Dissolving differences between couples -By Sri Krishnaji

Do you want love to stay and continue in your relationships?

Is there love in all this? It seems to be a battle for egoic supremacy.

Question - I feel my partner prioritises her desires more than our family. This is leading to a big rift in our relationships. I am not able to accept it. Can you please guide us? 

Every idea or opinion you have about your partner is only your view; and a view that keeps changing; it is not the absolute truth.

 If you realised this, there can be room for love to take birth between you. 

 To form a view or opinion on your partner, based on your life experiences is natural. But when you hold on to your perceptions with rigidity, without being open to any other perception,  you become intolerant.

 You become judgemental.  You become insensitive to your partner. You don’t care for their feelings .

 All you want to do is reinforce your view that “you were right” in the opinion you had about the other.  And you want them to accept it.  And you want the world to accept that you were right!

 Is there love in all this? It seems to be a battle for egoic supremacy.

 To believe that your ideas and your opinions are the only truth, is like being a Koopastha Mandooka.

 You are like a frog that was born and raised in a well.

Such a frog assumes that there is no larger expanse of water other than the well in which it lives.

 If any other creature said otherwise, that creature was a liar or was an enemy.  

To this frog the sea is a lie; the lake is a myth; the river is an untruth.  

 Are not your rigid ideas and opinions of your partner a result of  absence of love?

 Don’t assume that your view of the other is the ultimate View.

Understand that, if only you are willing to let go of your rigid view, can there be room for love between you.

 Such an understanding will spur you to go beyond your rigid views and prompt both of you to evolve into a greater relationship that is filed with love.

 Let us now move into a reflection 

Please invite your partner to join you in this reflection too.

 • Sit  together in a comfortable posture and close your eyes.

Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth in total awareness, 7 times.

 • Reflect on any one conflicting situation you both run into repeatedly.  

 • Observe the ideas and opinions you hold about that situation.

• Every time you get stuck in your views, your responses to your partner are egoistic, stubborn and unwise.

 • These compulsive reactions rob love from your relationship; don’t they?

 • Now take a deep breath into your heart.  Is there something beautiful about this person that your heart can see, once this prejudice is gone. What would that be?

 • This might be a beautiful time for both of you to hold each other’s hands. Ask the universe to help you connect from the heart beyond these differences.

 Namaste. Have a beautiful day in a beautiful state