Jake Yapp presents: Not Today, Thank You

Meet the Professor

January 19, 2024 14:57 - 13 minutes - 30 MB

In which I finally actually figure out a format for the Unread Book Club... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Febrezing Your Dad

January 05, 2024 22:20 - 22 minutes - 50.6 MB

A post-festive catchup on stuff, and the launch of two new fun talking points. Also some music I've been doing lately and er. Well. There's no skirting round it. A Quick Chat - can we have a Quick Chat? - about Gregg Wallace... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bloodthirsty Picnic

November 02, 2023 14:03 - 21 minutes - 50 MB

Today! Never heard before* Dora Dale from 2007! Movie trailers courtesy of listener Pat! Music with a Very Slow Crescendo! Berlusconi's Art! Also, can we have a quick show of hands... Are you a Fast Eater or a Slow Eater? Email jakeyappmusic at gmail dot com xxx *Apart from about 60% of the jokes which were repurposed, and not for the first time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's All Gone A Bit Seventies

October 26, 2023 21:59 - 19 minutes - 45.6 MB

Srsly. The music. And definitely the jokes. What I WILL say, is that if you buy a bed, it should, like, actually function as a bed. You shouldn't have to go back and buy an extra bit, separately, without being told, without which the bed will not function as a bed. You don't go and buy a car, only to be told ohhh if you needed the chassis, that'll be an extra twenty quid. It feels like a shakedown. And another thing, ladies and gentlemen, what about them new ten pees? I made a video of the ...

I Have No Idea What You Did Last Summer

October 20, 2023 11:01 - 12 minutes - 28 MB

...And that's a PITY. So do tell. The new email address is jakeyappmusic at gmail dot com. I don't know why I'm typing that address all CRYPTIC, like. I'd welcome spam at this point. Oh! I meant to tell you on the podcast, I did a really lovely radio show with Bibi Lynch, in front of an audience. If you want to listen, it's the second half of this: https://www.totallyradio.com/shows/bibi-does-brighton/episodes/bibi-does-brighton-05-oct-23 Anyway. DO get in touch. Any requests? I need a bri...

Not With A Bang But A Hamper

December 17, 2022 23:43 - 28 minutes - 65.8 MB

In the last of the series, Molly Elwood joins me to share the love, with some of the best food I have ever tasted. I'll be on jackfm.co.uk 9am-12pm every weekday from the 19th December, and LIVE on BBC Radio 4 Extra every weekday evening in January, 7-10pm for Jake Yapp's Unwinding. Stay in touch, and have a good festive season xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Victor Lewis-Smith

December 13, 2022 12:55 - 22 minutes - 51.1 MB

Some memories of one of the great innovators of radio comedy, Victor Lewis-Smith. Rest in peace, you brilliant bastard. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Two Per Cent Salt

December 05, 2022 11:04 - 14 minutes - 33 MB

That's all I'm saying. Chuck in all the firm veg you want - cabbage, carrot, maybe a little chilli, ginger, garlic, it's all optional - and add two per cent salt, by weight. At least. If you're nervous, go three per cent. And scrunch it in well and pack it tight into the jar. Leave it out of your fridge for a few days, depending on how warm your kitchen is, then move them to the fridge. And burp the jars. For god's sake. No-one needs cabbagey shrapnel. Anyway. We explored some mildly fraug...

What is the Meaning of The Line

November 30, 2022 17:16 - 10 minutes - 23.7 MB

Sort of blew it. Oh well. Helluva run, guys. Helluva run. I'd tell you I love you, but it feels a bit manipulative, you know? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All I Want For Christmas Is Shoes

November 28, 2022 19:18 - 10 minutes - 25 MB

Did this episode not upload? It bloody didn't, did it? FFS. Well, there's no point crying about it now. Here it is. I'd say it's late, but we promised each other this'd be a no-strings thing, didn't we? I just feel very connected to you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Make Your Own Damn Cheese

November 25, 2022 11:53 - 33 minutes - 76.4 MB

BIG NEWS TO SHARE unless you heard today's AudioFreqs podcast, in which case erm carry on. Also, Mic Wright - go read him at brokenbottleboy.substack.com xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Man Cries Over Sausage

November 23, 2022 14:11 - 17 minutes - 39.6 MB

Lots of music today! Here's a link to the article on key changes: https://tedium.co/2022/11/09/the-death-of-the-key-change/ And erm yes, if you fancy being a philanthropist and hem hem benefactor of The Arts hem hem (listen to the ep first) the paypal address is [email protected] hem hem how vulgar I never discuss money etc. xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What Do You Get for a RED Card?

November 21, 2022 13:07 - 8 minutes - 20.3 MB

Good Monday to you. In today's show: Amol Rajan knocks it out of the park. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Musky Melons

November 18, 2022 09:08 - 7 minutes - 17.9 MB

Featuring a motivational speech and more business about K*vin the C*rrot. MUST DASH OK LOVE YOU Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Middle-Aged Wins

November 16, 2022 12:28 - 27 minutes - 62.9 MB

Today! Hyper-local news, wonderful Champagne news (I really wasn't kidding when I said you literally cannot buy a pitchfork on Amazon) AND a new round of Celebrity Soup of the Day. I SWEAR to GOD I am going to make this game a cult hit. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tiguan, hamie

November 15, 2022 12:44 - 11 minutes - 27.5 MB

Today! Whatever day that may be! Burglar alarms, retro Christmas tat, and putting things inside other things lol animals idk. Right. Off I go. HUGS xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No Harmin' Lucan

November 11, 2022 11:15 - 36 minutes - 83.8 MB

Today! Mic Wright on Lord Lucan and AI bias. And some nice music. And bits and a rant about the Nanny State and such. Oh, I'll be doing some cooking in a bit on youtube.com/jakjeyapp if you fancy it. And have a rummage through Mic's magnificent back catalogue at brokenbottleboy.substack.com. Bon weekend! xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'Happy Monday to you' ffs

November 09, 2022 11:35 - 15 minutes - 34.4 MB

All over the shop this week. I thought it was Monday. What on earth. ANYWAY. I have a stirring clip of SIR Gavin Williamson you may not have heard, plus more on Melon Musk, Hot Greys, and why everything's better in Italian. HAPPY WEDNESDAY TO YOU ffs Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greys Anathema

November 07, 2022 11:47 - 15 minutes - 34.4 MB

Today! The return of several old friends. Um a strongish word crops up pretty sharpish. Just FYI. And we look forward to the uncomplicated fun of the Qatar World Cup. Plus more Theme Park Ideas, Immersive Experiences, and your Favourite Celebrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guinea Pigs

November 04, 2022 11:53 - 35 minutes - 80.7 MB

Mic Wright Returns! He's a bit sweary. Just a heads up. Also! We play a new game and it Sort Of Works! Plus cheap theme parks and political tyrant pet novelties xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Truss Fund Bunnies

November 02, 2022 12:12 - 12 minutes - 29.6 MB

TODAY: More on the Blue Tick, Truss' legacy, the death of much-loathed technology and a NEW THEME PARK is opening and WOW, they spent nearly £200 on the movie franchise tie-in license! Back on Friday with Mic Wright, all being well x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh HELLO

November 01, 2022 12:18 - 5 minutes - 11.9 MB

CRUMBS I thought I'd have a go for a bit. No pressure. Are you still here? It's [email protected]. How have you been? What have I missed? I'll be doing two or three of these a week between now and Christmas, if you're up for it...? xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Le Queem Is Dead

September 08, 2022 19:00 - 6 minutes - 15.1 MB

Marking the day HRFH The Queen died. It might not be quite what you expect. Hope you're ok. xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's War!

February 24, 2022 12:40 - 11 minutes - 27 MB

HELLO FRIEND. Thought I'd say hi, what with the world ending and all that. Thinking of you. Hope you're doing ok. Have you tried Audio Freqs yet? It is where the podcast party's at nowadays, with me and Davey, and buckets of hot audio slop for your delight and disgust. Anyway. Say hello on social media - I've been missing you xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What I Did Before The Holidays

December 11, 2021 15:37 - 16 minutes - 36.7 MB

Oh HELLO THERE! Thought I'd update you with some of the stuff I've been getting up to since last we met. It includes some pretty new music, some seasonal Fanny Cradock, and a thoroughly-stuffed Jon Holmes. I'm off to finish my Jools Holland parody - a house-bound hootenanny for Radio 4 Extra on New Year's Eve BUT: I am hosting Comedy Club on Radio 4 Extra this week, starting tonight at 10pm. Come and listen! It's a GREAT WAY to floss. xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more i...

We Interrupt This Programme...

November 21, 2021 10:42 - 4 minutes - 9.85 MB

Hello! This is an unscheduled announcement about the podcast... xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Two.

November 15, 2021 10:49 - 38 minutes - 87 MB

Mic Wright stops by and obligingly lets me do jokes about dogs saying sausages. His newsletter is at brokenbottleboy.substack.com. And it is the podcast's second birthday! Amazing. I assumed I'd be dead by now. On Wednesday, I'll be releasing all the 'music' from the series on Spotify, iTunes, YouTube and Google and stuff, free to stream. There's already last year's album on there, if you haven't checked it out, plus all the music from the TV show The Hurting. Go play! xx Hosted on Acast. S...

It's A Bit Like Jesus, Isn't It?

November 08, 2021 10:36 - 31 minutes - 73 MB

Mic Wright takes a sideways look at the sillier side of the papers (I really hope he reads this, but he almost certainly won't) and Jon Holmes turns my bowels to ice. Thanks, Jon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Appley Within

November 01, 2021 11:37 - 19 minutes - 21.8 MB

COP26! Yeah! And Mic Wright with a particularly distressing illumination of Giles Coren's filthiest passage. You have been warned. Red his brilliant newsletter at brokenbottleboy.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

That's Life! With Mic Wright

October 18, 2021 09:36 - 30 minutes - 69.8 MB

LAUGHS GALORE as we discuss the appalling news of the week, and the appalling reaction to it in the press. Read Mic's (very funny) newsletter for free here: brokenbottleboy.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Game Saves with Bibi Lucille

October 11, 2021 10:09 - 54 minutes - 125 MB

The return of a popular feature. Also, Mic Wright on the Mr Men version of history deployed by Blitz-Spirit-Invoking columnists, and a charming essay on American Christmasses from a listener in the states. Don't forget to subscribe to Mic's free newsletter at brokenbottleboy.substack.com, also check out tinyurl.com/audiofreqs for our new cousin podcast, and BOOK TICKETS at www.meatcute.org. See you next week! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Keir Royale

October 04, 2021 09:53 - 38 minutes - 89 MB

Mic Wright talks about Keir Starmer's busy week. And pigs. And Jon Holmes talks about something, but tbh I've already blocked it out because it's just too frightening. Don't forget to check out the spin-off podcast: Audio Freqs! Me and Cousin Davey are still Doing Our Thing over there, and it's GREAT! Go and subscribe, will you? Thanks! xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let's Saturday Like It's Monday

September 27, 2021 09:42 - 31 minutes - 71.6 MB

Mic Wright dissects the new Guardian supplement, Saturday, and Jon Holmes is VERY controversial for VERY coins. Subscribe to Mic's superb newsletter at brokenbottleboy.substack.com. Have a good week! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jake Yapp presents: Not Today, Thank You

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