Naughty or Nice

Wherein we learn of Susan’s ability to deal with domestic monsters, and hear how Death (as the Hogfather) deals with the children in the Hogfather’s Grotto in Chumley’s, in the Maul, Ankh-Morpork

How does the Hogfather deal with un-belief? Well, if he’s actually Death disguised as the Hogfather, it may be in an unpleasant, although undoubtedly effective way. You could ask Aaron Fidget, of Ankh-Morpork, for his take on it. 

The Hogfather crashed a Hogfather display in the Hogfather’s Grotto in Chumley’s, and quickly found out who had been naughty and who had been nice. In addition to hearing about this, we learn how Susan Sto Helit, whilst making her own way in the world (as a governess) finds her more-than-human ancestry a distinct advantage when she is dealing with the monsters that show up under the beds of her young charges, Twyla and Gawain. 

And that, dear listener, uses up episode 2 of the special Hogfather edition of the Portal. It also uses up 2019, so let’s be getting out there and doubling down on the random acts of kindness in the weeks and months to come. 

This week’s quote is “They opened the ledger. They looked at it for a very long time.

Then Mort said, “What do all those symbols mean?”

“Sodomy non sapiens,” said Albert under his breath.

“What does that mean?”

“Means I’m buggered if I know.”

Is this exchange from Reaper Man, Mort, or Guard, Guards? Send your answer to me at [email protected], and you may win this season’s grand prize, a copy of the line art Discworld seen from above, by Paul Kidby, and lovingly hand-colored (just like a medieval manuscript) by your guide and host for expeditions through the Portal.

You can also find our Discord server, Friends of the Discworld Portal, at discord.com. On the server you will find exclusive content as well as opportunities for chat with your fellow Portal listeners.

Patreon will also be host to some exclusive content in January. More than usual, that is. If you are a Patreon subscriber you already know you get exclusive content through the Portal’s Patreon page, but in January we will be dropping a couple of free-to-all goodies, as a Happy New Year wish to all of you. 

As always, no cats, turtles, or other sapient species were harmed in the making of this episode. And remember: De Chelonian Mobile. Don’t let anyone tell you different.