The More You Know: Music Biz Edition

Earlier today I started tweeting a series of snarky tips for musicians and music industry...

The post The More You Know: Music Biz Edition appeared first on The Jazz Session.

Earlier today I started tweeting a series of snarky tips for musicians and music industry folks. They were retweeted quite a bit, so I decided to collect them all here. You can follow me on Twitter at @jasondcrane. Enjoy!

Every time your web site begins playing music automatically, a puppy spontaneously combusts.
Every time someone is forced to visit myspace to learn more about your music, a baby seal falls into a meat grinder.
If you’re an active musician whose web site was last updated a few months ago, you’re causing global warming.
Every time you send out a promo CD with no track titles or musician names, a butterfly flaps its wings and they fall off.
Every time someone visits your gig calendar and finds it was last updated in 2009, Dick Cheney shoots a guy in the face.
Every time your bio lists your “forthcoming CD” as one that came out 3 years ago, George W. Bush chops down a redwood.
Every time you make me type your CD details into my music software because you forgot, Donald Rumsfeld has an orgasm.
Every time you put a comment form rather than your email address on your web site, an old person loses their health care.
Every time your bio is a long list of the people you’ve “shared the stage with,” more oil spills into the Gulf of Mexico.
Musicians: If you have a Twitter account & haven’t tweeted in weeks or months, you don’t have a Twitter account.

The post The More You Know: Music Biz Edition appeared first on The Jazz Session.