The Unlearning Process

The mission of Modern Dadhood is to meet and learn from dads whose fatherhood experiences are different than our own. In this episode, guest Stephen Stratton gives us some new perspective and helps us realize the transgender taboo we grew up with doesn't exist in the same way for our kids. If we can bypass the stubborn notion that we might offend someone by asking the wrong question, we might find there’s a ton we have in common simply by being present, engaged dads.


Adam begins Episode 12 by recalling the recent “sweetheart dance” he attended with his kindergarten-aged daughter, and how it differed from their first time attending last year. The guys introduce guest Stephen Stratton, a stay-at-home father of one, who happens to be transgender. Stephen  shares his compelling story from his childhood as a “tomboy” in rural Connecticut, through planning his own family, becoming a father, and raising his son with his partner Josh. Stephen candidly answers questions about his own story, about his son who was assigned female at birth but now chooses “he/him” pronouns, and about how to have a conversation with a transgender person without  being disrespectful, pissing them off, or sounding like a dope. Topics include:

•  Getting past the instinct to avoid people who are different than you
•  Language and questions that are appropriate (or inappropriate) regarding transgenderism
•  Discovering as a teen that the feelings Stephen had been experiencing had a name, and that it was an option he could pursue
•  Stephen’s desire to be a parent, and his personal goals surrounding fatherhood
•  Being a pregnant man (without turning heads!)
•  How a transgender person handles discovering the sex of his baby
•  How to talk to our kids about sex/gender/the transgender community
•  Our children don’t have the same baggage that we have from our childhoods when this was considered much more taboo

The show wraps up with a riveting “So That’s a Thing Now” (spoiler alert... the twin boy toddlers are fighting! When will it stop?) and the guys gush about Marc’s cherished  Hopsulator Trio by BrüMate. Turns out, Modern Dadhood listeners can get 15% off your first order by using the code “DADHOOD”. So use it!

Thanks to Tanner at Portland Pod for hosting and engineering our session with Stephen.
 

Links:

Stephen Stratton's blog
BrüMate (use code DADHOOD at checkout!)
Portland Pod
Red Vault Audio
Caspar Babypants
Spencer Albee
Bubby Lewis