NEWSFLASH: there is SO MUCH FIRE in Portrait of a Lady on . . . what was it again? Oh, yeah. EFFING FIRE. I mean, we all got the figurative fire and some of the literal fire, but there's so much more when you try your best to ignore the growing, burning desire between the two clearly smitten French island lesbians and HEY [*claps at your face*] JUST FOCUS ON THE LITERAL FIRE. We definitely missed a lot the first five or so times we watched it, so in this episode we stare directly into the flames and try to figure out what it all means.

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