Language Alchemy Podcast

57. 4 Common Reactions to Uncomfortable Feelings. Communicating Feelings Part 3

August 17, 2022 14:45 - 16 minutes - 15.2 MB

“From the Language Alchemy perspective, all feelings have their usefulness,” explains host Alejandra. Alejandra understands why we have specific reactions to uncomfortable feelings. In part three of her “Communicating Feelings” series, Alejandra teaches how to deal with these reactions and communicate effectively. Everyone has certain feelings they are more comfortable expressing than others. Some have no difficulty communicating sadness but may struggle to share joy and vice versa. Often, ...

56. Why Is It Hard to Communicate Feelings? Communicating Feelings Part 2

August 10, 2022 14:45 - 17 minutes - 15.6 MB

“It's easy to communicate what we have learned to communicate,” explains host Alejandra. Alejandra has seen how difficult it is to communicate feelings throughout her career as a transformative communication teacher and coach. In part two of her “Communicating Feelings” series, Alejandra provides helpful tools that positively allow self-expression. Our teachers and parents were our primary communication influences when we were children. And we often learned evaluative communication skills b...

55. Your Internal Communication System. Communicating Feelings Part 1

August 03, 2022 14:45 - 12 minutes - 11.1 MB

“If you find it hard to talk about your feelings and communicate, you're not alone,” says host Alejandra. As a transformative communication teacher and coach, Alejandra knows that discussing your feelings is challenging. In part one of her internal communication series, Alejandra provides helpful tips for effectively sharing with others. Through tangible examples and inquiry exercises, Alejandra defines what feelings genuinely are and how we experience them in our bodies. By connecting to o...

54. Building Your Communication Toolbox in 7 Steps

July 27, 2022 14:45 - 18 minutes - 17.2 MB

“You don’t have to be a therapist, a coach, or a leader, you can just be a caring human,” Alejandra says of anyone using the many tools in her communication toolbox. True, a few of the seven listeners featured, who recently called in to comment on the way they approach Alejandra’s content and how it’s helped them, are actual therapists. Ellen, Alejandra’s “mother-in-love,” remarks upon the divine timing of Alejandra’s chosen topics, and she used many of the tools in a recent session with her...

53. What You Need to Pay Attention to if You Want to Have Meaningful Celebrations

July 20, 2022 14:45 - 20 minutes - 19.1 MB

“Language sets you up for something meaningful,” explains host Alejandra. As many of you know, the Language Alchemy Podcast recently celebrated its first anniversary with a virtual party. Reflecting on the success of this fantastic milestone, Alejandra shares the three components of throwing a thoughtful and joyful event. As a transformative communication teacher and coach, Alejandra understands how language sets the tone for meaningful celebrations. By demonstrating how grateful you are fo...

52. Building a More Caring Work Experience - Part 2

July 13, 2022 14:45 - 19 minutes - 17.8 MB

“In this country, because English is my first language, that could be seen as a privilege,” explains Nancy Kahn, Consultant, Coach, Trainer, Mediator, and host Alejandra’s first Communication Teacher. In today’s episode of The Language Alchemy Podcast, Nancy Kahn returns to discuss how to build a more caring work experience. Through Nancy's insights, the listeners gain valuable tools to disrupt harmful power dynamics. Nancy understands that attending to our most marginalized groups helps us...

51. Building a More Caring Work Experience. An Interview with Nancy Kahn - Part 1

July 06, 2022 14:45 - 23 minutes - 21.7 MB

“I want to have my identity embraced. I also want to be authentic with people,” explains Nancy Kahn, Consultant, Coach, Trainer, Mediator, and host Alejandra’s first Communication Teacher. Nancy helps individuals and teams learn and integrate communication practices and develops leadership and organizational systems aligned with anti-racist frameworks. A highly-skilled communication professional, Nancy shares her experiences in the field and the tools she uses to educate others. As a Black ...

50. 3 Mistakes to Avoid When Starting a Difficult Conversation

June 29, 2022 14:45 - 16 minutes - 15.3 MB

“When you know that feelings might be present in a conversation, then that conversation may be difficult for you,” explains host Alejandra. Although any topic of conversation can be hard to discuss, it can be even more challenging for those who struggle with vulnerability. In time for the Language’s Alchemy Podcast’s first anniversary, Alejandra provides the listeners with helpful tips on starting a tough conversation. The critical thing to remember when beginning a laborious conversation i...

49. He, She, They? The Importance of Personal Pronouns

June 22, 2022 14:45 - 21 minutes - 39.3 MB

“It's important to make a commitment to avoiding assumptions about people because of the way they look,” says host Alejandra. In honor of Pride Month, Alejandra explains the importance of personal pronouns. By demonstrating why they are used in speech, Alejandra gives insight into how to adjust your communication skills to be more inclusive. As a language teacher and communication coach, Alejandra understands that language is always evolving. When words are no longer an accurate reflection ...

48. How Dads Can Communicate with Emotional Awareness an Interview with Brian Wood

June 15, 2022 14:45 - 34 minutes - 63.3 MB

“Emotions, tantrums, or even lashing out at parents are okay and shouldn't be curtailed,” explains guest Brian Wood. Alejandra describes her friend Brian’s communication style with his son as empathically mindful. Today, Brian and Alejandra discuss how other fathers can engage with increased emotional awareness right in time for Father’s Day. Brian acknowledges that his father came from a generation that had difficulty expressing themselves, especially to their children. When he became a fa...

47. We've Been a Bystander for Way too Long. Time to Become an Upstander.

June 08, 2022 14:45 - 32 minutes - 60.1 MB

“The lessons of history can help educators and students stand up to bigotry and hate,” says Brian Fong, Program Director for the California Facing History and Ourselves chapter. Through this organization, Brian works to help others engage in complex topics, such as race and sexuality. Ultimately, Brian aims to nurture an empathetically challenging environment to facilitate positive change. During his first year of teaching, Brian faced his blind spots through his diverse body of students. R...

46. How to Respond to Microaggressions

June 01, 2022 14:45 - 25 minutes - 46.5 MB

“You and I both can bring about equality and equity by using an inclusive language that decreases the impact of microaggressions for all the members of our human family,” explains host Alejandra. People who are members of marginalized groups experience microaggressions frequently due to other people’s implicit biases based on things like their looks, skin color, disability status, religion, gender identity, and sexual orientation. Having experienced instances of microaggressions herself, A...

45. 3 Tools to Uncover Hidden Biases in Your Internal Dialogue

May 25, 2022 14:45 - 17 minutes - 33 MB

“Unless we work on the messages we inherited, we just perpetuate them,” explains host Alejandra. After the murder of George Floyd, many people have reflected on what their hidden biases are and how these behaviors impact society. With years of this type of self-exploration, Alejandra breaks down the tools needed to reframe your internal dialogue and evaluate your views on racism and intolerance. Like most people, Alejandra was not always aware of how she internalized racist messaging. But f...

44. How to Talk About Race and Racism

May 18, 2022 14:45 - 19 minutes - 35.3 MB

After the tragic murder of George Floyd, many people worldwide woke up to the importance of discussing race and equity. With a desire to respectfully navigate these critical conversations, many clients sought host Alejandra’s communication advice. As a result, Alejandra promotes literature to further the dialogue, such as Ijeoma Oluo's So You Want to Talk About Race. Ijeoma Oluo's So You Want to Talk About Race is a powerful book from start to finish. By reading an excerpt from the introduc...

43. Intentional Language in Meaningful Music: An Interview with Gary Lapow

May 11, 2022 14:45 - 25 minutes - 46.2 MB

“I wanted to be part of that stream of music that could change people’s minds and hearts,” explains Gary Lapow, the composer for the Language Alchemy Podcast music. Gary writes music to reflect different times in his life with a desire to provide hope. Today, host Alejandra and Gary discuss the power of music and how it can be a communication tool to make the world a more inclusive place. Gary has had a fascinating musical journey centered around social justice and bringing people’s stories...

42. Your Communication Gift on Mother's Day

May 04, 2022 14:45 - 15 minutes - 28 MB

“When you redirect your reactivity, you choose to communicate in a peaceful way,” explains host Alejandra. With Mother’s Day on the horizon, Alejandra understands that communicating with your mother can be challenging. Today, Alejandra breaks down helpful language tools that you can use with your mother to ensure reconciliation and peace on this day. The best gift you can give your mother on Mother’s day is the gift of peace. Although it can be easy to give into past wounds or react to spec...

41. We're All Going Through Stress

April 27, 2022 14:45 - 17 minutes - 32 MB

From the pandemic to world war, human beings deal with a good amount of stress. As a result, we behave in damaging ways, such as acting defensive to those around us. Today, host Alejandra breaks down the different reactions to stress and how we can communicate more mindfully in our daily lives. Due to the pandemic, our human family is more disconnected than ever. Since we are social creatures, this has caused an abundance of stress that has negatively affected our communication with one ano...

40. 3 Myths About Healthy Relationships

April 20, 2022 14:45 - 18 minutes - 42.8 MB

“I don't know any truly healthy relationship that has not had its good share of difficulties,” explains host Alejandra. Alejandra realizes that it’s natural for people to seek healthy relationships and debunks the everyday myths that prevent real connection. After all, we may not realize that our communication style prevents us from the relationships we want, something highlighted in Alejandra’s upcoming Choosing True Connection course. One of the most common myths about healthy relationshi...

39. A Communication Skill You Don't Often Hear About

April 13, 2022 14:45 - 12 minutes - 28.2 MB

“Skillful listening is as important, or perhaps even more important, than skillful speaking,” says host Alejandra. Through her work as a communication coach, Alejandra discovered that skillful listeners were the best communicators. Now, she teaches her clients how to use their listening skills to strengthen their relationships and interactions with others. Alejandra understands that communicating with people with different political or world views may be challenging. However, she also under...

38. What Prevents Effective Communication?

April 06, 2022 14:45 - 14 minutes - 34.3 MB

Today, host Alejandra answers one of her listener's questions on how to communicate effectively. Although we may believe that we are transparent with our wants and needs, there may be room for improvement to avoid misunderstandings. With her background in communication coaching, Alejandra shares easy ways to become a more effective communicator. If you find yourself having confusing or heated conversations with others, there may be an issue with your listening skills that prevent productive...

37. Love That Lasts

March 30, 2022 14:45 - 17 minutes - 40.9 MB

“The way we communicate is just a tool to access our deeper being. And I think for us, learning how to communicate was just learning how to be in love and speak with love with each other,” says Matthew Siroka, husband of host Alejandra. Often in her work coaching couples, clients ask how Alejandra and Matthew communicate. Today, Matthew shares what works for them and how to build a loving and lasting relationship. Matthew and Alejandra come from vastly different backgrounds. Alejandra was r...

36. Want to Give Peace a Chance? Resist Your Reactivity

March 23, 2022 14:45 - 17 minutes - 39.2 MB

With the war in Ukraine still raging on, everyone in our human family feels troubled and tense. As a result, overall communication is suffering amongst loved ones and communities. Today, host Alejandra gives tips on becoming less reactive to have more productive and peaceful communication. Whether you react with anger or shut down in difficult conversations, giving into reactivity can harm your relationships. In a heated discussion, we may assume that the person is trying to hurt us or has ...

35: Choosing Peace in Your Communication

March 16, 2022 14:45 - 17 minutes - 39.5 MB

Not all wars result in physical combat, such as the current war between Russia and Ukraine. Many battles exist in familial conflicts that may lead to estrangement or harmful effects on the body. In today’s episode, host Alejandra breaks down different ways to communicate peacefully to avoid destructive communication patterns. There are many benefits to peaceful living. From better sleep to healthier relationships to improved overall health, we gain a higher quality of life when choosing har...

34. Conscious Defending from Gaslighting

March 09, 2022 15:45 - 16 minutes - 36.7 MB

With the devastating war occurring in Ukraine, host Alejandra Siroka reflects on the power of language. Although language has the power to heal, it can also lead us to our destruction. With this in mind, Alejandra explores the darker side of speech: gaslighting. Often in unequal relationships, the person with more power uses gaslighting to manipulate others. By causing the other person to doubt their experience or dismiss their feelings, the manipulator can make them feel more vulnerable or...

33. How to talk to women so they connect to their worth

March 02, 2022 15:45 - 20 minutes - 46.5 MB

With International Women’s Day on the horizon, host Alejandra Siroka recognizes the value of celebrating women. By supporting women, we remind them of their worth, improving society as a whole. With her experience coaching women and as a woman herself, Alejandra breaks down concrete language suggestions that can raise up the women in your lives. Historically, and even now, many women are minimized by their well-intentioned loved ones. By ignoring young girls’ accomplishments and having sepa...

32. Nurturing intimacy in a busy world

February 23, 2022 14:00 - 18 minutes - 25.1 MB

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but you can take the most important part of the holiday with you. Can you guess what that is? One commonality most holidays share is the opportunity for intimacy with those who matter most. “Intimacy” comes from 2 Latin words: the word intimus, which means inmost, and intimare, which means to know deeply. So, you could say holidays are a chance to get a clear impression of someone and reconnect. However, you don’t have to wait for the holidays to become...

31. The 5 Love languages, and the one caveat you need to be aware of

February 16, 2022 14:00 - 15 minutes - 21.7 MB

Valentine’s Day is a celebration many people either love or hate. Others may feel indifferent – or prefer to observe “Single’s Awareness Day” instead! Personally, I believe it’s important to have a day when millions of people express their love to those they care about. Maybe it’s through a hug or kiss. Maybe it’s through a gift, like a box of chocolates or jewelry. Maybe it’s through preparing a meal or helping with the chores. Maybe it’s watching a movie together. Or maybe it’s shari...

30. The way through pain is compassion in your communication

February 09, 2022 14:00 - 18 minutes - 25.1 MB

I find that it’s easier to connect to a concept when I delve into the origin of the word. The word “compassion” is a Latin word meaning, “to be with the pain of another.” Think about what that means. At first, the idea of taking on another’s pain may not sound appealing. Yet, compassion brings people together. When we communicate with compassion, we can understand others in their trouble; we can make space for others and experience connection. Compassion is one of the 3 elements of tran...

29. Do you struggle with others not trusting you? You may not sound confident enough!

February 02, 2022 14:00 - 15 minutes - 20.9 MB

This is the second part in my 3-part series on the qualities of transformative communication. In episode 28 we discussed communicating with clarity. Now we’re building upon it to discuss: -How to understand when you or others aren’t communicating with confidence -The benefits of communicating with confidence -2 action items to cultivate confidence in your communication Communicating with confidence is vital to living authentically. Many people are aware of this. In fact, 99.9% of people...

28. Want less conflict in your relationships?

January 26, 2022 14:00 - 18 minutes - 26.1 MB

“Express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion.” This is the tagline for Language Alchemy, and it’s also a recipe for communication success. When you not only commit it to memory, but put it into practice, you’ll find it easier to meaningfully connect with others. If you’re wondering where to begin, I first recommend you focus on clarity. Speaking clearly sounds deceptively simple. However, it requires a level of empathy for your listener and an ability to see your words from ...

27. Turning Vulnerability Into Connection: An Inspiring True Story

January 19, 2022 14:00 - 27 minutes - 37.5 MB

As Brené Brown once said, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” But vulnerability may not always come easily – it relies on our ability to be honest with ourselves and share that honesty with others. Without sharing our truth, we can’t form authentic connections. My client, Jared, experienced a transformative communication journey where he realized just how true this is. Before working with me, he bounced from relationship to relation...

26. What happens when you make and fulfill the intention to learn to communicate from the heart?

January 12, 2022 14:00 - 20 minutes - 28.7 MB

It’s easy to describe why and how communication can help you in general terms. But what really paints a picture is hearing firsthand how someone nurtured their communication skills and what they gained from the experience. One great example comes from a client I’ve had the honor to guide. Denise DeLuca is a yoga and meditation teacher, mother and grandmother who seeks to communicate her heart. She explains her motivations for her communication work and how it has enhanced her daily spiritu...

25. The 6-step process that will help you stay true to your New Year’s intentions

January 05, 2022 14:00 - 22 minutes - 31.5 MB

Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution only to see your effort fade as the months pass? Maybe that little voice inside your head talked you out of reaching your goals. (“I don’t have time to run anymore because work is too busy.”) That voice can become assertive and convincing, and eventually win you over – causing you to feel relief when you quit. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Fortunately, there’s a helpful approach. Just as words can talk you out of goals, conscious wo...

24. What are your communication intentions for the new year?

December 29, 2021 14:00 - 14 minutes - 20.4 MB

Having a New Year’s resolution is a popular ritual, especially one involving a new hobby, habit, or skill. This year, I’m inviting you to go deeper and try something different. Can you envision yourself setting an intention with how you communicate in the new year? From my experiences, both personally and from working with clients, I’ve witnessed the beautiful benefits that are possible when you focus your energy on your communication. If you aren’t sure what it means to set a communicati...

23. Communicating with children with grace during the stressful holiday season

December 22, 2021 14:00 - 38 minutes - 52.7 MB

How can we communicate to children during the holidays regarding their behavior, gifts they may be receiving, and family rituals can have a lasting effect on their life. Caroline Griswold joins me in this episode to help parents learn how to find joy and connection when communicating with their children. Caroline is a parenting coach who is passionate about facilitating respectful communication between parents and children from birth. There are many messages around the possibility of gifts...

22. How to talk about grief

December 15, 2021 14:00 - 48.3 MB

Grief can impact us all during the holiday season. The collective grief we’ve been experiencing during this global pandemic has been unprecedented in our lifetime. And even though we all experience grief or know someone who’s going through it, we don’t really know how to talk about it. Do we use words like loss, passing, dying, or what? Do we way we’re okay when clearly we are in mourning? In this episode, I invited grief expert Lee Pollak to teach us to talk about grief. Lee’s been a lic...

21. How to show up as the real you with your family

December 08, 2021 14:00 - 16 minutes - 23 MB

Who are you when you show up to spend time with your family? Are you comfortable sharing your authentic self? In today’s episode, I’m sharing a transformative communication tool that can help you show up with your family as the person you truly are. This communication model is called the Johari Window, and I wish it was more widely known! We’ll go in depth to explore each of the components of this very powerful model. I’ll also share examples from my own life and my work as a communicatio...

20. Your true power to handle family dynamics that need to change

December 01, 2021 14:00 - 15 minutes - 21.8 MB

During the holiday season, you may be spending more concentrated time with family, than you have in the past 2 years. And even though some things have changed, you may be wondering if your family dynamics would stay the same. Do you wish you could change how your friends and family communicate because that would make it easier for you to spend time with them? Then, listen to this episode! Takeaways from this episode: What you do and don’t have the power to change when it comes to a famil...

19. Going home for the holidays and feeling uneasy? Two ways to work with your feelings

November 24, 2021 14:00 - 12 minutes - 16.9 MB

For many people, and perhaps you as well, having a virtual holiday celebration with family members last year was a welcome break. As we head back to in-person gatherings this year, you may notice uncomfortable feelings emerging again. In this episode, I’m sharing two ways to work with your feelings so that you can enjoy the holidays and even bring connection, peace, and healing to the relationship with your family members. Takeaways from this episode: The holiday season can be a stressfu...

18. Could Non-violent Communication from Marshall Rosenberg, PhD be useful to you?

November 17, 2021 14:00 - 13 minutes - 18.3 MB

Many people ask me for book recommendations or want to know my opinion about popular books on communication. In this episode, I review the book “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” written by one of my dear teachers, Marshall Rosenberg, PhD. In Marshall's approach there are four sequential steps, which I describe in detail and give you examples about each of them. I also share 10 teachings from the book that have influenced Language Alchemy. Takeaways from this episode: “Nonvi...

17. Q&A: Anxious about being politically correct? Worried your language could offend others unintentionally?

November 10, 2021 14:00 - 16 minutes - 23 MB

Do you wonder what is“politically correct” or “right” language to refer to people or groups of people? Do you often worry you’ll use offensive words unintentionally? That’s exactly the question sent in by “M” which I am answering today. “Alejandra,” writes M., “I'm feeling anxious about what to say to people when I meet people for the first time. With all that I have been learning about systemic racism and unconscious biases, I don't know what's okay to say anymore? How do I make sure my la...

16. Cancel culture online is hurting us all

November 03, 2021 13:00 - 13 minutes - 17.9 MB

Communication on social media has the potential to be frustrating or painful, which is why this is the third episode in a row devoted to the topic. We looked at interpersonal dialogue in episode 14, and inner dialogue in episode 15, so now it’s time to examine cancel culture. You may be surprised to find out the origins of cancel culture don’t have anything to do with social media! Although it doesn’t have recent beginnings, there are several factors in our modern lives that have caused an...

15. How much can social media impact your inner dialogue? A lot.

October 27, 2021 13:00 - 15 minutes - 21.3 MB

As you scroll through social media, do you sometimes feel stress, frustration, and pain when you see certain posts? In episode 14, we considered interpersonal social media communication, but what about when posts elicit inner divisiveness? In this episode I’ll talk about the relationship between social media and your inner dialogue. I’ll share some things we tend to hear in our heads when we read certain posts, and I’ll offer you some reframes so that you can enjoy your engagement with soci...

14. Facebook is not the problem. We are

October 20, 2021 13:00 - 14 minutes - 20 MB

Are you using social media with awareness, or are you allowing it to foster divisiveness and pain? Facebook specifically has been in the news recently regarding the way it’s platform promotes polarizing content. At the same time, we can’t dismiss our own choices when it comes to what we post and comment. We share part of the responsibility for creating an environment of collaboration, kindness, and understanding. I’m sharing three things you can do immediately to move away reactive commun...

13. You get triggered... and then?

October 13, 2021 13:00 - 15 minutes - 21.8 MB

Despite what you may have heard before, getting triggered is not a bad thing and I’ll show you how in this episode.I’ll talk about how when you get to know your triggers and trigger reactions well, you can actually get closer to cultivating peace, connection, or love.You’ll hear about the three important things we must acknowledge about triggers and how we respond to them.And by the end of the episode, you’ll have three tools to work with your triggers.Takeaways from this episode: A differ...

12. Communication shutdowns: cause, effects, and an effective remedy

October 06, 2021 13:00 - 16 minutes - 22.9 MB

Are there times when you don’t know what to say? Maybe you stay quiet and end up feeling bad later because you missed a chance to say something meaningful. If you have this experience, or know people who do, you’ll find this episode helpful. When you lose your ability to say something, you go into communication shut down and later spend a lot of energy rehashing those conversations in your head. It can be exhausting. This habit is a somatic reaction in your body. I’m going to teach you...

11. What ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ actually communicates

September 29, 2021 13:00 - 13 minutes - 19.2 MB

Do you avoid conversations that, while important, may also be uncomfortable? When you do, you may use phrases such as “I don’t want to talk about that” or “Now is not the time.” When we say or do things to not talk about something important, you create disconnection. Often, we don’t even realize the ways we are avoiding connection because it has become your habitual way to communicate. However, you are an adult and you have a choice as to how you want to show up in your relationship...

10. Are you attacking others without even knowing it?

September 22, 2021 13:00 - 18 minutes - 24.8 MB

You know that using language to attack others creates disconnection, separation, and divisiveness. What you may not have considered much is that attacking comes in many forms. Would you like to know if you are engaging in one of them? I’m going to share with you various forms of the two main ways we attack others with language to help you raise your awareness about the use of your language that may be creating disconnection. With real life examples from my coaching clients, I’ll show you...

9. How to quiet down your inner critic to live in true connection with yourself and others

September 15, 2021 13:00 - 19 minutes - 27.2 MB

Your inner critic is that voice you hear in your head that tells you that you’re not good enough, capable enough, smart, or brave. This inner critic will keep you stuck and disconnected - unless you transform this internal communication so you can thrive. Today, we’re going to unpack where this inner critic starts and how it becomes so ingrained in our psyche. I’ll share two stories demonstrating the impact our inner critic can have in our life, one from Trevor Noah’s book Born A Crime a...

8. Q&As: How to Speak your Truth, Bias & Judgement

September 08, 2021 13:00 - 18 minutes - 25.9 MB

Do you wonder how to uncover your own “true self” that is often spoken about? Are you unsure how to handle biases in your own thoughts or others attacking you with words? I will answer these two questions brought so generously by listeners Britt and Angel. Our first question was sent in by Britt - “I don't understand how you're supposed to know your true self or your truth. How do you do this?” Beautiful question! I want you to explore a few specific areas of your thoughts and I have an...

Language Alchemy Podcast

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