Matt D’Elia Is Confused
128 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 3 years ago - ★★★★★ - 1.1K ratingsWith guests that range from icons to outliers, host Matt D’Elia talks to anyone who can help him understand things that confuse him, make him laugh, or just plain trouble him. If you ever look out at the world and think “what the hell is happening?” then this podcast is for you.
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Episodes
Sunday Service™ | Pride Month In God’s Country
June 13, 2021 21:30 - 47 minutes - 32.7 MBHappy Pride Month to all— even the asshead Christians who are extremely mad about the existence of Pride Month! Listen in as Pastor M. Diesel tackles homophobic pastors, breaks down the illogical anticipation Christians have for the always-coming but never-actually-arriving ‘rapture’, and illustrates the absurdity of those who claim to communicate with god.
Sunday Service™ | Prayers & Praying
June 06, 2021 21:00 - 37 minutes - 25.9 MBIn today’s Sunday Service, Pastor M. Diesel examines the practice of praying— and finds that it does not require a rigorous examination to come to the conclusion that praying does not work at all ever under any circumstance! Listen now as Pastor M. breaks down all the ways in which praying is complete and utter bullshit! In the name of the father, the son, and the holy podcast— (K)A(Y)MEN!
Disagreements & Dumbness
June 04, 2021 23:10 - 42 minutes - 29 MBIn today’s episode Matt does his best to convince you that disagreeing is not only fun— but also life-affirming. Other topics include but are not limited to: the age of nonsense we are currently living through, some of the more nonsensical news stories and developments over the course of the past week (including the single most nonsensical thing that has happened in recent memory)— and the fine line between acceptable and unacceptable levels of dumbness.
Sunday Service™ | Civil Wars & Rods of Iron
May 30, 2021 21:22 - 51 minutes - 29.5 MBDon’t pray— just hit play! ⛪️🙏🏽🙏🏾🙏🏿⛪️
Sex Tapes & Lab Leaks
May 27, 2021 23:30 - 46 minutes - 31.8 MBIn today’s episode Matt covers a wide variety of topics, from Scott Stapp’s sex tape (and the implications thereof) to the possibility that COVID escaped from a lab (and the implications thereof). Enjoy!
Sunday Service™ | Bad Metaphors & The Bicameral Mind
May 23, 2021 20:00 - 39 minutes - 22.4 MBIt’s that time again! ⛪️🙏🏼🙏🏽🙏🏾🙏🏿🛐
Gross Advertising & The Age Of Insecurity
May 21, 2021 22:00 - 48 minutes - 28 MBIn today’s episode Matt touches on a wide range of topics, including but not limited to: the ‘me rn’ mugs that are FINALLY for sale at the MDIC merch store (weeeeeee!), his experience getting Vax Shot #2, some truly fucking disgusting advertising campaigns for ‘male grooming’ products— and in the second half of the episode he breaks down an extremely thought-provoking article written by former (and hopefully soon-to-return) MDIC guest Freddie deBoer, about the underlying causes of what Freddi...
Sunday Service™ | Mean Christians & The Name ‘Todd’
May 16, 2021 22:11 - 40 minutes - 28 MBIn the name of the father, the son, and the holy podcast— AMEN! Rejoice, for this week’s Sunday Service™ with Pastor M. Diesel is upon us! 🙏🏼🙏🏽🙏🏾🙏🏿
Vaccine Skepticism & Eric Clapton
May 14, 2021 21:18 - 41 minutes - 28.2 MBThis week’s MDIC, comin’ at ya— just in time for the weekend! As the title suggests, Matt covers what the conspiratorial anti-vax crowd is up to lately, Eric Clapton’s new shitty anti-lockdown song— and much more!
Vacfine Skepticism & Eric Clapton
May 14, 2021 21:18 - 42 minutes - 39.4 MBThis week’s MDIC, comin’ at ya— just in time for the weekend! As the title suggests, Matt covers what the conspiratorial anti-vax crowd is up to lately, Eric Clapton’s new shitty anti-lockdown song— and much more! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Sunday Service™ | Prophecies & Meth
May 09, 2021 21:30 - 47 minutes - 32.6 MBA particularly ungodly Sunday Service™ with Pastor M. Diesel!
Old Movies & Anti-Vaxxers
May 06, 2021 22:50 - 45 minutes - 31.2 MBIn this episode Matt touches on a wide array of topics, including but not limited to: what it’s really like being M. Diesel, the importance of catchphrases, the genius of Little Richard, why Hollywood insists on remaking and rebooting movies instead of coming up with new ideas, why couples in old movies sleep in separate beds, the hypocrisy of the anti-vax crowd, why Tucker Carlson still sucks a whole lot, and more!
Sunday Service™ | Blood Of Jesus!
May 02, 2021 21:29 - 46 minutes - 32.2 MBAnother Sunday Service™ with Pastor M. Diesel! Praise be! ⛪️🙏🏼🛐
Algorithms & Virtue Signaling
April 30, 2021 02:18 - 42 minutes - 29 MBMatt outlines a handful of things that have been confusing and / or upsetting him lately, including but not limited to: how / why the Apple News app is so terrible, how / why many major corporations could have (but did not) help us get through the pandemic faster and safer, how / why social media & search engine algorithms are ruining our lives instead of making our lives better, how / why people who virtue-signal about the COVID-19 vaccine AND those who constantly rail against people who vir...
Sunday Service™ | Baby Jesus & The Academy Awards
April 25, 2021 23:15 - 1 hour - 40.7 MBAnother fresh Sunday Service™ for you! Full of insane prophets making insane prophecies, a literal breakdown of the supposed ‘immaculate conception’ of baby Jesus, and of course some bangin’ ass church music. Plus, at the end of the episode Matt covers the Oscars, why he didn’t see any of the nominated movies, and lets us in on the sick ass shit he HAS been watching over the course of the last year.
Sunday Service™ | Jesus Is A Friend Of Mine!
April 18, 2021 20:11 - 1 hour - 38.8 MBAnother Sunday Service™! “The best Sunday Service™ yet!” — Matt D’Elia (aka Pastor M. Diesel)
DMX & Khloe Kardashian
April 10, 2021 23:30 - 1 hour - 36.3 MBIn this episode Matt touches on a wide range of topics, including but not limited to: DMX’s untimely passing, Khloe Kardashian’s run-in with the impossible beauty standards she has helped create, why all dogs should be at least a little fat, Yelp reviews and what they say about our immense loneliness, superhero movies and why everyone still watches them even though they’re the same thing over and over and over again— and Jordan Peterson’s ‘rules for life’ (which upon closer inspection are not...
Sunday Service™ | Easter Edition
April 04, 2021 20:15 - 1 hour - 38.5 MBHE IS RISEN! Matt’s back with his second consecutive Sunday Service™, right on time for Easter. Celebrate this extremely holy day the right way... fuck church, listen now! 🙏🏼🙌🏼🙏🏼
Sunday Service™ | The Return
March 28, 2021 23:23 - 1 hour - 36.7 MBHALLELUJAH, Sunday Service™ is back! 🙌🏼👼🏼🙌🏼
Marijuana & Bruce Springsteen
March 20, 2021 00:19 - 1 hour - 37.6 MBIn this episode Matt discusses the horrifying domestic terrorist attack that took place in Georgia earlier this week, and breaks down one of the major reasons there’s been such a massive uptick in hate crimes against Asian-Americans over the course of the last year. (Hint: the guy who coined the race-baiting term ‘China Virus’ has something to do with it.) Other topics Matt covers in today’s episode: what happens to our brains as we get older, what it really means to be ‘middle aged’, the exa...
Guilty Pleasures & The Royal Family
March 11, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 34.7 MBIn this episode Matt examines the term ‘guilty pleasure’ and what people really mean when they say it, solves the age-old problem of two people faced with a decision that both people insist the other person should make, questions why anyone admires (or even cares about) the British monarchy anymore— and on the subject of The Royal Family, Matt also spends a good amount of time covering the global response to the news of their racism towards Meghan Markle, which was put on full blast by Meghan...
Flyin’ Ted & Mr. Potato Head
February 26, 2021 22:30 - 1 hour - 37.9 MBIn this episode Matt rips into Lyin’ Ted Cruz, Matt’s least favorite living person, for running away to Cancun as a brutal snowstorm rocked the state of Texas. Then, after passionately eviscerating Flyin’ Ted Cancruz, Matt covers several other subjects as well, including but not limited to: Joel Schumacher’s film ‘The Number 23’, the high-level dumbness of people who believe in ‘numerology’, toy maker conglomerate Hasbro’s triggering of a bunch of rightwing lemmings by innocuously dropping th...
Snow & 90s Music
February 18, 2021 22:15 - 1 hour - 38.9 MBIn this episode Matt examines the effects 90s pop music had on the vulnerable minds of those coming of age at that time— while still finding a way to appreciate the music. Listen in as he breaks down the lyrics, deeper meanings, and longterm implications of some of that decade’s major hits— from Snow’s ‘Informer’ to Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ to Next’s ‘Too Close’, as well as many more. He is also still a detective and (basically) solves the Elisa Lam case, which is making headlines all over again tha...
Tom Brady & Shaggy
February 10, 2021 02:30 - 1 hour - 34.8 MBIn this episode Matt touches on a wide array of subjects, including but not limited to: the Super Bowl, Super Bowl commercials, people who love Super Bowl commercials, Tom Brady, John Travolta, the unbelievable assholery on display in Shaggy’s massive 2000 hit single ‘It Wasn’t Me’— as well as the surprising but undeniable connection between that song’s lyrics and Donald Trump’s defense strategy for his second impeachment trial. Also— this is the 100th episode of ‘Matt D’Elia Is Confused’! Wo...
Denzel Washington & Strasbourg’s Dancing Plague of 1518
February 01, 2021 22:15 - 1 hour - 35.8 MBIn this episode Matt speaks at length about why Denzel Washington is the single greatest actor of all time despite consistently starring in truly horrendous films— and then provides a roadmap for how directors can make these movies less horrendous moving forward. Which opens up into a breakdown of Mr. Washington’s latest horrendous film (in which he yet again gives an astoundingly great performance)— THE LITTLE THINGS. Also in this episode, Matt discusses the very confusing but endlessly fasc...
Conspirituality & Its Discontents
January 26, 2021 00:00 - 1 hour - 43.2 MBMatt welcomes his first guest in several weeks— writer / philosopher Jules Evans. Jules has written extensively on ‘conspirituality’— the strange and in many ways unexpected convergence of the New Age cultural movement and the Far Right political movement— most notably his two recent and widely shared essays, ‘Nazi Hippies: When The New Age & Far Right Overlap’ and ‘Conspirituality: The Overlap Between The New Age & Conspiracy Beliefs’. He and Matt go deep on the surprisingly long history of ...
Critical Thinking & Being A Homicide Detective
January 23, 2021 01:48 - 1 hour - 38.3 MBMatt recaps the weird but uneventful presidential inauguration, shares his feelings about all the people who said and *knew* “Joe Biden will never be president” as well as the many people who STILL say and *know* “Joe Biden will never be president”, and details his new career as a cool homicide detective type of guy who closes ice-cold cases and solves long-unsolved mysteries— such as who killed JonBenet Ramsey.
Negativity & Incoherence
January 15, 2021 05:15 - 1 hour - 38 MBIn this episode Matt details his process of dealing with negativity, specifically negative feedback, then covers a few aspects of the madness we’ve seen unfold in Washington DC over the last several days, starting with the ‘insurrection’ or ‘coup’ or whatever you choose to call what happened on January 6th, the wild things we’ve learned about that day’s events since they took place, and the disparate but equally insane reactions to it from a few voices on the far right, from politicians to co...
Insane People & The Inevitable
January 07, 2021 02:00 - 1 hour - 37.6 MBMatt covers the batshit events that took place in Washington DC on January 6th, the insane and selfish people responsible for them, and the clear signs over the last few months that something exactly like this was going to happen.
New Year’s Eve & Terrorism
December 30, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 37.3 MBIn this episode Matt reflects on the unbelievably shitty year we all had, the desperately-needed money the government chose not to give us, and some of the absolutely batshit post-election rightwing conspiracy theories currently flying around on social media, including the ones concocted in response to the terrorist attack in downtown Nashville on Christmas Day (which just so happened to be carried out by a guy who unsurprisingly believed in many of the aforementioned absolutely batshit post-...
Tom Cruise’s Righteous COVID Rant & A Theory That We Are All Martians
December 22, 2020 22:00 - 1 hour - 35.7 MBIn this episode Matt covers an even wider-than-usual range of topics, including but not limited to: Matt’s parents’ dog Lenny who fended off a coyote attack and bit off the coyote’s entire tail in the process, the possibility that we are all from Mars and thus Martians, Matt’s lifelong problem receiving gifts, Jehovah’s Witnesses and their rule against ‘celebrations’ of any kind, Tom Cruise’s angry on-set COVID-related tantrum, and the bullshit ‘COVID relief’ bill congress just passed.
Cooking Shows & Actors Deciding They’re Also Singers
December 15, 2020 06:20 - 1 hour - 35.2 MBIn this episode Matt covers many topics, including but not limited to: actors who suddenly decide that they are also singers, Korean boy band sensation BTS’s depressing holiday rendition of their hit song ‘Dynamite’, Smokey Robinson’s Cameo video in which he mispronounces a word (which makes Matt cry laughing), everyone’s strange obsession with cooking shows (particularly ‘The Great British Baking Show’ and one of its hosts Paul Hollywood), and of course the totally demented reaction from Tru...
A Recipe For Seduction & The Least Confusing Event of 2020
December 08, 2020 05:08 - 1 hour - 36.3 MBIn today’s episode Matt touches on a wider-than-usual range of topics, including but not limited to: the so-called ‘War on Christmas’ that doesn’t exist even though many American Christians insist it does, Donald Trump’s ongoing insistence that he won the 2020 election even though he for sure lost, the maximally confusing yet somehow maximally sensical KFC-branded Lifetime ‘mini-movie’ called ‘A Recipe For Seduction’ (in which Mario Lopez plays COLONEL FUCKING SANDERS!) — and the surprising l...
Guys & Prophets
December 01, 2020 01:37 - 1 hour - 35.7 MBIn this episode Matt breaks down some of the wrong things men do. The list is long. Matt gets mad as he goes point by point. Then in the second half of the episode he shits on evangelical Christian ‘prophets’, with audio clips to help drive his point home.
Tucker Carlson & Aaron, The Guy Who Almost Ruined The Movie Matt Was Working On In Montana
November 23, 2020 07:20 - 1 hour - 36.9 MBMatt is back in Los Angeles! Weeeee! In this episode he talks about the guy who got COVID and almost ruined the entire movie he was working on in Montana. After detailing how much of an irresponsible asshole that guy is and how much Matt hates him, Matt covers a wide range of topics including but not limited to: Rudy Giuliani’s terrifying hair dye-streaked face, the crazy religious MAGA people who have now turned on Tucker Carlson of all people, and the kind of crazy shit YouTube does to our ...
Post-Election Recap & Dancing Like You Are Jerking Off Two Guys (Pt. 2)
November 09, 2020 02:55 - 1 hour - 37.5 MBStill holed up in a weird hotel in Montana, Matt covers the presidential election, breaks down Joe Biden’s weird victory, digs into the insanity that has ensued since Election Day— and forecasts the insanity that is still to come. He also makes up some very good brand new lyrics to The Village People’s ‘YMCA’ and plays clips of ‘prophet’ pastors losing their shit over the fact that a Trump landslide, which they boldly and confidently prophesied, did not come to pass.
Post-Election Recap
November 09, 2020 02:55 - 1 hour - 61.7 MBStill holed up in a weird hotel in Montana, Matt covers the presidential election, breaks down Joe Biden’s weird victory, digs into the insanity that has ensued since Election Day— and forecasts the insanity that is still to come. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Election Day 2020 & Dancing Like You Are Jerking Off Two Guys
November 03, 2020 18:00 - 1 hour - 35.9 MBIn this special Election Day episode, Matt shares his feelings about voting, the election, the election’s potential outcomes, how to behave if the person you voted for wins, and how excited he is that the next time he sits (or lays) down to record an episode, the election will finally be over. Matt also breaks down the way Donald Trump dances at his rallies— to The Village People’s ‘YMCA’, as though he is aggressively and gleefully jerking off two guys— and comes to a surprising conclusion ab...
Bananas In The Butt & The Electoral College
October 25, 2020 23:36 - 57 minutes - 33.1 MBMatt dedicates the first half of this episode to politics, covering topics such as what’s on Hunter Biden’s laptop, the third and final Trump / Biden debate, and the state of the 2020 presidential race with just over a week to go until Election Day. Later in the episode he moves on from politics to share his thoughts on two very different men: Jesse Lee Peterson and, unsurprisingly, Vin Diesel. Lastly, Matt touches on what the fuck he’s doing in Montana, and fills us in on how unbelievably / ...
Jon Sternfeld | Unprepared
October 19, 2020 16:40 - 1 hour - 41.3 MBWriter Jon Sternfeld joins Matt to discuss his fascinating new book, ‘Unprepared: America In The Time Of Coronavirus’, which chronicles how the pandemic unfolded, chronologically and in the words of the people handling it — from the scientists to the doctors to the politicians — without any added political or social commentary. Matt and Jon have a wide-ranging conversation about the book, its contents, how it was written, how its rare form of objectivity was achieved, what’s taken place since...
Columbus Day & The Church Of Trolling
October 15, 2020 15:43 - 1 hour - 36.7 MBIn this episode Matt wades into the controversy over Columbus Day, tells us what Christopher Columbus the man was really like, and wonders how and why we could possibly still have a national holiday named after such a person. From there he gets into a few other topics, including but not limited to: some truly bonkers conspiracy theories being pushed by the president of the United States, the annoying guy leading the massive Christian ‘protest’ gatherings all across the country right now, and ...
Joseph Stalin & The Fly At The Debate
October 10, 2020 14:39 - 1 hour - 36.2 MBIn this episode Matt shows off his new Vin Diesel soundboard, tells us why the fly on Mike Pence’s head at the VP debate made him so happy, flies into a rage about Donald Trump’s propagandistic ‘medical exam’ on Fox News, and explodes with fury over a Portland mayoral candidate’s idiotic and perplexing choice of clothing at a recent fundraising event, which featured the likenesses of legendarily terrible and murderous people such as Joseph Stalin.
Joe Pesci’s Music & Donald Trump’s COVID-19
October 06, 2020 00:30 - 1 hour - 36.5 MBIn this episode Matt breaks down Joe Pesci’s little-known musical career, reviews the absurd 1989 action film TANGO & CASH through the lens of 2020, tells us why he’s legally changing his name from ‘Matt D’Elia’ to ‘M. Diesel’, and — of course — gives you all the latest on Donald Trump’s COVID-19 diagnosis, its far-reaching fallout, and the very dumb conspiracy theories about it coming from both sides of the political spectrum.
Demented Disastrous Debacle Debate & More Vin Diesel
October 01, 2020 02:02 - 43 minutes - 24.6 MBMatt covers the first presidential debate of 2020, which was a demented disastrous debacle. Also, in a continuation of Monday’s episode, Matt talks more about his new favorite person— Vin Diesel.
Terrible Songs & Vin Diesel
September 28, 2020 20:45 - 1 hour - 37.4 MBIn this episode Matt breaks down the recent history of terrible songs that have somehow captured the world’s ear, from ‘Dynamite’ to ‘The Macarena’, and explains his theory about how this has happened despite everyone knowing these songs are absolutely fucking terrible. From there he uncovers strange truths about Vin Diesel — from his perplexing appeal to his historically fucked up speaking voice to his new career as a singer(!!!) — and then gets into a wide variety of topics, including but n...
Matthew McConaughey & The Supreme Court
September 21, 2020 23:05 - 1 hour - 36 MBIn this episode Matt breaks down something so unbelievably and overwhelmingly confusing that it actually goes all the way back around again and becomes crystal clear: the hypocrisy on display in the current battle over the sudden vacancy on the Supreme Court. Later on, he covers a few other topics as well, including but not limited to: Hitler, world history, Hollywood history, the 1980 William Friedkin / Al Pacino film ‘CRUISING’, and finally— Matthew McConaughey, his overall genius, the geni...
‘Coastal Elites’ & ‘Save The Children’
September 15, 2020 01:25 - 51 minutes - 29.5 MBIn this episode Matt shares his feelings on the fires currently ravaging America’s west coast, the immediate politicization of them, and Donald Trump’s proudly / idiotically anti-science response to those in charge of trying to stop them. From there he dives into several other issues, including but not limited to: the weirdly enduring ‘save the children’ aspect of almost all conspiracy theories, what people should really do if they actually want to ‘save the children’, HBO’s toothless and ter...
Gender Reveal Parties & 9/11
September 11, 2020 21:44 - 1 hour - 37.8 MBIn this episode Matt ruthlessly and gleefully attacks gender reveal parties and the expecting parents who host them, breaks down a powerful study about the surprising inaccuracy of our memories of particularly emotional or traumatic events, and recounts his own strange, personal (and probably inaccurate) memory of being in New York City on 9/11.
Trauma Porn & OnlyFans
September 04, 2020 01:30 - 46 minutes - 26.3 MBIn this episode Matt discusses the utterly demented new trend of TikTokers pretending to be Holocaust survivors (!!!), the larger but just-as-disturbing trend of ‘trauma porn’ on social media, the half-warranted outrage over Bella Thorne’s use of OnlyFans, and why Matt supports anyone and everyone’s desire to sign up for (and make money on) OnlyFans. Toward the end he gets into some more serious shit— the far right’s delusional attacks on a potential Biden presidency, and the Trump campaign’s...
Diapers & Dynamite
September 02, 2020 01:30 - 1 hour - 35.3 MBMatt dedicates a good portion of this episode to his complicated feelings about the enormously successful K-Pop boy band BTS— their international mega-stardom, their crazy fans, their upsetting plastic surgery, and their massive new English-language single ‘Dynamite’ (which he plays and sings along to, even though he hates it a great deal). He covers several other topics as well, including but not limited to: the maddening and deeply upsetting children’s song ‘Baby Shark’, a strange news stor...