It Is Complicated
66 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 months ago -Josephine Baird and Dr J are contrary beings, where the answer to every question is "it's complicated", what might seem to be simple topics, like name, age, pronouns, or more complex ideas like games, brains, pain and anger - are all treated with gentle discussion.
Josephine is a computer games academic, activist and artist - and is a "Femme of International Mystery"
Dr J has the job title "Harbinger of Change" at Thoughtworks, the gender "Transgressive Non-Binary GenderQueer" and is a Troublemaker and #queernuisance - "because ... branding".
They talk through topics from their various viewpoints - in a careful, kind and generally amusing way - even when there is pain there is laughter - because ... dark.
Exposure is great - it doesn’t put food on the table. If you want to support us making more queer things like this- https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated
If you want to get into a discussion with us - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd or find us on Mastodon https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated
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Episodes
Pressure is complicated
March 11, 2024 19:58 - 57 minutes - 30.6 MBThis episode comes with a content warning - it is dark! Some of the darker places ended up on the cutting room floor, and it is still dark. Be safe when you listen to this. An apology to Brianna Ghey and her family. Dr J managed to mispronounce their surname all the way through. We picked this up in the final edit. In this episode we tackle the level of transphobia that is now so entrenched in our society that people with privilege can make a jibe about it within parliament. We talk abo...
Queer Voices - Samantha Béart - Performing is complicated
December 06, 2023 23:39 - 1 hour - 41 MBIn the fifth in our Queer Voices series we talk with Samantha Béart, actor, currently known for playing Karlach in Baldur’s Gate 3. We talked about how games and performances and performing in and for games, allowed us to explore, examine and find ourselves. We get into the ways games have allowed us to understand the world and ourselves, the joy of the “Fuck around and Find out” nature of some games, how trauma can be understood within a game. How games can take us deeper and into places w...
Queer Voices - Laura Kate Dale - Is joy complicated?
October 27, 2023 12:05 - 49 minutes - 28.2 MBIn the fourth in our Queer Voices series we talk with Laura Kate Dale, games journalist, author, and accessibility consultant. We started on how some of our narratives are routed in negativity, and how that can be turned into talking about Joy and Euphoria, small or large. This leads into us talking about how the little things can fight back against the system every day, challenging how we see our own lives. We can overlook the small joys, taking them for granted, ignoring the heart sing mo...
Queer Voices - Rosie Garland - Routine is complicated
September 18, 2023 10:24 - 1 hour - 38.5 MBIn the third in our Queer Voices series we talk with novelist, poet and performer Rosie Garland. We set off talking about what we all have on (and sadly some of the opportunities to see Rosie are now in the past due to our slowness to release this due to 2023). We talk about performing and writing. We move onto what feeds us, the activities that we do every day, or maybe only sometimes, that feed our souls and hearts and minds. They keep us going, the routines that are concrete and quantifi...
Complicated more than usual
July 17, 2023 14:23 - 44 minutes - 60.5 MBThis is a special episode where we have Dr J on the Mind the Product podcast - https://www.mindtheproduct.com/business-analysts-in-product-dr-j-harrison/ Dr J also talks about 2023 and why they haven’t had a chance to watch any Keanu Reeves recenlty We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Special Complicated Complicated Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated Give us feedback - Our Mastodon - https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated- or leave us a rating or a re...
Safe is complicated
March 31, 2023 10:35 - 47 minutes - 26.1 MBReleased on Trans Day Of Visibility. This episode we talk about the way you can tell if a space is safe, the flags we see, both green and red, how they can co-exist, and that we can spot duplicity and performative actions. We also talk about being here - for each other. That simple notion of being here, as someone to talk to, as someone to step up, as someone who takes the blows so you don’t. Our being here is winning, we are hope, bruised and bloodied, running back into the battle! Th...
Queer Voices - Dr Joe Parslow - Breathing together is complicated
January 31, 2023 10:41 - 1 hour - 39.2 MBIn the second in our Queer Voices series we talk with Dr Joe Parslow - Lecturer in Popular and Queer Performance and Hashtag Doctor Husband Boyfriend Joe - about drag and queer performance, breathing and togetherness - and the complications around making space and getting to breathe in those spaces. The queer notion of breathing together, coming together, and aspiration. Reflecting energy between the performers and the audience. How this connects us all in the space. We have a transcript...
eNBy City - being on a panel is not a binary
January 24, 2023 18:04 - 31 minutes - 43.7 MBThis is a special episode of a panel discussion recorded at eNBy City with Dr J, malakai, Haz and Lilly. We are talking to a room of mostly students. The event focussed on Queer Joy. This is the third part of a three part recording. We have done our best with the recording to clean up the sound during this last part of the panel discussion. This was recorded for the Hear & Queer Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/@hearqueer5656 We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Special 3 eNBy...
eNBy City - being on a panel has multiple parts
January 08, 2023 15:52 - 28 minutes - 39.8 MBThis is a special episode of a panel discussion recorded at eNBy City with Dr J, malakai, Haz and Lilly. We are talking to a room of mostly students. The event focussed on Queer Joy. This is the second part of a three part recording. Be aware about half way through we pulled the recording equipment apart - and it means the audio quality drops - I’ve done my best to equalise it and improve it - malaki and myself still have a pretty much working mic, Haz, Lilly and the audience ha...
eNBy City - being on a panel is complicated
January 04, 2023 19:38 - 31 minutes - 42.7 MBThis is a special episode of a panel discussion recorded at eNBy City with Dr J, malakai, Haz and Lilly. The event focussed on Queer Joy. This is the first part of a two (or more) part recording. This was recorded for the Hear & Queer Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/@hearqueer5656 We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Special eNBy City Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated Give us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIs...
Ambition is complicated
December 08, 2022 14:18 - 1 hour - 68.3 MBWhen asked the question “where do you want to be in ten years?” we break down - why? We spend so much time surviving, how do we then look towards a future? Our futures we see are not chrononormative, and we often step outside of the standard expectations. How do we see ambition, and its link to opportunity? Can you be ambitious when you can’t believe you can achieve it? What does ambition mean when you always think you won't have another chance to have a job? What does it mean when you have...
Queer Voices - Kate Bornstein - Hope is complicated
October 28, 2022 09:04 - 51 minutes - 32 MBIn the first in our Queer Voices series we talk with queer legend, writer and performer Kate Bornstein. We set off talking about Hope, flow through ideas of gender expression and authenticity, the nature of being authentic. If Hope and Fear are a binary, or can co-exist in a moment. We enter the realms of superheroes and secret identities, why Batman is an Elon Musk wank fantasy, and why Neil Gaiman’s Endless are perfection as a theology to lean into. We land on queer joy as the con...
Having a plan is complicated
September 06, 2022 20:26 - 34 minutes - 36 MBWe’re back in a rare in the room together recording - We touch on the last six months for both of us - covid features prominently, as does fatigue and mental health. Talking about plans, having one, and ambition, or appearing not to have some. Why we want to keep doing this podcast and what plans we have into 2025. How does it feel to have a three year plan? Well as queers, this is .. complicated. We made 50+ episodes without any real plan - so why do we think we need one? W...
Hearing it is complicated
May 20, 2022 10:08 - 36 minutes - 25 MBWell 2022 has been a right nightmare already!! This time we talk (in Dr J’s case very excitedly) about the words we need to hear and what it means to hear them. Dr J has four things they always wanted to hear - and by saying them to another person - they get to also hear them for themselves: - I am proud of you - I love you - I think you are an amazing person - I can’t wait to see your brilliant future Josephine reflects what it means to hear these things - especially when you ar...
Making it is complicated
April 20, 2022 16:14 - 48 minutes - 31.2 MBThis time we celebrate creating 50 podcast episodes - or 51, or 52 depending on how you count. We are excited about this - and there are moments when Dr J is obviously super excited. Josephine maintains some sort of dignity. When we started the podcast we were both locked down in our spaces without structure from our day jobs (Dr J was furloughed, Josephine was between work), and 18 months later we are still in the same rooms, having conversations, and quite different lives in some ways...
Taking up space is complicated
December 15, 2021 18:02 - 39 minutes - 26.9 MBBeing in the room and taking up space is difficult. It takes a lifetime to believe that we should be in *this* room having *this* conversation, having self faith, self belief and humility is a challenge. Saying “I am here” is the hardest thing. It is simply correct that it is this way - I am here is sufficient. It is right that I am included. Lack of self belief is a structural problem - there are those (Cis white men with a posh accent) who are assumed to belong, speak, take up space....
Performance is complicated
October 06, 2021 16:35 - 35 minutes - 24 MBPerformance changes your life, it changes how you think about things, it changes how you feel about yourself. This is a favourite theory of Dr J’s, and in our case it is true. We met over performance, we found ourselves and identity through performance, and we find ourselves and our experiences reflected in performance. We tell the tale of workshopping J’s gender identity, and how that came about. How performance built on ideas and conversations, allowing an identity to form. We ...
Scheduling a podcast is complicated
September 15, 2021 09:24 - 37 minutes - 21.8 MBThis week we cover two topics - Working full time and creating a podcast, and the movie Constantine starring Keanu Reeves. We have gone from a time when we had less restrictions on our time (lockdown, combined with furlough/unemployment was good for podcasting) and we both now have very full on full time jobs, one of us has a partner, and a child they want to spend time with, the other has houseplants. We both have mental health to take care of (does this year ever give up throwing shite a...
Working from home is complicated
August 15, 2021 12:26 - 44 minutes - 28.7 MBBased on a listener request for a discussion on working from home in the current culture environment from a perspective that is not a middle class straight white cis man - we touch on the advantages we have as queers that’s made this easier, and what advantages that others within our community might not have. We cover the way work has changed, and how output in academia has increased but only by men (are you surprised? We weren’t). Having more than one job is normal for most minority gr...
Etiquette is complicated
July 27, 2021 16:12 - 38 minutes - 21.7 MBHow did covid change how we do this politeness thing? Is there queer etiquette? What happens when we rub against people’s expectations when we state our boundaries? Is our queer etiquette a reaction to the hypocrisy of the middle-class “polite”? How can we be respectful, equitable, and inclusive? What is the height of “good manners”? Is making people comfortable where we should be aiming? Is respect where this aims for? We touch on how crossing countries can mean crossing class, and ...
Allies are complicated
July 12, 2021 14:30 - 38 minutes - 21.9 MBRecorded during Pride Month, when everything has a rainbow slapped on it, what is allyship? When is it performative? What is the context that Allyship can happen within? When does the allyship have an investment? When is it solidarity? When will people stand between their LGBTQ+ employees and harm? How can we tell the difference? Is there a macro level and a micro level set of actions? Can we always tell which it is? Seeing our sense of self used as a marketing tool by some can be soul de...
Being upbeat is complicated
June 08, 2021 16:57 - 38 minutes - 21.3 MBBeing upbeat is complicated - when is the smiling face a mask? In the face of a continuing pandemic and life doing it’s worst, we discuss being upbeat, having humour about the situation. How do we engage in a non-cynical way when we have this rolling anger underneath it all? Is our humour and positivity good for us, and for those around us? Should we let our anger show more clearly? We are angry and positive at the same time. Is our optimism in spite of it all a sign of us being non-no...
Lockdown easing is complicated
May 04, 2021 16:01 - 30 minutes - 19 MBLockdown easing is complicated - what is this normal we will return to? One of us has had a second vaccine and can stop shielding - and now we can think about what this means for us and how this is impacting on our mental health. It is more complicated than you’d first think - when we talk about “returning to normal” what does that mean when “normal” wasn’t a good place for us? What social inequalities are highlighted in this conversation - who are we ignoring in our “return to norm...
Imposter Syndrome is complicated
April 20, 2021 17:07 - 38 minutes - 24.3 MBImposter Syndrome is complicated - if I had cis white straight man confidence I would.. We talk about the impact of imposter syndrome on queers. The extra layers that we deal with at times - when you’ve been told by a culture that you’re not good enough, that you’re somewhat suspect - how do we start to enter more normative spaces? We give examples of how we overcome this when we face it - and how we fail to overcome it on our own - how we can get ourselves into establishment spaces....
Being visible is complicated
April 12, 2021 17:03 - 32 minutes - 20.8 MBBeing visible is complicated - Positive visibility matters. For Trans Day of Visibility we decided to do an episode on why we are visible. Dr J celebrates a ten year anniversary of being out publicly as non-binary in their workspaces. What it means to be visible in spaces where we are celebrated and how that impacts on us, and people who see us. What it feels like to have your face plastered all over the Stockholm Subway, and what’s changed in the past ten years. We celebrate having ...
Why we need Queer Spaces
March 29, 2021 17:50 - 31 minutes - 20 MBWhy we need Queer Spaces - Special Episode for the Queer House Party Radio Show. You can see it here: https://foundation.fm/show/the-friday-takeover Talking about how we met and how queer spaces were involved in that - why queer spaces are needed and what they provide to queers that other spaces don’t - tldr; it’s being in a space where we are not in a minority- finding people like ourselves there, and seeing our experiences reflected from the stage. Why the smoking areas in queer spac...
Gaining our voice is complicated
March 25, 2021 11:41 - 34 minutes - 23 MBGaining our voice is complicated - So is making ourselves heard. This week we have a guest - Michelle Belcher - https://www.michellebelcher.tv/ and we three talk about voices, gaining our voices and giving voice to our thoughts. What does it mean to gain your voice? What decisions do we make to be heard (and seen) as ourselves? How can we prepare ourselves for changes to our voices? What do we give up when we try and be heard as ourselves? What does it mean when we have to work to m...
Being Trans is complicated
March 15, 2021 19:50 - 36 minutes - 24.3 MBBeing Trans is complicated - especially in times of covid! This week we have a guest - Michelle Belcher - https://www.michellebelcher.tv/ and we three talk about coming out as trans or non-binary, how we found ourselves, how this changes in the midst of covid, and how that reflects on the ways we’ve all come out, as queer, as trans, as non-binary - often more than once. We cover history, the gaming industry - and talk how Gilgamesh (via a musical) and Octodad (a video game) show that w...
Getting healthcare is complicated
March 08, 2021 22:42 - 37 minutes - 23.4 MBGetting healthcare is complicated - what script can we use? We talk about getting healthcare/medical interventions and the experiences we have had. We talk about ‘Trans broken arm” (or in one of our cases Trans Broken leg), and while sometimes we think we’ve had privilege - we find out we didn’t. Content Note: We discuss medical procedures and transphobic treatment We talk about a script of three questions to make interacting with healthcare as a trans/non-binary/gender non-conforming pers...
Being queer is complicated
February 22, 2021 22:16 - 30 minutes - 19.1 MBBeing queer is complicated - are we queer enough? We talk about the notion of queer and the extended ideas that come with queer and when are we “queer enough” - and when can we call ourselves queer? Where does “queer enough” begin? Who gets to decide? Do we recruit? We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 35 Transcript The short film we mention - Queerer than Thou - on YouTube - Queerer Than Thou Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated Give us feedback -...
Being bullied is complicated
February 15, 2021 17:33 - 34 minutes - 21.5 MBBeing bullied is complicated - and how others respond is also. This comes with a content note - we discuss bullying and violence. We talk about that phrase “Don’t be a victim” and the status quo warriors who say it to us - and what that means in terms of how bullying works and the complications of our responses - the social scripts we play and those we play against. We give our ideas on how to solve such a complex situation from our different perspectives - and we have quite different ...
Lockdown and Covid trauma
February 08, 2021 17:10 - 40 minutes - 25.1 MBLockdown and Covid trauma - and queer survival is complicated. How queers are surviving the lockdown and the extended trauma of the Covid pandemic. We talk about privilege, and the privilege of being able to shelter - and how we as queers have developed superpowers to survive these long slow trauma events - we are glittery cockroaches who will be there at the end of days - not just surviving - partying! We talked about two books - Jamie Hale’s book of sonnets - Shield - available here: http...
2021 continues
January 27, 2021 11:31 - 9 minutes - 5.11 MBBonus Episode 2 - 2021 continues - and is 2020 plus one. A special episode, recorded live (so unedited, and one of us is on pain medication), where we cover the last 26 hours or so… and why our “homework” is late. TLDR; Josephine has a broken leg after a fall in the snow This will lead to another episode in the future - “So you’re trans/non-binary and engaging with basic healthcare” or "What to do when you as a medical professional find out your patient is trans/non-binary" Our Pat...
Media is complicated
January 18, 2021 17:23 - 32 minutes - 20.2 MBMedia is complicated - or maybe not. We talk through the Bechdel test, what it is for and how it works and propose our own version for Trans and Non-Binary representation in film/TV/shows. The Laverne Totah Test: 1) Have a Trans or Non-Binary Character 2) Played by a Trans or Non-Binary actor 3) Whose main narrative purpose is not tragedy It’s simple! It’s setting the bar incredibly low (we talk about why this is important). It is simple to pass the Laverne Totah Test - you can simp...
Introducing ourselves is complicated
January 11, 2021 17:17 - 32 minutes - 20.5 MBIntroducing ourselves is complicated - and it can be an emotional journey. We talk through what a change in employment can mean, what being visibly ourselves when we are employed can mean. We cover the notions of visibility and safety, and how this complicates our lives and the decisions we make every day about visibility. How our fear of loss can impact on our ability to enjoy, and relax in spaces. Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon...
Being lighthearted is complicated
January 04, 2021 17:44 - 36 minutes - 23.1 MBBeing lighthearted complicated - we attempt to do something fun and fail due to complications. We discuss postcolonial readings of popular Christmas songs, Latin for “in the middle of”, we attempt to answer simple random questions, and thanks to events we even had to add a postscript as events and people’s comments overtook our conversation - thanks to a particular trans person's comments in the media. We go on many journeys - and rants abound. Yes… everything is complicated. Now with impr...
Being ourselves can be complicated
December 21, 2020 17:28 - 32 minutes - 21.4 MBBeing ourselves can be complicated - and it is so freeing! In a special episode, we interview the amazing Max Marchewicz (wheeliequeermerbabe on insta) - a BSL interpreter, access consultant, and fellow member of the Queer House Party crew - talking about the joy of being able to be yourself in your workplace, the fun of working online and how that makes a more queer way of working, How have our disabilities, our neurodiversity, and our queer life experience helped us navigate the changes...
Social Media is complicated
December 07, 2020 21:15 - 34 minutes - 21.7 MBSocial Media is complicated - and trolling can be fun! The way we use social media is different when you are non-heteronormative - we use social media to connect to people we don’t know and have never met - more heteronormative people tend to connect to people they do know and have met. Why do we have these differences in how we use social medias? Are we only creating bubbles? What are trolls, how do we react to them, and how can we use their tactics for good? Now with improved accessibi...
Value is Complicated
November 30, 2020 22:22 - 38 minutes - 23.3 MBValue is complicated - How do we value ourselves and each other in an imperfect world that all too often undervalues us? We talk about how to value our time, each other, our differences and our similarities. We talk about mutually valuing is a wonderful way to exchange what we value in each other. And we also talk about making sure that we are not undervalued when making those exchanges. We know it can be really hard to value ourselves, so please know that we value you. And we take ...
Gaming is complicated
November 23, 2020 17:28 - 35 minutes - 22.9 MBGaming is complicated - How do we understand stories within games? Skyrim might be the only game according to one of us - that doesn’t prevent us talking about the ideas that make games work and how that allows us to make sense of our world. Games are more serious as media than we think - they promote discourse and participation. How does modding a game allow us to build on our experience, and build something that allows for us to represent ourselves more within games. Why creating the ...
Building Community is complicated
November 16, 2020 17:30 - 35 minutes - 22.6 MBBuilding Community is complicated - How we form networks differs in “queer’ world from straight world. Common experiences help us bond deeply and quickly, and yet those can also be temporary. How does this style work when you try it in the more normative world? How do we subvert the normative ways of networking to locate and bond with queers like ourselves? How does the description of ourselves and how we interact change when we use a normative lens? We describe queers as parkour runner...
Getting it out is complicated
November 09, 2020 17:46 - 37 minutes - 23.9 MBGetting it out is complicated - Why it’s important to have a rant buddy. We sometimes need spaces to vent, to get those things off our chest. To talk about what is worrying us, and processing it out of our heads. Without that space, and those people, we suffer - trying to hold things and working things through on your own is hard. We cover why the podcast started and why we keep talking and talking and ranting. How Covid lockdown made this wonderful thing exist. Common processing and know...
Production is complicated
November 02, 2020 19:47 - 33 minutes - 21.2 MBProduction is complicated - is it better to be paid or be heard. We talk about producing events, as a pair with over 35 years of production experience between us - we talk about the best ways we’ve approached production - and tell some tales of when it’s gone wrong. We talk about Queer House Party - becuase it is one of the best examples of what happens when you centre accessibility and inclusion - in every part of it’s mindset and practices. “The massive amounts of organisation that ha...
Representation is complicated
October 26, 2020 12:07 - 30 minutes - 19 MBRepresentation is complicated - Good Representation is wonderful when we locate it. There is a lot going on at the moment - we wanted to bring a happier viewpoint, and talk about our favorite ways of seeing queers and non-binary and trans people within the media. What it means to see yourself represented in media - in a normalised way - where your story is about things other than your gender. What it means to be a person who washes their socks! Media we talk aboutL Chuck Tingl...
Class is complicated
October 19, 2020 14:50 - 30 minutes - 19.2 MBClass is complicated - Honorifics are the way it can show up. What it means as a non-binary person to rub up against the service industry. Do impromptu lessons on gender help? How can we disrupt the power differential and how can we as queers perform class in a way that has respect and safety for all involved. When the Service industry runs to scripts, how can we make them more inclusive, in a way that works for everyone? Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episo...
Art is complicated
October 12, 2020 10:24 - 36 minutes - 23 MBArt is complicated - Censorship and that narrative is made more complex by queers - how does talking about queer lived experience blur this boundary? Josephine and Dr J talk with Suzanne Shifflett, painter and tattoo artist, based in Long Beach, California. We cover the hustle we all face as queer and artists, and how we constantly hustle to survive and be seen. We are the glittery cockroaches who find ways to survive. The systematic cis-heteronormativity in society means than censorship of...
Disability is complicated
October 05, 2020 10:37 - 34 minutes - 22.1 MBDisability is complicated - Access is simple. If you focus on accessibility where do we end up? If we change how we see disability, how does this impact on how we can focus on access. What new technologies can we use to make spaces more accessible. We talk about Queer House Party and how we work to improve access - and how a recorded live stream of a QHP party is helping make auto captioning better. We talk about how to include those who are “traditionally not included” using ideas o...
Neurodiversity is complicated
September 28, 2020 10:40 - 28 minutes - 18.2 MBNeurodiversity is complicated - brains are complex? If we start with “A” where do you end up? What does it mean when you’re asked to mask your anxiety/autism? How we think and process the world is different, and complicated. Building our subjective views of the world. Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated Give us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to he...
Privilege is complicated
September 21, 2020 10:53 - 29 minutes - 18.6 MBPrivilege is complicated - based on a tweet by @ExteriorWorld - "are you a pornhub category or are you privileged?" - we examine what is privilege, it’s nuances, the intersections. We queers know how to play the Privilege game! How we use and subvert it. Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated Give us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your though...
Transnormativity is complicated
September 14, 2020 13:19 - 38 minutes - 24.7 MBTrans Normativity is complicated - Is there a "normal" narrative about how to be trans? How does this narrative impact on how we view the notions of Trans and Non-Binary? Is there a "normal" narrative for being Non-Binary? If this develops what does that mean for our future? Not often talked about, we talk about it here! Here we introduce the topic, and promise to be back to develop the idea more. Normative for a given value of Normative. Now with improved accessibility - we have a tra...