Look at this Mess!
86 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 2 years ago - ★★★ - 1 ratingA show dedicated to celebrating unconventionality and living life in the messy middle. Coming at unconventionality from a number of different angles, this show focuses on both living life in unconventional ways and holding unconventional views of the world. Topics of discussion include raising children, sex positivity, body image, fitness, health and wellness, feminism, archaeology, and just about everything in between.
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Episodes
A Deep Dive into the Texas Heartbeat Act
September 06, 2021 14:52 - 52 minutes - 72.5 MBIn this episode, I revisit the conversation on abortion, specifically in the United States, given the implementation of the Texas Heartbeat Act, otherwise known as the abortion ban in the State of Texas. In this deep dive I am prioritizing a fact-based discussion, and ask that the audience try to suspend feelings of anger and anguish, in an effort to promote a productive dialogue. This is challenging, and I can understand that, but if we are led exclusively by anger and raw emotion,...
Blogging, Motherhood & Abortion as Self-Care/Love with guest host Taryn Spence
August 30, 2021 13:00 - 54 minutes - 74.3 MBI invited my friend and previous guest, Taryn Spence, to join me on the podcast once again. This time we opted for a non-structured open discussion and let our interests guide us. We begin by catching up with Taryn about her new blog on Medium.com, one of the creative outlets she is pursuing. We also discuss some of the struggles and triumphs of parenting small children, and finish up with an open discussion about Taryn's decision to seek an abortion for the primary reason that it w...
Being over-sensational is hurting your cause
August 16, 2021 23:04 - 25 minutes - 35.6 MBIn this episode I focus on the recent appearance of content on social media that is over sensationalizing the current residential school burial ground investigations. I discuss where I've seen this content, and the process of my own waves of emotion associated with it. I offer my opinion on how this content affects public opinion on this very emotional issue, and the way it gaslights individuals over social media. If you have thoughts you'd like to share on this topic (or any others...
Parenting Pep-Talk
August 09, 2021 13:00 - 28 minutes - 39.2 MBIn this episode I discuss how our eldest has been experiencing some volatile emotional dysregulation recently, and offer some of the thought I have about why this happens and how I am trying to respond. I admit, I am far from perfect, but I do my best to lean into the gentle and empathetic parenting approaches I have been trying to learn since my kiddos were little. Have a listen, and if you have any input you'd like to share, you can reach me in the following ways: @kayelehkay (In...
Duty to Consult, Indigenous Monitoring in Archaeology, and other projects with guest Jordan Jamieson!
July 26, 2021 13:00 - 58 minutes - 80 MBIn this episode I interviewed my friend Jordan Jamieson who is a Lead Field Liaison Representative (FLR) for the Mississaugas of the Credit First Nation. I asked him to break down for us where the Duty to Consult originated from, what the FLR role is, and why it's important to the practice of CRM Archaeology. We also discussed some projects Jordan has undertaken on his own that will serve to enhance education across community lines, and develop further consultation, support, and exe...
Abs really are not all they are cracked up to be. Really.
July 19, 2021 22:23 - 36 minutes - 49.9 MBIn this episode I discuss my changing body, my feelings on those changes, and for the first time I outline some of the things I did not "love" about my body when it was objectively the fittest it has ever been. If you have thoughts on this, or want to offer a perspective that I have not captured here, you can reach out to me in the following ways: @kayelehkay (Instagram) [email protected] lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com Until next time, xox Kait
Confessions of an Archaeomom
July 12, 2021 13:00 - 37 minutes - 51.3 MBIn this episode I discuss the problems I am facing with my work in real time and how I am navigating a difficult financial and career situation. I explore how the cost of childcare can and does negatively impact specifically mothers entering or re-entering the work force. I also discuss the challenges I am facing in attempting to make lateral moves to a more suitable career track job/industry. If you have a similar story you want to share about, or even some advice, please feel free...
"We cancelled Canada Day; What's next?"
July 05, 2021 19:12 - 22 minutes - 31 MBIn a follow-up to last weeks episode, I reflect on what I've seen go on in the past few days surrounding the Indigenous solidarity movement. There has been a lot of activism taking place, and while I think this is great, I want to offer some cautions, context, and draw some connections between standing up for Indigenous communities and dismantling deep-seated racist, colonial mindsets. If you have any comments, questions, or concerns about this episode, or if you would like addition...
Can/should you celebrate Canada Day in 2021?
June 27, 2021 15:47 - 44 minutes - 60.6 MBIn this episode I discuss my own journey of disengaging from Canada Day, offer my views on the cancellation of Canada Day (now and in the future), and discuss the importance of early and routine exposure to Indigenous issues for Canadians. I recommend the book, When We Were Alone by David A. Robertson, as a good resource for families to spark some dialogue about Residential Schools, and encourage parents to begin thinking about what their children's formal education looks like in or...
Should a comprehensive understanding of sexuality include pedophilia?
June 21, 2021 13:00 - 51 minutes - 70.1 MBCW: This episode contains a couple of minor but specific details about child sexual abuse. In this episode I do my best to peel back some layers of confusion about this highly controversial topic and disorder. I offer my own insights and reviews of my research as well as reference to a recently published CBC Podcast series I have listed below. I ask and address the question: is our current understanding of this disorder and the ways we treat/handle it actually rooted in protecting c...
7 Switches to make to reduce household waste
June 14, 2021 13:00 - 29 minutes - 40.5 MBIn this episode I outline some of the shifts we have made in our home to prevent some common waste cycles. Some of these changes are more "extreme" than others, but perhaps there are one or two will stand out to you as good options for your own home! Have a listen and let me know if you have any thoughts or other suggestions! You can reach me at: @kayelehkay (Instagram) [email protected] lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com Products I mentioned in this episode are: https://nakeds...
Confronting Race and Racism is not Political; it is Critical
June 07, 2021 13:00 - 48 minutes - 66.3 MBCW: This episode does at times centre the experiences and feelings of myself, a white woman; it is geared toward and prescriptive to a white audience. This is not to say that anyone from a racialized and/or marginalized group is not welcome to listen, but I wanted to be clear about the content presented here in order to respect the boundaries some listeners may have in place regarding white folks discussing racism. This episode focuses on some of my experiences in confronting raci...
Perfectionism in Parenting + Modelling Reparative Communication
May 31, 2021 21:47 - 39 minutes - 54.4 MBIn this episode, I explore how perfectionism in parenting is making things much harder on us than it need be, and I offer what is hopefully a little helpful pep talk to other parents. I also go into detail about a pretty big (though pointless) fight Nic and I had recently - I explain why it happened, what went down, and how we were able to recover after, including modelling some reparative behaviours for our daughter. If you want to share your own story, or have thoughts on this one...
35. "Where can you do Archaeology around here?": Common misconceptions, de-colonizing our practice, and the technical nature of CRM Archaeology
May 24, 2021 14:01 - 47 minutes - 65.4 MBIn this episode I describe my own background in Archaeology and offer some context for Archaeology in North America, specifically Canada. I explain a little bit about the colonial roots of the profession, and offer some insights into the ways the profession is attempting to move away from exclusively Euro-centric ideologies. I also explain in detail the process of completing Archaeological assessments (in Ontario). I acknowledge that I have missed plenty of things in this episode, an...
"Where can you do Archaeology around here?": Common misconceptions, de-colonizing our practice, and the technical nature of CRM Archaeology
May 24, 2021 14:01 - 47 minutes - 65.4 MBIn this episode I describe my own background in Archaeology and offer some context for Archaeology in North America, specifically Canada. I explain a little bit about the colonial roots of the profession, and offer some insights into the ways the profession is attempting to move away from exclusively Euro-centric ideologies. I also explain in detail the process of completing Archaeological assessments (in Ontario). I acknowledge that I have missed plenty of things in this episode, a...
Name It to Tame It: Confronting Feelings of Envy and Jealousy
May 17, 2021 22:26 - 40 minutes - 55.2 MBIn this episode I discuss feelings of jealousy and envy as they have arisen over the past year and a bit. Specifically, I reveal feelings of jealousy about other women and moms progressing through their careers, while I feel like I lost a year to the pandemic. In my view, by acknowledging our uncomfortable and "ugly" feelings, we are better able to confront and address them. Listen in as I walk through some of this journey, and let me know your thoughts! You can reach me in the foll...
34. Name It to Tame It: Confronting Feelings of Envy and Jealousy
May 17, 2021 22:26 - 40 minutes - 55.2 MBIn this episode I discuss feelings of jealousy and envy as they have arisen over the past year and a bit. Specifically, I reveal feelings of jealousy about other women and moms progressing through their careers, while I feel like I lost a year to the pandemic. In my view, by acknowledging our uncomfortable and "ugly" feelings, we are better able to confront and address them. Listen in as I walk through some of this journey, and let me know your thoughts! You can reach me in the follo...
33. The Migration: No longer breaking myself into bite-sized pieces on Social Media
May 10, 2021 21:26 - 37 minutes - 51.3 MBIn this episode, I outline why I chose to begin using different profiles on some social media platforms, like Instagram. After explaining my "why", I deconstruct the concepts I began with and walk through the realization(s) that I was actually just breaking myself up into small "bite-sized" pieces. In doing this, I have alienated and confused myself. Now that I've decided to consciously try to grow my social media presence, it also makes less sense to split my "audience" in this way....
The Migration: No longer breaking myself into bite-sized pieces on Social Media
May 10, 2021 21:26 - 37 minutes - 51.3 MBIn this episode, I outline why I chose to begin using different profiles on some social media platforms, like Instagram. After explaining my "why", I deconstruct the concepts I began with and walk through the realization(s) that I was actually just breaking myself up into small "bite-sized" pieces. In doing this, I have alienated and confused myself. Now that I've decided to consciously try to grow my social media presence, it also makes less sense to split my "audience" in this way...
My teenage rebellion backfired and now I don't know how to tend a garden + How an online sexual predator shaped my life
May 03, 2021 13:17 - 33 minutes - 45.5 MBCW: This episode includes explicit discussion about an experience with an online sexual predator as a young teen. In this episode I walk through my experience growing up in a landscaping family, and how my rejection of that life, along with valuable the lessons, has contributed to my inability to care for plants of any kind (except maybe cacti). I also discuss and dissect how an experience with an online sexual predator impacted how much I was ultimately allowed to work with older ...
32. My teenage rebellion backfired and now I don't know how to tend a garden + How an online sexual predator shaped my life
May 03, 2021 13:17 - 33 minutes - 45.5 MBCW: This episode includes explicit discussion about an experience with an online sexual predator as a young teen. In this episode I walk through my experience growing up in a landscaping family, and how my rejection of that life, along with valuable the lessons, has contributed to my inability to care for plants of any kind (except maybe cacti). I also discuss and dissect how an experience with an online sexual predator impacted how much I was ultimately allowed to work with older m...
31. Growing Out Your Body Hair
April 26, 2021 12:00 - 32 minutes - 44.4 MBIn this episode I explain why I decided to grow out all of my body hair, some of my feelings on being empowered to make decisions about our own bodies, and how I have navigated finding confidence in my body exactly as it is. I discuss what effects this decision has had on my relationship, and offer a bit of advice on how to approach this issue with your partner if it something you are considering (but maybe fear or uncertainty is stopping you). If you have anything to add, or other q...
Growing Out Your Body Hair
April 26, 2021 12:00 - 32 minutes - 44.4 MBIn this episode I explain why I decided to grow out all of my body hair, some of my feelings on being empowered to make decisions about our own bodies, and how I have navigated finding confidence in my body exactly as it is. I discuss what effects this decision has had on my relationship, and offer a bit of advice on how to approach this issue with your partner if it something you are considering (but maybe fear or uncertainty is stopping you). If you have anything to add, or other ...
Feeling the Pinch: Precarious Finances One Year into COVID-19
April 19, 2021 14:19 - 35 minutes - 49.1 MBAs the COVID-19 pandemic rages on here, we have recently been feeling "the pinch" financially, and it got me thinking about how and why this is happening now. In this episode I dive into our experience of government support, job loss, being caught between having to paying for childcare but unable to work, and lots of other complicating factors that have led us to one of the most financially precarious moments in our lives. Let me know your thoughts on this one, and know that I feel ...
30. Feeling the Pinch: Precarious Finances One Year into COVID-19
April 19, 2021 14:19 - 35 minutes - 49.1 MBAs the COVID-19 pandemic rages on here, we have recently been feeling "the pinch" financially, and it got me thinking about how and why this is happening now. In this episode I dive into our experience of government support, job loss, being caught between having to paying for childcare but unable to work, and lots of other complicating factors that have led us to one of the most financially precarious moments in our lives. Let me know your thoughts on this one, and know that I feel f...
29. More on Neurodivergence
April 12, 2021 14:54 - 38 minutes - 52.3 MBTwo weeks ago I had a topic of discussion in mind, but...then my brain did its thing and the once hot on my mind topic grew cold. In this episode I run through some of the ways my brain functions a bit differently, and illustrate how this can have some detrimental effects. Maybe you will see yourself in some of the things I describe, and it will help you feel less alone. Maybe explaining things this way will help you see someone in your life differently, and you can empathize with th...
More on Neurodivergence
April 12, 2021 14:54 - 38 minutes - 52.3 MBTwo weeks ago I had a topic of discussion in mind, but...then my brain did its thing and the once hot on my mind topic grew cold. In this episode I run through some of the ways my brain functions a bit differently, and illustrate how this can have some detrimental effects. Maybe you will see yourself in some of the things I describe, and it will help you feel less alone. Maybe explaining things this way will help you see someone in your life differently, and you can empathize with t...
28. Our Engagement and Wedding Story!
April 06, 2021 14:07 - 49 minutes - 67.4 MBI took a poll in my Instagram about the topic for this week and y'all wanted to hear about our wedding! So, here you go! I went through it ALL, at least everything I could think of. What do you think - does our engagement/wedding scream 'unconventional' to you?! Let me know! You can reach me in the following ways: lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com [email protected] Until next time xox Kait
Our Engagement and Wedding Story!
April 06, 2021 14:07 - 49 minutes - 67.4 MBI took a poll in my Instagram about the topic for this week and y'all wanted to hear about our wedding! So, here you go! I went through it ALL, at least everything I could think of. What do you think - does our engagement/wedding scream 'unconventional' to you?! Let me know! You can reach me in the following ways: lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com [email protected] Until next time xox Kait
27. Confronting Institutionalized Sexism + why men need to step up
March 29, 2021 15:07 - 26 minutes - 37 MBIn this episode, I run through an experience I had with our banking institution in which I believe I was subjected to casual sexism. I discuss what this experience was like for me, and us as a family, and then tie this experience into the broader problem that other women face as well. If you have thoughts on this or a story you would like to share on the podcast, you can reach me in the following ways: lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com lookatthismesspod (Instagram) [email protected]...
Confronting Institutionalized Sexism + why men need to step up
March 29, 2021 15:07 - 26 minutes - 37 MBIn this episode, I run through an experience I had with our banking institution in which I believe I was subjected to casual sexism. I discuss what this experience was like for me, and us as a family, and then tie this experience into the broader problem that other women face as well. If you have thoughts on this or a story you would like to share on the podcast, you can reach me in the following ways: lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com lookatthismesspod (Instagram) archykait@gmail....
26. Parenting Battles and tips to stop them in their tracks
March 22, 2021 13:54 - 29 minutes - 40.8 MBWe all have times we have engaged in a "battle" with our kids and reflected on it wondering how we got there, how it got so bad etc. In this episode I discuss one particular battle we ended up in with our kids around food, and detailing how I attempted to engage in some damage control and the conversations we had following the encounter. I also offer my feelings on the pattern of rewarding ourselves/our kids with desserts only after eating the "nutritious" stuff first. Give it a list...
Parenting Battles and tips to stop them in their tracks
March 22, 2021 13:54 - 29 minutes - 40.8 MBWe all have times we have engaged in a "battle" with our kids and reflected on it wondering how we got there, how it got so bad etc. In this episode I discuss one particular battle we ended up in with our kids around food, and detailing how I attempted to engage in some damage control and the conversations we had following the encounter. I also offer my feelings on the pattern of rewarding ourselves/our kids with desserts only after eating the "nutritious" stuff first. Give it a lis...
25. My Time Management Strategies...(or lack thereof)
March 16, 2021 21:19 - 28 minutes - 39.4 MBA friend submitted a request a long time ago to explain how I manage my time/schedule and balance all of the competing components of my life. The bottom line is that I am very very imperfect at it. I fail at it a lot, and in this episode I explain that, as well as the repercussions it has/has had on my life. I can manage other people's lives easily, but mine... not so much. It's not all doom and gloom, but there is often a lot to confront where it concerns an inability to manage your...
My Time Management Strategies...(or lack thereof)
March 16, 2021 21:19 - 28 minutes - 39.4 MBA friend submitted a request a long time ago to explain how I manage my time/schedule and balance all of the competing components of my life. The bottom line is that I am very very imperfect at it. I fail at it a lot, and in this episode I explain that, as well as the repercussions it has/has had on my life. I can manage other people's lives easily, but mine... not so much. It's not all doom and gloom, but there is often a lot to confront where it concerns an inability to manage you...
It's Time to "Cancel" Cancel Culture: A Deep Dive into the Harmfulness of Cancel Culture
March 08, 2021 14:59 - 49 minutes - 68.2 MBIn this episode, I take a deep dive into how Cancel Culture works (and doesn't), and how I feel about it "running rampant" culturally. The practice seems to be doing more harm than good; in my view, we can and arguably should be using many of these situations to focus on accountability, redress, and holding space for people to grow. I am specifically focusing on the Racism recently exposed within the "Bachelor Nation" and how one ex-contestant is being "Cancelled", which is further ...
24. It's Time to "Cancel" Cancel Culture: A Deep Dive into the Harmfulness of Cancel Culture
March 08, 2021 14:59 - 49 minutes - 68.2 MBIn this episode, I take a deep dive into how Cancel Culture works (and doesn't), and how I feel about it "running rampant" culturally. The practice seems to be doing more harm than good; in my view, we can and arguably should be using many of these situations to focus on accountability, redress, and holding space for people to grow. I am specifically focusing on the Racism recently exposed within the "Bachelor Nation" and how one ex-contestant is being "Cancelled", which is further f...
My shifting mindset re. Breast Implants.
March 01, 2021 15:35 - 18 minutes - 25.8 MBMy best physical asset unequivocally per-kids was my breasts. They have been on a quite a journey over the past few years, and so has my mindset and attachment to them. In particular, my feelings on breast augmentation/implants has changed a lot. Do you have implants? How do you feel about getting/not getting them? Let me know! You can reach me at: lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com [email protected]
23. My shifting mindset re. Breast Implants.
March 01, 2021 15:35 - 18 minutes - 25.8 MBMy best physical asset unequivocally per-kids was my breasts. They have been on a quite a journey over the past few years, and so has my mindset and attachment to them. In particular, my feelings on breast augmentation/implants has changed a lot. Do you have implants? How do you feel about getting/not getting them? Let me know! You can reach me at: lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com [email protected]
Is TikTok my new best friend??
February 22, 2021 19:03 - 25 minutes - 34.9 MBMy whole life I have been told that my controversial views are not appreciated. Quite literally overnight TikTok has pushed a couple of my videos that deal with diversity and I am discovering a large community of people who are supportive and encouraging to keep going. My primary question here is: Should I be talking about this on the pod?? Let me know! You can reach me at: [email protected] lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthispod.wordpress.com Until next time, xox Kait ...
22. Is TikTok my new best friend??
February 22, 2021 19:03 - 25 minutes - 34.9 MBMy whole life I have been told that my controversial views are not appreciated. Quite literally overnight TikTok has pushed a couple of my videos that deal with diversity and I am discovering a large community of people who are supportive and encouraging to keep going. My primary question here is: Should I be talking about this on the pod?? Let me know! You can reach me at: [email protected] lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthispod.wordpress.com Until next time, xox Kait ...
21. Emotional Intelligence, Covid's impact on daycare, and some other random thoughts
February 17, 2021 21:24 - 26 minutes - 36.2 MBThis episode was recorded and released late, so it is a bit random and deals with multiple topics. I primarily focus on how I deal with my kids being in emotionally distressing situations - applying RIE principles, focusing on emotional intelligence, and allowing my sense of pragmatism to be my guide. I share a few other thoughts that popped in my head as I went. Hope you enjoy! You can reach me in the following ways: lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com a...
Emotional Intelligence, Covid's impact on daycare, and some other random thoughts
February 17, 2021 21:24 - 26 minutes - 36.2 MBThis episode was recorded and released late, so it is a bit random and deals with multiple topics. I primarily focus on how I deal with my kids being in emotionally distressing situations - applying RIE principles, focusing on emotional intelligence, and allowing my sense of pragmatism to be my guide. I share a few other thoughts that popped in my head as I went. Hope you enjoy! You can reach me in the following ways: lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com ...
Is it Mental Illness? Maybe it's Feelings.
February 08, 2021 19:00 - 37 minutes - 51.2 MBIn this episode I discuss my experience as an individual with a history of mental illness, sharing my normal emotional irregularities on social media. We have entered an age on social media where we are encouraged to show up as our authentic selves - including sharing more of our emotional range. We are also at a stage socially where we are opening up about mental health struggles - sometimes I feel that normal, temporary emotional turbulence can be confused with a much more serious...
20. Is it Mental Illness? Maybe it's Feelings.
February 08, 2021 19:00 - 37 minutes - 51.2 MBIn this episode I discuss my experience as an individual with a history of mental illness, sharing my normal emotional irregularities on social media. We have entered an age on social media where we are encouraged to show up as our authentic selves - including sharing more of our emotional range. We are also at a stage socially where we are opening up about mental health struggles - sometimes I feel that normal, temporary emotional turbulence can be confused with a much more serious ...
19. Assigning value to ourselves and our unique skills
February 01, 2021 18:51 - 25 minutes - 34.6 MBIn this episode I am confronting my lack of confidence in the skills I have built through my education and professional career. Taking leaves from work to have babies and be in school have led to some stagnation in my career. This has impacted my ability to see the value in myself, and confidently put myself out there to secure a good quality job. If you have thoughts or feelings about this or have a story you would like to tell, the best ways to reach me are: [email protected] l...
Assigning value to ourselves and our unique skills
February 01, 2021 18:51 - 25 minutes - 34.6 MBIn this episode I am confronting my lack of confidence in the skills I have built through my education and professional career. Taking leaves from work to have babies and be in school have led to some stagnation in my career. This has impacted my ability to see the value in myself, and confidently put myself out there to secure a good quality job. If you have thoughts or feelings about this or have a story you would like to tell, the best ways to reach me are: [email protected] ...
18. Thoughts on Public Education
January 25, 2021 14:00 - 35 minutes - 49.1 MBAs a follow-up to my last episode - and fuelled a little by and Instagram rant ;) - I discuss my views on education, how I plan to approach formal public education with my children, and my take on starting post-secondary education immediately after public school. If you have a story you'd like to share on the pod, or just have thoughts you'd like to share, you can reach me in the following ways: [email protected] lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com Unt...
Thoughts on Public Education
January 25, 2021 14:00 - 35 minutes - 49.1 MBAs a follow-up to my last episode - and fuelled a little by and Instagram rant ;) - I discuss my views on education, how I plan to approach formal public education with my children, and my take on starting post-secondary education immediately after public school. If you have a story you'd like to share on the pod, or just have thoughts you'd like to share, you can reach me in the following ways: [email protected] lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com Un...
17. My Story: Living with ADHD and a Learning Disability
January 18, 2021 17:19 - 37 minutes - 51.9 MBI was diagnosed as a child with ADHD and a severe Learning Disability in Math. In this episode I discuss what the diagnostic process looked like, what it all means, and how I've coped throughout my life as a student with Learning Disabilities. As always, you can find me at: [email protected] lookatthismesspod (Instagram) lookatthismesspod.wordpress.com Until next time xox Kait