It’s Not All Rainbows: Surviving Abusive LGBTQIA+ Relationships
126 episodes - English - Latest episode: 1 day ago - ★★★★★ - 2 ratingsIt's Not All Rainbows is a podcast hosted by Lindsay Goodman, a trauma recovery coach & survivor of narcissistic abuse in a queer relationship. Many licensed professionals have called narcissistic abuse "the most severe form of domestic violence" and yet, most survivors of this insidious abuse suffer behind closed doors. Most people, including mental health practitioners and first responders do not understand what this type of abuse can look like and how it can affect survivors. INAR will explore different aspects of narcissistic abuse, how to get out, and how to begin your healing journey. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
Monkey Branching
April 24, 2024 15:00 - 17 minutes - 16 MBIn this episode I talk about monkey branching and what that can look like. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Why Does My Abuser Look SO Happy!?
April 17, 2024 23:39 - 17 minutes - 16.4 MBIn this episode I talk about why abusive people LOOK so happy after your relationship with them ends. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
You Only Like it the way I Do It: Gaslighting & Sex
March 20, 2024 15:40 - 14 minutes - 13.3 MBIn this episode, I talk about how some abusive people will tell you that you won't like sex with anyone else. Why do they say this? Is it true? Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Why Does My Abuser Always Walk in Front of Me?
March 13, 2024 15:00 - 19 minutes - 18.3 MBIn this episode, I talk about what it can look like when your "partner" is always walking in front of you, and why an abusive person might do that. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Do You REALLY Know Your Abuser?
March 06, 2024 16:00 - 19 minutes - 18.3 MBIn this episode I talk about how we can't really know our abusers because they most likely don't even know who THEY are. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
AM I Healing?
February 28, 2024 16:00 - 17 minutes - 16.1 MBIn this episode I talk about how sometimes, as you continue to heal from abuse, you might even start to miss moments of testament to your healing and why that's a wonderful thing. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Did You Notice Things Change When Their New "Partner" Came Around?
February 21, 2024 16:00 - 16 minutes - 15.4 MBIn this episode I talk about some little things you might notice when someone starts dating a potentially abusive person. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Valentine's Day and Abuse
February 14, 2024 16:00 - 16 minutes - 15.4 MBIn this episode I talk about several scenarios that might go down on Valentine's Day, or any special day, with an abusive person. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Do They REALLY Like the Same Things as You?
February 07, 2024 16:00 - 18 minutes - 16.6 MBIn this episode I talk about how an abusive person can pretend to be everything you are/have so much in common with you, at least for a short while... --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Mysterious Physical Issues?
January 03, 2024 16:00 - 19 minutes - 18.1 MBIn this episode I talk about some of the mysterious physical issues I experienced while being abused and how YOUR "mysterious" issues might not be so mysterious. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
When You Try to Leave and Abusive Person
December 27, 2023 16:00 - 23 minutes - 21.5 MBIn this episode I talk about a few of the times I attempted to leave my abuser and how eventually I learned (was trained) not to even try to leave. TRIGGER WARNING: physical abuse Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Using Finances to Control You
December 21, 2023 00:14 - 18 minutes - 17.3 MBIn this episode I talk about how abusive people will use finances (financial abuse) to control you.Website: thelindsaygoodman.com1:1/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Abusers Will Use Helplessness to Control You
December 13, 2023 16:00 - 15 minutes - 14.1 MBIn this episode, I talk about how abusive people will use your helplessness (which they will bring out in you) to control you.Website: thelindsaygoodman.com1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Abusers Will Tell on Themselves
December 06, 2023 16:01 - 17 minutes - 16.1 MBIn this episode, I talk about how quite often abusive people will tell on themselves. It's very hard to keep up with all the lies they tell, and if you pay attention, they'll give themselves away! Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
EPISODE 100! What Have I Done Since Episode One?
November 29, 2023 16:00 - 22 minutes - 20.3 MBIn this episode, I talk about 100 things I've done since I started recording and sharing this podcast with you! Just kidding, that would take too long, but I talk about a few of the big things! Thank you for being on this journey with me. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman In this episode, I talk about 100 things I've done since I started recording and sharing this podcast with you! Just kidding, that would take too long, but I talk a...
Am I A Fool for Not Knowing it was Abuse Sooner?
November 22, 2023 16:00 - 18 minutes - 16.5 MBMany people tell me they feel like a fool for not recognizing the abuse sooner. In this episode, I talk about why it doesn't make sense for us to feel that way! Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Traumaversaries!
November 15, 2023 16:00 - 16 minutes - 15 MBIn this episode I talk about what it can be like as trauma anniversaries roll around. How does it feel? How does it effect our bodies? How to get through those times? Website: Thelindsaygoodman.con 1:1 coaching/group coaching Calendly.com/Thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
The ABANDONMENT Wound
November 08, 2023 16:00 - 21 minutes - 20.1 MBDid you "go crazy" when your ABUSER moved on their next victim? Let's talk about why that might be and what to do about it!Website: thelindsaygoodman.com1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
They’re ALREADY Dating Someone Else! Noooooo!
November 08, 2023 16:00 - 21 minutes - 20.1 MBDid you "go crazy" when your ABUSER moved on their next victim? Let's talk about why that might be and what to do about it!Website: thelindsaygoodman.com1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Why Should I Stay Single After Abuse?
November 01, 2023 15:00 - 20 minutes - 18.5 MBIn this episode I talk about several reasons why it's so important to not rush into another relationship, especially after abuse (I KNOW you don't want to hear this but it's important)! Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
PET THAT DOG! Pets in Abusive Relationships
October 25, 2023 15:00 - 20 minutes - 18.9 MBIn this episode, I talk about two reasons why I DON'T pet the dog in my viral birthday video (here: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8rqpPKS/). Pets are used as pawns in relationship and here I dive into what that can look like for a victim. Website: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman 1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
TWO YEARS NO CONTACT Q&A
October 18, 2023 15:00 - 30 minutes - 27.6 MBIn this episode, I answer your questions about going and staying no contact. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching/group coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Do You Mistake the Push-Pull for Love?
October 11, 2023 15:00 - 19 minutes - 18 MBIn this episode I talk about how so many of us confuse the push-pull abuse dynamic with love and why it is NOT love. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Triangulation
October 04, 2023 15:19 - 16 minutes - 14.9 MBIn this episode I tell a story of a specific experience with triangulation on the day my abuser and I "broke up." I'll talk about what triangulation can look like and why coercive controllers use this tactic. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Abusive People Will Come Between You and Your Kids
September 27, 2023 15:00 - 18 minutes - 17.1 MBIn this episode I talk about how an abusive person may try to sever the connection between you and your kids and I give several examples of what that can look like. I'll also dive into why they do this insidious abuse tactic. website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: thelindsaygoodman.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Things Have Gotten Better! Should I Stay?
September 20, 2023 15:21 - 16 minutes - 14.8 MBIn this episode I talk about when your abuser seems to be getting better. Are they actually changing? Is the relationship still viable? Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Retraining Your Brain After Abuse
September 13, 2023 15:06 - 20 minutes - 18.8 MBIn this episode, I talk about ways we can retrain our brains after abuse and how the brain works when it comes to changing the messages we've been given! Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman lindsaygoodmancoaching on Tiktok and Instagram --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Recovering From Child Abuse (by Proxy)
September 07, 2023 01:15 - 22 minutes - 20.4 MBIn this episode, I talk about the experience of healing from having your child used as a pawn to abuse you/having your child abused by proxy and the struggles that come with it. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Mysterious Physical Issues?
August 30, 2023 12:38 - 18 minutes - 16.5 MBIn this episode I talk about mysterious (or not so mysterious) health issues that can come with experiencing intimate partner violence (or abuse from a parent, etc). Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
They're Suddenly Being SO Nice!
August 23, 2023 12:39 - 12 minutes - 11.1 MBIn this episode I talk about what it really means when your abuser suddenly starts offering to be helpful. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Dating Green/Red Flags (with Kids)
August 09, 2023 15:58 - 24 minutes - 22.5 MBIn this episode I go over some of the green and red flags to look for when dating when children are involved (but honestly this can apply without children too). Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Covert Abuse in a Viral Video
August 09, 2023 11:40 - 17 minutes - 15.7 MBIn this episode I talk about my birthday blueberry video which went viral on Tiktok and Instagram (56m+ views) in 2022. WHY was it so viral? WHY is it so important to talk about covert abuse? Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Is it Bad That I'm Grieving my Abuser?
August 02, 2023 15:05 - 16 minutes - 15 MBIn this episode I talk about grief. Often we feel (or society makes us feel) like we shouldn't be grieving for someone who has harmed us so terribly. Let's talk about it!Website: thelindsaygoodman.com1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Abuse in LGBTQ+ Relationships
July 26, 2023 16:23 - 23 minutes - 21.6 MBIn this week's episode I talk about a not often talked about subject: the nitty gritty of what abuse can look like in an LGBTQ+ relationship. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1;1 coaching: Calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Help! I Want to go No Contact but I Don't Want to Hurt THEM!
July 19, 2023 18:32 - 16 minutes - 14.9 MBIn this episode I talk about the survivor tendency to be hesitant to go no contact with our abuser. I'll talk you through some of the considerations and hopefully help get you off the fence and on the road to recovery. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Do We HAVE to Forgive Them to Heal?
July 12, 2023 08:34 - 16 minutes - 15.5 MBIn this episode I talk about the idea that we have to forgive our abuser in order to heal. Is it required? is there something else that can help instead? Website: thelindsaygoodman.comIG & TT: lindsaygoodmancoaching1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Is My Partner a Narcissist?
July 10, 2023 20:18 - 7 minutes - 6.42 MBAnd this Monday many episode of, it’s not all rainbows I talk about whether or not, we need a diagnosis to leave an abusive person or to be able to heal. Website: Thelindsaygoodman.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Abusive People Will Find Ways to Keep You Attached
July 05, 2023 07:05 - 14 minutes - 12.9 MBIn this episode I talk about ways abusive people will find little things that keep the two of you "attached." You can't go no contact because you're always still waiting for this or that to be resolved. They don't want it to be resolved for a reason. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Monday Mini: No Contact in a Nutshell
July 03, 2023 09:52 - 8 minutes - 7.79 MBIn this episode, I talk about some of the things that helped me go no contact and speed up my own healing journey. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Is THIS Physical Abuse?
June 28, 2023 07:00 - 20 minutes - 18.5 MBIn this episode I talk about physical abuse and what actually "counts" as physical abuse. There is so much more than we as a society understand as physical abuse. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching/LGBTQ Support Group: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Monday Mini: You Can SHOP for Therapists/Coaches
June 26, 2023 08:00 - 9 minutes - 8.8 MBAnd this Monday Mini, I talk about your option to shop for the right therapist. You do not have to work with the first person who comes along. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
STONEWALLING
June 21, 2023 16:00 - 16 minutes - 14.8 MBIn this episode, I talk about a horrible but effective abuse tactic known as stonewalling. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Attachment Issues or Abuse?
June 14, 2023 14:45 - 23 minutes - 21.6 MBIn this episode, I talk about the difference between abuse and attachment issues. I definitely confused the two and I want to make sure you don't do the same! Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching/LGBTQ support group: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
MONDAY MINI “I’ll never leave you”
June 12, 2023 09:21 - 5 minutes - 4.67 MBOn this Monday mini episode, I talk about how often abusive people will say things like “I’ll never leave you” and why they say it. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
What's Yours is THEIRS
June 07, 2023 17:55 - 18 minutes - 16.8 MBIn this episode, I talk about how whatever is yours can become THEIRS as soon as you're together. They have a strong sense of entitlement. It can be something small like wearing your clothes or it can be big, like your car. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching/LGBTQ support group: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
MONDAY MINI: CPTSD Flashbacks
June 05, 2023 09:47 - 8 minutes - 7.55 MBIn this episode I talk about CPTSD flashbacks and how they can happen any time, anywhere. 1:1 coaching/events: calendly.com/Thelindsaygoodman. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Post Separation Abuse
May 31, 2023 21:47 - 18 minutes - 16.6 MBOn today's episode, I talk about post seperation abuse, or narcissistic collapse, which can happen when a victim leaves their abuser. It can be VERY dangerous, so it's important to know that this MAY happen and to take measures to protect yourself. Website: thelindsaygoodman.com 1:1 coaching/LGBTQ+ support group: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman FREE safety planning: thehotline.org --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Sharing My "Escape Plan"
May 24, 2023 11:01 - 19 minutes - 17.9 MBIn this episode I talk about my escape plan, or lack thereof, and what I would do differently if I could do it over. Website: thelindsaygoodman 1:1 coaching/LGBTQ+ support group: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodmanFREE Safety Planning tool: thehotline.org --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
Power Imbalances in Abusive Relationships
May 17, 2023 16:00 - 14 minutes - 13.4 MBIn this episode, I talk about some of the things that can contribute to power imbalances in abusive relationships, especially those those that are less obvious to society. Power imbalances are an essential tool in abusive relationships.Website: thelindsaygoodman.com1:1 coaching: calendly.com/thelindsaygoodman --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support
INAR Monday Mini: Success Double Standards
May 15, 2023 12:00 - 6 minutes - 5.69 MBIn today’s Monday Mini, I talk about how an abusive person can react to YOUR success vs how they expect you to react to their minor achievements. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/itsnotallrainbows/support