Nearly Coherent
162 episodes - English - Latest episode: 7 months ago - ★★★★★ - 10 ratingseD! Thomas, Jeff Ritter, and their producer Dave sit down to talk about whatever weird nonsense they feel like. That nonsense is usually Apple products, movies and TV shows, weird news stories, or just making fun of Dave for 30 minutes, but we try to range the full gamut of
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Episodes
The Whimsy Twins
September 19, 2023 16:00 - 1 hour - 54.5 MBeD! and Jeff are back after a long period of technical nonsense that caused all sorts of issues with their recap of the Apple event, some basic human maintenance that eD!'s been engaging in that has made him feel less like a gnarled old man, details on where they've been all this time, and their newfound quest for whimsy! Also, as a side note, eD! owes dbrand an apology -- he thinks that his AirPods Pro case might have been to blame for his wireless charging issues, not their case for his A...
¡Manzanas!
September 09, 2022 21:00 - 53 minutes - 25.1 MBeD! and Jeff are back to talk about a wide assortment of topics, including chocolate bars, language-learning apps, and sunflower seeds! And, y'know, all the stuff from the "Far Out" Apple event that happened on Wednesday. You knew that already, though, since, like, when do we not talk about the bazillions of dollars we just hand our pals in Cupertino?
Room-Temperature WWDC Takes
June 24, 2022 16:00 - 59 minutes - 41.5 MBeD! and Jeff discuss all the happenings at WWDC, beguiling TikTok videos, the horrors of exercise, and Bluetooth-enabled water bottles! Also they talk about where they've been for four months and, spoiler, it's none of your business, jackass. But, as an apology, here's a DALL·E image of a hamster making it rain, which should make things better for everyone:
None Like It Hot
February 28, 2022 17:00 - 53 minutes - 37.1 MBeD! and Jeff stick to their new every-other-week schedule like the extremely dedicated heroes they are to discuss only the hottest topics of the day, even though that day was a few weeks ago! You want example topics? Put on some socks, 'cause we're about to knock your goofy ass outta 'em! The newest cast memeber for "Fast 10", and eD!'s dream casting for Vin Diesel's non-John Cena brother! Jeff's mind-altered snacking shenanigans! Spoilers for movies that are between 14 and 37 years old!...
The Olean of Illness
February 14, 2022 17:00 - 48 minutes - 33.9 MBeD! and Jeff get back together like a sexy podcasting Voltron to discuss the horrors of feet, the glory of the "Weird Al" biopic, the ongoing nightmare that is the threat of COVID Dick, the heartbreak of heroes lost, the excitement of new sportsball heroes, and memories from decades gone by of a dude who should have been wearing a lot more on the beach! Also, no Dave this episode, so this is a perfect soundtrack for those sexytimes you might be hoping to have tonight, although this episode ...
A Nearly Coherent Thanksgiving
November 25, 2021 14:00 - 43 minutes - 30.1 MBeD! and Jeff talk about Thanksgiving food preferences, feelings on parades, weird eyebrows, eD!’s teeth, and all sorts of other crap! Listen to this instead of the crazed rantings of your uncle that’s on Facebook too frequently, it’ll be way better.
If You Listen Carefully, You can Hear Our Wallets Screaming in the Background
September 15, 2021 16:00 - 55 minutes - 64.3 MBeD! and Jeff discuss all the happenings at the September Apple Event! And also Niki Minaj’s cousin’s balls. Yeah, it’s a weird one.
The Entirety of a Good Breakfast
September 13, 2021 16:00 - 33 minutes - 38.7 MBeD! and Jeff discuss disgraced governors, how to piss off jackasses in a 7-Eleven parking lot, and eD! regales you with the saga of Super Hero, his favorite deli in the universe! Also, we spend like 15 minutes straight talking about a really good egg sandwich, so maybe you should have one of them before you listen to this episode, or else you'll be sitting there all, "Damn, I shoulda had that egg sandwich I was warned about, this sounds delicious" the whole time.
Ocular Antibiotic Hot Takes
September 06, 2021 16:00 - 34 minutes - 40.2 MBeD! and Jeff discuss eD!'s super-weird vacation, Jeff's achievement of hitting peak Dad-ness, podcast listening habits, stank-ass celebrities, respond to some listener email! You can listen to the episode where eD!'s eye was last a funky weirdo, Villain Meeting, here. You can also see the dope Zoom Freak 2 shoes eD!'s Dad got by clicking here. And you can take your shitty opinions on "Joker" right back with you to Hell, you bastards.
Broken Streaming Brain
August 16, 2021 16:00 - 54 minutes - 62.5 MBeD! and Jeff discuss the Feast of St. Rocco, new shows they’re watching, how streaming has broken Jeff’s poor brain, and the majesty of The Waffle House! By the way, we know it’s taken a while for new episodes to come out, but if your podcast playing app ever shows you this shit? It’s a lie. This podcast will be finished when either eD! and/or Jeff are DEAD (especially if eD! dies because Jeff doesn't know how to upload the episodes).
You’re Just Embarrassing Yourself, Roger
July 19, 2021 16:00 - 40 minutes - 47.2 MBeD! and Jeff discuss the new Apple MagSafe Battery Pack Thing, other portable battery packs, “Black Widow”, “Luca”, returning to movie theaters, and answer some reader mail! If you, too, would like us to answer your questions in an episode, feel free to submit them through our contact form here.
Men of Comfort
June 28, 2021 16:00 - 34 minutes - 24 MBeD! and Jeff discuss fitness goals, how much eD! loves his new iPads Pro, acceptance of comfort, and new drinks that eD! just found out about while recording this episode! Also: eD!’s local Crossfit was replaced with a new business that will fill your heart with delight.
The Hydrox of Orange Cartoon Cats
June 21, 2021 16:00 - 39 minutes - 27.4 MBeD! and Jeff discuss stupid work cliches, Apple’s lossless music plans, weird-ass dreams, and the return of the single greatest food mascot in the history of food mascots, and the history of why he wasn't around for a while! If you, too, want to read the article eD! references from The Washington Post about the return of The Noid, it’s right here, you goobers.
It’d Be Just as Cool to Call It “Dumb Dumb”
June 14, 2021 16:00 - 1 hour - 41.7 MBeD! and Jeff discuss all the goings-on from the WWDC keynote last week, reverse tramp-stamps, eD!’s history with cars, and dumb fitness routines! Also, eD! mentioned that you could find information on the brouhaha with his email service, HEY, at The Verge, but we all know you’re not going to look it up yourself, so you can just click that link to get to it. You’re welcome, you lazy jerks!
We All Hate “Grease”
May 14, 2021 16:00 - 26 minutes - 19 MBeD! and Jeff discuss beard coloring, a shared hatred of a beloved movie musical, and dad stereotypes! Also, eD!’s been to a real weird supermarket, extremely dangerous meatloaf, Jeff loves some hard seltzer, and delight at our new hobby, corrupting the children of Canada!
Dance, Puppets, Dance!
May 07, 2021 16:00 - 31 minutes - 22.1 MBeD!, Jeff, and Dave discuss bullshit holidays, a new theme for Dave’s News Corner, and the latest installment of Tales of the In-Laws, “The Day The Lights Went Out”! This is also a continuation from Cucumbers on the Moon, so for those of you who messaged me to say Jeff’s joke at the end of that episode wasn’t good enough to end on, now you get why I did it, Sandy.
The Davest Story Ever Told
May 05, 2021 16:00 - 31 minutes - 22.1 MBeD! and Jeff talk about Jeff’s new computer, and, in honor of Dave’s completion of another lap around the sun, regale you once again with the story of Dave’s 21st birthday! Also this episode was recorded before Prince Philip died, so our jokes about how terrible he looked are only somewhat tasteless, not completely tasteless, which is a fun change of pace for us.
Cucumbers on the Moon
April 30, 2021 16:00 - 25 minutes - 17.7 MBeD!, Jeff, and Dave discuss how many iPhone chargers is too many, Jeff and Dave’s experience getting the COVID-19 vaccine, and pillows made for giant-ass heads! We also talk about that U2 album that no one wanted that Apple gave us all, because y'boys do not let shit go!
A Moment of Silence for eD!’s Apple Card
April 22, 2021 16:00 - 53 minutes - 37.5 MBeD! and Jeff talk about all the going's on at Apple's Spring Loaded event, and gadzooks they're gonna spend so much money. They also talk about Jeff's 3-year-old's first outing with her kickball league and Jeff's 3rd grader playing lacrosse, but let's be honest, you're really here for the Apple stuff, but whatever we have lives outside of shiny new crap, too! (Well, Jeff does. eD!, not so much.)
The Snyder Cut
April 06, 2021 16:00 - 4 hours - 176 MBIn A Christmas Moose, eD! mentioned that he had a few episodes that he had yet to finish editing from the end of 2020 that he would finish up and release "soon". But, if 2020 showed us anything, it's that time has no meaning, so "soon" can be whenever we want it to be and, in this case, it's now! A list of some of the hot and still very topical subjects discussed: Presidential debates! Considering watching "Ted Lasso"! Dong clamps! eD! not having watched "Ted Lasso"! Picking up a recen...
Unnecessary Consideration of Root Vegetable Honorifics
March 29, 2021 16:00 - 47 minutes - 33.4 MBJeff has binged a new show that he's ashamed of! Cyclists being assaulted by nature! Tales of the In-Laws! And a discussion on how no one should give a damn about Potato Heads, there's more important shit going on if you didn't notice! We also talk about breakthroughs in Reese's Peanut Butter Cup technology, cookie considerations, awkward Google searches eD! is not going to do, and Dave's life is in eD! and Jeff's hands, so he's probably screwed! And since there's no reason why you wouldn'...
The Rom-Com Appreciation Society
March 26, 2021 16:00 - 39 minutes - 27.4 MBeD!, Jeff, and Dave discuss their shared love of the rom-coms on Netflix and The Hallmark Channel, Dave shares a Tale of The In-Laws, eD! and Jeff listen to a Dave's News Corner about illegal lunch meat, and all agree that olive loaf is weird! Also, eD! finally watched "Ted Lasso" and makes Jeff wait until the end of the episode to talk about it because, let's be honest, occasionally eD! is a complete dick.
The Upside-Down
February 26, 2021 17:00 - 49 minutes - 34.2 MBeD! and Jeff are joined by the newly-married Dave and Lisa to discuss their wedding, their honeymoon, Dave's incredible dance moves, manicures and pedicures, and other horrors that the mind can barely comprehend!
Mawwage!
February 09, 2021 17:00 - 29 minutes - 13.6 MBRight when this podcast got started, Dave, our producer and all-around dumb dumpster-fire of a friend, met Lisa, a woman whose only fault is that she decided to continue to date Dave this whole time, despite that she could do way, way, waaaaaaaaaaay better. In 2019, Dave finally got his shit together and decided to ask Lisa to marry him. Despite our continued warnings about what sort of a terrible idea that'd be, Lisa accepted. In 2021, despite the non-stop Get Out of Bad Choices Free card...
A Christmas Moose
December 30, 2020 17:00 - 36 minutes - 16.9 MBeD! and Jeff discuss "Big Mouth", “The Mandalorian”, the live-action Spider-Verse, the AirPods Max, a brief review of Apple Fitness+, and eD! makes his Annual Sports Joke! Also “reindeer” are now “Christmas Moose”. Deal with it, asshole.
Chip and the Gizmos
November 16, 2020 17:00 - 51 minutes - 23.7 MBeD! and Jeff talk about the 2020 presidential election, excellent coloring books you should buy, and all the stuff announced at Apple’s “One More Thing” event! Since only a massive idiot wouldn't want this, and we all know you're not a massive idiot, you can pick up the Columbo Day coloring book eD! mentions on Etsy here. It's $3, don't be an ass-face and pick one up for yourself!
Just Take All Our Money, It’s Fine
October 15, 2020 16:00 - 54 minutes - 24.9 MBeD! and Jeff talk about everything that happened at the “Hi, Speed” Apple Event, and spend a moment mourning our bank accounts come November 6th. They also answer all the burning questions you probably had after the event ended: Will eD! and Jeff be buying a HomePod mini? (Yes, c'mon now.) Did Apple do enough with the iPhone 12 to convince them to upgrade? (Yes, they announced it, the bar isn't exactly high.) Is eD! still bitter about the iPad mini not getting an update last month? (Not ...
The Jungle Cat in the Room
October 12, 2020 16:00 - 28 minutes - 13.2 MBeD! and Jeff talk about Chadwick Boseman, Sabretooth casting rumors, and singles from movie soundtracks that are very good!
Blue It
September 28, 2020 16:00 - 57 minutes - 26.5 MBeD! and Jeff talk about all the happenings at the "Time Flies" Apple Event, and discuss the Microsoft Surface Duo! Also, technically this episode is made in partnership with Microsoft, or sponsored by Microsoft, or something like that? We explain it in the episode, and hopefully that makes the FTC less likely to smack eD! around!
200th Episode Extravaganza!
September 21, 2020 16:00 - 25 minutes - 11.9 MBHaving done this podcast for 197 more episodes than anyone ever thought they would, eD! and Jeff bring Nearly Coherent back to its roots: spending a bunch of time making fun of Dave, who finally accounts for where the hell he's been all this time, and marveling at the quality of the Dave's News Corner story he brought with him! If you have any follow-up questions about Dave's News Corner, please direct them to @DaveintheStudio on Twitter.
Talking Aboot Stuff
September 07, 2020 16:00 - 30 minutes - 14.2 MBeD! and Jeff talk with the podcast’s #1 Fan, Sandy, about Nova Scotia, Canadian music, awkward injuries, and embarrassing YouTube channel-subscription accidents that certain people won’t ever live down! We also don’t mention our unplanned hiatus at all, since this was recorded before that happened, so you’ll have to leave that mystery on the back burner for now — sorry, people who complained about waiting for a new episode to us on Twitter and are demanding explanations!
An Extremely Subtle Allegory
August 03, 2020 16:00 - 29 minutes - 13.7 MBeD! tells a story that’s been haunting him since childhood, Jeff breaks our brains with “Jeopardy!” facts, they talk about how weirdly high the bar is for what counts as news now, and reactions to the deal between AMC Theaters and Universal Studios! If you want to see the web comic that eD! talked about -- and if you don’t you’re a damn fool -- they’re all right here: Alien Cadets 1 Alien Cadets 2 Alien Cadets 3
Ka-CHING
July 29, 2020 16:00 - 29 minutes - 13.7 MBeD! and Jeff discuss being gnarled old men, home massage equipment, Funko Pop! figures, and purchases they’ve made they might have wanted to spend a little bit more time thinking about! In the episode, eD! mentions a thing that he’s going to include a picture of, but since that’d spoil what’s coming, we’ve hidden it below!
Bad-Bad Songs, Good-Bad Movies
July 27, 2020 16:00 - 25 minutes - 11.9 MBeD! and Jeff discuss terrible songs to have stuck in your head, a "Dave" that doesn't suck, a behind-the-scenes look at how Nearly Coherent gets put together, and rumors about future “Fast and Furious” movies!
That’s a New Record
July 13, 2020 16:00 - 30 minutes - 21 MBeD! and Jeff discuss buddy movies they want to see, inflatable hot tubs, "Black Panther 2" rumors, and totally lose track of what the hell is going on real quick. Fun Behind-the-Scenes Fact: At one point, we talk about how we're technically not making fun of Dave behind his back because he has to listen to these episodes to edit them before we publish them, but this week Dave's away, so this is the one episode he didn't edit before we put it out, so I guess we were making fun of him behind ...
You Got Doodie Hands
June 29, 2020 16:00 - 47 minutes - 21.8 MBeD! and Jeff get all nerd-horny over everything announced at WWDC. It’s real steamy, folks!
Critical Mass
June 22, 2020 16:00 - 34 minutes - 24.1 MBeD! and Jeff discuss what's going on right now, and sincerely hope they didn't totally blow it. If you're looking for ways to help, there's resources here. Wanna watch the Dave Chappelle special we talk about? Here's a link, as promised.
One Lie, Two Very Different Reactions
May 27, 2020 16:00 - 30 minutes - 14 MBeD! and Jeff talk about Apple and Google’s COVID tracing API, the Snyder cut of “Justice League”, and chain restaurant delivery shenanigans!
The Ol’ Bah-Fooey
May 13, 2020 16:00 - 28 minutes - 13.2 MBeD! and Jeff discuss eD!’s latest COVID-related dilemma, new MCU casting rumors, and updated Disney Plus release dates eD!’s very excited about. Wanna get the memory foam tips eD! and Jeff discussed for the AirPods Pro? You can preorder them here, pals!
What Becomes of eD!?
May 06, 2020 04:00 - 24 minutes - 11.3 MBeD!, Jeff, and Val discuss burger concerns, a story adjacent to Val’s incredible dating history, an excellent anniversary, and a follow-up to a story we forgot to talk about last week! You can see the Instagram post of eD!'s dog, Sunshine, that Jeff was referring to in the episode here. It's honestly very good.
A Jerk, But The (Mostly) Lovable Kind
April 29, 2020 16:00 - 30 minutes - 41.4 MBeD! and Jeff discuss the iPad Pro Magic Keyboard, analysis paralysis, and as-yet-undiscovered Easter eggs (cinematic, not literal)! Wanna watch the video Jeff's talking about? We got you, buddy! Wanna get one of the sweet iPad Pro screen protector's eD! wouldn't shut up about? We live but to serve!
(Mostly) Avoiding the Negative!
April 22, 2020 16:00 - 30 minutes - 14 MBeD! and Jeff discuss the iPhone SE, rumors about the iPhone 12, a television show they can agree is great, and almost avoid all discussion of COVID-19 entirely!
The Florida of Podcasts
April 15, 2020 16:00 - 24 minutes - 11.1 MBThe iPhone SE and the new iPad Magic Keyboard were announced this week! On a Wednesday! The day after we record! So we don’t talk about them at all! FUN!
That’s Not How You Use a Phone
April 08, 2020 16:00 - 27 minutes - 12.8 MBeD! and Jeff talk Wisconsin voting, ridiculous COVID-19 purchases, conspiracy theories, and Jeff’s newfound personal growth!
Embarrassing All Our Children
April 01, 2020 16:00 - 30 minutes - 14 MBeD! and Jeff talk about the worst news of the week, embarrassing Jeff’s kids with threats of TikTok, and some edgy commentary on root vegetables!
Such a Bumpkin
March 25, 2020 16:00 - 28 minutes - 13.3 MBeD! and Jeff discuss the 2020 iPad Pro, excellent new offers from streaming services at the moral center of the internet, and their preferences in chicken preparation.
Sleepytime Meth
March 11, 2020 16:00 - 28 minutes - 13.4 MBeD!, Jeff, and Val discuss “Love Is Blind,” Popeye, and new sleep aids!
Dime a Dozen Folk
March 04, 2020 17:00 - 28 minutes - 13.1 MBeD! and Jeff discuss internet arguments, the Flat-Earth theory, Netflix shows, and new Twitter followers! Also, hey, follow @jrismoney on Twitter. Jeff needs this, gang.
The Juwanna Mann Standard
February 26, 2020 17:00 - 25 minutes - 11.8 MBeD! and Jeff discuss Jeff’s luxurious beard, talk about the movie eD!'s cousin wrote, Standing Up, Falling Down, and become very excited about a new smartphone case eD! can’t stop thinking about. You can get Standing Up, Falling Down on iTunes, Amazon, Vudu, and on whatever your local on-demand video streaming service of choice is, I'm not looking up the links for all of them, who's got that kind of time? You can also see the Happy Fun Time Phone Case here! You'll never forget it!
Jeff 2024
February 19, 2020 17:00 - 27 minutes - 12.6 MBeD! and Jeff discuss Valentine's adventures, the price of trumpets, terrible Twitter takes, and things that could tank Jeff’s theoretical political campaign!