Okay, so now what?
69 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 8 ratingsI don’t want to exaggerate, but I’m literally dying. Okay… so now what? A little bit mental health and a lot curious, this is the podcast for when it feels like the walls are closing in and you don’t have any badass moves left. But if you hear one more platitude or one more self-help plan, you’ll swear off humanity for good. While I don’t deal in quick fixes, I do ask a few questions, stumble upon occasional insights, and gather quotable geniuses from time to time. Mostly, I think comedians should be therapists and therapists should be comedians. And it might be time to add both to your life—along with a cup of coffee and bag of fries. So grab a snack and join me. Because the walls just fell in. Okay… so now what?
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Episodes
#34 Nothing and everything matters
March 12, 2022 12:00 - 29 minutes - 20 MBIs it selfish to carry on enjoying life while others suffer? In the midst of heartache and news of war, have things like music, art, and fashion become excessive, wasteful, or even absurd? As mentioned in the episode: "Balenciaga's latest show" on CNN Style "I decided I can no longer sacrifice parts of me to that senseless, heartless war of ego." -Demna "‘Fashion doesn’t matter now’: Balenciaga pays tribute to Ukraine’s refugees" in The Guardian You can follow Anna Frymire on Instagram ...
Stubbed toes and other painful things that ruin your day
February 17, 2022 14:00 - 22 minutes - 15.2 MBPain is something we generally avoid because it generally sucks. But what if pain is information? What if it's a data point and indicator versus a problem we should avoid at all costs? Inspired by a pinky toe stub to end all pinky toe stubs and a painful insight from Jerry Seinfeld, this episode is all about pain: why it matters, why it works, and how we can use it to our advantage. As mentioned in the episode: "Pain is knowledge rushing in to fill a gap. When you stub your toe on the foot...
#33 Stubbed toes and other painful things that ruin your day
February 17, 2022 14:00 - 22 minutes - 15.2 MBPain is something we generally avoid because it generally sucks. But what if pain is information? What if it's a data point and indicator versus a problem we should avoid at all costs? Inspired by a pinky toe stub to end all pinky toe stubs and a painful insight from Jerry Seinfeld, this episode is all about pain: why it matters, why it works, and how we can use it to our advantage. As mentioned in the episode: "Pain is knowledge rushing in to fill a gap. When you stub your toe on the foot...
#32 If life feels hopeless, get a pet.
February 10, 2022 12:00 - 14 minutes - 9.71 MBThere's a dozen reasons to get out of bed in the morning, but very few of those reasons feel genuinely important or motivating on a bad day. Unless, of course, one of those reasons is a barking dog or a hungry cat or a rabbit about to chew a tunnel through the living room wall. This episode is an ode to pets— the smelly ones, the slobbery ones, the loud ones, the ones that get us out of bed when life hardly feels like living. As mentioned in the episode: "After Life" season one, episode on...
#31 "Your story keeps changing"
February 03, 2022 08:00 - 38 minutes - 26.6 MBAre victims telling the truth or just adding to their stories as they go along? If they are telling the truth, why are their stories fragmented and why didn't they say something sooner? This episode discusses traumatic memories, the brain's survival mechanisms, and why abuse survivors describe events that are fragmented, confusing, and seemingly unbelievable. As mentioned in the episode: “You’re not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your tru...
Season 2 Trailer
January 27, 2022 21:00 - 2 minutes - 1.58 MBSeason 2 starts Thursday, February 3rd, bright and early in the morning (7:00 a.m. EST)! Thanks for listening. You can find Anna Frymire on Instagram @frylikefrenchfry Or reach out at annafrymire.com
#30 Have you considered telling people about your mental breakdown?
January 01, 2022 04:00 - 18 minutes - 12.9 MBIf 2020 was the year I learned to go out and find help, then 2021 was the year I learned just how much that mattered. Facing our pain, trauma, and grief is like thawing out: deeply painful, but so much better than a lifetime of numbness. As mentioned in the episode: "Sometimes the circumstances at hand force us to be braver than we actually are, and so we knock on doors and ask for assistance. Sometimes not having any idea where we’re going works out better than we could possibly have imag...
Episode 29: Today In My Eyes
December 25, 2021 03:00 - 16 minutes - 11.7 MBAs the holiday season rises and falls, so does our anticipation, happiness, and disappointment. This can be a simultaneously beautiful and lonely time of year. Inspired by Truman Capote's "A Christmas Memory", this episode is a simple reflection on peace and joy in the absence of luxury and the midst of hardship.
#29 Today In My Eyes
December 25, 2021 03:00 - 16 minutes - 11.7 MBAs the holiday season rises and falls, so does our anticipation, happiness, and disappointment. This can be a simultaneously beautiful and lonely time of year. Inspired by Truman Capote's "A Christmas Memory", this episode is a simple reflection on peace and joy in the absence of luxury and the midst of hardship.
#28 Keep making plans
December 18, 2021 03:00 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBAnticipating fun— from life's big events to small joys— decreases our stress, increases our happiness, and improves our resilience. But is getting excited over upcoming events even worth it in a time of constant cancellations? This episode explores the science behind anticipation and why making plans is still totally worth it. As mentioned in the episode: "The impact of anticipating positive events on responses to stress" by Samuel S. Monfort, Hannah E. Stroup, and Christian E. Waugh
Episode 28: Keep making plans
December 18, 2021 03:00 - 19 minutes - 13.3 MBAnticipating fun— from life's big events to small joys— decreases our stress, increases our happiness, and improves our resilience. But is getting excited over upcoming events even worth it in a time of constant cancellations? This episode explores the science behind anticipation and why making plans is still totally worth it. As mentioned in the episode: "The impact of anticipating positive events on responses to stress" by Samuel S. Monfort, Hannah E. Stroup, and Christian E. Waugh
#27 If truth had no consequences
December 10, 2021 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBWhat if you could say exactly how you feel, no holds barred, without the risk of repercussions? This is the episode about truth, how we repress it, why we repackage it, and what we can do to finally set our hurt, anger, and grief free.
Episode 27: If truth had no consequences
December 10, 2021 12:00 - 16 minutes - 11.3 MBWhat if you could say exactly how you feel, no holds barred, without the risk of repercussions? This is the episode about truth, how we repress it, why we repackage it, and what we can do to finally set our hurt, anger, and grief free.
Episode 26: Out the Door
December 03, 2021 21:00 - 34 minutes - 23.7 MBThis is the episode all about social anxiety: what it is, what it isn't, and how to manage it. Maybe you're a "shy-loud" person who shines on the stage, but avoids intimate dinners. Perhaps you're a CEO who loves work meetings, but dreads the parties. Maybe family and friends are the one place you let down-- or the one place you feel like a failure. At least 40 million Americans report that they experience social anxiety. It has nothing to do with being an introvert versus an extrovert. Want...
#26 Out the Door
December 03, 2021 21:00 - 34 minutes - 23.7 MBThis is the episode all about social anxiety: what it is, what it isn't, and how to manage it. Maybe you're a "shy-loud" person who shines on the stage, but avoids intimate dinners. Perhaps you're a CEO who loves work meetings, but dreads the parties. Maybe family and friends are the one place you let down-- or the one place you feel like a failure. At least 40 million Americans report that they experience social anxiety. It has nothing to do with being an introvert versus an extrovert. Want...
Episode 25: The Season of Receiving
November 20, 2021 19:00 - 18 minutes - 12.7 MBReceiving love sounds simple enough, but it's actually kind of awkward. When someone gives us something― whether it be food, presents, or love― accepting might compel us to give back quickly or to at least write our obligatory seasonal gratitude list. But what if receiving, without obligation or quick reciprocation, actually makes us better givers? As mentioned in the episode: “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” -Zora Neale Hurston
#25 The Season of Receiving
November 20, 2021 19:00 - 18 minutes - 12.7 MBReceiving love sounds simple enough, but it's actually kind of awkward. When someone gives us something― whether it be food, presents, or love― accepting might compel us to give back quickly or to at least write our obligatory seasonal gratitude list. But what if receiving, without obligation or quick reciprocation, actually makes us better givers? As mentioned in the episode: “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” -Zora Neale Hurston
It might be time to accept help with the laundry
November 13, 2021 04:00 - 20 minutes - 14.1 MBAccepting help is quite possibly one of life's toughest experiences. And asking for help is even harder. But at the end of the day, we all need support in big, small, and meaningful ways. In fact, we probably needed the support long before the end of the day. So why do we wait until we're desperate? As mentioned in the episode: "The Boyfriend" on Seinfeld , Season 3
#24 It might be time to accept help with the laundry
November 13, 2021 04:00 - 20 minutes - 14.1 MBAccepting help is quite possibly one of life's toughest experiences. And asking for help is even harder. But at the end of the day, we all need support in big, small, and meaningful ways. In fact, we probably needed the support long before the end of the day. So why do we wait until we're desperate? As mentioned in the episode: "The Boyfriend" on Seinfeld , Season 3
#23 The Confidence in Creativity
November 05, 2021 11:00 - 24 minutes - 16.9 MBThere's no such thing as a "non-creative" person. And yet, too many of us believe that the creative things we love or the goals we most want to achieve just might not be for us. This episode is for all of us with interests, aspirations, and dreams we don't plan to pursue because we fear the judgement, remember the critical comment from years ago, or doubt the point in even starting. As mentioned in the episode: “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” -Sylvia Plath "Reclaim Your Cr...
The Confidence in Creativity
November 05, 2021 11:00 - 24 minutes - 16.9 MBThere's no such thing as a "non-creative" person. And yet, too many of us believe that the creative things we love or the goals we most want to achieve just might not be for us. This episode is for all of us with interests, aspirations, and dreams we don't plan to pursue because we fear the judgement, remember the critical comment from years ago, or doubt the point in even starting. As mentioned in the episode: “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” -Sylvia Plath "Reclaim Your Cr...
Formidable Fridays: Chronic Exhaustion
October 22, 2021 23:00 - 38 minutes - 26.5 MBThis episode is for everyone who feels straight up exhausted, even after a full night's rest. Nearly two years of global high stress and a lifetime of sensory overload has left many of us feeling depleted and searching for life's spark of enthusiasm and clarity. In this episode, Anna dives into exhaustion, fatigue, and the difference between sleep, relaxation, and rest. As mentioned in the podcast: "The 7 types of rest that every person needs" by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith Dr. Andrew Huberm...
#22 Formidable Fridays: Chronic Exhaustion
October 22, 2021 23:00 - 38 minutes - 26.5 MBThis episode is for everyone who feels straight up exhausted, even after a full night's rest. Nearly two years of global high stress and a lifetime of sensory overload has left many of us feeling depleted and searching for life's spark of enthusiasm and clarity. In this episode, Anna dives into exhaustion, fatigue, and the difference between sleep, relaxation, and rest. As mentioned in the podcast: "The 7 types of rest that every person needs" by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith Dr. Andrew Huberm...
#21 What does fake abuse look like?
October 09, 2021 00:00 - 39 minutes - 27.2 MBWhat does fake abuse look like? Or does it even exist? Emotional abuse might not leave a mark, but it certainly injures. Society generally agrees that physically abusing someone is wrong and that it can be classified as domestic violence. But what about constantly criticizing someone, making them the subject of jokes, or blocking their access to finances, transportation, or friendship? Emotional abuse can be a taboo topic in a world that suggests: no bruise means no risk. In this episode, I...
What does fake abuse look like?
October 09, 2021 00:00 - 39 minutes - 27.2 MBWhat does fake abuse look like? Or does it even exist? Emotional abuse might not leave a mark, but it certainly injures. Society generally agrees that physically abusing someone is wrong and that it can be classified as domestic violence. But what about constantly criticizing someone, making them the subject of jokes, or blocking their access to finances, transportation, or friendship? Emotional abuse can be a taboo topic in a world that suggests: no bruise means no risk. In this episode, I...
#20 Lost on your way home
October 02, 2021 00:00 - 25 minutes - 17.5 MBEach of us is living a story. Perhaps we're disappointed with this story or bored by it or even disgusted by it. Or perhaps we're deeply satisfied with our life story, but afraid one wrong move and it'll all be snatched away. Life's not linear, despite our attachment to timelines and our obsession with meeting certain markers in our life before we allow ourselves to feel accomplished or meaningful. Our lives are found in the "stories between stories". Inspired by a quote from author Deena Me...
Lost on your way home
October 02, 2021 00:00 - 25 minutes - 17.5 MBEach of us is living a story. Perhaps we're disappointed with this story or bored by it or even disgusted by it. Or perhaps we're deeply satisfied with our life story, but afraid one wrong move and it'll all be snatched away. Life's not linear, despite our attachment to timelines and our obsession with meeting certain markers in our life before we allow ourselves to feel accomplished or meaningful. Our lives are found in the "stories between stories". Inspired by a quote from author Deena Me...
#19 Formidable Fridays: Loneliness
September 25, 2021 00:00 - 38 minutes - 26.2 MBThis is the third episode in the "Formidable Fridays" series where we explore the difficult topic of loneliness. Each of us will experience profound loneliness at some point in our lives. The weight of it can feel stifling and the shame of it, silencing. Historians, anthropologists, and scientists have studied loneliness and it's causes for thousands of years. It's a pain we all share, especially post-pandemic as we navigate new social structures and expectations. But is there a practical an...
Formidable Fridays: Loneliness
September 25, 2021 00:00 - 38 minutes - 26.2 MBThis is the third episode in the "Formidable Fridays" series where we explore the difficult topic of loneliness. Each of us will experience profound loneliness at some point in our lives. The weight of it can feel stifling and the shame of it, silencing. Historians, anthropologists, and scientists have studied loneliness and it's causes for thousands of years. It's a pain we all share, especially post-pandemic as we navigate new social structures and expectations. But is there a practical an...
#18 Head of a Woman
September 10, 2021 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18.3 MB"Head of a Woman" is a 17th century portrait of a peasant woman in Rome. She has no teeth. She's looking down. She's aged and sad, but peaceful too. None of us know her name, where she came from, or why she sat for a portrait when peasants weren't the subjects of paintings. But hundreds of years later, we know her face and we admire her. We're all a little like the "Head of a Woman": people moving through life profoundly influencing the people around us, whether we realize it or not. Septem...
Head of a Woman
September 10, 2021 09:00 - 26 minutes - 18.3 MB"Head of a Woman" is a 17th century portrait of a peasant woman in Rome. She has no teeth. She's looking down. She's aged and sad, but peaceful too. None of us know her name, where she came from, or why she sat for a portrait when peasants weren't the subjects of paintings. But hundreds of years later, we know her face and we admire her. We're all a little like the "Head of a Woman": people moving through life profoundly influencing the people around us, whether we realize it or not. Septem...
#17 Have you considered having a panic attack?
August 27, 2021 20:00 - 27 minutes - 18.6 MBPanic attacks—gotta’ love ‘em! You’re sitting through your Tuesday morning meeting when, suddenly, you're unable to steady your hand, read your notes, or find oxygen. You're dying in the corner while your coworkers blandly sip their coffee. Panic attacks rarely look or feel the way we expect, but for a brief window in time, the walls close in and we're left asking, "Okay, so now what?" Sometimes the fear of future panic attacks becomes just as bad as the panic attacks themselves. But these ...
Have you considered having a panic attack?
August 27, 2021 20:00 - 27 minutes - 18.6 MBPanic attacks—gotta’ love ‘em! You’re sitting through your Tuesday morning meeting when, suddenly, you're unable to steady your hand, read your notes, or find oxygen. You're dying in the corner while your coworkers blandly sip their coffee. Panic attacks rarely look or feel the way we expect, but for a brief window in time, the walls close in and we're left asking, "Okay, so now what?" Sometimes the fear of future panic attacks becomes just as bad as the panic attacks themselves. But these ...
#16 Formidable Fridays: Nihilism and Existential Dread
August 20, 2021 16:00 - 28 minutes - 19.7 MBLooking for a sunny start to your weekend? This isn't it. Nihilism and Existential Dread have cast their abysmal shadows across humanity for centuries. But is it all hopeless? What is meaning and how do we define it, find it, and understand it? At some point in our lives, we all experience an existential crisis which is, at it's root, an identity crisis and awful sense of hopelessness. But I think there's reason to hope. And I think the existential Russian novelists may be a bit more optimis...
Formidable Fridays: Nihilism and Existential Dread
August 20, 2021 16:00 - 28 minutes - 19.7 MBLooking for a sunny start to your weekend? This isn't it. Nihilism and Existential Dread have cast their abysmal shadows across humanity for centuries. But is it all hopeless? What is meaning and how do we define it, find it, and understand it? At some point in our lives, we all experience an existential crisis which is, at it's root, an identity crisis and awful sense of hopelessness. But I think there's reason to hope. And I think the existential Russian novelists may be a bit more optimis...
Is skin-picking the unbreakable obsession?
August 13, 2021 03:00 - 33 minutes - 22.9 MBSkin-picking goes by a dozen names and can be the fallout of a dozen disorders. But at the end of the day, it's an anxious addiction that feels like an unbreakable obsession. As a fifteen-year skin-picking veteran, I have a few thoughts on the terrifying clinical terms and the petrifying fear that this is the one gross habit I'll never break. As mentioned in the episode: skinpick.com "Picking your skin? Learn four tips to break the habit" on Harvard Health Blog
#15 Is skin-picking the unbreakable obsession?
August 13, 2021 03:00 - 33 minutes - 22.9 MBSkin-picking goes by a dozen names and can be the fallout of a dozen disorders. But at the end of the day, it's an anxious addiction that feels like an unbreakable obsession. As a fifteen-year skin-picking veteran, I have a few thoughts on the terrifying clinical terms and the petrifying fear that this is the one gross habit I'll never break. As mentioned in the episode: skinpick.com "Picking your skin? Learn four tips to break the habit" on Harvard Health Blog
#14 Run like it's the Olympics
August 06, 2021 18:00 - 32 minutes - 22.2 MBWomen's track and field might just be the most incredible thing on TV right now. Running is a deeply spiritual endeavor and darn it if these women aren't some of the most inspiring humans on the planet. If you're feeling like a blah-blah spectator to life or perhaps you just missed this last week's Olympic highlights, here's a little somethin' somethin' to get you back on your feet. (Your physical feet and your metaphorical feet.) At the very least, you'll be race-walking your way through l...
Run like it's the Olympics
August 06, 2021 18:00 - 32 minutes - 22.2 MBWomen's track and field might just be the most incredible thing on TV right now. Running is a deeply spiritual endeavor and darn it if these women aren't some of the most inspiring humans on the planet. If you're feeling like a blah-blah spectator to life or perhaps you just missed this last week's Olympic highlights, here's a little somethin' somethin' to get you back on your feet. (Your physical feet and your metaphorical feet.) At the very least, you'll be race-walking your way through l...
#13 Where are we at in the wild?
July 30, 2021 04:00 - 27 minutes - 18.8 MBGetting outdoors is beautiful, but getting into the wild is something all together different. Our souls and our brains need the wild on a fundamental, biological level. And the wild might just need us too. As mentioned in the episode: "Into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul." -John Muir "Understanding Nature and Its Cognitive Benefits" by Kathryn E. Schertz and Marc G. Berman "Nurtured by Nature" by Kirsten Weir "You go into that water and it’s extremely liberating. All y...
Where are we at in the wild?
July 30, 2021 04:00 - 27 minutes - 18.8 MBGetting outdoors is beautiful, but getting into the wild is something all together different. Our souls and our brains need the wild on a fundamental, biological level. And the wild might just need us too. As mentioned in the episode: "Into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul." -John Muir "Understanding Nature and Its Cognitive Benefits" by Kathryn E. Schertz and Marc G. Berman "Nurtured by Nature" by Kirsten Weir "You go into that water and it’s extremely liberating. All y...
#12 Formidable Fridays: A General Sense of Overwhelm
July 24, 2021 01:00 - 24 minutes - 16.7 MBIt's our first Formidable Friday and we're dealing with a general sense of overwhelm. Here on "Okay, so now what?" we don't deal in self-help plans. We do, however, explore some unconventional tips and tricks that may help with anxiety and the impending doom of a crazy week/weekend. For instance, procrastination productivity is totally a thing and you should try it. Also, distraction and snacks spark genius. But why read this description. All the good stuff is in the episode! As mentioned i...
Formidable Fridays: A General Sense of Overwhelm
July 24, 2021 01:00 - 24 minutes - 16.7 MBIt's our first Formidable Friday and we're dealing with a general sense of overwhelm. Here on "Okay, so now what?" we don't deal in self-help plans. We do, however, explore some unconventional tips and tricks that may help with anxiety and the impending doom of a crazy week/weekend. For instance, procrastination productivity is totally a thing and you should try it. Also, distraction and snacks spark genius. But why read this description. All the good stuff is in the episode! As mentioned i...
Formidable Fridays and a General Sense of Overwhelm
July 24, 2021 01:00 - 24 minutes - 16.7 MBIt's our first Formidable Friday and we're dealing with a general sense of overwhelm. Here on "Okay, so now what?" we don't deal in self-help plans. We do, however, explore some unconventional tips and tricks that may help with anxiety and the impending doom of a crazy week/weekend. For instance, procrastination productivity is totally a thing and you should try it. Also, distraction and snacks spark genius. But why read this description. All the good stuff is in the episode! As mentioned i...
#11 French Fries and The Science of Generosity
July 16, 2021 23:00 - 31 minutes - 21.8 MBThe Universal Fry-Sharing Policy would indicate that French Fry sharing is not only socially expected, but benefits both parties and society at large. After all, what kind of fry-monger doesn't spare a fry for a friend? So you've decided to share your fries with your friends. But what about generosity in general. Who's more generous: the poor or the wealthy? Why do people share and is there a correlation between generosity and happiness? This episode is all about the social, psychological, ...
French Fries and The Science of Generosity
July 16, 2021 23:00 - 31 minutes - 21.8 MBThe Universal Fry-Sharing Policy would indicate that French Fry sharing is not only socially expected, but benefits both parties and society at large. After all, what kind of fry-monger doesn't spare a fry for a friend? So you've decided to share your fries with your friends. But what about generosity in general. Who's more generous: the poor or the wealthy? Why do people share and is there a correlation between generosity and happiness? This episode is all about the social, psychological, ...
#10 That guy really likes cars
July 09, 2021 02:00 - 42 minutes - 29.4 MBWhy do some people get excited about very ordinary things? How can I be excited about my very ordinary life? Recently I stumbled across this guy who really likes cars. His name is Doug DeMuro and he has 4 million YouTube subscribers, but that hasn't stopped him from creating videos in his t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers with basic camera skills and no scripting whatsoever. But he really likes cars and his enthusiasm is contagious. Doug's enthusiasm got me thinking about the intersection betwee...
That guy really likes cars
July 09, 2021 02:00 - 42 minutes - 29.4 MBWhy do some people get excited about very ordinary things? How can I be excited about my very ordinary life? Recently I stumbled across this guy who really likes cars. His name is Doug DeMuro and he has 4 million YouTube subscribers, but that hasn't stopped him from creating videos in his t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers with basic camera skills and no scripting whatsoever. But he really likes cars and his enthusiasm is contagious. Doug's enthusiasm got me thinking about the intersection betwee...
Upcycle your disasters
July 01, 2021 18:00 - 21 minutes - 15.1 MBWhether you're chasing disaster or disaster's chasing you, there's an opportunity to upcycle. Sometimes our greatest setbacks become our best assets. This episode is for all of us feeling deflated by our failures and wondering what the heck to do now. As mentioned in the episode: "I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." -Maya Angelou (This quote might be a popular misquote of, "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not ...
#9 Upcycle your disasters
July 01, 2021 18:00 - 21 minutes - 15.1 MBWhether you're chasing disaster or disaster's chasing you, there's an opportunity to upcycle. Sometimes our greatest setbacks become our best assets. This episode is for all of us feeling deflated by our failures and wondering what the heck to do now. As mentioned in the episode: "I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." -Maya Angelou (This quote might be a popular misquote of, "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not ...