Judge John Hodgman
676 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 19 hours ago - ★★★★★ - 7.3K ratingsJohn Hodgman's Today in the Past podcast is now The Judge John Hodgman Podcast. Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, simply email it, along with your phone number, to [email protected]. THAT IS ALL.
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Episodes
Snap Judgment
June 08, 2022 18:23 - 1 hour - 59.9 MBEman brings the case against his wife, Cassie. When Cassie turned 38, Eman helped her with a photoshoot. She asked him to edit the photos in photoshop for her. But when he finished the task, she decided to post the unedited version on her social media. Eman says that Cassie took advantage of his free labor! Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Twitter User @robt77 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseTho...
Into The Ralphaverse
June 01, 2022 20:35 - 59 minutes - 55.3 MBAs the school year comes to an end all around the USA, so does Prom Season. We bring in Prom and school dance expert Jordan Morris (BUBBLE, Jordan, Jesse, Go!) help us clear the docket! We talk all about prom: corsages, scorned dates, promposals, and prom conventions that are worthy of a little side-eye.
My Legal Pony (RERUN)
May 25, 2022 18:05 - 1 hour - 61.7 MBThis week we are revisiting an episode deep in the archives, fan favorite MY LEGAL PONY! Nancy brings the case against her friend Becky. They are both veterinarians. Nancy lives out in the country, and owns a herd of Shetland ponies. She says the ponies act as ponies do, and are perfectly fine just as they are. Becky says Nancy’s ponies are ill-mannered. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Make sure to stay tuned after the verdict for some updates on these ponies and their behavior. Click HERE to ch...
Skip The Almonds, Flush The Toilet
May 18, 2022 18:30 - 59 minutes - 55.5 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Does one eat or drink soup? Should someone tell their student they look like Judge Hodgman? We rule on these disputes and also cases about toilet etiquette, Facetiming with one's partner over a meal, and hair styles!
Huzzah the Ringer!
May 11, 2022 18:45 - 1 hour - 66.6 MBHuzzah! Our docket is full of Dungeons & Dragons disputes so we called upon D&D Expert Griffin McElroy (The Adventure Zone) to help us clear it!
Pleat Bargain
May 04, 2022 19:21 - 1 hour - 62.2 MBAnn-Elizabeth files suit against her wife, Tiffany. Ann-Elizabeth says that she doesn’t cook because she finds it too overwhelming. Tiffany says that because Ann-Elizabeth is such a talented seamstress, it’s surprising that she would have trouble with cooking. To Tiffany, the skills should be transferable. But Ann-Elizabeth says that’s not how it works! Who's right? Who's wrong? Make sure to check out Ann-Elizabeth and Tiffany's web show PHOOLE AND THE GANG for more from this delightful cou...
Sue Chef
April 27, 2022 19:12 - 1 hour - 56 MBNathalie brings the case against her sister, Juliana. When they lived together last winter, they came up with a leftovers cooking challenge in order to limit their trips to the grocery store. Juliana thinks that Nathalie is too stingy with what they call “creativity points.” But Nathalie says that the challenge is more fun when it’s harder to get points. Who's right? Who's wrong?
Mulch and Bison
April 20, 2022 16:27 - 59 minutes - 55.8 MBIt's time to clear the docket! As we venture out into the world a bit more, how should we be dressing? What makes a men's sandal a "dad sandal?" If one puts sunglasses on the brim of their hat, are they still "wearing" them? Does black go with everything? Should a college graduate's partner wear a tie to the graduation? Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn talk all about these fashion and style cases, and more!
The Duality of Jean
April 13, 2022 17:58 - 1 hour - 56.8 MBGuest Bailiff Jean Grae returns to The Court to clear the docket! Spring is here. We've got (spring) cleaning disputes, cases about flowers, and seasonal allergy related sneezing!
Class Bee Spellony
April 06, 2022 15:00 - 1 hour - 61.4 MBKendall brings the case against her husband, Dave. They share a New York Times Games account and cannot figure out how to play the Spelling Bee game together. Kendall wants the game to herself but Dave wants the option to play it too! Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Twitter User @rmvance for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.
Hot Bread
March 30, 2022 17:18 - 1 hour - 63.1 MBIt's time to clear the docket! This week, Friend of the Court J. Kenji López-Alt joins us to talk about his new book, The Wok, and to help with cooking and food disputes! Citrus squeezers, grilled cheese, scrambled eggs, soup cooling, bread baking, and much more. Plus, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn finally try listener Dave's recommended Grape Nuts and poached egg (aka Gregg Nuts). Kenji's book, The Wok, is out NOW wherever books are sold. His article on expiration dates can b...
The Thank You Light
March 23, 2022 18:30 - 51 minutes - 47.8 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn discuss Sequim, WA, Grape Nuts and eggs, car communication features, dollops of mayo, Lord of the Rings trivia, and much more!
Request For Ex-Tradition
March 16, 2022 15:00 - 1 hour - 61.3 MBKyle files suit against his friend Brian. Sometime in college, Brian began a yearly tradition called “I Blame Kyle Day.” Now, 12 years later, Kyle and Brian’s friend group are keeping the day going. Kyle is tired of being blamed for his friends’ problems and would like Brian to put an end to it once and for all. Who's right? Who's wrong? Thank you to Twitter User @KidsDrDave for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: ...
Pup-Lick Defender
March 09, 2022 18:19 - 52 minutes - 49.4 MBAnnie files suit against her husband, Jeremy. When Jeremy does the dishes, he allows the family dog to lick plates and pots before continuing the cleaning. But, Annie thinks this practice is disgusting and would like him to stop. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Twitter User @bill_massey for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.
David Rees is Like the Wind
March 02, 2022 17:56 - 1 hour - 61.3 MBFriend of the Court David Rees (Election Profit Makers, Going Deep With David Rees) joins Judge Hodgman this week to clear the docket. They talk about memory, head rubs, noisy arcade machines, and wedding gift bag contents. Plus they talk about the new season of their show DICKTOWN, premiering tomorrow Thursday 3/3 on FXX!
Suing For Soul Custody
February 23, 2022 20:30 - 1 hour - 59.9 MBElena brings the case against her husband, Jason. Jason would like to sell his soul on a blockchain. But Elena thinks that this is a terrible idea! Who's right? Who's wrong? SPOILER ALERT: Visit MaxFunStore.com NOW and get your EPISODE JOKE REDACTED t-shirt while you can! Sales end March 9! Thank you to Twitter Users @AmeliaEHelmfor & @PaulSieger4 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or ...
Potable Cause
February 16, 2022 19:14 - 1 hour - 61.5 MBSarah brings the case against her sister, Amy. Amy says that she can taste the difference between water that has come from the bathroom tap and water that has come from the kitchen tap. Sarah doesn’t believe there is any way this can be true. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Expert Witness Lindsay Barr, a sensory scientist and co-founder of Draught Lab! Thank you to Twitter User @MeaghanLamothe for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for nami...
Juvenile Court Returns Again!
February 09, 2022 18:52 - 51 minutes - 48 MBIt's a special day in the Court of Judge John Hodgman! Guest Judge Oscar Thorn (age 8) joins us as we return to Juvenile Court! We clear the docket of cases involving kids and long underwear, tag, level up rules, trombone practicing, staring contest rules, paper shredding jobs, and YouTube channels.
Hampering With the Evidence
February 02, 2022 20:21 - 57 minutes - 53.3 MBKatherine would like to pack for short trips in a laundry basket. But her husband, Andy, says it’s not practical! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?
Dr. Goofus and Mr. Gallant
January 26, 2022 21:47 - 1 hour - 58.6 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Eye-open kissing, the John-Claude Van Damme movie HARD TARGET, tacos, walking your mom to her car at night, 20 questions, and the return of the segment JUSTICE DELAYED! Plus we say goodbye for now to the Great Lakes Beach Report!
Inside the Green Monster
January 19, 2022 20:08 - 58 minutes - 54.7 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Cases about lock picking, drought resistant beans, memes, toe tapping, and cut plants.
A Chime For All Seasons
January 12, 2022 18:36 - 53 minutes - 50.1 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Foot powders, shower plungers, winter windchimes, Blink 182, TMI at restaurants, and an update from Rudy on Big Toad Road!
Rashomom (RERUN)
January 05, 2022 17:00 - 43 minutes - 40.4 MBThis week, we are revising RASHOMOM! A Judge John Hodgman Classic that originally ran nearly ten years ago! Rebekah, her mother Denise and grandmother Gloria bring to the court a generational clash of memory — specifically, whose memory is more reliable, an adult’s or a child’s? Denise is positive she lived next door to a grey house as a child, while Gloria insists the house exists only as a figment of her daughter’s imagination. Rebekah has played referee many times in the dispute of the Gr...
The Egg, The Nog, and The Holy Sprite
December 29, 2021 22:48 - 1 hour - 72.6 MBContent Warning: This episode is entirely about eating and drinking various foods. There is live consumption of an alcoholic cocktail, and accompanying discussion, from 06:00-11:04. There is also a brief description of cooking live lobsters between 01:12:25-01:12:46. It's the last episode of 2021 and we are celebrating with a Judge John Hodgman Office Party! Inspired by a case regarding mixing eggnog and Sprite, the Judge sent a call for our audience's favorite holiday foods and drinks. Bai...
Eating In A-Bed-Ing
December 22, 2021 18:09 - 58 minutes - 54 MBContent Warning: This week's episode is about the relationship between food and feelings. While the episode is fun and friendly, this could be a subject that is sensitive to some. Sarah files suit against her husband, David. Sarah loves to eat in bed but has stopped doing it because David finds it disgusting. Sarah, however, misses her old source of comfort and would like to eat in bed every once in a while. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Follow Sarah and see her beautiful cakes on Instagram @...
Gruel and Unusual Punishment
December 15, 2021 16:00 - 59 minutes - 54.5 MBAubrey files suit against her husband, Chris. Aubrey wants to continue a family Christmas Morning tradition involving Cream of Wheat, an almond, and luck. But, Chris, is opposed! Who's right? Who's wrong? Thank you to Twitter User @bradywiggins for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.
Cuddle Formation
December 08, 2021 18:58 - 54 minutes - 49.8 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Gen X vs Zoomer text etiquette, cat names, backpack strap location, Jimmy Fallon, and jacket trades gone wrong. Plus we hear back with answers from our questions in Episode 543: The Veil of Honor! Get your tickets now for LIVE JUSTICE at SF Sketchfest! We'll be appearing on 1/22/22 at the Sydney Goldstein Theater, ready to bring back JUSTICE to the San Francisco Bay Area! You won't want to miss it. And if you have a case for the live show, please let us know! ...
Judge, Jury, And Extra-Cushions-For-Her
December 01, 2021 22:59 - 54 minutes - 50 MBMyles files suit against his wife, Isabel. Myles says that Isabel’s graduate school work takes up too much space in the living room. But, Isabel says that her setup is the most comfortable way to do her work. The living room is her space too! Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Twitter User @BenjaminWalkup for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJ...
Trialceratops
November 24, 2021 20:02 - 49 minutes - 45.7 MBKeil files suit against his brother, Aaron, over a bet they made during their childhood. The Jurassic Park tagline is, “An Adventure 65 Million Years in the Making.” Keil contends that the film took 65 million years to make, but Aaron disagrees. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Twitter User @kswizzle13 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJH...
The Veil of Honor
November 17, 2021 22:53 - 49 minutes - 45.3 MBIt's time to clear the docket! When should one change the lint filter (aka lint screen)? Are raisins good? Should we be compelled to apologize for every fart, even if we are in a separate room from anyone who can hear it? Plus the return of THE GREAT LAKES BEACH REPORT! And much more!
Not Today, Satanbot
November 10, 2021 21:54 - 54 minutes - 49.6 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Stinky jeans, spaghetti sauce, meal beverages, metal inspired karaoke performances, and much more!
Fancy Ducks vs Fancy Geese
November 03, 2021 21:08 - 56 minutes - 51.5 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Bed time, snacking cheese cutting, fancy ducks and geese, dolphin butts, cats sleeping in closets, and much more! Plus an update on Episode 487: Brush with the Law!
Spooky Day, Spooky Night
October 27, 2021 22:18 - 1 hour - 75.2 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Wearing sleep shorts out of the house, Christmas cookie types, bringing outside produce into restaurants, loud typing, and much more! Plus more letters from Emily and her sister Louisa from Juvenile Court, and an interview with Aidan, the co-owner of the Spirit Halloween Wiki! A perfect way to close our 2021 Spooky Season!
Fright Court
October 20, 2021 22:59 - 47 minutes - 44.5 MBJessie files suit against her husband Carter. Carter says he grew up in a haunted house. But Jessie doesn’t believe him! Who's right? Who's wrong? Thank you to Steve Ciabattoni for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.
Auntie Anne-icus Brief
October 13, 2021 18:34 - 57 minutes - 53 MBMark and Hal host the Maximum Fun show WE GOT THIS, wherein they settle small debates. In 2018, they attempted to decide the Best Pretzel Shape but came to an impasse. Hal thinks that Mark was too unwilling to properly entertain a debate. Mark says that Hal betrayed the show’s core by removing the default pretzel shape from contention. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Dan Gualtieri for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow Judge John Hodgman on Faceb...
Preliminary Herring
October 06, 2021 20:38 - 58 minutes - 53.2 MBKareena brings the case against her husband, Ian. The two of them would like to get a fish tank for their home. When they agreed on this, Kareena had a small tank in mind, with one or two fish. But, Ian says he will only accept a 35 gallon tank -- nothing less! Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Nicole DuBow for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions there.
Double In-Dented-Ty
September 29, 2021 20:53 - 49 minutes - 44.9 MBThis week, we hear a dispute between two comedy writers: Andy Wood (Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Probably Science podcast) and Chip Pope (LOPEZ, It Happened in Hollywood podcast)! Andy brings the case against his friend, Chip. Andy accidentally backed into Chip's car, causing damage to the door. Andy agreed to fully cover the cost of the repair. But before Chip could get the door fixed, Chip was in another car accident that caused larger damage to the door. Andy says that because of the seco...
Live Dangerously, Look Terribly
September 22, 2021 18:00 - 56 minutes - 51.7 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Beard stubble, shower hair, Friendsgiving, sleeping while listening to podcasts, the difference between SUVs and trucks, and much much more! Check out Ryan McDonough's (aka "Cuervo Man") film LAST NIGHT IN ROZZIE at lastnightinrozzie.com! And check out Election Profit Makers, available where you get your podcasts! For more David Rees, take a look at Get Your War On!
Live Upside Down or Die
September 15, 2021 21:53 - 55 minutes - 50.9 MBSummertime Funtime Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte joins Judge John Hodgman in saying goodbye to his New England Summer. It's the Judge's last day in his Summertime chambers with Joel Mann the Mole Mann at WERU Community Radio in Orland, Maine. The J Squad and Lil Monte clear the docket of the New England located disputes waiting for justice. Table manners, how to eat a burger, Massachusetts pronunciations, Vermont and New Hampshire orientation, New England borders, and Cape Cod geography! Tha...
Mr. G & Professor K
September 08, 2021 22:33 - 53 minutes - 49.6 MBIt's time to clear the docket! Mom jokes, room names, grungy jackets, family group texts, garden tending, and much more!
The Return of Juvenile Court
September 01, 2021 13:00 - 57 minutes - 52.4 MBIt's time to clear the docket and this week we are bringing back JUVENILE COURT! Disputes (mostly) from kids! Book care, door locks, pet hedgehogs, pet dogs, disc golf and more! TICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW for our Judge John Hodgman Live Streaming Event with the London Podcast Festival! It’s happening on Thursday 09/09/2021 at 12:30pm PT / 3:30pm ET / 8:30pm BST. For more info and tickets, visit bit.ly/JJHOUDGMAN or click here!
The Motion is Cary Granted
August 25, 2021 17:30 - 1 hour - 57.5 MBFilm Fanatic Rick files suit against his wife, Nikki. Rick saves his Golden Age film viewing for his own time because Nikki is usually not interested. Together, the two of them tend to watch TV shows. But, Rick was shocked one day to find Nikki watching the 1963 film CHARADE without him, and asked that she save that movie for him. She doesn't think she should have had to stop watching it! Who's right? Who's wrong? Thank you to David Hoffman for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title fo...
Maine Hospitality
August 18, 2021 21:13 - 55 minutes - 50.4 MBWe are clearing the docket this week! Forest walking, Christmas related small talk, egg placement, condiments, and more! TICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW for our Judge John Hodgman Live Streaming Event with the London Podcast Festival! It’s happening on Thursday 09/09/2021 at 12:30pm PT / 3:30pm ET / 8:30pm BST. For more info and tickets, click here!
Sweet Corn Season
August 11, 2021 18:04 - 46 minutes - 42.4 MBWe are clearing the docket this week! Corn buttering, spider removal, microwave etiquette, beer gardens, and much more! TICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW for our Judge John Hodgman Live Streaming Event with the London Podcast Festival! It’s happening on Thursday 09/09/2021 at 12:30pm PT / 3:30pm ET / 8:30pm BST. For more info and tickets, click here!
Hubble Jeopardy
August 04, 2021 16:57 - 55 minutes - 50.9 MBKathryn files suit against her friend, Jerome. Jerome commissioned Kathryn to paint large scale panels inspired by the Hubble telescope photos. She did, and he's thrilled with them except for one thing: She didn't sign her work! She says that's not her thing. But, even still, Jerome thinks she should sign the panels. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Thank you to Elyse O'Neill for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly ...
The Full Micky
July 28, 2021 17:51 - 46 minutes - 43.2 MBTime to clear the docket! Disputes about accepting rent from your parents, chocolate covered pretzels, classic movies, morning text message etiquette, sausages, and much more! Plus Joel Mann's entire Micky Dolenz story!
What Else Is There to Do?
July 21, 2021 21:39 - 56 minutes - 52.1 MBTime to clear that docket! Eyedrops in public, watching the Tour de France, mystery dog poop bags, gift card use, communal bookshelves, and much more! Plus an update from our favorite cryptocurrency miners, the C-Team!
Right to a Fair Earring
July 15, 2021 00:39 - 53 minutes - 49.8 MBBen files suit against his friend and writing partner, Graham. The two of them agreed that if they were not hired on a writing staff by the end of 2020, they would get matching ear piercings. They did end up getting hired on a show, but their start date was at the very beginning of 2021. Graham believes that since they were offered the jobs in 2020, the spirit of the pact has been fulfilled. But Ben disagrees and believes that they need to follow through with the ear piercings! Who’s right?...
Might As Well Judge (Rerun)
July 07, 2021 16:04 - 53 minutes - 49.6 MBBig thanks to John Darnielle for his expertise on this week’s episode! The Mountain Goats' latest album "Dark in Here" is OUT NOW on Merge Records. Click HERE to read Jesse Raub’s 3,333 word essay about Michael Anthony! Thank you to Adam Capybara, Mike Kennedy, and Chris Rini for suggesting this week’s title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.
Citation For Glittering
June 30, 2021 22:09 - 1 hour - 56.1 MBRudy, of RUDY'S PLACE, returns to Judge John Hodgman's court and brings his wife, Mary, with him! Rudy can’t stand glitter. He says that Mary keeps bringing it into the house and would like her to stop. Mary says that Rudy needs to find a better way to cope. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae! The Rudy's Place theme song: Lyrics written by Judge Hodgman, performed by Jonathan Coulton. LINKS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE: bit.ly/dicktown Maximum Fun's I, Podius with John ...