MM179 - Time to Apologize

Don’t read too much into the title. We are not asking you to apologize to us. Instead, we consider the time it takes for other people to apologize to us and whether or not we allow them the opportunity.

[INTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Welcome to Morning Mindset. A daily dose of practical wit and wisdom with a professional educator & trainer, Amazon best selling author, United States Marine, Television, and Radio host, Paul G. Markel. Each episode will focus on positive and productive ways to strengthen your mindset and help you improve your relationships, career goals, and overall well-being. Please welcome your host; Paul G. Markel.

*Professor Paul*

Hello, and here we go again with one more Morning Mindset podcast and thank you once again for joining me and being a part of the experience, and thank you. If you are one of the many people who has recommended and or shared this podcast with someone else good job good job. If you read the title to today's episode you may have assumed you know, what happens when we assume right you may have made an assumption as to what it was all about or what I was going to be talking about the title is time to apologize and you may have been thinking.

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That I am going to instruct you to say that you're sorry. I'm going to tell you that it is time for you to apologize, and while that may be true that may actually be the case that actually is not what I'm going to talk about today. Now when I was younger as I age, I think I have mellowed a little bit. I think I in some areas of my life. I have gained more patients and I will say that in some areas of my life. I actually have less tolerance now for stupidity, I believe than I once did. I have less tolerance now for ignorance or deliberate stupidity or just you know nonsense then I did when I was younger.

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As I used to you know, you give people the benefit of the doubt and you're like, oh, I'm sure that what they really meant was and that now that I'm older I realize that there are some people that are just deliberately stupid and I don't have time for that. But when it comes to having some patients when I was younger, I tended to be more reactionary as younger people do a little bit more hot-headed and if someone.

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Wronged me someone did me wrong. Essentially. I was done with that person, and that was it. You know F you I'm done with you if this person have fat and so forth. I was finished. That was it. They weren't getting a second chance. I wasn't going to stick around weight from to say they were sorry.

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That was it. Now, we can't always do that. There may be someone in your life that you want to stay in your life. However, that person has wronged you that person has hurt you that person has taken advantage of you that person has done something that is wrong, right? So you can say I mean you can be like like I was and like many younger people and the moment that person has done you wrong.

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You're like F you I'm finished with you. You can go to hell and that's it. I'm done. You're dead to me. You can't do that and I have many times but we also. As we mature or as we look at our lives from a more mature aspect for that. We need to realize that there may be some people that have wronged us that we don't want to immediately broom from our lives that we don't want to immediately eject from our lives and say you can go to hell and you're dead to me and I'm never going to speak to you again.

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But how do we mend those relationships now? You say “Well, I'm not the one who's wrong Paul. They're the one who's wrong” and I'm not going to you know, I'm not going to accept the burden for their wrong and I'm not asking you to I'm not asking you to accept the burden. I'm not asking you to take blame or accept blame for what someone else did to you.

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But what you may. Want to do or you may need to do if you still want this person to be a part of your life or in your life in some form or fashion or let's say you are in a business relationship or you're in a business and you have relationships with many people and one of the people that you've been working with for a long time does something wrong?

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They say something wrong or they do something or they do something to violate your trust or what have you and you can say, you know, what then go to hell. I'm finished with them or. what you can do is take the time to let them apologize. Sometimes people do things wrong. They realize that they are wrong.

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But it takes him a while. But if, say you're someone, someone says “Go to hell, you're dead to me. I'm finished with you. I don't ever want to talk to you again. See you again, smell you again, anything.” Then they don't have time to apologize, many people are very self-involved and they may not realize until later that they were wrong, or how wrong they actually really were, and they need time to formulate that apology.

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They need time to apologize. But if your initial reaction is "Go to hell, you're dead to me." Then there is no more time. That's it. Now I'm not telling you to be a doormat and I'm not telling you to let people walk all over you or to let people use you or abuse you it's not what I'm saying at all but I'm saying as you mature sometimes, you know, even though you've been wronged even though someone has taken advantage of you has done something, you know wrong and you know what that is.

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I don't need to tell you. Sometimes you might just need to step away from it. Take some deep breaths. You know, as I said, the younger me would have been you can you can go to hell Fu and you don't talk to me like that. You don't do that, and that's it. It's over with, and you can do that. but sometimes especially if you're talking about a situation where this person has been in your life or around your life or you've been doing business with them for a long time.

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You may want to give them the opportunity to stay in your life or in your good graces. Now that might not happen. There may be people that are just they just don't care. They don't care about you and I care about your feelings there. They're all wrapped up in themselves and everything is about them and if that's the case. Alright, if that's the case then bravo, get him out of your life. But if your first reaction is to tell that person to go to hell and they're dead to you and whatever phrases you'd like to use then they will never have the time to apologize and sometimes occasionally we need to do that.

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We need to give people time to apologize. Alight, ladies and gentlemen, that is it for today. Thank you very much for joining me for yet another episode of Morning mindset. If you'd like to dig in a little bit deeper you can you can go to MorningMindsetPodcast.com. That is an actual website, and if for some reason your favorite podcast player is not working that day. You can always go to Morning Mindset podcast.com and find the episodes there. We have a gear store.

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You can get a really cool coffee mug, you can get autographed copies of the book or if you'd like, you know, the Christmas season the time of giving is fast approaching us and there may be someone in your life. But you believe could benefit from the Morning Mindset a positive and productive way to live your life, and if that's the case pop on over to Amazon order yourself up a prime paperback copy of the book and gift it for Christmas. What a cool person. You would be if you did that. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I am your host Paul Markle and I will talk to you again real soon.

[OUTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Thank you for spending time with us today. To get show notes, submit a topic request, for more from your host Paul G. Markel, visit MorningMindsetPodcast.com. That’s MorningMindsetPodcast.com. Please leave a review of this podcast on your favorite podcast player, we appreciate your time & effort, and we look forward to reading your honest feedback.