Not By Chance Podcast

Mastering Negotiation and Intentionality with Gen Z

Ever feel like you're walking a tightrope when it comes to parenting teens? Get ready to transform that precarious walk into a confident stride as Dr. Tim Thane and I explore the art of intentional parenting. Discover how to turn your home into a hub of negotiation savvy, where business smarts meet family hearts, providing a solid foundation for both personal growth and career success. In a lively discussion with Dr. Thane, we uncover the nuances of co-parenting during the rollercoaster tee...

Brainstorm, Categorize, Trust: The New Teen Requests Approval Method

Ever wish granting your teenager's requests wasn't such a minefield? We're here to guide you through an innovative approach that starts with your teen, enabling them to brainstorm their wishes, categorize their timeframes, and understand their trustworthiness from your perspective. In this episode, we also challenge you to consider how to handle requests that defy family values, and how to encourage your teen's dreams while maintaining boundaries. It's a radical shift, but worth the journey....

10 Years of Not By Chance, the Book: More Important Today Than A Decade Ago

In this episode Tim and Roxanne celebrate 10 years of the influential book “Not By Chance.” They discuss the initial struggles of publishing the book and why they did it in the first place.  Ever wondered how a book could redefine an entire field? “Not By Chance” did just that. Discover how it transformed teen treatment by reinstating parents as the primary focus, shifting from program-centric to family-centric approaches. You'll hear about one impactful parent, how the book helped families...

Developing Leadership: Navigating the Challenges of a Parental Hierarchy

What if there were a way to lead your family with intention, navigating the complex dynamics of the parent-child relationship, and ultimately building a resilient bond with your teenagers? As a single parent or a member of a two-parent family, you might be seeking guidance to balance hard work and recreation, or perhaps you're embarking on the challenging journey of parenting a teenager. This episode is for you.  Today, we shed light on the importance of a parental hierarchy, exploring its ...

From Eggshells to Empowerment: The Journey Towards Proactive Parenting

Imagine holding all the keys to unlock the full potential in your children. The truth is, you do! We're here to guide you on harnessing your inherent power as a parent, an indispensable force that shapes your family's success journey and happiness. In this episode, we navigate the essence of intentional parenting, the incredible influence you have, and how to step up as the indisputable agent of change in your teen's life. We delve deeper, challenging you to understand the significance of p...

Steering the Ship: The Transformative Power of Intentional Parenting

Navigating the ever-evolving landscape of parenting can feel like braving stormy seas without a compass. Promising to be that guiding light, today's podcast explores the concept of intentional parenting, and how it can be the anchor amidst the turbulent waves of everyday challenges. Through the lens of personal experiences and community influences, we'll uncover how my parents, though unaware, were pioneers of this approach, and how crucial it has become in this fast-paced era. Embarking on...

Unraveling Parenthood: Breaking the Chains of Destructive Cycles

Do you ever feel trapped in the cycle of "good cop, bad cop" with your partner when it comes to parenting? Have you wondered how the echoes of your own upbringing have shaped the way you parent? Tag along with us as we navigate these intricate dynamics. In the authenticity of sharing my personal journey as a newlywed, you'll find an enlightening take on how I broke a destructive cycle before it could take root.  Unraveling the intricacies of harmful cycles that breed confusion, we illuminat...

The Healthy Results of the Controversial Authoritative Parenting

The trends around parenting swing like a pendulum from authoritarian to permissive. Instinctively we know either extremes isn't ideal, but we may not know the literature around it. Studies show that authoritative parenting produces the healthiest outcomes in teens. Authoritative can be found in between the two extremes but leaning more towards authority than permissive.  We all yearn for a harmonious family environment, but have you ever thought about the role hierarchy plays in achieving t...

Hillary Weeks: "Keep Going" Musics Ability To Heal

Hilary Weeks, a top 10 Christian Billboard singer, connects with her audience by unlocking and expressing the feelings of the heart through music. Her song "Keep Going" addresses depression and has helped thousands of people individually. This interview with Hilary will make you ask how you can use music in your family’s dynamic so that it harbors safety, healing, and connection. Keep Going IG handles: @hilaryweeksmusic @drtimthayne

Eric Turner: Leadership From Marine To COO

Eric Turner shares stories from his life that lead him to work at Trustyy. Coming from a family that often lived paycheck to paycheck, he joined the Marines right after high school. He got to visit home after boot camp. September 11th, 2001, he was sitting on a plane ready for takeoff when he heard about the attack on the world trade center. Eric served several tours and learned a lot about leadership being in charge of 25 other marines and 50+ local police. While still in the reserves he ha...

Michele Benyo: Good Grief Parenting, How To Help Your Child Deal With Loss

Michel Benyo is a grief coach. She specializes in helping Children deal with loss in their life. Having children of her own and losing one put her through a heart wrenching journey. While grieving, she learned how to help her daughter with her grief. As you listen to Michelle's stories and practical advice, you will feel better equipped to help those in your life deal with their grief. So many of us avoid grief, but there's a reason "good grief" is a common phrase; it's because there is a ...

Sherry Fernandez: Love Your Kids Hard

Sherry Fernandez was a hippy turned business woman. With insane drive and 

Dianne Kosto: How Neurofeedback Saved Her Sons Life

Dianne Kosto is a mother and CEO of Symmetry Neuro-Pathway Training. Dianne had a son who was kicked out of military school and almost kicked out of a treatment program for teen boys. She fears what could've happened if she hadn't found Neurofeedback. Neurofeedback is a non-invasive alternative to medication. It is painless, drugless, free of harmful side effects, and produces noticeable improvements that can enhance the effect of other traditional therapies.  If you are interested in looki...

Pt. 5 How To Be Your Teens Number One Influencer: Story, with Roxanne Thayne

Dr. Thayne interviews his wife, Roxanne, on the power of storytelling. You must be as entertaining and compelling as your competitor (social media) to influence your teen. Become a master storyteller to encourage your teen to take action, adopt value, and come closer as a family. After this episode, you will ask yourself what stories you have that would impact your teen.  Challenge: Find a story in your life that teaches a principle. Take your time to craft it into something compelling and ...

Pt. 4 How to Be Your Teen's Number One Influencer: Fear

Dr. Thayne speaks about the role of fear when we are trying to be our teen's number one influencer. Fear is natural and can be healthy in doses, but when it isn't handled right, it can spiral out of control and have a domino effect on the family. Tim explains that you have to recognize the fear first. Then you can address it by talking yourself down from expecting the worst and taking action despite your fear.  Challenge: When you feel fearful, articulate what you are afraid of. Communicate...

Pt. 3 How To Be Your Teens Number One Influencer: LISTEN

Listening is one of the most influential things you could do.  We might think that listening is too passive to possibly have an influence. Most of the time, however,  no one cares to be swayed by someone they feel doesn't understand them. Dr. Tim Thayne gives some practical tips on how to listen to your teen. Some of them include going into the conversation being willing to have your mind changed. Challenge: Prioritize listening. Let go of the need to control the conversation. At the end o...

Pt. 2 How to Be Your Teen’s Number One Influencer: Values

 Along with being a deliberate example, parents need to be aware of the values you are modeling.  Today’s episode explores some virtues that seem to be less common in today’s self-centered and fast paced world.  We also discuss how to create moral literacy with stories.

How to Become the #1 Influencer in Your Teen’s Life. Pt. 1, Example

Would you allow a stranger to sit on your teen's bed and talk to them for hours a day? Never. Yet this is what's happening and this is how you can put yourself back in the number one influencer position with your teen, through your deliberate, though not perfect, example.

Pt. 1 How to Be Your Teens Number One Influencer: Example

Would you allow a stranger to sit on your teen's bed and talk to them for hours a day? Never. Yet this is what's happening and this is how you can put yourself back in the number one influencer position with your teen, through your deliberate, though not perfect, example.

Are You Reading the Stories Your Teens are Writing About Themselves?

What if you could read your teen's thoughts about themselves?  Would their story of their worth match yours about them?  Dr. Thayne talks about how the stories we choose to tell ourselves can lead to vastly different outcomes, ranging from destructive to a springboard for success. 0:00 Intro 1:28 Self Esteem Stat 4:58 Student Body President 9:04 Daughter Wants To Drop Out 14:07 App Announcement 15:15 Driving To the Airport 17:11 Closing Self Esteem Talk 20:23 Outro

The Story of My Choice to Leave the Wilderness for Home

Dr. Thayne takes this opportunity to share with Casi Fariello of OPLM why he felt it was time to turn his attention to the needs of families after their teen's out-of-home treatment programs.  He shares his journey from an owner and therapist in a wilderness treatment program, to working where the "rubber meets the road" of therapeutic treatment . . . in the home.

The Power of Parent Support Groups: With Casie Fariello

"As we get stronger, our family gets stronger."  In today's episode, Dr. Thayne introduces listeners to Casie Fariello, the CEO of "Other Parents Like Me," a virtual membership platform that went live in January of 2022. Casie retired from United Airlines after 26 years in December of 2022 to follow her passion to co-found the program after creating parent support groups at Balance Continuum of Care in Arizona in 2020 and is a Parent Coach and Facilitator for The Partnership to End Addiction...

The Launch: Not by Chance Yearbook, Issue 4

In this episode Dr. Thayne and Roxanne Thayne discuss the latest in the collection of Not by Chance Yearbooks.  The purpose of the book is to share stories, quotes, photographs and writing prompts that encourage readers in intentional family living.   This issue is focused on the theme of home: coming home, strengthening the home, rebuilding the home, and memories of home. Listen in as the Thaynes share the narratives they wrote, as well as two others that will give you a peek inside this ...

"THIS is Your Boundary"

Today Dr. Thayne discusses the importance of healthy boundaries and how to teach others to respect them in your home and family.   Using the example of his Olde English Bulldogge puppy (Churchill), he explains how the trainer's consistency and an appropriate level of consequence are key for success in the long run.  Hmmm, sounds an awful lot like what we teach in the Not by Chance book! Facebook Page link (Here) [email protected]

Dr. Timothy Smith: Connection inside the family

Dr Tim Thayne interviews Dr. Timothy Smith, a psychologist and professor of counseling psychology at Brigham Young University. As social beings, we are wired for connectivity. Dr. Smith and Dr. Thayne discuss research-based solutions for parents to deepen connections and change unhealthy patterns inside the family. Learn universal principles that can help you achieve a balance between connection and leadership with your teen. 

Introduce Danger Into Their Play

In Psychologist Jordan Peterson's bestselling book, “12 Rules for Life” one rule is, “Don’t bother children when they are skateboarding.” In this episode Dr. Tim Thayne talks about the importance of introducing risk in children's play. There are numerous benefits for children when they aren’t put in bubble wrap, but allowed to grow physically and mentally healthier, more confident and better able to assess risk moving forward. He talks about the adventure playground movement that started in ...

Model Service for Your Kids

While it naturally feels good to help someone, it isn’t the most natural thing to remember to serve when we are in the midst of a struggle. So how do we teach our children to be on the lookout for service opportunities? Dr. Thayne shares a story about a mother who felt the thrill of serving a fellow mom in distress. After listening to this woman and then sharing her own experiences, they walked away with lighter hearts and hopeful attitudes. Teach your kids the importance of serving, and whe...

Don't Procrastinate the Conversation About Tech Use in Your Home

The number one concern of our time for parents is the excessive and damaging tech use or screen time or social media that their kids are experiencing.  While there are great educational options available, the toxic and dark side of the internet is a real issue.  Dr. Thayne helps parents learn to talk about, manage, and prepare their teens to be safe and competent online.

Don't Procrastinate the Conversation About Tech Use in Your Home

The number one concern of our time for parents is the excessive and damaging tech use or screen time or social media that their kids are experiencing.  While there are great educational options available, the toxic and dark side of the internet is a real issue.  Dr. Thayne helps parents learn to talk about, manage, and prepare their teens to be safe and competent online.

What Are Your Family Values?

Dr. Tim Thayne talks about a families values and how recently they haven't been emphasized. Children need to be taught what to value by their parents, the ones that love them the most. However, if they don't teach them, then the internet will. Dr. Thayne encourages parents to sit down with each other and discuss what they value and how they can live and teach it better to their children. Parents are the greatest and most selfless teachers out their, because no-one has a deeper love for their...

Launch of the Not by Chance Yearbook, Issue 3!

Join Dr. Thayne as he introduces listeners to the two editors and brains behind the beautiful and inspirational Not by Chance Yearbooks.  They share the reason they chose the theme of "Preserve" for the third issue, and the stories of the traditions, memories, and relationships that are worth our efforts to preserve.

the Paradox of Happiness During this Christmas Season

Dr. Tim Thayne talks about the paradox of finding happiness. He shares his insights about how happiness is found when you quit looking for it and instead you start giving it to others. His story of a humble bishop serving a family in need will inspire you to look at the people in your own life and find ways to help them.

the Paradox of Happiness During this Christmas Season

Dr. Tim Thayne talks about the paradox of finding happiness. He shares his insights about how happiness is found when you quit looking for it and instead you start giving it to others. His story of a humble bishop serving a family in need will inspire you to look at the people in your own life and find ways to help them.

The Paradox of Happiness Durring this Christmas Season

Dr. Tim Thayne talks about the paradox of finding happiness. He shares his insights about how happiness is found when you quit looking for it and instead you start giving it to others. His story of a humble bishop serving a family in need will inspire you to look at the people in your own life and find ways to help them.

Take Me Home Pt. 3

Take Me Home Pt. 2

In part two of the mini Take Me Home series we hear some more stories from the Homeward Bound Team. Dawnie Williams, Lyle Nelson, Kayla Anderson and Erin Kitterman all share stories of home and family. During this Thanksgiving, it is good to remember what makes a home for us and to express our gratitude for it. 

Take Me Home Pt. 1

In this episode members of the Homeward Bound team share stories with the theme, "Take Me Home." These personal stories highlight the importance of having a home and what a home is. By listening to this episode we hope it inspires you to think of your own stories about home and connection. respectively,  the story tellers are Roxanne Thayne, Brooke Hersh, Shari Murray, Michelle Mulford, and Michelle Westerlind.

Raising Self-Reliant Teens

In this episode, Dr. Tim Thayne discusses how today's parenting trends are centered around smoothing the path for their child rather than preparing them for the inevitable bumps. He encourages parents to pause question their first instinct to prevent failure. He ends with practical advice to help your kids become more self-reliant, which means greater confidence and competence. 

Family Meetings: The Most Intentional Way To Strengthen the Home.

We can learn some great processes from our work lives that can translate well into our home lives.  One of those is the vision, celebration and connection that comes from meetings.  Tim and Roxanne Thayne share the obstacles, benefits, and best practices for improving your family’s communication and unity through family meetings.  Take note of the tips and motivation that comes from research, thousands of homes, and their own family experiences.

Family Meetings: The Most Intentional Way To Strengthen the Home.

We can learn some great processes from our work lives that can translate well into our home lives.  One of those is the vision, celebration and connection that comes from meetings.  Tim and Roxanne Thayne share the obstacles, benefits, and best practices for improving your family’s communication and unity through family meetings.  Take note of the tips and motivation that comes from research, thousands of homes, and their own family experiences.

Development and Reduction of Anxiety: with Dr. Tim DiGiacomo

Dr. Tim Thayne has Dr. Tim DiGiacomo and his two colleagues Rachel Morin and Brittany Little on the podcast this week. The discussion is centered around anxiety and how it develops and how you can reduce it. Anxiety isn't only genetic it can also be environmental in terms of modeling. In this episode, these four experts discuss skills to handle anxiety and to model techniques for your kids. 

Pt. 2 From Dentist to Mind Success Coach: with Doctor Dennis Deaton

In Part 2, Dr. Thayne continues his discussion with Dr. Dennis Deaton. They discuss some of his books and the critical principles they teach. Dr. Deaton is the creator of an engaging online course that prepares young people for the challenges they face every day. It gives them instruction and skills they can develop in two major areas: mind management and emotional intelligence. To check it out, go to this website and enter the following code for special savings:   www.ownityouth.com Coupo...

Mind Management Principles for Teens Pt. 2: with Doctor Dennis Deaton

In Part 2, Dr. Thayne continues his discussion with Dr. Dennis Deaton. They discuss some of his books and the critical principles they teach. Dr. Deaton is the creator of an engaging online course that prepares young people for the challenges they face every day. It gives them instruction and skills they can develop in two major areas: mind management and emotional intelligence. To check it out, go to this website and enter the following code for special savings:   www.ownityouth.com Coupo...

From Dentist to Mind Success Coach: with Doctor Dennis Deaton

Dr. Tim Thayne interviews Dr. Dennis Deaton on his story of how he became a nationally recognized public speaker and mindset coach. He enthusiastically teaches the principles and mindsets we all need in order to become the successes we have dreamed of. His humble yet passionate ideas to help youth “Own it!” and determine the outcomes of their lives are sure to inspire.

Mind Management Principles for Teens: with Doctor Dennis Deaton

Dr. Tim Thayne interviews Dr. Dennis Deaton on his story of how he became a nationally recognized public speaker and mindset coach. He enthusiastically teaches the principles and mindsets we all need in order to become the successes we have dreamed of. His humble yet passionate ideas to help youth “Own it!” and determine the outcomes of their lives are sure to inspire.

A Tribute to My Brother

Family relationships are eternal. In this episode Dr. Thayne pays tribute to his older brother, who passed recently. He shares how he had played the role of protector and advocate for their family.

Pen to Paper: Journaling as the Most Cost-Effective Tool to Boost Mental and Physical Health

Roxanne Thayne has decades of experience in writing in a personal journal and teaching writing and history.  But more recently she has identified the benefits as a mother.  Both for herself and in how it has effected her children who use it.  Learn how such a simple practice can strengthen both mind, body and relationships.

How Parents Can Inspire a Passion for Lifelong Learning in a Burned Out Teen: with Kelsey Komorowski

Kelsey uses her 16 years of experience working closely with students and their parents to develop the skills, mindsets and attributes they need to thrive not only in school, but as lifelong learners and thoughtful, confident human beings.

The Womanly Art of Raising Other People's Kids: with the Essential Stepmom, Tracy Poizner

Dr. Tim Thayne interviews Tracy Poizner, the Essential Stepmom, on the womanly art of raising other people's kids.  As a bio mom, a divorced mom, a single mom and now a stepmom, Tracy has learned the ins and outs of the stepfamily situation from a traditional, original family system.  She teaches moms and dads in our audience how to find the little tweaks that need to be done intentionally to keep their new family system strong.

Dust Off Your Dancing Shoes: 3 Ways To Build Confidence

Today Dr. Thayne addresses one of the most universal issues families are dealing with today . . . anxiety.  He shares three principles for building confidence in our teens and in ourselves as parents.  He also recommends you watch this classic family movie that will illustrate these tips beautifully.