360 - How to get your kids to trust you
Mama's Daily Dose
English - October 21, 2022 08:00 - 4 minutes - 3.21 MB - ★★★★★ - 14 ratingsParenting Kids & Family Society & Culture Relationships Homepage Download Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
How do you know you can trust someone?
You (and your kids) trust people based on their actions. You trust people who follow through on their word. If you continually do what you say you are going to do, then your kids will trust you.
If you have a friend that is chronically late and says she will meet you for coffee at 9am, you most likely won't trust that she will be there at 9am.
This was shown in as young as preschoolers that when children are exposed to people that do not keep their word; they are less likely to trust and practice self control. In the Marshmallow Test, the kids did not believe, or trust, that they would actually get 2 marshmallows at the end. So why wait? Take the one now that they are guaranteed!
When your child does not expect the delayed reward or consequence to be delivered, then they are going to act rationally and do what they know they will get. If you constantly say, "this is the last song for Cocomelon and then we turn the TV off..." but you allow another song when your toddler screams...this is because they know you aren't going to follow through on your word when they scream and cry.
If you tell your child to stop bothering their brother or they do not get dessert, but you've said this before and they keep bothering their brother and they DO get dessert...then they know you won't follow through, so they keep doing it.
This is a rational response! If your kids don't trust your word, then they will do what benefits them most.
The way to get your kids to trust you is to follow through on your word. On the good and bad. The consequences and rewards. It won't be easy at first...trust me, I've been there. But when you continue to do what you say you're going to do, they will trust you.