No One Can Know About This: A Podcast Where We Play Every Final Fantasy

S7E37 - Less Common Than an Applebees

April 18, 2024 07:00 - 57 minutes - 52.3 MB

We fuel up on ramen, then take on the Desert Palace as Vivi. There are a lot of torches to light before we confront Kuja and blow up his lies. Then we chase him to the Lost Continent and end for the day. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E36 - Four Cats Dressed as a House

April 11, 2024 07:00 - 1 hour - 63.8 MB

We travel the Forgotten Continent, searching for Oeilvert. Eventually, we enter the ancient ruin, where we discover a few secrets of the universe. Then we try to steal a key from a caged monster. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E35 - Nothing I Do Is Good

April 04, 2024 07:00 - 55 minutes - 50.7 MB

We grind our way around the world trying to eat everything in sight. Eventually, we enter the desert palace under the quicksand. Kuja wants us to get the Gulug stone, and flies us to the Forgotten Continent. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E34 - Adventures in Brain Melt

March 28, 2024 07:00 - 1 hour - 61.3 MB

Come hang out with us during this “intermission” type episode. We will return to playing FFIX next week, but for now, we investigate our life while melting our brain by watching hours and hours of youtube. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E33 - Sails Are the Wings of Boats

March 21, 2024 07:00 - 1 hour - 58.1 MB

We eat sandwiches, then give Cid the special potion. Then we’re given a boat, which we use to explore the world finally. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E32 - Final Fantasy Brain

March 14, 2024 07:00 - 51 minutes - 47.6 MB

We all wake up in Lindblum and pick up the pieces after Alexandria was destroyed. Dagger is speechless, and we need to turn Cid back into a human. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E31 - Just Summoner Things

March 07, 2024 08:00 - 1 hour - 61.2 MB

We win a card tournament in Treno, then head back to Alexandria for the big coronation. Will Garnet’s ascension to queen go off without a hitch? Nope. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E30 - Holy Active Time Event Batman

February 29, 2024 08:00 - 1 hour - 70.2 MB

We witness a farce involving a love letter being passed around, get drunk to forget Dagger, then decide to head to Treno for a card tournament. It’s active time events galore as the stage continues to get set for disk 3. Also, Vivi grew up near Treno. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E29 - My New Thumbless Technique

February 22, 2024 08:00 - 1 hour - 59.6 MB

It’s day 7 of gameplay and disk 3 of the game! We’re back in Alexandria, and everyone is picking up the pieces after the big finale of disk 2. Having come full circle, we wander around the streets as Vivi, mostly racing a hippo kid. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E28 - Fira at Will

February 15, 2024 08:00 - 1 hour - 55.3 MB

It’s the big showdown with Kuja and Queen Brahne at the Iifa Tree. A lot of stuff goes down before the end of disk 2. Then we set the stage for disk three before ending for the day. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E27 - The Sly Eagle Doesn’t Kill at Whim

February 08, 2024 08:00 - 45 minutes - 41.6 MB

We go back to Madain Sari and find the Summoner’s Stone has been taken by Lani. There’s a competition between the bounty hunters. We let Amarant live and it blows his mind. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E26 - What Would Be Right?

February 01, 2024 08:00 - 55 minutes - 50.6 MB

We head to the Iifa Tree and explore its roots. This place must be the source of the mist. Is this a tree of life? Or a tree of death? It’s a giant harp. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E25 - Welcome to the Tragisphere

January 25, 2024 08:00 - 54 minutes - 49.9 MB

We explore Madain Sari and learn about the tribe of the summoners. Will we make enough food for the party? Where is Quina? Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E24 - Midwit Analysis Interrupted by Endless Breakfasts

January 18, 2024 08:00 - 46 minutes - 42.4 MB

It’s the start of day 6. We make breakfast, then try to find the missing mail in the Black Mage Village, before eventually arriving at Madain Sari. We also try Gros Michel bananas. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E23 - There Is a Letter in the Black Mage Village

January 11, 2024 08:00 - 1 hour - 59.6 MB

We explore the Black Mage Village, where things get really sad and dark. Then we go back to Conde Petie for a quick marriage ceremony. We meet Eiko, then decide to end for the day. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E22 - Suroonded by the Moontens

January 04, 2024 08:00 - 54 minutes - 49.5 MB

We finally make it to Conde Petie where we struggle intensely with the local dialect. There are a few active time events before heading out to find the Black Mage Village Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E21 - The Treasure Mines

December 21, 2023 08:00 - 1 hour - 55.3 MB

We continue forward, getting Quina back in the party and heading through the Fossil Roo to get to the Outer Continent. Will we find the hidden moogle? It’s the Gargant dungeon. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E20 - You Say Irrevocable, I Say Irrevocable

December 14, 2023 08:00 - 1 hour - 67.2 MB

It’s a big cursed replay episode, as we go back to get the video we missed. Get ready for sandwiches, speeding through the game, and a little Jerry Garcia. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E19 - A Little Bit of a Lot of Dialogue

December 07, 2023 08:00 - 59 minutes - 54.5 MB

We solve Ramuh’s reading comprehension puzzle, so he agrees to become Dagger’s Eidolon. Then we watch in horror as Queen Brahne destroys Lindblum. How could she have done this? Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E18 - Can You Grok That, Mate?

November 30, 2023 08:00 - 1 hour - 132 MB

It’s the big return to Alexandria. We gotta rescue Dagger before Brahne beheads her. Will we make it in time? It’s the return of the timer. 30 minutes on the clock. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E17 - Reborn Solid Silicone Sasquatch Bigfoot Hybrid Baby

November 23, 2023 08:00 - 1 hour - 61.6 MB

We fail to find bananas. Then we dance the ancient dance of Darude’s Sandstorm. Then the tornado disappears, and we’ve got to defend Cleyra from an attack. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E16 - Potatoes Today

November 16, 2023 08:00 - 58 minutes - 53.9 MB

We start day 4 by getting tense about breakfast and going to the supermarket. Then we explore Cleyra, making our way up the trunk and eventually fighting an antlion. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E15 - Bookenhagen

November 09, 2023 08:00 - 47 minutes - 43.5 MB

We talk to Dr. Tot, who shows us the Gargan Roo, which takes us back to Alexandria Castle. Then we pick up with Zidane and company, who head toward the city of Cleyra. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E14 - Losers Who Want Attention

November 02, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 55.6 MB

We enter the Dark City of Treno, and begin active time eventing our way around, looking for supersoft. Eventually, we meet Dr. Tot. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E13 - An Atmosphere of Completely Chill Chaos

October 26, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 57.7 MB

It’s day 3! We check out a GameFan magazine, make breakfast, talk about bad restaurant ideas, and then we stop off in Dali before finally reaching Treno. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E12 - No Two Bananas Look the Same

October 19, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 79.9 MB

The team finally makes it to Burmecia, the City of Eternal Rain. The place is completely destroyed, with Freya’s people decimated. Then we confront General Beatrix and Queen Brahne herself, who’s hanging out with a mysterious man named Kuja. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E11 - Schadenkupo

October 12, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 67 MB

It’s time to take on Gizamaluke’s Grotto, on the way toward Burmecia. The place is overrun with black mages and bell doors. Is Vivi one of these evil puppets? Who can say. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E10 - Stay Hydrated and Do Side Quests

October 05, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 61.8 MB

Slowly making our way toward Gizamaluke’s Grotto, we get side tracked by grinding, Chocobo Hot and Cold, and frog catching in the Marsh. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E9 - 17 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started the Boxing Reflex Ball

September 28, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 63.3 MB

Burmecia is under attack. We must go there with Freya to save the city! But Dagger has other plans. Then we fart around on the world map, playing with a puzzle ball and reflex ball. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E8 - Hot for Lowell

September 21, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 76.5 MB

We continue exploring the grand city of Lindblum. We find our old Tantalus hideout, chase around an actor named Lowell, go out on a ledge with Dagger, and finally participate in the Festival of the Hunt. Can we beat the great hunter, Freya? Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E7 - Big in Lindblum

September 14, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 68.2 MB

We make it to the grand city of Lindblum, and meet the Cid of this game. He’s been turned into a bug. We explore the big city, and meet Zidane’s old friend Freya. Then we learn about the festival of the hunt. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E6 - I Exist Only to Kill

September 07, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 74.8 MB

It’s day 2, and we start out by making breakfast, a twist on Matty Matheson’s bologna bowl. Ryan brings the legendarily bad player’s guide, so we dive into that nonsense. Then we finally get out of the town of Dali, sailing an airship through South Gate while fighting off a Black Waltz. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutth...

S7E5 - Gee Whiz, a Windmill

August 31, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 117 MB

We make it to the town of Dali, and get hit by a series of Active Time Events. Why is everyone so interested in Vivi? What’s the deal with this cat? Why does this game want to stop us so much? Vivi gets kidnapped, then we end the night and open Brentt’s gifts. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCK...

S7E4 - Food Brain

August 24, 2023 07:00 - 46 minutes - 86.5 MB

We take on the Ice Cave, which is completely overrun with ice. After fighting the Black Waltz 1, we find Final Fantasy school number 2. Also, Jeff makes slider sandwiches. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecanknowaboutthispodca2316 Twitter: @NOCKATpodcast

S7E3 - A Lot of World Map Out Here

August 17, 2023 07:00 - 51 minutes - 95.6 MB

It’s time to find the princess and escape the Evil Forest. We kill the mother Rosebug, which causes everything including Blank to get completely petrified. Outside Evil Forest, the gang takes stock of their situation. We hit Final Fantasy school part 1, then finally have our first real walk around on the world map. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.you...

S7E2 - Alter Reality by Speaking

August 10, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 157 MB

The crew of Tantalus continues the consensual kidnapping of Princess Garnet during the big annual performance of “I Want to Be Your Canary”. There’s stage fights on stage fights, and no one knows what’s real, especially Steiner. Then it’s time for the daring escape, which will go off with plenty of hitches. Also, we try a box of exotic bananas. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: NOCKATpodcast@gmail...

S7E1 - Full Whimsy

August 03, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 204 MB

It’s finally time to play Final Fantasy IX! In the Kingdom of Alexandria, we meet an ensemble of disparate characters, all excited to see or perform in the big play “I Want to Be Your Canary”. Can Zidane and the ragtag crew of Tantalus impress Queen Brahne while executing a secret mission to kidnap Princess Garnet? Will there be any dramatic twists along the way? What’s Vivi’s deal? It’s a wild and whimsical opening for series creator Hironobu Sakaguchi’s final hurrah, and the last mainline ...

Season 7 Pregame

July 27, 2023 07:00 - 50 minutes - 94.2 MB

It’s time to pregame. Get hyped with us to start a gigantic adventure as we prepare to begin playing Final Fantasy IX! We’ve got cameras on our heads this season, so we recorded the morning of the first play session, from waking up to starting the game. We’re finally back. We’ve missed you all. Video Version at Patreon: patreon.com/nockat For T-shirts and mugs: http://etsy.com/shop/nockat For Mognet messages, email: [email protected] Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noonecankno...

Prelaunch Celebration

June 21, 2023 07:01 - 13 minutes - 12.7 MB

Hey guys, wanted to update you all on our upcoming season’s premiere date, and talk about some of the Final Fantasy stuff going on right now. We got the chance to attend the FFXVI prelaunch celebration fan event, and brought along our recorder! So we talk about that, share some feelings on the new FFVII Rebirth trailer, and let you all know that the new season will be premiering July 27th (or July 24th for Patreon subscribers). Can’t wait to share the upcoming journey with you all. It’s been...

S7 Updates, Delays, and Preview

May 15, 2023 07:00 - 18 minutes - 16.9 MB

Hey guys, been too long since we rapped at ya. Wanted to update you all on the upcoming season, talk about mognet messages, and drop a trailer. Season will start airing in late July or early August. Can’t wait to share it with you all. In the immortal words of Papa John: stay tuned.

No One Can Know About This: A Podcast Where We Play Every Final Fantasy

Episodes