Why cant you trust someone's Love? -By Sri Preethaji

Your loving listening can heal the hearts of others; what they are looking for is an experience of compassion.

It is like a constant game of - you be in my life, but, maintain a distance. You be with me, but don’t get too close. 

WHY CAN’T YOU TRUST SOMEONE’S LOVE?

Why is it so hard for two people who know each other very well to live together peacefully? 
Common sense says it must be easy. Common sense also says, we simply need to be helpful and civil to each other. That is all. 

But is it that simple? If it were so, why do parents and children incessantly argue? Why do couples misunderstand each other so easily? Why can’t we tolerate the elderly?

Let us understand. 

Every human being is a wounded person. We are wounded and hurt by our parents, by school and  by society. We each may have many bitter experiences in the past. 

When you loved someone in the past, be it a friend you trusted, a boy friend or a girl friend, a sibling or a parent, and were disappointed by that person, you become wounded. 

Even if you have practically moved on, the wound internally lingers in your consciousness. 

You become like the Tenali Rama’s cat that refuses to drink anything white, because it’s tongue was burnt earlier while drinking milk. 

To trust and to feel safe feels very difficult. Therefore you become extremely cautious and untrusting. 

You will still want people in your life, not because you love them, but because you fear being lonely. It is like a constant game of - you be in my life, but, maintain a distance. You be with me, but don’t get too close. 

We are afraid of being wounded and wounding others with our anger. 

We are scared of our own loneliness and that we will be disappointed with our partners. We as human beings have been on the run from each other , we have been running from our own selves too. 

You are terrified you may ruin your own life with disappointments and loneliness. 

This time of seclusion and compulsive living alone or with your families can actually help you come face to face with all this. Some wounds are unexplainable. 

They  even flow from previous lives. And you may for no reason develop a deep dislike towards some one. 

You will have to become free of such a dislike too. Otherwise this samskara will continue to flow into your next life and will continue to haunt you. 

How do we begin our journey towards healing ourselves and healing others? The only way is compassion- to be able to feel yourself and to be able to feel the other. 

You will have compassion for each other only when you realise that just the way that you are wounded, the other too is wounded in life. No ne is an exception to these wounds. 

If this seed of initial compassion, can take root within you,  you will engage in loving conversation. You will listen to the other with an intention of feeling their pain, not to prove your goodness, not to prove your rightness to them. 

If you simply opened your heart and listened to what is hurting someone, that very loving listening can heal them. 

When your partner or child moves into an anger outburst in the middle of your conversation, most of the times, they are not asking for answers or for solutions. 

What they are actually looking for is an experience of connection and compassion.  They want you to listen, they want you to feel them. 

Something magical happens when you listen with compassion for another. You heal and they heal too. 

Try it and see.