In this skinny double-feature, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of his childhood favorites, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. After lusting after Viggo Mortensen (and his jeans), Elijah counters with a film from the very short list of martial arts slasher flicks, Human Lanterns. But can any martial arts movie match the unhinged ferocity of The Family? How did Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 cause baby Elijah to embarrass his family? And who is the dumbest protagonist in Kicking and Screaming history?  


The official snack pairing for Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 and Human Lanterns is chicharrones and crepes.  


This episode was brought to you by severe technical difficulties.

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