Man Up
49 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 4 years ago - ★★★★ - 323 ratingsOn Man Up, host Aymann Ismail invites men and women to tell embarrassing, funny, and sometimes disturbing stories about their lives as they try to figure out what they still have to learn—and unlearn—about being a man. They’ll talk relationships, family, sex, and identity, trying to understand their experiences to help listeners make more sense of their own.
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Episodes
The Angry Email I Get Over and Over
April 17, 2020 22:15 - 39 minutesFor the final episode, Aymann convenes four friends to talk about the hashtag #MenAreTrash and to debate whether it’s possible to critique manhood and masculinity without bashing men as a group. Then, Aymann’s colleagues ask him questions to figure out how much he’s changed since the show began almost a year ago, and Aymann shares the most common complaint he's heard from listeners. Slate Plus members get ad-free podcasts and bonus episodes of shows like Dear Prudence and Slow Burn. Sign up ...
A COVID-19 Survivor Warns Other Men
April 08, 2020 23:45 - 30 minutesAymann tries to make sense of new polling data that shows men aren’t taking the outbreak of COVID-19 as seriously as women. First he talks to David Vega, a medical student who contracted the virus in early March after attending multiple gatherings with friends and family. Now, David says he should’ve been much more cautious, and he urges other men to learn from his mistakes. Then Aymann talks to Dr. Michael Smith, an internal medicine doctor and chief medical editor of WebMD. He says men have...
It's a Tough Time for Men Without Friends
April 02, 2020 22:00 - 32 minutesThis week, Aymann talks to Shuheng, a self-described extrovert who wishes he had more friends to talk to and commiserate with. Then Aymann hears from Slate podcast producer Ben Frisch, who talks about how he’s able to make the most of his alone time. And finally, a very socially active man named Dan explains how he’s been able to stay connected to friends all over the country and satisfy his need for close personal bonds. How has the coronavirus affected you, or a man in your life? What othe...
Single Guys Are Really Going for It Right Now
March 26, 2020 16:30 - 25 minutesAs people continue to self-quarantine, single men are still out there trying to date and, in some cases, have sex. First Aymann talks to his coworker Katie Rayford, who was hit on by two men on the same day when she was stocking up on groceries. Then he checks in with Jeremy Cohn, a man who flirted with his neighbor via drone. Then Andrew Kahn joins the show to talk about men who are still trying to meet up through Grindr right now. And finally, Denver journalist Zack Newman talks about his e...
What Women Are Learning About Men During Self-Quarantine
March 20, 2020 21:28 - 41 minutesThis week, Man Up host Aymann Ismail learns how the outbreak of COVID-19 is changing how men’s partners see them at home. What happens when a husband and wife have very different crisis modes? What do you do if your new boyfriend wants you to quarantine with him in Canada, and you don’t even live together? Aymann explores these questions, and many more, and tries to figure out how this crisis may change how we see each other in the future. How has the coronavirus affected you, or a man in y...
Why Men Who Are Sick Insist on Going to Work
March 11, 2020 10:00 - 31 minutesMan Up editor Lowen Liu explains why he’s so bad about taking sick days, even when a serious epidemic is dominating the news. But first, Slate’s culture editor Forrest Wickman lays out why he desperately wants his co-workers to go home when they show symptoms of a cold or flu. Then, Aymann talks to Mieke Beth Thomeer, associate professor of sociology at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, about why men in particular are so bad at prioritizing their own health. What makes you a work in p...
Being an American Ninja Warrior with Parkinson's
March 04, 2020 11:00 - 34 minutesVivek, a man with Parkinson’s disease, tries to get back the confidence he had before his diagnosis at age 38. To help him out, Man Up host Aymann Ismail recruits Jimmy Choi, a husband, father, ultra-marathoner, and competitor on NBC’s American Ninja Warrior. Choi was diagnosed with Parkinson’s when he was 27, but now he’s in his 40’s, and he’s managed to thrive in spite of his chronic illness. What makes you a work in progress? Do you want to talk through something you can’t quite crack rel...
The Secret to a Healthy Porn Habit
February 29, 2020 00:30 - 33 minutesA young man wonders whether his habitual porn use has negatively affected the way he thinks about sex and relationships. Can porn cause erectile dysfunction? Is it even possible to have a healthy relationship to porn? To answer those questions and more, Man Up host Aymann Ismail turns to Dr. Emily Rothman, a professor and researcher who helped develop a program to teach teenage students about porn. She explains how porn actually affects the way people view sex, and then she offers concrete ti...
Why Can't My Wife and I Pray Together?
February 19, 2020 22:15 - 32 minutesAfter years of praying in mosques that treat women’s spaces as an afterthought, Aymann tries to find an alternative. First he talks to his wife Mira about the difference between men's spaces and women's spaces during prayer. Then Imam Khalid Latif joins the show to explain the origin of gender separation in mosques and how the various ways to interpret scripture and cultural teachings can offer a solution. What makes you a work in progress? Do you want to talk through something you can’t quit...
Why Valentine's Day is a Scramble for So Many Men
February 12, 2020 11:00 - 28 minutesThis week on the show, a Texas man who struggles with romance tries to plan the perfect Valentine’s Day. But first, Aymann gets the cold hard truth about his past Valentine’s Day performances from his wife, Mira. Then he talks to psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb about the common mistakes couples make on Valentine’s Day and how to avoid them. What makes you a work in progress? Do you want to talk through something you can’t quite crack related to manhood or masculinity? Let us know, and we might...
Why Straight Bros Are So Important to Gay Guys
February 05, 2020 11:00 - 30 minutesA gay man in Maine tries to figure out how to develop closer friendships with straight men. But first, Aymann tries to understand why Sam has his heart set on those friendships in the first place. For additional help, the guys turn to Alex DeLuca, founder of the “Gaybros” subreddit, which was originally a forum for gay men who felt like they didn’t identify with mainstream gay culture. These days, Alex is critical of the mindset that spawned “Gaybros,” and in this episode, he uses the lessons...
A Black Man's Fears About Managing White Women
January 29, 2020 11:00 - 35 minutesA tech company executive named Jason feels nervous about being the only black manager in an office made up mostly of white women. He wants to create a space where people feel comfortable talking about race and gender, but he’s worried about all the biases people bring to the workplace. For help, Aymann and Jason turn to Ari Joseph, the head of diversity, equity and inclusion at Vimeo. Ari talks about all the ways men of color hold back their true identities in the workplace, and he offers tip...
Why Men Would Rather Suffer Than Ask for Help
January 22, 2020 11:00 - 32 minutesAymann wonders why he has so much trouble asking for help. First he sits down with his wife Mira, who paints a more detailed picture of the problem. Then Aymann turns to Dan Doty, co-founder of the men's group Evryman, who shares the benefits of accepting help from others and offers a simple technique for people who have trouble admitting weakness or inexperience. What makes you a work in progress? Do you want to talk through something you can’t quite crack related to manhood or masculinity? ...
How to Raise Sons Who Won't Send Dick Pics
January 15, 2020 11:00 - 29 minutesAymann hears from Maria, a mother in Norway who’s worried about raising her two young boys in the #MeToo era. She admits that she originally wanted girls and now wants to make sure her boys grow up to be respectful, empathetic men. For help, Aymann and Maria turn to Shehnaz, a New Jersey mother and restaurant owner who raised two sons that she couldn’t be more proud of. Shehnaz offers parenting tips and explains the importance of communication, trust, and disrupting gender norms. What makes ...
What You Lose When You Don't Drink
January 08, 2020 11:00 - 31 minutesThis week Aymann learns about the military’s machismo drinking culture through the eyes of Claire, a young Air Force officer who’s trying to earn the trust of her peers while also giving up alcohol. First Claire talks about why drinking is so prevalent at military social events and why the social politics of drinking are so different for men and women. Then Claire and Aymann hear from Heather King, who used to be in the Air Force and made it her goal to out-drink all the men. Now she’s sober ...
Why Some Men Refuse to Do Yoga
January 01, 2020 11:00 - 31 minutesHappy New Year! To kick off 2020, we're revisiting an episode we love, where writer Terrell Starr takes Aymann to do yoga for the first time. When Terrell started doing yoga in his 30s, it opened up his mind to new possibilities of what his body could do—not to mention what he could do as a man. He realized he’d been restricting himself not only physically but mentally because of what he’d learned growing up. For this episode, he talks with Aymann about yoga, therapy, and breaking free of soc...
Why a Dad Dancing to Frozen is Still a Big Deal
December 25, 2019 11:00 - 28 minutesEarly in 2019 Ørjan Burøe had an Instagram video go viral. It showed him and his young son wearing dresses and dancing to the song Let it Go from Disney’s Frozen. The response online was mostly positive, but a handful of louder voices argued that the video was proof that traditional masculinity is under attack. This week on Man Up, Burøe talks to Aymann Ismail about how unexpected it was for the video to blow up and what the reaction says about our on-going struggle with gender norms. Then, A...
A Man Learns to Cry Again
December 18, 2019 11:00 - 35 minutesAymann talks to a college student named Sammy, who feels like he should allow himself to cry more. First, they talk about why so many men resist the urge to cry in the first place and why re-learning to cry is so much harder than expected. Then they talk to Avi Klein, a therapist who specializes in helping men get in touch with their feelings. What makes you a work in progress? Do you want to talk through something you can’t quite crack related to manhood or masculinity? Let us know, and we ...
Why So Many Men Still Dress Like They’re 16
December 11, 2019 10:00 - 27 minutesA listener named John tries to figure out how to upgrade his wardrobe. First, he and Aymann bond over their fear of taking fashion risks, and then they talk to Israel “Izzy” Bermeo, owner of the clothing shop Zero Kids. Izzy helps John and Aymann think differently about their fashion choices and shows them how to incorporate new items without looking too flashy. What makes you a work in progress? Do you want to talk through something you can’t quite crack related to manhood or masculinity? L...
A Father Tries to Talk to His Daughter About Sex
December 04, 2019 11:00 - 27 minutesAymann hears from Adam, a father who wants to talk to his teenage daughter about sex without coming off as weird, overbearing, or inappropriate. In other words, Adam wants to be the opposite of the rapper T.I., who recently said he takes his teenage daughter to the gynecologist every year to get her hymen checked. Also joining the show is Adam’s daughter, MG, who offers her dad some tips. Plus, sex educator Desiree Caro explains why these conversations are so crucial. What makes you a work...
Why Men Won't Tell You What They Want for Xmas
November 27, 2019 11:00 - 28 minutesAymann talks to former Man Up producer Danielle Hewitt and her sister to help them think of Christmas gift ideas for their dad. Also joining the show is Micky Onvural, CEO of the menswear company Bonobos. She explains why it’s so hard to shop for men and why some men have such a hard time articulating what they even want. Are you a work in progress? Do you need help with something related to manhood or masculinity? Let us know, and we might help you work through it on the show. Give us a cal...
Can a 30-Year-Old Man Change His Worst Habit?
November 20, 2019 11:00 - 24 minutesAymann makes some adjustments to his life in an effort to stop being late for everything. Joining him as a guide is Brigid Schulte, director of the Better Life Lab and author of "Overwhelmed: Working to change how we work, love and play." Brigid urges Aymann to focus on his main priorities and ditch everything else. But that turns out to be easier said than done. Are you a work in progress? Do you need help with something related to manhood or masculinity? Let us know, and we might help you ...
A Virgin in His Mid-20s Starts to Worry
November 13, 2019 11:00 - 32 minutesIn the first episode of season 2, Aymann talks to a 23-year-old virgin who's looking for dating tips in all the wrong places. To get him back on the right track, Aymann enlists the help of Andrea Silenzi, host of the hit dating podcast, Why Oh Why. Are you a work in progress? Do you need help with something related to manhood or masculinity? Let us know, and we might help you work through it on the show. Give us a call at 805-626-8707 or email us at [email protected] Learn more about your ad ch...
Help Man Up Help You!
October 31, 2019 21:04 - 2 minutesAhead of Season 2, Aymann wants listeners to get in touch and share their stories. Give us a call at (805)-626-8707, or email us at [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Aftermath of a Public Proposal
October 09, 2019 23:00 - 30 minutesFlashy public proposals are all over social media, but people seem divided over whether they’re adorable or cringeworthy. This week on Man Up, Aymann learns about two different public proposal stories and figures out whether the people involved have any regrets. First up is Honor Eastly, a musician, podcaster, and writer based in Australia. Her partner proposed to her during a big charity event with friends and family present. Then Aymann talks to newscaster Evie Allen and her husband Matt, w...
About Guys Who Insist on Paying the Bill...
October 02, 2019 21:30 - 26 minutesThis week Aymann looks back at some of his dating habits from before he was married, specifically his policy of always paying on the first date. First he talks to Sarah Crow, who wrote a piece for GQ called ‘Why You Should Always Split the Bill.’ Then Mel Magazine writer Magdalene Taylor joins the show to explain why some women, including herself, actually still want to be paid for on dates. Tell us what you think about this and other topics by leaving a voicemail at 805-626-8707 or emailing...
The Joy of Quitting Football
September 25, 2019 22:15 - 34 minutesAfter his sixth documented concussion, NFL linebacker Joshua Perry decided to retire. He was only 24, but he knew that if his brain suffered anymore trauma, it could impact his cognitive functioning down the line. This week on Man Up, Perry tells Aymann about the physical and mental toll of football and the culture that teaches players of all ages to play through the pain. Tell us what you think about this and other topics by leaving a voicemail at 805-626-8707 or emailing [email protected]. W...
How Not to Be a Reply Guy
September 18, 2019 21:30 - 30 minutesThis week Aymann talks to several women (and one man) about the phenomenon of “reply guys” where men reply to women on social media in order to pester them, correct them, or to just be noticed. First, three Slate writers compare reply guys to gnats and argue that they’re more annoying than threatening. Then Aymann talks to Scott Barolo and Shrew, the two people behind the Twitter account @9replyguys, which calls out reply guy behavior and sorts offenders into different categories. Scott even ...
The Real Threat of Video Games
September 11, 2019 23:15 - 28 minutesVideo game scholar Megan Condis joins the show to explain why white supremacists have been targeting online gamers. She says there's a specific subset of men, whose fear of newcomers in the gaming space make them attractive recruits for hate groups. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How a Drag King Parodies Masculinity
September 05, 2019 00:00 - 32 minutesPretty Rik E, a DC-based drag king, talks to Aymann about what it means to treat masculinity as a performance. Rik E is part of a group called Pretty Boi Drag, whose drag shows involve lip syncing to hyper masculine songs, dancing confidently, and sporting glued-on facial hair. In their performances, drag kings simultaneously celebrate and skewer male swagger. In the case of Rick E, sometimes they even carry their on-stage personas into their off-stage lives. Tell us what you think about thi...
The Fear of Male Birth Control
August 28, 2019 21:00 - 33 minutesAymann realizes he’s a little squeamish about the current birth control options for men. First he talks to writer Angela Anagnost-Repke, who’s been trying to convince her husband Brad to get a vasectomy. Then Dr. Paul Turek joins the show to explain what a vasectomy actually entails. Then, for a non-surgical solution, Aymann talks to Rufaro Huggins, a member of a birth control study conducted by the University of Washington School of Medicine. Huggins says he enjoys the experimental new pill ...
Becoming "Man of the House" Too Soon
August 21, 2019 22:45 - 33 minutesWhat exactly was going through Kareem Rahma’s 20-year-old head when he found out his father only had 6 months to live?As he tells it, nothing. He was entirely fixated on how the family dynamic was about to change. As the eldest sibling, as the oldest boy, he was certain that the responsibilities of his father, financial and otherwise, were his to inherit. This week on Man Up, Aymann talks with Kareem about how he may have put that pressure on himself. Tell us what you think about this and ot...
Where Mass Shootings Often Start
August 14, 2019 22:50 - 28 minutesThis week on Man Up, Aymann talks with Kim Gandy about the link between mass shootings and domestic violence. Gandy has been an advocate for survivors of domestic violence for over 30 years, so she knows better than most the cost of staying silent on the issue. She shares what she’s learned about early evidence of abuse, and what our best tools are in preventing it. Tell us what you think about this and other topics by leaving a voicemail at 805-626-8707 or [email protected]. We may fea...
My First Therapy Session, on Tape
August 07, 2019 22:30 - 30 minutesThis week on Man Up, Aymann sits down for his first-ever therapy session with psychotherapist and host of the Hey Man podcast, Avi Klein. He learns something about how he copes, and about how some therapists might be pushing men away. Tell us what you think about this and other topics by leaving a voicemail at 805-626-8707 or emailing [email protected]. We may feature you on the show. And please tell us what you think by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Podcast production by Danielle Hewitt...
The Trouble With Being an Asian Guy on Tinder
July 31, 2019 22:45 - 34 minutesThis week on Man Up, writer Eddie Kim talks with host Aymann Ismail about sexual racism, why he thinks Asian men are at a disadvantage on dating apps, and how some toxic subcultures react to that. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chefs Don’t Have to Be Jerks
July 24, 2019 22:30 - 26 minutesWhen J. Kenji López-Alt landed a job as a line cook at the elegant No. 9 Park restaurant, he wasn’t expecting to spend his first day standing in the corner with a figurative dunce hat on his head. He was being punished by the chef for incorrectly chopping the chives. He later worked at other expensive restaurants too, even spending a few weeks working for the famously cruel Gordon Ramsay, where he watched another cook have a hot pan tossed at him. Now the head chef of his own restaurant, Lópe...
Your Opinions on Her Wardrobe Are Probably Unwelcome
July 17, 2019 22:15 - 21 minutesNoor Tagouri knows better than most what it feels like to have everything she does under a close watch. Her interview in Playboy Magazine caused an international firestorm not for what she said, but for what she wore. This week on Man Up, Noor shares what she learned from being the subject of ridiculous online harassment, and teaches Aymann the consequences of imposing his opinions on others. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ...
Men Try to Attract Women in All the Wrong Ways
July 10, 2019 23:00 - 23 minutesNichole Perkins knows what straight women look for in a man. She’s a romance novel enthusiast and former co-host of Thirst Aid Kit, a podcast that focused on sexual desire and celebrity hotness. In this episode, Man Up host Aymann Ismail talks to Nichole about what male desirability means in 2019 and what he’s learned about his own attractiveness since getting married. Then Aymann asks his wife Mira what drew her to him in the first place—and what, uh, didn’t draw her to him—, and she bluntly...
An Intervention
July 03, 2019 22:26 - 25 minutesOver the weekend, Aymann was going viral on the less savory, right-wing corners of the internet. An admittedly poorly worded tweet had exposed him to an avalanche of criticism, some understandable, others sinister and racist. And when a total stranger asked Aymann for his location in a threatening way, he gave it to them. So this week, Man Up producer Danielle Hewitt staged an intervention, to help Aymann take a deeper look at himself, and ask himself why he can’t just ignore online trolls...
Why Men Refuse to Do Yoga
June 26, 2019 04:00 - 32 minutesWhen Terrell Starr started doing yoga in his 30s, it opened up his mind to new possibilities of what his body could do—not to mention what he could do as a man. He realized he’d been restricting himself not only physically but mentally because of what he’d learned growing up. This week on Man Up, he talks with Aymann about yoga, therapy, and breaking free of social limits. Read his article for The Root, “Yoga Is My Self Care: More Black Men Need to Breathe.” Tell us what you think about this ...
What Brown Men Do to Make Others Comfortable
June 19, 2019 20:39 - 25 minutesSimran Jeet Singh has worn a turban his entire life. It’s a requirement of his Sikh faith but it has also made him a target for racist harassment. This week on Man Up, Aymann and Simran share their experiences experiences and discuss how Simran’s Sikh faith has helped him navigate them. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A Black Trans Man Meets the Police Again
June 12, 2019 04:00 - 26 minutesTrystan Cotten was not prepared for the way his relationship with law enforcement would change after he transitioned in his late thirties. As he wrote in the Washington Post last year, it all came to a head when a cop pulled his gun on him after he called 911 to report an accident. Trystan talks to Aymann about the lessons he’s learned about moving through the world as a black man in America. Tell us what you think about this and other topics by leaving a voicemail at 805-626-8707 or emailin...
Men Aren’t Doing the Dishes at Work, Either
June 05, 2019 21:31 - 21 minutesIn an effort to distribute office tasks evenly, Slate’s New York office implemented a sign-off sheet for loading and unloading dishwasher—when you do it, you cross your name off. After a quick, unscientific study of the list, it’s clear that there’s a gender disparity in who contributes—and who doesn’t. The men of the office, including host Aymann Ismail, were slacking. So Man Up ambushed a few of Slate staffers to ask why they didn’t think it was their responsibility. Learn more about you...
What Hollywood Gets Wrong About Black Manhood
May 29, 2019 04:00 - 25 minutesGrowing up, Cord Jefferson never really saw himself reflected in the characters on TV. Now, he’s a script editor for shows like Master of None and The Good Place. Aymann talks with Cord about what happens when you don’t relate to the characters you’re supposed to on your television screen. Contact us about this and other topics by leaving a voicemail at 805-626-8707 or emailing [email protected]. We may feature you on the show. And please tell us what you think by leaving a review on Apple Pod...
How Kids Can Change You
May 22, 2019 04:07 - 24 minutesAymann talks to his brother, Mohamed, about how they grew up and why he's chosen a distinctly different parenting style from what they grew up with. Podcast production by Danielle Hewitt and Cameron Drews. Contact us about this and other topics by leaving a voicemail at 805-626-8707 or emailing [email protected]. We may feature you on the show. And please tell us what you think by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A Ghost Story
May 15, 2019 04:00 - 27 minutesWhat happens when you finally meet an absent father who haunted your childhood. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Let's Talk About Sex
May 08, 2019 11:00 - 23 minutesJessica Valladolid is a sex educator in New York city. Her deep friendships with boys during her formative years helped her understand how they start thinking about sex and helped set her on the path she’s on today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When Fighting Comes First
May 01, 2019 04:00 - 24 minutesEric Kelly was so successful at fighting off bullies as a kid in Brooklyn, that he grew up to become an Olympic level boxer, until a bar fight ended his career. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Introducing Man Up
March 22, 2019 19:27 - 2 minutesOn Man Up, host Aymann Ismail invites men and women to tell embarrassing, funny, and sometimes disturbing stories about their lives as they try to figure out what they still have to learn—and unlearn—about being a man. They’ll talk relationships, family, sex, and identity, trying to understand their experiences to help listeners make more sense of their own. Launching May 1st, 2019. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices