Patrick E. McLean
89 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago -Short fiction every week and serial novel "A Town Called Nowhere"
patrickemclean.substack.com
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Episodes
Nowhere Ch. 22 -- A Stranger Stranger Comes to Town
August 22, 2022 15:29 - 19 minutes - 27.4 MBIf Dance only looked at one side of the street it could almost appear that Grantham had gotten back to normal. There had been a rough few days after the fire, but they’d buried the dead, said words over them, and moved on. That didn’t mean that things were good but they could've been a hell of a lot worse. Food and supplies were dwindling, but since Dance had organized hunting parties, supplies were dwindling nice and slow. Sure, they'd have to do something about it, but right now the 203...
Nowhere Ch. 21 - From The Ashes
July 29, 2022 23:18 - 17 minutes - 23.8 MBLaura looked out over what was left of the Town of Grantham. Smoldering buildings. Bodies scattered across the street. She realized that this was the reality. This was the natural state. There would be no rescue. Not by Virgil nor anyone else. She felt an urge to lay down with the dead and be at peace. Then she looked back to her children, asleep in each other's arms, huddled against the wall of Saloon #3. She resolved to go in search of hope even if she no longer believed in it. She walk...
Nowhere Ch. 20 - All Against All
July 17, 2022 16:27 - 9 minutes - 13.6 MBThe town burned through the night and when the glow of dawn finally overpowered the glow of the embers, the townspeople who were still alive collapsed to the Earth from weariness. Exhaustion granted a temporary reprieve from the crush of defeat. Half of the town had burned. The north side was spared only by the direction of the wind and the unusual width of the main street. The Morning Star mine works, the Morning Star Saloon, The First Baptist Church, the Miller General store and countle...
Nowhere Ch. 19 - Virgil Strikes the Earth
June 18, 2022 20:22 - 11 minutesVirgil had sat in the Nothing with the Shaman for an amount of time he could not identify. He asked, "I saw you dead. How is any of this possible?” “It would be more polite if you asked me a question I could answer,” said Shaman, running his colorless fingers through the colorless grass on which they sat. “I am what you see, but I am not what you see. Your mind makes sense of it with the symbols it has.” Virgil stared at him in mute confusion. The old Shaman that was No One tried again...
Nowhere Ch. 18 - Up in Flames
May 28, 2022 20:35 - 27 minutesDance crawled until he passed out. He couldn’t say how long he slept, but he was brought back to consciousness by the peaceful sound of his horse cropping grass close to his head. At this he spasmed in fear, rolled onto his back and crab-walked backwards, scrambling for his pistol. His horse looked at him evenly, knowing him for the fool that he was. When Dance realized his situation, he replaced his half–unholstered pistol and said a prayer of gratitude. Then he started looking for his ...
Nowhere Ch. 17 --Dance Goes on a Scout
May 13, 2022 22:25 - 28 minutesAs Sheriff John Dance rode down to the river, Miguel, the Stagecoach agent, came up beside him. Dance gave him a skeptical look, and didn’t have time to get to the question before Miguel said, “I have responsibilities…” Fair enough thought Dance. He cast an eye over Miguel’s horse and rig. It was packed light and well, and Miguel sat his horse easy. He looked like he knew what doing. Probably more than Dance did. Dance was no frontier hand or Indian fighter by nature. But the misadventures...
Nowhere Ch. 16 - A Temple to a Far Older God
April 24, 2022 13:52 - 27 minutesDr. Krupp was terrified. In all his years of selling snake oil throughout the frontier — a figure he often exaggerated, but in truth amounted to no more than three years — he had seen many remarkable things but never had he seen Dr. Bartoleermere the Second’s Magic Elixir actually work. But it had happened. He had seen the little girl’s wound heal! And Dr. Krupp had no idea what to do next. As townspeople rushed about, frantic with news of the attack, Dr. Krupp walked in a circle in the c...
Nowhere Ch. 15 - From Nowhere to Nothing
April 16, 2022 21:45 - 20 minutesVirgil sat for two days while the strange grass around him died in the heat. At night he slept on the ground and in the daytime he sat once again. At some point, he remembered not when, he unhitched the horses from the wagon and hobbled them. When he drank the last of the water from his canteen they had crowded close, pitiful with dehydration. It was only his sympathy for the horses that got him up and moving again. Where the well had once been in the town of Grantham, he found the barest ...
Nowhere Ch 14 - Take Your Bullets and Go
April 08, 2022 16:49 - 10 minutesAs the Sheriff and Pete walked back through town, they could all but smell the fear. Gone was the carelessness of rough men when they weren’t working. Wide eyes peeped out from behind dirty curtains. The piano player in the Occidental Saloon was going at it hammer and tongs, sounding more strained than celebratory. The noisiest place in town was Saloon #3 and that wasn’t a good sign. If Dance didn’t know better he’d say this town felt like it had a showdown comin’. Maybe? Who the hell kne...
Nowhere Ch 13 - The Aftermath
April 02, 2022 14:23 - 10 minutesFor a long time, nobody said anything. They just stood on the bank of the strange new river with the wounded as if the whispering of the water would explain what had happened. All in all, Dance thought, it could have been a whole lot worse and it probably would be before the end. Pete asked, “You want to get up a posse and go after them, Sheriff?” Dance shook his head. “Let’s figure out what we’d be raiding into before we go a-raidin’. Besides, if that boat went upriver, it will come back...
Nowhere Ch. 12 - The Attack
March 26, 2022 01:23 - 15 minutesSquatting on the bank of the river, Archie offered one word of description for the wooden ship that was bearing down upon the Town of Grantham, “Trireme.” Sheriff Dance paid no attention to Archie. His eyes were locked on an imposing figure at the rail, who was looking down on the town and the people frolicking in the water. Even at a distance Dance could see that this man was not smiling. In the shallows, Mack stared at the ship in wonder. On the bank, his sister turned a cartwheel in t...
Nowhere Ch. 10 & 11 -- Ethan Burdock & Welcome to Town
March 18, 2022 20:11 - 27 minutesChapter 10 — Ethan Burdock To the Northwest of Grantham was the Bar-D ranch, owned by Ethan Burdock. Burdock had carved a 28,000-acre ranch out of Indian territory long before anyone had thought to look for silver in this rough land. More than five thousand head of Longhorn cattle toughed it out across his range which stretched far north of the main house. Ethan had done well enough for himself that his house was made of stout logs instead of mud, a luxury in this dry land. But after he ...
Nowhere Ch 9 -- A River in the Morning
March 11, 2022 18:15 - 10 minutesJust catching up? Here’s the story so far in ebook and audiobook format If you’re already on board, take a minute to leave a review on Part I on Amazon. — Sheriff John Dance hadn’t slept much. When the night started, they didn’t have any customers, so he sat outside on the porch waiting for the heat to die down. About eleven he took a quick turn around the town. There were few drunks, but everything was quiet enough. Those goddamn cowboys from Burdock’s place weren’t in town, so nobody wa...
Nowhere Ch 8 - A Hole Through Nothing
February 25, 2022 18:51 - 23 minutesThe Apache rode until sunset. Then they rode until sunrise. They felt the wind through their hair and the horses pounding the earth, but all they heard was *the song*. In the beginning, they had thought Goyaate had sung the song and they had only kept pace with it. Then they opened their throats and came to believe that they too sang the song. But after many hours, when exhaustion had stripped away all illusion, they realized that the song was singing all of them, and they were carried by...
Nowhere Ch 7 - The Wager
February 18, 2022 18:15 - 19 minutesThe saloon was a shoddy-looking two story box of building, made from unfinished boards that had not fared well in the desert sun. Above the awning was a sign, painted directly on the wood that read, “Morning Star Saloon. Jethro Earp, Proprietor.” Jethro was happy to tell all the patrons that he was related to the famous law man and saloon-keeper with whom he shared a last name, but in point of fact, Earp was not his real last name. Nor was Jethro his real first name. But other than that, he...
Nowhere Ch 6 - Virgil Gets the Flour
February 11, 2022 18:20 - 17 minutesVirgil got into Bisbee late in the afternoon. Outside of Fetterman’s a drunk cowboy was staggering around the street running his mouth at passer-bys. He was young, dumb and mostly harmless, with spurs set low so they would jingle to announce his swagger. From time to time, his friends would hand him a liquor bottle and egg him on to greater stupidity. Virgil didn’t like him, mostly because he was jealous of carefree youth. He was sure whatever ranch or cattle drive this cowboy had been on ...
A Defense of Writing Longhand
February 09, 2022 16:39 - 7 minutesI wrote this essay 12 years ago. And there are a lot of things that I used to believe that I don’t believe anymore. But the substance of this essay has become more and more true for me with each passing year. Longhand has become the most productive way for me to write. And in the increasing noise and hysteria of our digital age, it has become, for me, a blessing. Once again I find myself about 50,000 words into a substantial work. And now more than ever, I feel that my best drafts are writ...
Nowhere Ch 5 - Welcome to the Morning Star
February 04, 2022 16:36 - 18 minutesArchie rode uphill through the town, towards the elegant, yet out-of-place Victorian house on the hill. When those in the street and on the porches gawked at his unusual appearance he took pleasure in tipping his pith helmet to them. He passed the Morning Star Saloon on his right, and tucked in behind it, found the mine. Convenient for the miners, thought Archie. And if he knew the breed, he doubted they would have any pay left over after drinking. The mine entrance was sunk into an unusu...
Somewhere a Story is Searching for You
February 02, 2022 16:11 - 3 minutesSomewhere, out there, a story is searching for you. It fumbles, faceless through the dark. Unknowable, unformed. Newt pads for hands, it whispers questions in the dreams of people you know. Is this nascent thing a love story, a family drama, a gritty crime thriller? It doesn't know yet, so how can we? At this point, it is not much more than a stubborn collection of related longings. Unless you are very sensitive (or very wise) you probably don't believe that this ur-story is real becau...
Nowhere Ch 4 - Trouble with the Stage
January 28, 2022 22:05 - 22 minutesThe Swing Station was a pile of mud bricks with a thatched roof on the east side of the Mule Mountains. The windows had no glass, only torn curtains that would flutter in their mud sockets on the rare occasions that there was a breeze. But there was no breeze today, and the Bisbee-Grantham station baked in the sun. Give it another hundred years of days like, thought Miguel, and the Bisbee-Grantham station would turn into a proper brick building. The only things that separated the building...
Inspiration
January 27, 2022 01:44 - 1 minuteInspiration… that son-of-a-b***h I’m having a problem with inspiration right now. He’s been ducking me. I mean we have this regular arrangement. He shows up and Inspiration, that son-of-a-b***h, has been ducking me. I know what happened. He got all cracked out on the ideas he was supposed to bring me and now he’s embarrassed. So he ran away. He’s jittering around Times Square circa 1976 clutching a Bendix brake drum in his left hand, trying to pawn it off on tourists as a novelty a...
Nowhere Ch 3 - The Sacred Raid
January 22, 2022 03:09 - 26 minutesHe called them with the same magic that brings the fog in the morning or a thunderstorm on a hot summer afternoon. They came from the reservation. They came from hiding places deep in canyons or high in mountains. They came because he was the War Chief. and before they passed from the world, they wanted to go on one last raid. They were the moisture in the earth or the charge in the sky before a storm. They came because they wanted to be released. At Fort Sill, he was forced to live in a ...
What the Rain Brought
January 20, 2022 00:59 - 6 minutesThe summer was immense. It was so hot that the mud dried in the blasted cracks in the yard as all the crops died. Across the range, cattle moaned as they cropped the dried grass and pawed at the creek bed for water. And still, the sun hammered the earth. Each day they would scan the sky for clouds, and each day this sky was as pure and blue as a tropical ocean. They were drowning in sunshine. Each day the kids would pump water from the well and take a bucket to the garden, trying to save a...
Nowhere Ch 2 - A Stranger Comes to Town
January 15, 2022 01:33 - 23 minutes(Previously: Chapter 1 - A Man Goes on A Journey) The Journal of Archimedes Croryton, July 23rd, 1888 I have been informed that my train has just crossed into Texas and the terrain has already become wilder than I could ever have imagined. The emptiness of these spaces is immense. It seems scarcely possible to me that men could lead their lives here. Not merely from want of sustenance and water, the scope of the landscape itself crushes a man with his own insignificance. In England each ...
The Inescapable Gravity of Barfight Scenes
January 12, 2022 22:29 - 6 minutesIf there was one thing that I wish I knew about writing years ago, it is this: Every story you write comes with obligations. These obligations are driven by expectations. First yours, then the readers. The simple way to say this is “every genre has obligatory scenes.” This is 100% true. If you write a Western (even a transitional, hybrid western like “A Town Called Nowhere”) you are obliged to have a bar fight scene. And a showdown and a bunch of others. Your conflict better involve themes ...
You Are The Creature that Turns Silence into Words
January 05, 2022 18:32 - 2 minutesYou and I are the creatures who turn silence into words. And if you find it at all difficult to know what you should do or say: first ask yourself about the silence. Only when you are still, can the voice inside you be heard. Only the blank page can be filled with words. That’s some zen-sounding b******t. I mean sometimes, when you are still and quiet the only thing that comes to you is a nap. But for sure, the voice cannot be heard while you are watching TikTok. What is this mystic...
Nowhere Ch 1 - A Man Goes on a Journey
January 03, 2022 20:20 - 12 minutesThe team had been hitched to the wagon before dawn, but Virgil still hadn’t left. As Laura Miller folded and sorted the new fabrics for display, she could see the stout draft horses through the front window of the store. They stood, patient as time itself, in the first light of the day. Laura liked this frontier town best in the morning. If she were to walk Grantham’s two streets now, she would undoubtedly see bodies. Almost all of them would be sleeping off a drunk, but one or two might ...
Beowulf and the Dragon: Chapter 7
September 26, 2021 19:00 - 6 minutesThe King paused in the telling. Gripping the sword in his right hand, he rose and threw a few more coals in the brazier with his left. The stable boy, to pretend he wasn’t interested, resumed sharpening his knife. The King returned to his seat and asked the stable boy, “So what happened then, did I kill him? Did the Dragon? Does it matter?” “Yes.” “Yes, what?” “You took your revenge, as I will take mine.” “Did I now? How can you be sure? We haven’t gotten to that part yet.” “You stuck ...
Beowulf and the Dragon: Chapter 6
September 24, 2021 19:00 - 6 minutesThe men panicked and fled. As Beowulf had foretold, not a one went for a spear. Some dived back into the barrow. Others ran up or down the coast. Only the Dragon was not in a hurry. I remember that dread shape against that grey winter sky, flapping lazily as if it had all the time in the world. It wheeled off to the left of us in pursuit of some of the Thanes. Over the hill, I heard the roar of its flames and men screaming. With a calm equal to the Dragon’s, Beowulf strolled down the hill t...
Beowulf and the Dragon Chapter 5
September 19, 2021 19:52 - 6 minutesAt the end of a long, upward march we found an old oak tree on a cliff facing the sea. It was gnarled and had grown at an angle from being blown inland by constant punishment of the sea wind. The base of the trunk was wider than three men could wrap their arms around, while the top of the tree was wispy branches that I could scarce believe could hold their leaves in that wind. But we saw nothing that looked like a barrow. Beowulf asked, “Where?” “A path, down the cliff face,” came the answ...
Beowulf and the Dragon: Chapter 4
September 17, 2021 19:51 - 6 minutesNeither Beowulf nor I slept that night. On his order, I found and woke the Blacksmith and brought him to where the King waited by the forge. Beowulf explained what he wanted. The Blacksmith understood, for it was simple enough, but he protested that the result would be too heavy for a man to lift. In response to this, Beowulf picked up the anvil with one hand and tossed it into the corner. The Blacksmith, his 'prentice and I stared at this with our mouths open. Beowulf said to the Blacksmith...
Beowulf and the Dragon: Chapter 3
September 12, 2021 14:48 - 7 minutesIf you’ve jumped in the middle, here’s Chapter One. After I killed the wolves, Beowulf took a liking to me, as much of a liking as he took to anyone. It became my job to pour Beowulf’s mead. That first night, very drunk, he said to me, “I would make you my squire, were there any more battles to fight.” I remember thinking he was silly for saying this. A foolish old drunk with his glory days behind him. Still, it was with trepidation that I answered, “Does my Lord mean to say that I am no lo...
Beowulf and the Dragon: Chapter 2
September 07, 2021 19:25 - 7 minutesThis is Chapter Two of Beowulf and the Dragon. If you missed it, here’s Chapter One. After I was captured, it was ten years before Beowulf spoke to me again. I would hear him, singing in the mead hall, berating his Thanes even as he showered them with rings. His cries were louder even than the mighty horns that blew when he rode to battle, and he would wake everyone yelling for the gate to open when he came back from a raid. In those days, they would straggle in for hours behind him. I rem...
Beowulf and the Dragon: Chapter One
September 03, 2021 16:52 - 15 minutesAuthor’s Note: This is the first in a seven-episode podcast/serialization of Patrick E. McLean’s new novella. It will be available on Amazon and where ever audiobooks are sold shortly. But in the meantime, if you want the whole thing, you can subscribe and get it all right now. Beowulf and the Dragon CHAPTER ONE Cold. No wind. No hope. The men stood on the walls of the Ringfort, staring down at the fires of the enemy encampments. The smoke rose in unbroken columns, rising and rising and...
How to Outline Any Story
May 12, 2021 22:57 - 10 minutesThere is a lot of advice about how to outline a story on the internet, and almost all of it was it was useless, so I stopped trying to wade through it. Like it's just bad content marketing run amok. So I'm going to give you the most useful ways I know to understand stories. The keys to the kingdom as I understand them. And trust me, not a single one of them is "Use mind mapping software." Let's say you want to understand a story. A book, a movie, graphic novel, TV show, play, series of twee...
How It's Written: Batman
April 05, 2021 23:15 - 25 minutesExplaining how Batman works written is a huge task. There is simply so much Batman. Since the character's creation in 1939 every conceivable tone has been struck with these stories. And if every twist or variation hasn't been tried, well, almost all of them had. You can read a Batman story in an alternate D.C. Universe where Bruce Wayne marries Selena Kyle and has a kid. That's not fanfic, that's a D.C. imprint from the 80's I think. This field has been PLOWED, in comics, film, television...
How It's Written: The Shadow Over Innsmouth
March 04, 2021 22:45 - 22 minutesToday I'm going to take you through Shadow Over Innsmouth. To reveal the techniques that make this story, and cosmic horror, work. It's one of Lovecraft's finest, and the unique way all the elements come together at the end is amazing. It's a thing that you feel when you read it, but I'm not going to settle for feelings. I'm going to show you how it works. Written in 1931, The Shadow over Innsmouth is tied with At the Mountains of Madness for my Favorite Lovecraft story. I think you read th...
How It's Written: Call of Cthuhlu
February 17, 2021 22:11 - 31 minutesToday I'm going to talk about H.P. Lovecraft, an author who is one of the great well-springs of the horror genre. And if you want tl/dr on the horror -- there's Poe then Lovecraft and then everybody else. I'm going to dive deep into two stories, Call of Cthulhu and Shadow Over Innsmouth. Shadow over Innsmouth is one of my favorites, but Cthulhu is really worth thinking about because it sparked the entire Mythos. In a nutshell here is how a Lovecraft story works. * An Investigator seeks...
How It's Written: The Mandalorian
January 26, 2021 01:50 - 33 minutesThis week, I'm trying something a little different. In addition to this essay and podcast, I made a video. It’s part of my ongoing series, “How It’s Written” I’m explaining, in detail, why I think the TV show the Mandalorian is so well-written. And to do that, I delve into the world of the internal story. I think this essay it's more fun as a video, but it totally works as a podcast or an essay. So consume in the form that you find most palatable. Introduction Today on "How It's Written"...
The Persuasive Appeal of Dr. Martin Luther King
January 18, 2021 16:12 - 11 minutesI really like Martin Luther King day as a holiday. It certainly makes more sense to me than President's Day. Washington and Lincoln were tremendous figures in our history, worthy of study and reflection -- but the world that they were part of seems very distant from the times we live in. But Dr. King, he was a man who dealt with problems we face and the forces that must be confronted to change them. Organizational challenges. The staggering inertia of both the Government and the People. T...
Man Plans and God Laughs
December 29, 2020 14:55 - 14 minutes"Man plans and God laughs" is currently, my favorite Yiddish proverb. My second favorite Yiddish proverb is "If Grandma had wheels she would be a wagon." (I just ran into that one searching for the origin of "Man Plans and God laughs") The reason that this is on my mind is that I'm trying to make a plan for 2021. But, honestly, I'm flinching like a hand shy dog over the whole thing. Every time I sit down to give it some thought, I wince and shy away, expecting the next cruel blow of fate...
The War on Santa
December 18, 2020 00:23 - 24 minutes2005 was the first time I ever heard the phrase the War on Christmas. Of course, now the "War on Christmas" has been raging or simmering, depending on your perspective, for years. But not depending on my perspective. The way I saw it then and the way I see it now is that we don't make War on Christmas as much as Christmas makes War on Us. Christmas can be a terribly difficult time of year. Expectations are high, family relations are strained, it's an easy time to feel like a failure and b...
Crazy Psycho Murder Tree Ch. 20 - Topper and Edwin
December 15, 2020 15:21 - 11 minutesThis is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patrickemclean.substack.com
A Year in Reading
December 14, 2020 03:17 - 35 minutesSo what did I read this year? Well, I'm all over the place. But I thought I'd take a moment to hit some of the highlights. These are in no particular order. A Gentleman in Moscow By Amor Towles The best book I read this year is A Gentlemen in Moscow by Amor Towles. It's just a wonderful and wonderfully crafted book. I can't say enough great things about it. It has one of the most beautiful and perfect metaphors involving a wine cellar. I literally put the book down and cursed out loud. I ...
Crazy Psycho Murder Tree Ch. 19 - Confronting the Boggus
December 08, 2020 15:20 - 16 minutesThis is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patrickemclean.substack.com
The Upside of the Apocalypse
December 03, 2020 22:43 - 12 minutesI'm a bit sick of the Apocalypse. And on some level, I think everybody is. It's one of the reasons The Mandalorian is so popular. It's a small, self-contained story. Whatever happens, it's not going to be the end of the universe, no StarKiller Base, no White Walkers, nothing like that. The stakes are a kid's life. And, the soul of a man who refuses to take off his mask. But it's worth asking why apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic stories are so popular? What's the allure of huge, end of the ...
Crazy Psycho Murder Tree Ch. 18 - Raiding the Campus
December 01, 2020 15:19 - 10 minutesThis is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patrickemclean.substack.com
To be listened to on Thanksgiving
November 26, 2020 14:04 - 4 minutesThanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I think it's the only good one we've got left, primarily because it can't effectively commercialized. It's also a holiday devoted to something I consider to be a virtue -- gratitude. Among other things, it's a time to take a moment to enjoy and reflect on what you have. Eat a good meal, spend some time with friends and family, take a nap. It's like the antidote for the worst ills of modernity. Everybody just calm down for second. Christmas comes with ...
What Makes a Great Story?
November 24, 2020 21:14 - 12 minutesThe completely truthful, reasonable, and logical answer is that nobody knows. If people really knew, we would be a lot better at making them. Not just books, but movies, TV shows, plays, really anything that involves narrative art. And we're not. Hollywood bombs all the time with things that everyone expects will be great. Now, you can argue that a lot of those failures are failures because of group-think and creation by committee -- and I sympathize with that view, but auteurs fail all the...
Crazy Psycho Murder Tree Ch. 17 -- The Offer
November 17, 2020 16:30 - 12 minutesThis is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patrickemclean.substack.com