Logocentrifugal 46 - Jeremy "Attachment styles with an attachment of style" Fox

First things first:

On May 7, 2019 a tragedy struck. 

Freya Larsen, who was my sister-in-law's best friend, faced her boyfriend, who held a pistol level with her forehead from approximately a foot away. 

He pulled the trigger once, and delivered Freya a fatal gunshot wound to the head.

Adding to the tragedy, she was well educated in such matters, having served as a social worker in child and family services. She knew the signs, and had even helped friends and family to remove themselves from violent and otherwise abusive relationships in the past.

Nevertheless, even after multiple incidents of physical abuse before that fateful day, she stayed in one herself, and the cost for doing so was her life.

I say this not in judgement, for it is far from my place to do so, but to highlight that even one who knew all the rules, the signs and the potential outcomes of such a relationship could find themselves within the same cycle of abuse that is far more common that anyone would like to admit.

That's why this episode of the podcast exists. 

I felt the need to honor her legacy of service, and fighting for those with no voice, by doing what I could to help educate and inform people about how these kinds of things happen, what to look for in your relationships and in those of your loved ones, how to best prevent yourself from entering into a similar situation and what to do should you find yourself already in one.

So, I reached out to my friend Jeremy Fox. He is a licensed therapist, and was already scheduled to come on the podcast, but when Freya was murdered, I reached out to him and asked if he would be alright with changing the focus of this conversation to one which would serve to help people gain a better understanding of relationships and the problems that can arise within them.

He was very gracious in his consent, and brought his thoughtfulness and expertise to the table with great care.

There are many resources which are mentioned in the show, and Jeremy was kind enough to send me a list to give you guidance on pursuing them if you're interested. You'll find that below.

I'm very grateful to Jeremy for his help in creating this episode to aid in honoring the legacy of Freya Larsen.

Be vigilant. 

Have courage.

Love well.

Want more from Jeremy?

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Email: [email protected]

And here is the promised list of resources:

Literature Review for Jeremy Fox LPC Logocentrifugal podcast appearance (5.25.19)

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find- and Keep- Love

by Amir Levine, MD and Rachel S.F. Heller, MA

I Hate You-- Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

by Jerold J. Kreisman

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder

by Paul T. Mason, MS and Randi Kreger

Words Can Change Your Brain: 12 Conversation Strategies to Build Trust, Resolve Conflict, and Increase Intimacy (“compassionate communication” model of conversation)

by Andrew Newberg, MD and Mark Robert Waldman

Resources for female abuse survivors:

https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/get-help/state-resources

Resources for male abuse survivors:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-men-who-are-being-abused.htm/

Find an EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapist:

https://www.emdria.org/page/findatherapistmain/Find-an-EMDR-Therapist-Directory.htm

Find a local chapter of NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness):

https://www.nami.org/Find-Your-Local-NAMI

Vaillant's categorization of defense mechanisms (search for further information)

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