Please Send Dick Pics Episode 20 with Mary Upchurch

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO FLAVORED MAYONNAISE WEEKEND FOR WHITE PEOPLE!

(Why does Terry Gross always sound like she should host The Twilight Zone?)

This week we have special guest co-host female comedian and former pageant winner of Miss Immaculate Hispanic Catholic USA, Mary Upchurch.

April Walterscheid and Mary talk about some pretty juicy Celebrity Dicks of the Week. They also talk about dating other comedians, Max Headroom, MacGyver, Cindy Crawford, Jerry Lee Lewis, Neil Simon, "Coach," Spuds Mackenzie, Bud Light, Britney Spears Pepsi Commercial, Target Dog, A-HA!, Arizona’s Funniest Comedian With A Day Job, winning second place in every comedy competition, trash talking celebrities, guilty pleasures, organic segways, Kanye Father of Dragons, April being an aspiring hoodlum underneath her librarian facade, April using tampons finally, Great Britain banning analog clocks because kids can’t read them, how adding up time manually is really hard, My Favorite Murder podcast, Mueller She Wrote podcast, Scrooge McDick, being terrible at reading maps, almost driving into Wisconsin in the dead of winter in 2004, recently converted Neptunian Ariana Grande using Neptune as a face mask from planet Sephora, DJ Khaled going vegan and giving up fish forever but not kale (his last name is actually pronounced Kale’d), Charlie Rose/Tom Brokaw being literally the same terrible asshole, Tom Brokaw’s past of chatting on AIM and completely missing his target by being unable to read women, how nightly news reporters are just overly serious comedians who don’t know how to comedian, born-again attorney Rudy Giuliani outright confirming Trump paid off Stormy Daniels, Buttchugging, Jon Hamm's dick outline, and Mary getting a massage from masseuse Felipe during the entire recording of this podcast (Felipe voiced by Mary for some reason because she is her own self Spanish-translator).

Mary Upchurch’s Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/maryupchurchphx

Thank you to our listeners for sponsoring this podcast that we had planned to cancel a few months ago. You are keeping us going as we strip down to just above our souls to keep things light right in front of you. So to sponsor this podcast, please throw dollar bills at: http://www.paypal.me/apriloneil. (Use #MagicMike in the message so we know it’s for this podcast because we have SOOO many other podcasts we are currently trying to juggle until one of them leaves us and makes it in the tiny town of Hollywood, South Carolina.)

"Jenny Clone" sketch mentioned during podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sloVl5jaunY
Related video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Iw1uEVaQpA

Shoutout to fellow comedians Brandie Posey and August O'Neal.

“Brady Bunch Theme Song (Instrumental)” by DJ Singalong

April’s 4th most favorite movie EVER:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q5XVvBzF-w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf8im5NX7JE