Normal Country
59 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 4 years ago - ★★★★★ - 31 ratingsEvery week until the inevitable heat death of the planet from manmade climate change, comedians / cat dads Zach Heltzel and Grant Pardee give you a 30,000 foot view of a nation where nothing weird is going on right now.
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Episodes
Ep. 58 - The Most Normal Tweets of the Decade
December 25, 2019 08:00 - 52 minutes - 48.8 MBMerry Christmas, normies! We're not afraid to say it thanks to our big wet boy. Our gift to you this year is a rundown of some of the worst, I mean...most normal, political tweets from the 2010s.
Ep. 57 - Impeachment Night in America
December 19, 2019 06:53 - 54 minutes - 50.3 MBZach's (still) sick, Grant's (still) busy, and our big wet boy has been impeached for being a sloppy criminal by the largest House margin in the history of this normal country of ours. We also despair over the UK election, Kumail Nanjiani deciding he has abs now, and Producer Prince's sudden departure from the Bloomberg 2020 campaign.
Ep. 56 - Fill My Pesci Hole
December 09, 2019 04:35 - 1 hour - 58.2 MBThe boys hop on Joe Biden's No Malarkey bus tour and catch up on all the terrible things that happened in the world over the Thanksgiving holiday. MERCH: https://represent.com/store/normal-country
Ep. 55 - Hot Coffee
November 25, 2019 02:00 - 51 minutes - 46.8 MBGrant's Mom is in town so we keep it brief and largely apolitical as we touch on the #LCJChallenge, the Tesla Cybertruck, and what it sounds like when a coffee cup moves across a table during a live taping of an MSNBC talk show. Subscribe to the newsletter: https://normalcountry.substack.com/ Buy merch: https://represent.com/store/normal-country
Ep. 54 - Medicare for All Who Operate a Small Business in an Economically Disadvantaged Area for Three Years
November 18, 2019 06:07 - 56 minutes - 51.7 MBZach's car broke down, Grant had to do home repairs, one of our producers has Feline AIDS, and both Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders have conceded in their own ways that Medicare for All isn't very likely. Bad week! Not good! No bueno. Also: there was definitely a coup in Bolivia, Deval Patrick needs to go away, Pete Buttigieg doesn't care about black people, and Baby Yoda could force choke me to death and I would thank them for the privilege.
Ep. 53 - Big Structural Boomer
November 11, 2019 04:40 - 1 hour - 61.4 MBOn the one year anniversary of Normal Country, we talk about how billionaires are uhhhhhhhhhh very bad and maybe also not good? We also do a dramatic reading of the most scathing critique of Pete Buttigieg's campaign we've heard yet. Who is its author? The answer may surprise you.
Ep. 52 - Hannibal Buress is a Landlord (with Brock Wilbur!)
November 05, 2019 04:54 - 53 minutes - 49 MBReturning champion Brock Wilbur (@brockwilbur) hops on a call with Zach to break down Elizabeth Warren's Medicare for All proposal and Beto O'Rourke's 2020 Presidential campaign taught us that it was okay to be weird. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER OR I'M GOING TO HAVE TO STOP DOING THEM YOU CHUDS: https://normalcountry.substack.com/ P.S. Epstein didn't kill himself.
Ep. 51 - Delete Facebook, Lawyer Up, Hit the Gym
October 28, 2019 05:31 - 56 minutes - 51.4 MBThe boys spend a bunch of time criticizing white feminism, because that's definitely a lane they should drift into (it's not and we shouldn't have). We also talk about our spoopy Halloween adventures and do a dramatic reading of Kellyanne Conway's on the record conversation with a Washington Examiner reporter. Cancel us! We dare you!
Ep. 50 - The Stent Has Made Him Too Powerful
October 22, 2019 05:44 - 1 hour - 58.7 MBGrantpa is back, baby! The small bois are back together again to talk about AOC's Bernie endorsement, Mitt Romney's secret Twitter account, and how holding the G7 at Trump's Doral resort would be Fyre Fest for the world's most powerful people, which would actually be kind of awesome.
Ep. 49 - Zaching Off on Half a Bottle of NyQuil
October 14, 2019 04:38 - 53 minutes - 49.4 MBWe are both deathly ill but the show must go on! Zach just downed half a bottle of NyQuil and recorded an hourlong screed about Joker, the death of a key witness in the Botham Jean murder trial, and the careless foreign policy decision that may be the most egregious atrocity in a presidential administration that is only egregious atrocities. This episode is terrible and we will definitely be deleting it.
Ep. 48 - Elizabeth Cougar Mellencamp (with Ian Carlos Crawford!)
October 07, 2019 03:00 - 59 minutes - 55 MBIan Carlos Crawford (@ianxcarlos), the host of the hit podcast Slayerfest 98, joins Zach to break down the explosive allegations that will derail the Elizabeth Warren campaign: she *checks notes* consensually rocked the world of some Chad with her husband's permission. This obviously didn't actually happen; it was the newest badly orchestrated grift from friend of the pod Jacob Wohl, but despite that, we still support Warren's candidacy even if she hasn't outf*cked a Marine. SUBSCRIBE TO THE ...
Ep. 47 - Cousin Greg's Ukrainian Adventure (with Daniel Antonio Barron!)
September 30, 2019 06:03 - 1 hour - 67.7 MBYay! LA Magazine editor-in-chief Daniel Antonio Barron (@YayDanielBarron (https://twitter.com/YayDanielBarron) ) joins us to discuss the impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump, our big wet boy who got cocky and committed a whole bunch of crimes after we got away with committing a whole bunch of crimes. Go to http://www.yaylamag.com/ even if you don't live in Los Angeles because it's a pretty awesome source for all things arts and culture. We've been fans since before this podcast was...
Ep. 46 - Fursona Non Grata (with Ashlyn Anstee and J. Patrick Rigney!)
September 23, 2019 05:25 - 1 hour - 59.3 MBWhile Grant is in hiding after being snitched on by Tekashi 6ix9ine, wife of the pod Ashlyn Anstee and returning champion J. Patrick Rigney step into the octagon to discuss: -Milo Yiannopoulos getting wrecked by the Furry community -The Washington Post's profile on the dogs rescued from Michael Vick's dogfighting ring -Many more cozy topics that have nothing to do with Donald Trump strongarming the President of Ukraine into launching a phony investigation into the failson of his most formidab...
Ep. 45 - Fleet of Nature Boys (with Erik Barnes!)
September 16, 2019 03:16 - 1 hour - 58.1 MBComedian Erik Barnes (@ErikWBarnes) joins us to discuss the key takeaways of last week's third Democratic debate and the 18th birthday of 9/11. Cut from this episode is 20 minutes of discussion about The Joker and living in a society. Take this month's normpod straw poll: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/S9ZNYHD
Ep. 44 - Got to Catch the Red Eye (with Ashlyn Anstee!)
September 09, 2019 07:17 - 1 hour - 58.8 MBZach joins Grant and Ashlyn in their very noisy backyard to have a very low stakes chat about Joe Biden's tendency to sound exactly like Donald Trump, the rise and fall of the Jeremy Renner app, and the key takeaways of this week's CNN climate town halls. Also, we trapped and released Lime, one of the strays getting up to some funny business on the Pardee property.
Ep. 43 - Dohn Jelaney (with Lola Blanc and Ashlyn Anstee!)
August 31, 2019 01:00 - 1 hour - 68.1 MBMulti-hyphenate actor/musician/artist Lola Blanc (@ohlalola (https://twitter.com/ohlalola) ) joins Zach, Grant and Ashlyn for a raucous ol' time where we dish about The Bachelor, mourn the untimely demise of Kirsten Gillibrand's Presidential campaign, and put ourselves into the pathetic shoes of medical loan shark and Sides God John Delaney. We mentioned Lola's song "Angry Too" in this episode, and if you haven't heard it/seen the video, it's pretty friggin' incredible. Here's a link: https:/...
Ep. 42 - Nine Loko (with Kelly McInerney!)
August 26, 2019 05:23 - 55 minutes - 51 MBComedian Kelly McInerney (IMDWeed, Doug Loves Movies) joins Zach while Grant and Ashlyn are in Canada to discuss all the things Zach would never be able to get Grant to approve of: lesbian space crimes, Four Loko, Tom Green's "Freddy Got Fingered" ... you know, extremely Zach shit. This podcast is brought to you by Zach drinking four White Claws before Kelly got there. You can follow Kelly at @hollyweirdo on Twitter. Zach forgot to go get Grant's mics and Zoom recorder so this podcast was rec...
Ep. 41 - Portnoy's Complaint (with Peter Miller!)
August 19, 2019 03:41 - 1 hour - 61.4 MBProfessional smart person Peter Miller (Adam Ruins Everything, Lovett or Leave It) joins us this week to pour cold water all over Zach and Grant's wildest fantasies surrounding the recent death of Jeffrey Epstein. Peter maintains that the answers you seek regarding his untimely demise rest in the hard truth about America's prison system, not in vast conspiracies around reptilians harvesting adrenochrome. We also take a deep dive into Bernie Sanders' recent kerfuffle with the press, the contro...
Ep. 40 - How Green Was My Polo
August 12, 2019 01:24 - 1 hour - 60.5 MBIn the six years since we last recorded, 30-50 feral hogs ran into Jeffrey Epstein's jail cell and murdered him while a man in a green shirt laughed. Also this week, Beto is unchained, Joe Biden can't stop saying sundowning old man stuff, and myriad stories of actions taken by ICE and the Trump administration that are almost unfathomable in their cruelty. Remember when this was a comedy podcast? GoFundMe for the surviving children of Andre and Jordan Anchondo, who were killed in the El Paso W...
Ep. 39 - Thirst Busted (with Brandie Posey!)
August 05, 2019 02:46 - 1 hour - 73.2 MBComedian and co-host of Lady to Lady Brandie Posey (@brandazzle) joins the boys to discuss the 249th and 250th mass shootings in the United States in 2019, the newest round of Democratic debates, and what it's like to be one of the hardest working women in show business. Subscribe to Lady to Lady: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lady-to-lady/id578706812 MERCH: https://represent.com/store/normal-country Donate to Moms Demand Action: https://momsdemandaction.org/
Ep. 38 - Feet (with Ashlyn Anstee and Derrick Lemos!)
July 29, 2019 04:02 - 1 hour - 57.8 MBYour returning champions Ashlyn Anstee and Derrick Lemos are back in the Octagon to discuss Kamala Harris's hilarious student debt forgiveness plan and the new Quentin Tarantino film Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood. You can listen to Derrick's podcast, Mansplain Yourself, here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/mansplain-yourself/id1457625398 That Twitter thread about the Krassensteins that we pointedly did not talk about at length on the pod: https://twitter.com/Fraude_101/status/1154843...
Ep. 37 - Digital Fur Technology (with Ashlyn Anstee!)
July 22, 2019 05:52 - 1 hour - 65 MBWife of the pod Ashlyn Anstee is back on the mic to discuss this week's fascist Trump rally, the Cats trailer, Naruto-running into Area 51, Grant's new favorite Twitter account, and the renaming of one of our producers! T-shirts: https://represent.com/store/normal-country
Ep. 36 - Send Tom Nook to The Hague
July 15, 2019 04:21 - 1 hour - 59.9 MBWhile Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump find common cause to malign the members of the Democratic caucus who are actually trying to do something about the fact America is operating concentration camps, Zach and Grant elect to talk about Ace Watkins, the man who may become the first Gamer President. T-shirts: https://represent.com/store/normal-country Donate to RAICES: https://actionnetwork.org/groups/raices-refugee-and-immigrant-center-for-education-and-legal-services
Ep. 35 - They're Concentration Camps, Brent (with Derrick Lemos!)
July 08, 2019 02:03 - 1 hour - 58.6 MBDerrick Lemos (@DerrickLemos (https://twitter.com/DerrickLemos) , host of @Mansplainurself (https://twitter.com/Mansplainurself) ) joins us to have a long, joyless, overdue talk about an inconvenient truth: we are running concentration camps right now and we're doing jack shit about it. Hope you enjoyed the 4th of July!
Ep. 34 - Marianne Gear Solid (with Michael Parreno!)
July 01, 2019 02:04 - 1 hour - 61.9 MBWe're joined again this week by Michael Parreno to talk more about the first Democratic Presidential debates, the inevitable racist attacks from the right against Kamala Harris, and the profound stupidity of New York Times op-ed writers. We also play a game of Marianne Williamson or Metal Gear Solid, courtesy of a brilliant New York Magazine piece by Brian Feldman. Lastly, Prince got a haircut!
Ep. 33 - Super Smash Dems: Brawl (with Kristin Clifford!)
June 28, 2019 05:42 - 53 minutes - 49.1 MBZach is joined by comedian Kristin Clifford to discuss Night 2 of the first 2020 Democratic Presidential debate, where nine candidates had no choice but to bask in the spectacular aura of Laura Dern's former roommate, Marianne Williamson.
Ep. 32 - Super Smash Dems: Melee (with Zak Ghali!)
June 27, 2019 06:08 - 54 minutes - 49.9 MBZach, who watched the debate, is joined by Zak Ghali (@sixfootzak) who did not watch the debate. We mostly just talk about how his friend Viking has a *extremely Al Pacino voice* great asssssssssssssssssssss
Ep. 31 - Super Smash Dems (with Dave Schilling!)
June 17, 2019 05:56 - 1 hour - 65.6 MBWriter Dave Schilling (Vice, WWE, Grantland, everywhere) joins the smol bois to discuss the upcoming Democratic debates, Joe Biden's cancer moonshot, Banjo Kazooie, dicks, and the most important political question of the millennium: Limp Bizkit or Linkin Park? We also dive deep into the results of our first Normpod straw poll. Shockingly, y'all are going whole hog for Elizabeth Warren. We may or may not have, ahem, planned for that. NEW MERCH! Proceeds go to The Yellowhammer Fund, Fix Nation ...
Ep. 30 - Receiving End of a Ballet
June 10, 2019 00:59 - 1 hour - 60.2 MBThe smol bois talk this week about E3 2019, everyone Mitch McConnell is blocking in the Senate that his own voters would support, and they get into a tiny little spat about whether Joe Biden is almost as bad as Trump or if that's a terrible way to frame the comparison between two guys who probably shouldn't be President. Also, Grant got himself unverified on Twitter! The truth is he did it on purpose, but the story we're sticking to is that the free speech warriors on the right tried to depla...
Ep. 29 - Be Gay, Do Crimes
June 03, 2019 03:38 - 1 hour - 61.2 MBGrant introduces Zach to our newest producer, Goose Pardee, formerly known as Mrs. Moose aka Mr. Mrs. Moose. Other things happen too, but mainly we just talk about that. NEW MERCH: proceeds go to The Yellowhammer Fund and Lambda Legal. Get it here and slide into our mentions at @normpod/@zachheltzel/@grantpa if you would like a discount code. https://represent.com/store/normal-country
Ep. 28 - Grandpa MySpace Rant Time (with Brock Wilbur!)
May 28, 2019 03:31 - 1 hour - 58.1 MBZach is joined by writer/producer of everything Brock Wilbur to discuss Bret Easton Ellis's newest work of post-empire creative nonfiction, White. Not a fan!
Ep. 27 - The First Chaos Emerald at Stonewall
May 20, 2019 05:01 - 1 hour - 61.8 MBMEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOMEN'S BODIES MEN SHOULDN'T BE MAKING LAWS ABOUT WOM...
Ep. 26 - The Great Mouse Detective
May 13, 2019 03:09 - 1 hour - 87.1 MBGrant is back from Europe and ready to take a deep dive into Pokemon Detective Pikachu and all the news he missed over the last two weeks from Hellworld!
Ep. 25 - Zaching Off
May 06, 2019 03:20 - 45 minutes - 41.2 MBLeft without a cohost or a means to bring in a remote guest host, Zach drank a margarita and decided to talk to himself for 35 minutes on mic. No big deal. Stick around until the end for six minutes of Bernie Sanders talking to some mall goths in 1988.
Ep. 24 - One of Those Textile Worshipping Cults, No Doubt (with Greg Stevens!)
April 29, 2019 01:00 - 1 hour - 71.7 MBWhile Grant is in one of those weird countries that have a working healthcare system, Zach is joined on Skype by Greg Stevens (@gregstevens) to discuss Satanism, The Satanic Temple, and the new documentary "**Hail Satan?**," now playing in select cities.
Ep. 23 - Thicc Daddy Bob Mueller
April 22, 2019 02:53 - 1 hour - 80.8 MBGrant's back for an episode before heading off to Europe with the wife of the pod for their long overdue honeymoon! We dish about how he spent the last two weeks in Toledo before Zach gives his book report on the 448 page Mueller report.
Ep. 22 - The Sixth Estate (with J. Patrick Rigney!)
April 15, 2019 01:30 - 1 hour - 98 MBContent warning: we talk at length about sexual assault, body autonomy, violence against LGBT persons, and violations of human rights at the border in more detail than usual, so if this is the episode you have to skip, we completely understand. Screenwriter J. Patrick Rigney joins Zach this week to talk about how the frog has been fully boiled and all we can do now as we have tipped into full fascistic Hellworld is, I don't know, talk about Harmony Korine's The Beach Bum? Before anyone slides...
Ep. 21 - Let's Have A Kiki (with Kelly Andersen!)
April 08, 2019 01:51 - 59 minutes - 54.6 MBComedian and recovering news anchor Kelly Andersen (Kiki if you're nasty) is this week's guest host! She and Zach talk about the Healthy Holly scandal brewing in Baltimore, the second rumblings of a boycott on the hotel properties owned by the Sultan of Brunei, and much more important things like how Jodi Arias is a Never Trump Republican. Zach was left to his own devices this week without the help of producers Prince Pardee, Moose Pardee, and Milo Pardee, so that's why the audio sounds like...
Ep. 20 - Record Deepness (with Joey Fatone!)
April 01, 2019 04:10 - 1 hour - 66.1 MBGrant is on a reporting trip to Ohio so we are joined today by his friend Joey Fatone (pronounced Fah-tony). Merch: [https://represent.com/store/normal-country](https://represent.com/store/normal-country)
Ep. 19 - Principal Conclusions
March 25, 2019 03:55 - 1 hour - 67.2 MBRobert Mueller is not going to save us...and that's okay. We are perfectly capable of saving ourselves and by golly, I think we will. In addition to the Barr memo, we discuss the greatest high school theatre production ever made and how three extremely online teenagers have taken a retired U.S. Senator and turned him into a renewed symbol of anti-imperialism on the left. The kids made this week bearable and in light of recent tragic news surrounding the survivors of last year's Parkland mass...
Ep. 18 - Psychedelic Warlord (with Michael Parreno and Ashlyn Anstee!)
March 18, 2019 03:39 - 1 hour - 93.2 MBCall Morgan Spurlock because this episode with supersized, baby! To start things off, we talk to Wife of the Pod Ashlyn Anstee who was featured on Full Frontal with Samantha Bee this week because of something her and her fellow animators did to make their industry a better place. Watch that here: [https://youtu.be/KmNnNKIMxQg?list=PLZQfnFyelTBOQ15kmHSgEbdjzLMWzZpL7](https://youtu.be/KmNnNKIMxQg?list=PLZQfnFyelTBOQ15kmHSgEbdjzLMWzZpL7) Then, writer/podcast producer Michael Parreno joins ...
Ep. 17 - Shamone You
March 11, 2019 04:00 - 1 hour - 74.4 MBMichael Jackson is canceled, R. Kelly is canceled, anti-vaxxers are canceled, Florida massage parlors are canceled, SMILF is canceled, Crashing is canceled, everything is canceled. A lot of normal things this week: Manafort gets a slap on the wrist for his rampant criminality, everyone is saying dumb stuff at SXSW, Donald Trump signed people's Bibles, and so much more! Also, we got t-shirts, baby! Go to https://represent.com/store/normal-country for your first batch of NormMerch.
Ep. 16 - The James Dean of 1994 (with Zach's Mom!)
March 06, 2019 07:19 - 1 hour - 31.3 MBDespite wanting absolutely no part in this, Zach's Mom returns to the show to give follow-up on her thoughts about the 2020 Democratic field, share memories of departed actor Luke Perry, and weigh in on the question on everybody's mind right now: who is the best Chris? Review this podcast on Apple Podcasts by March 15 for your chance to win a nice autographed copy of NOW! That's What I Call Music 69.
Ep. 15 - Content Warning: Bernie
February 25, 2019 06:10 - 1 hour - 32 MBOkay, but seriously, content warning: we do talk a lot about suicide on this episode in light of the recent loss of Brody Stevens and if you need to sit this one out, we completely understand. This week, we discuss Bernie Sanders announcing his candidacy for the 2020 Presidential nomination, the hard reality of what a Democrat may be able to accomplish when and if we take back the White House, and how there is no justification for how Dianne Feinstein addressed the issue of whether or not we...
Ep. 14 - Cats and Kaep (with Ashlyn Anstee!)
February 18, 2019 06:28 - 1 hour - 28.1 MBWe bring to you a palate cleanser this week where very little in the way of politics is brought up and instead, we talk about cats, movies, football, young adult fiction, Canada, and Meghan Trainor with wife of the pod and the manager of our producers, Ashlyn Anstee (@ashlynanstee)! Rate us 5 stars on Apple Podcasts if you would like to win a copy of NOW! That's What I Call Music 69 (nice).
Ep. 13 - Jeff Bezos Show Hog
February 11, 2019 04:27 - 1 hour - 32.1 MBZach and Grant could have (and probably should have) just talked about Steven Soderbergh's **High Flying Bird**, a movie that absolutely rules that we spoil quite thoroughly during the episode, so make sure to watch it before diving in if you care about those sort of things. Also this week, more from the moral catastrophe in Virginia, some brief thoughts on the Green New Deal, an exposed pecker, an exposed Pecker, and a very special announcement. Listen to the end to see how you can win an a...
Ep. 12 - The Centrists Are Revolting
February 05, 2019 06:01 - 47 minutes - 21.9 MBWell, it finally happened. Events transpired in the country that made are two white male good smol bois talk about abortion. We know you've all been waiting for it. Also this week, Howard Schultz made himself look like a huge heckin' dumdum until Ralph Northam stepped in and went "Hold my beer." Follow Grant @grantpa and Zach @zachheltzel on the internet thingies. This podcast is produced by Moose Pardee, Milo Pardee, and Prince Pardee, who took it upon himself this week to delete half ...
Ep. 11 - Indictment Night in America
January 28, 2019 03:56 - 1 hour - 35.7 MBRoger Stone gets 1% of what he ultimately deserves for his scumbaggery, the government shutdown ends, hundreds of journalists lose their jobs overnight, and Zach does a Macho Man Randy Savage impression nobody asked for. None of those things are as important as the big news this week: our producer Prince Pardee got a haircut!
Ep. 10 - The Red and the White
January 22, 2019 06:29 - 1 hour - 45.4 MBTwo white men talk about institutional racism, a lane they probably should stay out of but they have so much unearned confidence in themselves they do it anyway. They also drift into talking about the Fyre festival, Tom Brady smooching on his son, and Donkey Kong 64, topics that are **definitely** in their lane.
Ep. 9 - Horseshoe Theory
January 14, 2019 04:37 - 1 hour - 34.8 MBThe government shutdown lingers on as the hotel deal guy descends deeper into madness and the "Seth Rich was murdered by the DNC" wing of the Democratic coalition gets their own Presidential candidate! Very normal and good week.