Light Duties
90 episodes - English - Latest episode: 4 months ago - ★★★★★ - 6 ratingsWe all want to be good mums and we want to like doing motherhood. The trouble is, it's hard to work out what's good and harder still to be happy about it. This podcast is a long meditation on what Jesus has to say about what's good when we're raising children. It so happens that joy sneaks up on us when we get on with doing it.
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Episodes
God Will Not Do What We Imagine {bonus}
January 06, 2024 12:43 - 14 minutes - 10.5 MBOur work in mothering is not going to achieve all that we imagine. Why bother when we don't know which way the ball will bounce? This episode is about the comfort we can count on.
#54. Stretched, Strained, Sustained
September 29, 2023 10:20 - 9 minutes - 6.86 MBHow can these maternal duties be called "light" when they are so weighty in importance and difficulty?
Q&A: How to Fill the Time?
July 07, 2023 12:27 - 45 minutes - 22 MBA listener has asked, "What good things can I fill my time and the kids' time with before starting formal schooling?". This response was recorded while I was out and about (so it sounds a bit raw). It's a start in thinking about why we have trouble filling time with very young children (I propose that it is an oddity of our economic/social/historical context). I meander through some of the key elements to making time at home with preschoolers nourishing for them and you. Plenty more can be s...
#53. Ruined, Recycled, Restored
June 12, 2023 14:19 - 12 minutes - 9.71 MBPerhaps we find motherhood difficult because we haven’t given much thought to building a house? The thing is, we're all building from ruins, salvaging and restoring what we can. We have ideals, but none of us are working with ideal materials. Our splintered posts have meaning.
Affection Follows Attention
March 18, 2023 02:40 - 16 minutes - 12.8 MBIn this think-aloud chat, we consider how our most basic form of treasure is our attention. And where our treasure is, there our heart will follow. Some thoughts on how we might come to love things we really don't like doing.
Abundance and Loss in Motherhood
February 26, 2023 13:11 - 36 minutes - 26.9 MBSometimes God's generosity exhausts us. When the good gifts generate more work, we often treat them like a curse. This episode is about recognising the abundance we've had put in our hands so we can get busy doing something with it. It's about how to do a faithful job of handling the abundance (the abundance we often complain about). It's also about what pleases the Lord in those times when all the abundance has gone. At the end of this think-aloud chat are some thought for how churches migh...
Evangelism Think-Aloud Chat
January 25, 2023 01:39 - 29 minutes - 21.3 MBPerhaps telling people about Jesus while we're caring for our children isn't as complicated as we make it? Some reflections from a couple of decades (while I clean and repair books).
#52. Two Ways to Ruin Motherhood
January 12, 2023 03:48 - 12 minutes - 9.86 MBThe great terror of motherhood is that we’d ruin it. This dread causes some mothers to do less: the less we do, the less we can fail. The same dread causes others to grip tighter and work harder: the harder we try the more sure the outcome will be. The painful truth is that both—minimal doing and overdoing—are ruinous to the thing we are trying to preserve.
Christmas Greetings Uncut
December 23, 2022 19:15 - 24 minutes - 11.5 MBI could NOT let Christmas come without saying something. But such is the sweltering pace of things around here that I am talking on the run, complete with the creaking of doors, thrum of traffic and stretching of sticky tape. Minus editing and intro and outro. It's a worked example of giving what you've got even though it's far less than your ideal. That's the kind of chat this is. May you and your kids and everyone within orbit of you better know the comforts of King Jesus. https://mycano...
#51. Obedience is More Fun
November 14, 2022 12:50 - 12 minutes - 9.16 MBWe don't have to trick kids into obedience. And we mustn't neglect climbing trees. A life of obedience isn’t a legalistic life. Obedience training is not a constant drill of facts and instruction. It isn’t micromanagement, explicitly teaching every virtue and moral lesson by rote. It’s not that we make obedience fun, like a cheap gimmick to bribe our children into doing what they ought. Obedience is not a bitter pill crushed in a spoonful of honey, or a zucchini blended into a chocolate ca...
What if it Doesn't Work Out Well?
November 04, 2022 06:46 - 28 minutes - 20.8 MBWhat if our children grow up to squander the good gifts we have tried to give them? If it doesn’t end up achieving all we hope for, would faithful Christian motherhood be a waste of time? This is a think-aloud delve into how to stay motivated for a fraught work. I pray it is a comfort, and fortifying.
Q&A1
October 13, 2022 12:14 - 36 minutes - 25.9 MBThis is the first episode answering a few questions lately received. Ranging from preparing for the teen years; parenting books I wish I had read at the start of my time as a mum; suggestions for Bible study guides to support Christ centred mothering. Along with some comments about Christian cancel culture.
#50. Unrestrained Cute Blasphemy
September 29, 2022 02:20 - 14 minutes - 11 MBIf there was a way to sober me up in the euphoria of anticipating new motherhood, this verse was it. A hint that there was a weighty trust and great danger. I wasn’t merely welcoming a baby, but a person who would grow into an adult who would either fear the Lord or despise him. "his sons blasphemed God, and he failed to restrain them.” (1 Samuel 3:13).
How do Kids Become Independent?
September 12, 2022 14:06 - 32 minutes - 15.3 MBIn this think-aloud chat, Cathy talks aloud through a few things she's noted watching kids grow from complete dependence to almost the opposite (in a shockingly short space of time). A few things she's learning to focus on with the escalating pressure to fast track our kids into independence. It starts with trying to figure out what independence is. Note the audio was recorded while Cathy was building and cleaning book shelves. The audio reflects the real-time multitasking situation. If yo...
Maternal Mood Strategies
August 30, 2022 20:56 - 37 minutes - 27.7 MBIn this think aloud chat, I continue thinking through my experience of handling motherhood and unwieldy moods. This is about some practical considerations that have helped. And books. See website for links.
Maternal Mood and Mental Health
August 16, 2022 21:29 - 39 minutes - 28.4 MBIn this think-aloud-chat, Cathy talks through some of her experience of learning to cope. This is a look at one mum's experience over a long time, and the things that made a difference when dealing with long term depression and anxiety.
Digital Kids Think Aloud Chat
August 05, 2022 11:17 - 38 minutes - 18.4 MBMy experience as a mum started before it was normal to have a smart device on hand constantly, but I soon had to come to terms with the opportunities and follies of screens. These are some thoughts (complete with the soundtrack of my domestic life) about some principles that have come to shape what happens between kids and screens in our family. Note also https://www.motherbiblelife.com/articles/whymotherhoodisboring a rather connected episode https://www.motherbiblelife.com/articles/b...
#49. Belong and Obey
July 30, 2022 02:36 - 14 minutes - 10.8 MBObedience doesn’t bring about belonging, the belonging comes first. When we belong, we express our connectedness through obedience. Obedience isn’t about keeping ten thousand rules. In our own obedience as mums, and in helping our children learn to obey, rules cover only a fraction of the surface area. Rules aren’t the entirety of obedience, they only define the edges. Rules are fences and gates; obedience is the space between. Good rules protect and direct and give definition to obedienc...
To the Young Women, Thinking Ahead
July 14, 2022 21:53 - 34 minutes - 25.2 MBThis is a think-aloud chat especially for my unexpected audience: the women who are still young enough to be dependent on parents; the women who are looking at a future full of unknowns--the not-yet-mums, the younger women who still have many choices waiting to be made. When we find ourselves married and with children, we realise we're riding on the back of choices we made ten, 15 or 20 years earlier--long before we were thinking about what's involved in being married and raising kids. Thi...
#48. The Perils of Teaching Obedience
July 04, 2022 06:23 - 18 minutes - 14.2 MBOnce we’re persuaded that it is good for us to train our children in obedience, a new set of potholes form in the road, some deeper than others. There are many ways we get things wrong. Our sin mangles and makes further obedience more complicated. But the complications don’t nullify the command. The exceptions don’t change what God has made plain for all of us. The fact that there are potholes don’t mean we should give up on the road. It just means being alert, swerving, repairing, and occ...
#47. Taught to Obey, By Whom?
June 21, 2022 08:54 - 12 minutes - 9.81 MBTeaching children to obey is a delicate, yet robust work. No relationship other than parent to child is designed to bear the weight of it. The trained childcare worker, the babysitter, the neighbour, the aunt, the uncle, the grandparent, the friends, the Sunday School teacher, the pastor, the school are not authorised by God to discipline and instruct children into mature godliness. Biblically, no one else is commissioned for this role. Even though other people are involved in the lives of o...
#46. Some Basic Features of Teaching Obedience
June 07, 2022 16:04 - 15 minutes - 11.7 MBSo, how do we actually teach children to obey? Here's a bullet point list to start with.
Bible Reading Challenge {Think Aloud Chat}
May 27, 2022 11:03 - 25 minutes - 18.5 MBThis chat is about what has been helpful in different stages of my mothering years, as far as personal Bible reading goes. Resources I mention in the chat can be found on the webpage. https://biblereading.christkirk.com/women/#
#45c. Ideas That Hinder Obedience: The Threat to Grace
May 26, 2022 11:23 - 12 minutes - 9.17 MBLike me, were you ever the person at school who hated every subject you weren’t intuitively good at? The need to save face meant avoiding the areas where one’s incompetence could be exposed. Which meant it took me decades to realise there is more to enjoying something than being the best at it. It’s possible to learn to do new things. There’s much pleasure, when we’re willing to be seen for the duffers we are, while we fumble around learning something new. It’s natural to dislike the word ...
Boredom {Think Aloud Chat}
May 17, 2022 20:44 - 42 minutes - 15 MBA casual chat about both maternal boredom and bored kids. Is boredom really good for us? I used to think so. It's taken 17 years of being a mum to think otherwise. And, what can we do about it? https://www.motherbiblelife.com/articles/whymotherhoodisboring
#45b. Ideas That Hinder Obedience: Belief Before Behaviour
May 08, 2022 20:34 - 12 minutes - 9.76 MBBringing about belief in Jesus is God’s, hidden, sovereign work. On the other hand, tending to behaviour (which can either help or hinder belief) is definitely on the rather visible parental job description. God starts and finishes the work of saving people, but he uses all manner of means in the middle. Christian parents are not meant to wait on belief before we get busy teaching our children to obey Jesus.
#45a. Ideas That Hinder Obedience: Total Depravity
April 27, 2022 04:52 - 11 minutes - 8.67 MBShould we expect children will learn to obey when we know they have a sinful nature? Is it even possible this side of Genesis 3? The fallen, sinful nature does not completely erase the divine likeness every human being bears. If our thinking about total depravity has us conclude that no child can ever learn to obey at all, that they are beyond instruction and correction, that their lack of obedience is inevitably permanent, that they are unrestrainable, then we’ve not understood enough of...
#44. If Your Theology Stops Obedience...
April 19, 2022 12:58 - 8 minutes - 6.82 MBWhen it comes to fulfilling the great commission in our families (to teach our children to obey Jesus), sometimes our Christian conundrums paralyse us: Should we expect children will learn to obey when we know they have a sinful nature? Is it even possible this side of Genesis 3? Should we expect obedience (and give consequences for disobedience) when the Bible tells us that “no one is righteous, not even one”? Will teaching obedience to Jesus leave kids thinking they merit God’s favour...
Teaching Kids to Obey Jesus {Think Aloud Chat}
April 07, 2022 20:03 - 26 minutes - 8.96 MBThis is another audio-only free think about some aspects of teaching kids obedience, shared casually over my kitchen sink. These think-aloud chats are a bit of a birds-eye view from 17 years of parenting six kids (ie. lots of years not being able to ignore the realities of obedience!). You can find the long train of thought (mostly in article form, all available in audio) at Light Duties.
Christian Music for Kids {Think Aloud Chat}
April 01, 2022 23:58 - 27 minutes - 9.4 MBThis is another audio-only stream of consciousness. Cathy talks through some reflections on the changing relationships she's had with music for kids across her 17 years of mothering. Real-time, real sound (complete with the soothing sounds of dishwater). An exercise in trying to think behind the artifacts of Christian resources.
#43. Why We Don't Teach Kids to Obey Jesus
March 25, 2022 12:18 - 14 minutes - 10.7 MBWhen I was younger, “obedience” was merely uncool. In the 90’s and 00’s, we didn’t use the word because it was daggy, uptight and prudish. Obedience meant deprivation and legalism, the arbitrary spoiling of fun. Thoroughly unappealing. Now, it is counted among the evils of this world. In this episode, we consider a range of reasons why we don't teach our children to obey Jesus, from fear of stifling them to just not knowing how to go about it.
#42. The Mission of Motherhood: Teach Them to Obey Jesus
March 21, 2022 06:18 - 10 minutes - 7.55 MBJesus tells us to teach obedience to those for whom we have some sort of discipleship responsibility. The most profoundly connected disciples Christian parents have are their own children. We are obliged to teach our kids to obey Jesus. Every moment and task in our children’s young lives is given by Jesus to be used for training them into obedience to Him. Whole body, whole heart, whole soul, whole mind, whole strength obedience. The sort of obedience which grows alongside of, comes from—a...
Bible Reading in Our Family {think aloud chat}
March 10, 2022 03:50 - 36 minutes - 13 MBThis isn't the usual audio version of an article, but a bonus "thinking aloud" session, going back through our family history of reading the Bible together, over the past 17 years. It might illustrate many of the ideas I write about at Light Duties. Mostly, I hope it fortifies you! articles referred to: https://www.motherbiblelife.com/articles/mothers-abiding https://www.motherbiblelife.com/articles/feeding-on-bible-when-the-meals-are-interrupted https://www.motherbiblelife.com/arti...
Bible Reading in Our Family {Think Aloud Chat}
March 10, 2022 03:50 - 36 minutes - 13 MBThis isn't the usual audio version of an article, but a bonus "thinking aloud" session, going back through our family history of reading the Bible together, over the past 17 years. It might illustrate many of the ideas I write about at Light Duties. Mostly, I hope it fortifies you! articles referred to: https://www.motherbiblelife.com/articles/mothers-abiding https://www.motherbiblelife.com/articles/feeding-on-bible-when-the-meals-are-interrupted https://www.motherbiblelife.com/articl...
#41. Wrong Ideas About Mission Stifle Motherhood
March 04, 2022 03:04 - 9 minutes - 6.52 MBHere are some problematic assumptions about the Great Commission which end up stifling motherhood (and stifling the mission too): Wrong Idea 1: We’re all meant to be constantly expanding our range of relationships to tell the gospel to new people. Wrong Idea 2: Our children don’t qualify as people to be discipled. Wrong Idea 3: The Great Commission is only about evangelism. Wrong Idea 4: Mission to our children is done the same way as mission to our unbelieving neighbour. Since Je...
#40. "Go" is Not the Only Verb in the Great Commission
February 25, 2022 06:09 - 9 minutes - 6.92 MBAre home duties a rival to the Great Commission? Will building an overflowing home waste resources that could otherwise be spent telling the world about Jesus? This is the question that troubled me most as I fumbled around in the early years of motherhood. The word that evangelical Christians often focus on is “go”. It’s hard to know what to do with that when so much of raising children is not going. This focus on taking the gospel to new people in new places pickles many of us in guilt, bec...
Losing Our Maternal Bristles {bonus}
February 15, 2022 18:54 - 10 minutes - 7.65 MBThe golden law of our time is that whatever a woman is doing, she is Always Only Ever choosing the very best thing. Her holiness is indisputable. Her instincts are infallible. According to a poster on a wall near you, Women are Perfect. The trouble is, when we are struggling to know how to deal with a persistently contrary child, or we don’t know how to fill the hours with a toddler, or we are enslaved to our own volatile temper, we know the truth. We are not Always Only Ever choosing the ver...
#39. Overflowing Home
February 08, 2022 06:27 - 11 minutes - 8.44 MBHome is meant to be the central place from which we worship and train up worshipers. It is naturally the locus of our maternal responsibilities. It won’t be the only place where responsibility and influence happens, but it is the basic place. We can’t leap over it. This is a bland thought if we’ve not known what it’s like to be in a home full of vitality; if we’re still trying to grow out of our boredom. To say that home is where we are primarily responsible and most influential can be insul...
#38. Constant Embodied Worship
February 02, 2022 09:15 - 8 minutes - 6.25 MBIt’s not unusual to divide life into sacred and secular, bits God cares about and the bits he doesn’t. Because gathered worship and the Bible and prayer and evangelism matter enormously, we think that everything else doesn’t matter at all. But that is an unbiblical view, and a rather disheartening one. Most of our time as mums is given over to things which we would still do even if we weren’t Christian. When we think that God doesn’t care about the common activities we do, we’re behaving as ...
#37. Why Motherhood is Boring
January 21, 2022 04:04 - 9 minutes - 6.57 MBWe live in a time where home is seen as either a day spa you retreat to, or the site of heavy-duty, mind-numbing labour we’re desperate to escape. For the mothers of young children, we long for the former but live with the latter. Both ways of thinking about home are pretty boring and neither help us mature in worship while we raise worshipers. Let’s talk about boredom, because it is surprisingly connected with worship.
#36. The Less Than Ideal Church
January 12, 2022 12:31 - 11 minutes - 8.42 MBWhat do we do if we're tying to help our children grow into worship, but our church situation isn't ideal? Well, none are ideal. This episode is about what you can do.
Reclaiming Time Without Urgency
December 30, 2021 03:32 - 4 minutes - 3.24 MBMuch of the trouble with motherhood comes down to time. Either we don’t have enough, we’re trying to live three lifetimes at once; or we are adrift… bored…with too many vacant hours. We struggle with proportion and order and finding the right substance to fill the void. Urgency undermines a lot of good. We feel a heavy pressure to solve immediate problems at the expense of slower, apparently postponable priorities. Like motherhood. Table of Contents here.
No Heavy Lifting {Christmas Bonus}
December 22, 2021 22:19 - 5 minutes - 4.35 MBPerhaps Christmas would be more enjoyable if we didn’t feel we had to do so much? What a relief when we pause to consider that the only duties God calls us to at Christmas are those which hold true all year round.
#35. How Kids Grow to be in Church
December 21, 2021 06:08 - 15 minutes - 11.6 MBA while ago, I mentioned the example of a church where it’s normal for the kids to be present in corporate worship. We were part of that church when our first baby arrived and I was terrified that my child would grow to be the exception. The process of how one could possibly get kids to sit in church was a mystery to me. This is what 16 years of having kids in church has taught us.
#34. Unseen Worship
December 11, 2021 01:08 - 20 minutes - 14.5 MBOne reason we might keep children separate from what the adults do at church, is that we forget the grandeur of what’s going on. Most of what we see is pretty ordinary. The reality is actually far from boring. When we get a glimpse of the unseen, we're better positioned to help our children.
#33. Is Worship the right Word for Sunday?
December 02, 2021 23:47 - 12 minutes - 8.54 MBI’m repenting of my neglect of the word, and with it the reality of, worship. Motherhood is ultimately about being a worshipper and raising worshippers, so it’s worth using the word, especially on Sunday, when we worship especially.
A Word Between Articles
November 19, 2021 20:08 - 6 minutes - 4.94 MBSome words on worship while you wait for the next articles to be released.
#32. Church Full of Kids, but No Kids' Church
November 12, 2021 08:45 - 7 minutes - 5.77 MBAs we consider how to help our children have a meaningful relationship with the local church, it's helpful to hear stories of places that have done it well. This episode is about a church that has had decades of serving children well, without a typical Sunday School.
#31. When the Church Loves Children
November 05, 2021 11:05 - 10 minutes - 7.94 MBPart of our role as Christian mums is to help our children into everyday love for Jesus’ people. It is much easier for our children to learn to love the church when the church loves them. When a church talks about, talks to, and treats children as a blessing, it isn’t such a stretch of the imagination to think that kids would learn to love it back. Our cultural baggage is against us in this. We often need the plain reminder to think highly of children.
#30. Better than a Playdate
October 28, 2021 14:51 - 13 minutes - 9.62 MBThe question of “how do we be a family in a local church?” is bigger than finding a church with a kids program. We’re to help our children learn to love all God’s people, not just their peers. Meaningful relationships in church—relationships where we’re obeying Jesus’ command to love one another—are different from a playdate. When we give time to someone who is not like ourselves, our children learn that Jesus’ command to “love one another” is more than just being nice to the people you woul...