All Behavior is Purposeful: Putting Choice Theory into Practice with Maureen Craig McIntosh EP: 84

Do you ever wonder why you or someone you know does the things that they do? In this episode, Maureen Craig Mcintosh explains how all behavior is purposeful. It’s our best attempt to satisfy one of our five basic needs. Hear as she describes what those needs are, the choices we make to fulfill those needs, and what it means to be demonstrating or receiving caring habits or deadly habits. 

Maureen shares examples of the deadly habits, and explains how they are used to control someone else to get what you want, instead of controlling your own actions. She also speaks about ‘first date’ behavior; putting your best self forward to get what you want, until it is too hard to continually maintain. 

Laura speaks to the thought that love and kindness are behaviors that we choose – and it seems that they are now principles that businesses need to teach. She mentions a book called Love Does, and describes how love is an action. The author, Bob Goff, followed up with another book called Everybody Always, which shares the idea that we should always love everyone even when it’s difficult. 

Listen as they discuss how all actions are a means to an end, but certain behaviors and habits bring more success than others. Laura and Maureen give examples from their own lives of needing to make a conscious change to the caring habits in order to become the person she wanted to be. 

Scientifically, we learn how to externally control our environment at birth. And through life, we have to adapt our behaviors to get what we want. They discuss how we have to change our behaviors and adapt in order to be our most authentic selves. 

Maureen dives into the toxic triangle, and describes the negative actions we should avoid. She and Laura also discuss relationships and how to properly navigate these difficult situations. 

Hear how these concepts can be shared with today’s youth to cultivate a happier society. Maureen and Laura speak again to the importance of shifting habits to create better, healthier reactions that help us succeed. 

Choice implies responsibility. Listen as Maureen and Laura discuss emotions and actions, and how becoming more self-aware can allow us to take control of our lives and become more empowered. 

Hear about our Five Basic Needs and how we should change how we go about achieving them as we go through life: 

Survival Belonging/Love Power Fun Freedom 

Maureen helps us clearly define Caring vs. Deadly Habits and provides examples of associated behaviors. She explains how we should display the Caring Habits, and how we should cope, even when people are displaying Deadly Habits. She helps listeners reframe their thinking: What am I getting when I act this way? How can I behave to get a more favorable outcome? 

Caring Habits:

Supporting Encouraging Loving Caring Negotiating Differences Respecting Trusting Accepting 

Deadly Habits:

Blaming Complaining Nagging Criticizing Threatening Punishing 

Resources: 

Monctonrealitytherapy.ca 

Love Does 

Everybody Alway 

About Maureen: 

Maureen is a former registered nurse with a 20+-year history of working with youth in the field of healthy sexuality, a licensed counseling specialist, certified professional coach, and Senior Faculty Member with the William Glasser International Association, not to mention a great friend of Laura for the past several years.