Gift You Could Ever Give To God
February 20, 2024 06:00 - 26 minutes - 50 MBIn this episode Tony shares the SECOND greatest gift you could ever give to God, which is the submission of your will to his will. When God decided to create human beings, he did most amazing and remarkable thing when he decided to give us free will. God did not make us robots. He did not program us so we would have to love him and obey him. Instead, he gave us free will so we would have the choice, and we could then choose to love him and obey him or we could choose not to. In thi...
POP 398 - The Power of Music
February 13, 2024 00:14 - 35 minutes - 66.7 MBIn this episode Tony shares a concept / idea / strategy that has helped him tremendously in his personal life... in his walk with God... in his purity walk... in his mental and emotional equilibrium for at least the past year. The Power of Music! God made us, and gave us a heart. And God made music, and music, in a mystical way, is a powerful language of the human heart. There's music in heaven, and there will be music for eternity. It's almost as if we wouldn't know how to be huma...
POP 397 - Checkmate
February 06, 2024 20:37 - 28 minutes - 54.2 MBIn this episode Tony shares 2 important metaphors. The first one concerns the game of chess. When you're playing chess, the objective is to get your opponent in "checkmate". This means he doesn't have any moves left. In this metaphor Tony compares our relationship with God to the game of chess. In one sense God is attmepting to get us in "checkmate", which means we surrender completely to his will, plan, and Lordship for our life. God's was is better than my way. And in an inte...
POP 396 - 4 Important Skills for Purity
January 30, 2024 19:01 - 13 minutes - 24.5 MBAre you serious about being a man of purity? Are you serious about expressing and experiencing your sexual gift in a way that’s consistent with what God says about sexuality? Are you serious about really working on this area of your life? If you are, these things are not going to happen on accident. It’s only going to happen if you can identify some strategic issues that will truly make a difference in your relationship with yourself, and then do the work that’s necessary to apply th...
POP 395 - Choose a Healthier Alternative
January 23, 2024 06:00 - 14 minutes - 26.6 MBGod did the most amazing and mysterious thing. He created us with free will; the ability to choose; the ability to say "yes" to something if we want to say "yes", and the ability to say "no" to something if we want to say "no". God could have made robots, but God wanted something way more authentic, and real, and sincere than that. He wanted a creature that had the ability to disobey him, but that would freely to choose to obey him. Wow! In this episode Tony reminds us that we have...
POP 394 - The Ultimate Proof
January 16, 2024 06:00 - 16 minutes - 31.1 MBThis world is very broken. Every person is very broken, and this is why we need a Savior. This world has a way of beating people up. There's hurt, pain, confusion, depression, difficulty and hardship in every person's life. It just looks different for each of us at different times of our lives. There's an ebb and a flow. When the going gets a little bit tough (or a lot tough), and it seems like things are really hard, we may sometimes be tempted to struggle with questions about G...
POP 393 - Connected to the Vine
January 09, 2024 06:00 - 20 minutes - 38.8 MBOur connection to God in the process of change, healing, and recovery is of supreme importance. It’s hard enough to overcome sexual compulsion, sexual addiction, or addiction to pornography with the Lord, let alone without the Lord. Even secular recovery programs such as Alcoholics Annoymous affrim the importance of your relationship to a "higher power" to the process of recovery, and at least 6 of the 12 steps directly mention this reality. Step 2: accept that a higher power, in wh...
POP 392 - Through the Storm
January 02, 2024 06:00 - 22 minutes - 41.9 MBTony recorded this episode on New Years Day, 2024! He focuses on one particular passage which is Luke 8:22-25, and observes how God often chooses to bring his people through a "storm" rather than around the "storm". In Psalm 23 it says that God is with us through the valley of the shadow of death. In the Old Testament God brought his people through the Red Sea when Pharoah was coming to destroy them. Jesus himself had to go through the cross in order to get to the resurrection. And...
POP 391 - Good News of Great Joy
December 25, 2023 20:05 - 21 minutes - 41.2 MBGood News of Great Joy Tony recorded this episode on Christmas morning and shares a significant observation from the story of the birth of Jesus in Luke chapter 2. 8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the peop...
POP 390 - Savior, Salvation, Redemption
December 19, 2023 20:55 - 16 minutes - 31.5 MBThis episode was recorded on December 19th, 2023... in the shadow of Christmas which was just 6 days away. It's so easy to get lost in the helter-skelter and business that comes along with this time of the year - buying Christmas gifts, parties, get togethers, traveling, family obligations, etc. Rush... rush... rush... busy... busy... busy! Sigh! In this episode Tony encourages us to remember the "true reason for the season", and shares 3 important observations from Luke 2, which is ...
POP 389 - God With Us
December 12, 2023 06:00 - 16 minutes - 30.8 MBIn this episode Tony explores the mystery of the Incarnation - the mysterious reality that God became a man, and made his dwelling among us. God became one of us, and the little baby in the manger - Jesus - was incomprehensibly 100% God and 100% human at the very same time. But this profound mystery isn't just theology for us to believe in our head. It's reality that makes all the difference in our hearts and lives. It's the reality that God is with us that creates the possiblity tha...
POP 388 - What Can God Stop?
December 05, 2023 06:00 - 20 minutes - 38.2 MBWhat can God stop? God is God, and God is all powerful, and God is almighty, and nothing is too hard for God. God can do anything God wants to do, and God can stop anything God wants to stop. In this episode Tony shares 15 amazing things that God stopped in the bible, along with the corresponding verse for each of these 15 things. (1) God stopped sickness. (2) God stopped the storm. (3) God stopped the armies of pharaoh. (4) God stopped paralysis. (5) God stopped leprosy. (...
POP 387 - To Tell The Truth
November 28, 2023 06:00 - 16 minutes - 30 MBThe truth is incredibly important. You're in a spiritual battle that's raging over your life, and the greatest weapon the enemy has to use against you is the power of the "lie". If the enemy tells you a lie, and you beleive the lie, it's as if the lie becomes your truth, because you're beliving it's true, even though it's a lie. In this way the lie can hold power and authority over your life and soul. For example, in the early days of Tony's struggle, he believe the lie, "I cannot re...
POP 386 - Important BAM Principles - Part 2
November 21, 2023 06:00 - 16 minutes - 29.6 MBA listener of The Power of Purity Podcast sent the following note: I recently listened to episodes 162 and 163 with Frank Johnson and am now going through all 300 plus episodes myself. I am tired of that powerless feeling when those BAM moments hit and want to get to a place where I am controlling sex and not the other way around. I just want to say how much of a blessing your show has been to me. I really relate to you and the guests you’ve had on the podcast. Please continue to keep up t...
POP 385 - Important BAM Principles - Part 1
November 14, 2023 06:00 - 26 minutes - 49.8 MBA listener of The Power of Purity Podcast sent the following note: I recently listened to episodes 162 and 163 with Frank Johnson and am now going through all 300 plus episodes myself. I am tired of that powerless feeling when those BAM moments hit and want to get to a place where I am controlling sex and not the other way around. I just want to say how much of a blessing your show has been to me. I really relate to you and the guests you’ve had on the podcast. Please continue to keep up t...
POP 384 - Muscle Memory - Part 2
November 07, 2023 06:00 - 36 minutes - 67.7 MBMuscle memory is so important is so many areas of life and especally in sports. Dancing. Bowling. Golf. Ping Pong. Tennis. Swimming. To become really good at the game you're trying to master, you often need to develop "muscle memory" so you can repeat the proper motion over and over again. The movement needs to become embedded in your body. It needs to become instinct and intuition. You need to be able to do what you need to do, over and over again, without even thinking ...
POP 383 - Muscle Memory - Part 1
October 31, 2023 05:00 - 38 minutes - 59.2 MBMuscle memory is so important is so many areas of life and especally in sports. Dancing. Bowling. Golf. Ping Pong. Tennis. Swimming. To become really good at the game you're trying to master, you often need to develop "muscle memory" so you can repeat the proper motion over and over again. The movement needs to become embedded in your body. It needs to become instinct and intuition. You need to be able to do what you need to do, over and over again, without even thinking ...
POP 382 - Castaway - Part 3
October 24, 2023 05:00 - 17 minutes - 32.1 MBDo you remember the movie, Castaway? In the movie Tom Hanks plays a character named Chuck Noland, who works for Fed Ex. As the story unfolds, he's involved in a plane crash and he's the sole survior. He washes ashore on a deserted island and remains stranded there for over 4 years. His only "companion" is a volleyball he names "Wilson", who he talks to on a regular basis. He tries several times to escape the island but it's an exercise in futility because of the power of the cras...
POP 381 - Castaway - Part 2
October 17, 2023 05:00 - 29 minutes - 55.8 MBDo you remember the movie, Castaway? In the movie Tom Hanks plays a character named Chuck Noland, who works for Fed Ex. As the story unfolds, he's involved in a plane crash and he's the sole survior. He washes ashore on a deserted island and remains stranded there for over 4 years. His only "companion" is a volleyball he names "Wilson", who he talks to on a regular basis. He tries several times to escape the island but it's an exercise in futility because of the power of the cras...
POP 380 - Castaway - Part 1
October 10, 2023 05:00 - 30 minutes - 57.1 MBDo you remember the movie, Castaway? In the movie Tom Hanks plays a character named Chuck Noland, who works for Fed Ex. As the story unfolds, he's involved in a plane crash and he's the sole survior. He washes ashore on a deserted island and remains stranded there for over 4 years. His only "companion" is a volleyball he names "Wilson", who he talks to on a regular basis. He tries several times to escape the island but it's an exercise in futility because of the power of the cras...
POP 379 - Why Did God Invent Sex? - Part 3
October 03, 2023 05:00 - 28 minutes - 53.5 MBIn this series of episodes Tony talks about why God invented sex. God is brilliant. God is a genius. The wisdom and power of God are incomprehensible. At some point in the flow of eternity God decides he's going to create the universe, and humanity. And just think for a moment about how God could have created humanity if he wanted to. If God wanted the human race he could have just created 8 billion people all at once, just like he created Adam and Eve. But for some reason God ...
POP 378 - Why Did God Invent Sex? - Part 2
September 26, 2023 05:00 - 29 minutes - 56.2 MBIn this series of episodes Tony talks about why God invented sex. God is brilliant. God is a genius. The wisdom and power of God are incomprehensible. At some point in the flow of eternity God decides he's going to create the universe, and humanity. And just think for a moment about how God could have created humanity if he wanted to. If God wanted the human race he could have just created 8 billion people all at once, just like he created Adam and Eve. But for some reason God ...
POP 377 - Why Did God Invent Sex? - Part 1
September 19, 2023 15:51 - 31 minutes - 59.1 MBIn this series of episodes Tony talks about why God invented sex. God is brilliant. God is a genius. The wisdom and power of God are incomprehensible. At some point in the flow of eternity God decides he's going to create the universe, and humanity. And just think for a moment about how God could have created humanity if he wanted to. If God wanted the human race he could have just created 8 billion people all at once, just like he created Adam and Eve. But for some reason God ...
POP 376 - Reel It In
September 12, 2023 05:00 - 33 minutes - 62.7 MBGod is pretty smart. In fact, God is a genius! Sex was his idea. He invented sex. God must be brilliant! He's the one who concieved of it, and created it, and made it as wonderful, and mysterious, and delicious as it is. Since God is the one who invented sex, God has an opinion about sex. He has a heart, mind, will, design, and plan for human sexuality. There are ways to experience sex that are consistant with God's plan for sex, and ways that are inconsistant with his plan. ...
POP 375 - Peculiar People - Part 2
September 05, 2023 05:00 - 17 minutes - 33.4 MBThe bible says that God's people are "peculiar people". We are called to be very different from people who do now know, love, or serve God. Out of all the nations of the earth, God chose Israel to be his people. They were to be very different from the nations around them. God's people are to think different. God's people are to have different priorities. God's people think very differently about money, marraige, values, and virtually every area of life. And this "peculiar" diff...
POP 374 - Peculiar People - Part 1
August 29, 2023 05:00 - 31 minutes - 58.5 MBThe bible says that God's people are "peculiar people". We are called to be very different from people who do now know, love, or serve God. Out of all the nations of the earth, God chose Israel to be his people. They were to be very different from the nations around them. God's people are to think different. God's people are to have different priorities. God's people think very differently about money, marraige, values, and virtually every area of life. And this "peculiar" diff...
POP 373 - The Power of Loving God
August 22, 2023 05:00 - 33 minutes - 61.7 MBIn this episode Tony shares several very impotant things: (1) He gives a shout out to his old friend, Larry, who just went to heaven. God bless Larry! God bless his life! Larry loved the Lord and served the Lord his whole life, and now Larry is in the presence to of the Lord! To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. II Corinthians 5:8 (2) He shares a beautiful worship song, I Love You Lord, sung by Jared Reynolds. (3) He shares very openly about a "fear" he has...
POP 372 - Talk Yourself Off The Ledge
August 15, 2023 05:00 - 33 minutes - 62.2 MBHave you ever felt like you were standing on the ledge of a building about 50 stories tall? Have you ever felt like you’re about to fall off the ledge? Have you ever felt like you might jump? Sometimes life feels overwhelming. Sometimes we get flooded. Sometimes we’re overwhelmed. Sometimes our emotions charge in to seize us and make us feel horrible feelings we don’t want to feel. Sometimes we don’t know what to do. What do we do when we don’t know what to do? In this epis...
POP 371 - Tony's Divorce Appeal
August 08, 2023 05:00 - 1 hour - 186 MBIn this episode of the podcast Tony shares 4 words that he never thought he'd ever say in his entire life: I'm a divorced man. Tony and Sheri were married on September 17th, 1983, and they were divorced on July 20th, 2023. That means they were married for 39 years, 10 months, and 3 days, or said another way, they were married for just 59 days short of 40 years. On the day Tony recorded this episode of the podcast he had been a divorced man for 12 days. In this heartfelt episode Ton...
POP 370 - Run To God - Part 2
August 01, 2023 05:00 - 29 minutes - 54.4 MBTony was recently invited to speak on Sunday morning at Trinity Community Church, and in this series he shares the message he presented on that day entitled, "Run to God". We live in a deeply broken world, and sometimes life has a way of beating us up. What do you do when you don't understand what's going on in your life? What do you do when you're overwhelmed with your situation? What do you do when you feel like the waters are up to your neck? What do you do when it seems like Go...
POP 369 - Run to God - Part 1
July 25, 2023 05:00 - 33 minutes - 62.5 MBTony was recently invited to speak on Sunday morning at Trinity Community Church, and in this series he shares the message he presented on that day entitled, "Run to God". We live in a deeply broken world, and sometimes life has a way of beating us up. What do you do when you don't understand what's going on in your life? What do you do when you're overwhelmed with your situation? What do you do when you feel like the waters are up to your neck? What do you do when it seems like Go...
POP 368 - 5 Strategies for Purity
July 18, 2023 05:00 - 29 minutes - 55.8 MBIn this eipisde Tony shares 5 important purity obervations from 1 Peter 1:13-16. In this passage the Apostle Peter shares 5 strategies that bridge the gap from your mind on the inside to holiness in your life on the outside. (1) Prepare your mind for action. (2) Self-control. (3) Set your hope fully on the grace of Jesus Christ which will be revealed when he returns. (4) Be obedient children of God who no longer conform to the evil desires you obeyed when you lived in ignorance. ...
POP 367 - Taking Risks with Sex
July 11, 2023 05:00 - 35 minutes - 65.9 MBHave you ever been in the place where you know you should not sexully do the thing your're about to do, but for some reason you're simply powerless to resist against it, and you go ahead and do the thing even though you know you shouldn't to the thing? You go ahead and take the "risk" even though you know you should not be taking the "risk". What's going on with that? How and when did we learn to take such great risks with our sexual self? Where were the seeds of such risk taking pla...
POP 366 - Take It To God - Part 2
July 04, 2023 14:09 - 35 minutes - 67.2 MBTony has been leading a men's purity group for over the past 20 years. In group he recently shared a teaching with the men entitled, "Take It To God". To illustrate the ideas shared in this teaching Tony created the diagram that appears as the image attached to this episode. The image is color coded, and illustrates the 3 primary strategies available to us as we seek to process the hurt, pain, and trauma in our lives. (1) Self-Medication (2) Denial (3) Face it In this series To...
POP 365 - Take It To God - Part 1
June 27, 2023 05:00 - 34 minutes - 64.7 MBTony has been leading a men's purity group for over the past 20 years. In group he recently shared a teaching with the men entitled, "Take It To God". To illustrate the ideas shared in this teaching Tony created the diagram that appears as the image attached to this episode. The image is color coded, and illustrates the 3 primary strategies available to us as we seek to process the hurt, pain, and trauma in our lives. (1) Self-Medication (2) Denial (3) Face it In this series To...
POP 364 - No Temptation Has Taken You
June 20, 2023 05:00 - 24 minutes - 46.7 MBIn this episode Tony focuses on a beatiful and very hopeful verse in the bible. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. I Corinthians 10:13 Tony shares seven very important observations from this verse that affirm that you can process and manage the temptations that come to you in a healthy and godl...
POP 363 - Shoulder Surgery
June 06, 2023 05:00 - 5 minutes - 11 MBHey guys! Tony here! When I was 13 years old I dislocated my right shoulder, and the injury has literly followed me through life for the past 52 years. It was finally time to do something about it (as in bone on bone and unbearable pain) and this past Friday (4 days ago) I had a complete shoulder replacement surgery. Since I began the podcast over 7 years ago I've never missed publishing an episode, and I don't want to start now. (Please note - I did take a sabbatical from the podc...
POP 362 - The Hidden Price of Porn
May 30, 2023 05:00 - 30 minutes - 56.9 MBWhen we look at porn, she's always so beautiful. Right? We're captivated, and enraptured by the form of her naked body. It makes us want so bad what we're seeing with our natural eyes. We think that this is what we need to feel happy and fulflled. But if we could see her in another way, with our spritual eyes, she might look more like the image posted to represent this episode of the podcast. She's a metaphorical corpse. She's rotten, and decaying. As it says in Galatians 6:8...
POP 361 - Yoke, Bit & Compass
May 23, 2023 05:00 - 38 minutes - 72.6 MBSince he's moving soon (because of his wife's divorce) Tony has been getting rid of all kinds of stuff in the effort to downsize for the move. Therefore when his sister and nephew invited him to go to the local flea market he was determined to try to not buy any more "stuff". However, when he left the flea market 3 hours later he was the proud owner of 3 items he had puchased. Tony bought each one of these 3 items because each one is a metaphor of a significant spritual reality that he...
POP 360 - The Accumulation of Successes
May 16, 2023 05:00 - 34 minutes - 64.3 MBIf you're going to be the man of God, and the man of purity that God is calling you to be you have to get in the battle and stay in the battle. You're going to have to fight temptations to make quality decisions. You're going to have to exercise your "NO" muscle. I wish I could tell you that when you have a success, and you properly navigate your way through and around a temptation, that this success will carry you for the next 90 days, and you won't even be tempted again for at least ...
POP 359 - From a Beast to a Fly
May 09, 2023 05:00 - 29 minutes - 55.4 MBIn this episode Tony talks about how the battle for purity becomes easier over time. We become stronger. We learn to exercise our "no muscle". We accumulate more and more successes. We learn that we can resist temptation. Temptation is not bigger than you. You're bigger than temptation, and God always makes a way to escape. You can grow in godliness. You can grow in righteousness. You're not doomed to forever hang on by the skin of your teeth and white knuckles. In the ol...
POP 358 - The Confluence of Compulsion
May 02, 2023 05:00 - 39 minutes - 73.3 MBSalmon are amazing. Every year they turn around to swim upstream agaisnt very powerful currents that are resisting them. They return to the place they were born so they can spawn, a new generation of salmon are born. Their survial is based upon their ability to swim against the vicious currents. In much the same way, our metaphorical survival to be the men of God that we're called to be will be predicated upon our ability to swim against the persistant, and powerful, and vicious curr...
POP 357 - You Control You
April 25, 2023 05:00 - 35 minutes - 66.7 MBThe bible says in Proverbs 25:28 that a man who has no self-control is like a city with no walls. That's not a good thing! In the days of the bible is was very important to have a wall around your city because the wall is what protected you from the bad guys. If you didn't have a wall around your city you would be subject to attack at any time and you couldn't protect yourself effetively. In much the same way, if we're ever going to be the man God is calling us to be, and if we're ev...
POP 356 - Brain Management - Part 3
April 18, 2023 05:00 - 43 minutes - 81.7 MBIn this new series talks about the importance of "brain management". Sometimes it's hard enough to fight the battle when the enemy is on the outside of me, but what do I do when the enemy seems like he's on the inside of me, because sometimes it feels like the enemy is me! My own thoughts and my own emotions sometimes gang up on me and conspire against me in a very powerful way, and it's at these times I need a self-awarness to fight agaisnt my very own thoughts and emotions in the attem...