Depression or search for Meaning ? - By Sri Krishnaji

Depression or search for Meaning ? - By Sri Krishnaji

How do you know if what you are going through is depression or a deeper search for meaning ? 

The line is thin and the demarcation hard.  

But let us enquire deeper. 

Does life intrinsically have meaning? Does the tree that stands outside your window have a meaning? 

It is existence isn’t it?. Pure existence. 

Do the droplets of rain falling to the ground have a meaning?

They are rivulets of existence. Pure existence. 

Does your breathing or waking up have a meaning in itself? 

It is a movement of existence. Pure existence.

 The tree may not have a meaning but it is true that it does serve a purpose.

 The tree is  necessary for the earth and its existence serves millions of life forms

 So does the drop of water falling from the sky in nourishing the earth

So does your smile in bringing a smile to someone else's face.

This search for meaning is an existential quest. Why do I exist at all?  what is the meaning of it all? 

marriage ? 

job? 

money?

mine - not mine?

holding?

owning?  it is as if you are relentlessly searching to go to the root of everything. 

For some of you this search is a conscious act. It is a quest you are on. For some others it is as if the search has possessed you. Everything loses its charm quickly and discontent grips. All relationships, all achievements, all glamour - everything feels utterly superficial. Life feels fake, like a Truman show - all display and nothing real. 

Let me ask you a critical question here. Does your discontent feel like an inner calling to rise beyond separation, beyond the mind created suffering to something beyond, to a state that is untouched by sorrow? 

Or does it feel like a habit?

a depression?

a meaningless self engagement

a continuous process of taking offense for the smallest remarks

a feeling that life is going wrong

a helpless process of clinging on to something 

Where do you think you are going? 

Pause. Know your answer. And your answer will show you the way forward. 

Whether you recognize that yours is a spiritual quest or that what you are going through is depression the  journey ahead will only be beautiful. 

you either have two stops or one. 

your first stop could be healing your brain and body of depression and then to a process for spiritual awakening  to never again fall into the trap of mind-created suffering. 

Or 

Yours is a single stop journey, a journey to awakening into higher states of consciousness. 

When your consciousness truly wakes up, the search ends, living begins.