THIS WEEK: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988), Nightmare Sisters (1988), Leeches! (2003)

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Steve's Chili Recipe

1 1/2-ish lbs ground beef (nothing too lean you weirdo. 80/20 or better. Usually I just grab a prepackaged 80/20 that’s a little over 1 lb)

1/2 lb-ish thick-cut bacon, chopped (about 6 strips but fuck it man go wild if you want)

1 can (15 oz) of each: light red kidney, black, pinto, beans drained. 

1 can (15 oz) fire roasted diced tomatoes with juice

1 small can (6 oz) tomato paste

2 big ass shallots, chopped (you can use 1 regular onion, sweet or red, instead if you’re lame—just don’t use white onion)

1 red bell pepper, chopped (orange is fine too I guess. Just don’t use green)

1 big jalapeño, chopped. (Use a serrano if you need more heat and want people to think you’re interesting)

2 and 1/2 cups beef stock (maybe 3. Keep an eye on your liquid levels and add more if you need it for your desired consistency)

1 T dried oregano

2 T chili powder

2 t cumin

2 t cinnamon 

2 t kosher salt

1 t ground black pepper

1 t smoked paprika

1 t crushed red pepper

2 T Worcestershire sauce (only use Lea & Perrins unless you don’t respect yourself)

1 T minced garlic (you can do more if you want. it’s garlic. Go crazy. No one will question you.)

1 big squirt Siracusa (this is for a little extra flavor, not heat)

brown ground beef. Drain. Dump into chili receptacle. Brown bacon in same pan. Give the chopped veg a quick sauté in the fatty bacon pan. Scrape everything (yes, all those good brown bits too) into your main Chili cooking receptacle. Add everything else and give it a good stir to combine.


How to cook it all:

Stock pot - low heat for a long ass time, cover, stir occasionally

Slow cooker - low for 6 hrs

Instant pot/Pressure cooker - chili setting, 15-20 mins. 19 seems to work well. Vent after and you’re good.


Serve with sour cream, chopped scallions, cilantro, shredded cheddar and cornbread on the side