PCL 83: How To Raise Self-Reliant Kids

Lifetime Television’s, “America’s Supernanny,” Dr. Deborah Tillman, talks with host, Kristen Ivy, about the skills parents should nurture in their kids to help foster their self-reliance skills.

The post PCL 83: How To Raise Self-Reliant Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.

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Lifetime Television’s, “America’s Supernanny,” Dr. Deborah Tillman, talks with host, Kristen Ivy, about the skills parents should nurture in their kids to help foster their self-reliance skills.

YOUR CUE




Let your kid lose. When our kids are younger, we think it’s cute to let them win games most of the time. Stop doing this. Your kid needs to know there are times they will win, and times they will lose. When your child loses while you’re around, you can help them process these emotions in a constructive, mature (for their age) way. If they don’t ever lose, they’ll always expect to win, which doesn’t happen in real life.
Let it go. Release the notion that perfection is right around the corner. It’s not. Allow your kids to do the tasks you want them to do on their own one day, even if it’s not done to your standards. They’re practicing, and practicing leads to growth. Allow your kids to be who they are while they’re learning.
Start a gratitude journal. We can think of hundreds of things we’ve done wrong in our lifetimes, but rarely do we celebrate the good things we’ve done. Dr. Tillman suggests parents start a gratitude journal and write down all the things you did well that day. She says when you reflect on the things you do well, you’re bound to repeat them.

EPISODE RECAP

It’s natural for parents to want to protect their children from harm, whether it be from physical, emotional, or relational pain. But too much protection can lead us to raising our kids in the opposite way we truly desire, and if left unchecked, an abundance of protection can cause a lack of self confidence and an inability to handle adversity in our kids.

Dr. Deborah Tillman, a child development and parent educator, and Lifetime’s “America’s Supernanny” has seen countless cases where parents thought they were being a good parent by overly cushioning their children’s fall (even she says she fell victim to this with her now 25-year-old son). She strongly discourages this, in fact, she says parents should let their children fail more. When a child does something on their own, even if they fail, it’s a chance for them to learn and grow.

Now, for the perfectionist parent, this advice will likely cause a mild spasm of some kind—the age-old adage, “If you want something done right, do it yourself,” is a motto most perfectionists live by. Do it to your own detriment, Dr. Tillman warns. Many times, your kids’ growth starts with an inward look at yourself and some self reflection on why you view parenthood the way you do and if that view is indeed what’s best for your child.

Today’s episode is full of helpful—and at times, convicting—advice to help you better parent your child and increase their self reliance. Tune in!

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MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

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QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“Self-reliant kids are responsible, can problem solve, and can independently think.” @DeborahLTillman
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“We can show our children the way, but we must allow them to be who they are created to be.” @DeborahLTillman
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It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” Frederick Douglass
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Time to a child is spelled, “L-O-V-E.”  —@DeborahLTillman
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The post PCL 83: How To Raise Self-Reliant Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.