Humanize Me
303 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 months ago - ★★★★★ - 200 ratingsA podcast about making the most of this life by reframing your story, building better relationships, and cultivating wonder and gratitude. Hosted by longtime counselor and community builder Bart Campolo, the show features warm, thoughtful conversations about generating love and meaning in a universe that doesn’t always provide it.
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Episodes
902: A tool for connecting with someone
March 06, 2024 10:16 - 42 minutes - 49 MBBart shares a tool he's used often to connect with people in the manner discussed in episode 901 with Rich Slatcher.
901: The power of self-disclosure in relationships, with Rich Slatcher
January 30, 2024 23:44 - 1 hour - 94.4 MBRich Slatcher is a psychologist who is the current Gail M. Williamson Distinguished Professor in the Behavior and Brain Sciences area of the Department of Psychology at the University of Georgia. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, he talks about the power of self-disclosure in relationships, and the other factors which draw people closer to each other.
820: Doing the next right thing - a list
December 14, 2023 20:13 - 1 hour - 55.7 MBThere’s doom and gloom in the ether, and many people aren't feeling too great about the world. What to do? Bart thinks the best move is to swing to the stoics, with a sense of separating what we can control versus what we can’t. Simply 'doing the next right thing'. Some things we can control: our next moves, our vote, our transactions, the ways we communicate, the protections we give our children, and what we pay attention to. To the point of what we pay attention to, Bart has a list of r...
819: _______giving!
November 20, 2023 22:37 - 47 minutes - 54.4 MBThanksgiving is here in the United States, set aside for the emotion of gratitude. We wonder what other emotions would be worth setting aside some time to express? Mentioned in the episode: this video and this 'emotion wheel.'
818: 'My truth' v 'The truth'
October 31, 2023 21:01 - 53 minutes - 61.2 MBA 'Q&R' episode where a listener question about truth leads to morality via Dan Dennett.
817: We of Little Faith, with Kate Cohen
October 11, 2023 16:33 - 1 hour - 81.2 MBKate Cohen is a contributing columnist at The Washington Post whose new book, We of Little Faith: Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe (And Maybe You Should Too), is of obvious interest to us at Humanize Me. Kate's book can be found on Amazon and wherever else books are sold.
816: A conversation across the faith divide, with Philip Yancey
September 06, 2023 15:40 - 1 hour - 57.5 MBBart talks with prominent evangelical Christian author Philip Yancey, whose books have been instrumental in supporting the faith of many Christians and whose recent memoir, Where the Light Fell, led to this conversation. In it, the two talk about their upbringings, their faith journey and Bart's deconstruction of faith, their values and more.
815: Revisiting anti-natalism... should people have children?
August 28, 2023 20:02 - 52 minutes - 48.1 MBIs it right, or not, to have biological children? The last time Bart addressed this issue in the podcast (Episode 514), it generated lots of passionate replies, including one listener in particular whose angry email we read aloud in this episode. Since we didn't feel we did the subject justice last time, or the people for whom it's an important question, we're revisiting it, having received some newer emails seeking clarification on whether Bart thinks humanists should be having biological c...
814: The Practice of Belonging, with Lisa Kentgen
August 08, 2023 19:10 - 1 hour - 104 MBBack from a summer vacation and into a wide-ranging conversation with Lisa Kentgen, a psychologist who's written a book called The Practice of Belonging: Six Lessons from Vibrant Communities to Combat Loneliness, Foster Diversity, and Cultivate Caring Relationships.
813: Criminal justice reform, with Robert Rooks
July 03, 2023 10:34 - 1 hour - 84.6 MBRobert Rooks is the CEO of REFORM Alliance, a criminal justice organization focused on transforming probation and parole systems. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, he talks about seeing the hardships in his community growing up, and how he became inspired to start to work on systemic change. In the process, Robert lays out some solid, practical things that listeners can do to help.
812: Worship the creator, not the created?
June 18, 2023 10:32 - 42 minutes - 38.8 MBA listener asks: "Hi Bart, I just want to encourage you by communicating how much your podcast has helped me and is sustaining me in my deconversion journey. In your conversation earlier this month with Ursula Goodenough, you talked about a reverence and awe for the natural world, and I couldn’t help but think of a bible verse admonishing Christians to worship the Creator, rather than the created. I could see my Christian friends using that verse to tell we humanists that we’re guilty of wor...
811: Religious naturalism, with Ursula Goodenough
June 05, 2023 10:18 - 1 hour - 61.4 MBThey say you should never meet your heroes, but this conversation with Ursula Goodenough proves definitively that it isn't always true! Bart first read Ursula's book, The Sacred Depths of Nature, almost immediately after deconverting from Christianity many years ago. It was a massive influence on his thinking, providing a scientific basis for a rational devotion to life, and forming the narrative around which he based his version of secular humanism. A new edition of the book has just been r...
810: The implications of AI for humanists
May 15, 2023 15:50 - 50 minutes - 46.4 MBIt was only a matter of time before we got drawn into the burgeoning conversation about recent advances in artificial intelligence. A listener called Steve asks: "What do you think are the implications of AI for those of us devoted to the human experience?" Although he doesn't have a clear answer, and admits a catastrophist's bias, Bart shares some initial thoughts in response and argues that, even if the rise of AI is a very bad thing for the world, it can nevertheless reaffirm our existing...
809: Morality for the rest of us, with Todd May
May 01, 2023 10:22 - 1 hour - 75.4 MBYou’re probably never going to be a saint. Even so, let’s face it: you could be a better person. We all could. Todd May is a philosopher whose work brings high-minded philosophical concepts - like how to live a decent life - down to earth in attainable, realistic ways. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, Todd talks about aspiring to be decent, moral gracefulness, reasons for morality, intentions, honesty and truthfulness, happiness versus flourishing, altruism, the concept of evil, 'norm...
808: Consciousness and liberal Christian friends
April 17, 2023 09:44 - 33 minutes - 30.4 MBTwo questions are posed to Bart, the first of which he declines to answer! Iain McGilchrist is one of several prominent thinkers who seem to suggest that consciousness is a fundamental of the universe, and that reality may not be entirely physical in nature. What does Bart think of these ideas? The second involves a listener whose liberal Christian friend can't understand her atheism. How can she articulate her disinterest to her friend?
807: Strange Customs, with Sasha Sagan
April 04, 2023 20:37 - 1 hour - 56.9 MBSasha Sagan is an author and now a podcaster who is intensely curious about the rituals, traditions, norms and practices which help define communities of people. When we had her on the podcast in 2020, it was because Sasha had released a book on the subject, For Small Creatures Such As We. The recent launch of her podcast, Strange Customs, inspired us to reach back out and ask her how rituals might find their place in today's world.
806: How surprised would you be by an afterlife?
March 23, 2023 14:04 - 32 minutes - 30.1 MBAfter Bart's deconversion from Christianity, he has been a 'naturalist', lacking belief in any of the proposed deities and supernatural ideas. But how satisfied is he that he's right about this? How surprised would he be to suddenly emerge into an afterlife of some kind? Bart and producer John discuss.
805: How God becomes real, with TM Luhrmann
March 15, 2023 22:11 - 1 hour - 80.1 MBWe've recently been wondering about the movement in Kentucky that has become known as the 'Asbury revival', and the mass religious experiences that have been reported there in the last couple of months. We could think of nobody better to help us think about it than TM Luhrmann, a highly esteemed psychological anthropologist currently based at Stanford University. Tanya is known partly for her study of religious groups, including evangelical and charismatic Christians. In this conversation wi...
804: How to think about Effective Altruism
February 20, 2023 17:16 - 42 minutes - 49 MB“Hey Bart, I came across an article on Vox talking about the movement known as Effective Altruism, and the fall of one of its star advocates, cryptocurrency exchange owner Sam Bankman-Fried. The guy had lost at least a billion dollars of his clients’ money after he secretly transferred it to a hedge fund he owned, he’s now been arrested for it. But what’s confusing is that his stated goal in life was to do good: he said wanted to make a lot of money in finance so he could give most of it awa...
803: How the Bible shapes society, with Bart Ehrman
February 06, 2023 15:15 - 1 hour - 133 MBWe're joined by leading bible scholar Bart Ehrman, who has written many New York Times best-selling books on the Bible and related topics. This conversation is, in Ehrman's own summation, a blend of the intellect and the heart, touching on many things including belief and disbelief, the way people misinterpret Scripture, the message of Jesus compared to that of Paul or the book of Revelation, how to relate to people who throw bible verses around, and many other things. Stay tuned at the end ...
802: Bart is sick, but here's a hopeful thought
January 19, 2023 19:41 - 7 minutes - 8.06 MBIn lieu of a full episode this time, here's a short, hopeful thought from a sick-sounding Bart Campolo.
801: The ingredients of a good media diet, with Vanessa Otero
January 02, 2023 11:36 - 1 hour - 84.1 MBAwash in a sea of information and misinformation, most of us don't know how to navigate today's media landscape, especially when it comes to news. How do we know what sources we can trust? And as we enter a new year, if we approached it like a diet, what are the best and healthiest ingredients and recipes? Our guest Vanessa Otero has thought about this more than most people. A former lawyer, she invented the Ad Fontes Media Chart, which places just about every news outlet you know (and many...
Bonus Episode 6: Here's to 2023!
December 26, 2022 10:00 - 58 minutes - 67.1 MBEvery month we release a bonus episode to supporters of the podcast on Patreon. These episodes are more personal and relaxed, with 'meta' reflections on recent guests and listener feedback, and fresh installments in the saga of Bart's ongoing effort to engineer a replicable church-like community for... uh... well, for people like Bart! This month, as a holiday gift to all Humanize Me listeners, we're sharing that Patreon-exclusive episode in the main podcast feed. Join us as we reflect on 2...
720: I wasn't with my grandfather at the end
December 16, 2022 11:05 - 32 minutes - 37.8 MBBart and John respond to a question from a listener who, despite knowing her grandfather was going to die, missed his final moments and feels deep regret about it. Bart suggests she look at it as a gift from her grandfather which could serve her well for a lifetime: and a valuable reminder to all of us about the virtue of being present.
719: The re-conversion of The Voice winner Josh Kaufman
December 02, 2022 09:28 - 1 hour - 89.4 MBJosh Kaufman won NBC’s The Voice in 2014 after wowing the talent show’s judges and audience with his soulful vocals and charisma. After getting an email from him recently, Bart invited Josh on the podcast to ask about his story of deconversion from Christianity in college and subsequent re-conversion in recent years, and wonders what it’s like to step back into a worldview he had rejected.
718: How do I deal with difficult holiday conversations?
November 18, 2022 10:30 - 47 minutes - 53.9 MBBart answers a question from a listener who is nervous going into a fraught holiday gathering. In the process we talk about some tools that may be prepared for use beforehand.
406: Pro-semitism, with the hosts of Unorthodox
November 11, 2022 10:00 - 49 minutes - 56.9 MBAfter a recent rise in talk of antisemitism, we couldn't help but think about this classic episode of Humanize Me featuring the hosts of the Unorthodox podcast, Mark Oppenheimer, Stephanie Butnick and Liel Leibovitz. They're some of our favorite people, and it's a fun conversation about Jewishness in America, Jewish culture, and how to be a good gentile. Featuring a new intro by Bart.
717: My Big Fat Recovery, with Molly Robbins
November 04, 2022 16:01 - 1 hour - 82 MBOur bodies are tied up with so much - beauty standards, phobias, obsessions and stigmas - and we think there are more and less humanizing ways to talk and think about them. Molly Robbins was the perfect guest to help us; she's the host of the My Big Fat Recovery podcast, and has lots of helpful things to say about the experience of having a big body in a diet-obsessed culture. Bart asks Molly about the principles of 'intuitive eating' and other topics.
716: My bad habits while alone make me feel bad about myself!
October 21, 2022 09:35 - 32 minutes - 36.7 MBBart answers a question from a listener whose habits while living alone make her feel bad about herself. Bart thinks he may have some solid humanist advice as a first step.
715: A listener's abortion story
October 07, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 105 MBCian is a listener of Humanize Me. He and his wife Krista got in touch to talk about the very tangible and personal way the U.S. Supreme Court’s strike-down of Roe v Wade hit them after they ended a pregnancy due to fetal abnormality. Bart decided to invite them to tell their story on the podcast and in the process, Krista and Cian relate in a warm, compelling way the complex reality of the issue in a real couple's lives.
714: Five questions and a tree
September 16, 2022 10:00 - 48 minutes - 55.9 MBWhat’s wrong with Rotary? Does religion comfort people in hard times? Is it wrong to want my wife to stop pleasuring herself? How do you find a good media diet? Should I support my friend as she explores religion? Bart and John take not 1 but 5 listener questions, and share thoughts on each.
713: Childish Things, with Dave Warnock
September 09, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 70.4 MBBart welcomes back Dave Warnock, who had a memorable first appearance in 2019 (Episode 419). They talk about his recently released memoir, his deconversion from Christianity and later diagnosis of ALS, relationships with family after deconverting, navigating the end of life, and avoiding the word 'just'.
712: Thoughtful meandering with William Deresiewicz
September 02, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 77.2 MBBart enjoys a wide-ranging conversation with Bill Deresiewicz that touches on solitude, moral goodness, the value of the arts, the interplay of power, rituals and practices, fundamentalisms and friendship. Bill is a world-class literary critic and a former professor of English at Yale University whose latest book of essays - The End of Solitude - is available now.
711: How to create meaning this weekend
August 19, 2022 10:00 - 41 minutes - 47.5 MBFine, a listener says, you've sold me on the concept that life can be meaningful even if there isn't a grand design involved. But how do we actually do it? Bart and John discuss.
710: What can play teach us about our fellow humans?
August 05, 2022 10:00 - 41 minutes - 48 MBGame designer Logan Dean talks with Bart about the nature of play, storytelling, community, competitiveness and how playing games can help us understand others.
421: 'Leaving the Witness', with Amber Scorah
July 30, 2022 19:05 - 1 hour - 109 MBA classic episode! Amber Scorah was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. She tells the story of her 'deconversion' in her book, 'Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life'. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, Amber talks about what it was like to believe fully, what it's like to disbelieve now, how her relationships were affected, the death of her young son Karl on his first day in childcare, her views on life now, and much more.
709: Should I marry my Christian girlfriend?
July 15, 2022 10:00 - 47 minutes - 54 MBBart and John respond to a question from a listener who worries that, having started a journey out of his faith, he is now becoming incompatible with his Christian girlfriend. Bart thinks their difference in worldview is a reason for lots of caution and reflection, while John wishes romance could rule the day. Along the way, they land on some ancient advice: ‘Know thyself!’
708: Disentangling from purity culture
July 01, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 73 MBThe evangelical culture of sexual purity has left many who grew up in it hurt and sometimes even traumatized. In this episode, Bart and our guest, counselor Jenny McGrath, discuss purity culture, dynamics between evangelical men and women, power structures of race and gender, sex before marriage, the mechanics of desire, and much more. You can discover more about Jenny here: indwellmovement.com
707: How can I judge someone's character?
June 17, 2022 10:00 - 51 minutes - 58.5 MBJohn and Bart are back in the studio together on this week’s episode to discuss the nature of character and how to evaluate the character of others.
706: Bart gets his tarot read by a witch
June 03, 2022 10:00 - 1 hour - 79.7 MBBart and chaos witch Vanessa Walilko discuss her playful approach to belief, and to helping others through witchcraft. Bart, a witchcraft sceptic, even gets his tarot read! Find out more about Vanessa and her work at https://linktr.ee/kalibutterfly
705: A listener who has less tolerance for social interaction now
May 13, 2022 19:50 - 37 minutes - 42.4 MBBart responds to a question from a listener who says they have less tolerance for social interaction since society 'opened back up' after the pandemic lockdowns.
704: On open relationships
April 15, 2022 20:48 - 48 minutes - 55.9 MBBart muses an experience he's heard recently: a former Christian who, in the process of re-evaluating their lives, begins to consider opening their relationship. Is it a good idea? Bart has seen it work, but has lots of words of caution.
703: Should I let news about the war stress me out?
March 25, 2022 20:53 - 37 minutes - 43.4 MBAfter a podcast hiatus, Bart and John attempt to answer a question from a listener about being stressed out about the war in Ukraine. They don't want to just avoid the news, because that doesn't feel healthy, but are seeking a good balance of being informed and enjoying their life.
702: Reflecting on the state of the evangelical movement
January 20, 2022 19:25 - 30 minutes - 34.5 MBBart reflects on the state of the evangelical movement he was once a part of, particularly by taking a moment to see it through his father Tony's lens. Mentioned in the episode: Leaving My Father's Faith, the documentary by John Wright, now available to watch in its entirety on YouTube.
701: Talking to Crazy, with Dr. Mark Goulston
January 11, 2022 20:25 - 1 hour - 111 MBHow should we deal with irrational or difficult people? And what are some good strategies for establishing healthy boundaries with such people in our lives? As a very pro-social podcast, we realized this may be our weakness after we talked to Chrissy Stroop in Episode 618. Chrissy, a trans woman, told us she did not feel it her responsibility to keep toxic or unsupportive people in her life, and Bart pushed back because he feels building bridges across such divides is so important. Where sho...
620: Some people are hard to feel empathy for
December 28, 2021 00:36 - 46 minutes - 52.7 MBLet's be honest: some people just don't inspire our empathy! In this last episode of 2021, Bart responds to a post on the Humanize Me Facebook Group, in which a woman feels unempathetic about consequences suffered by her sister due to the sister's own bad decisions. She feels like a bad person, she says, but should she? And how should we feel about our own lack of empathy in such situations?
619: We're creating meaning as we speak!
December 07, 2021 00:07 - 40 minutes - 45.8 MBBart with a solo episode on how we create meaning in our lives, and get access to meaning as we live in connection to the universe.
618: Should we form friendships with people who don't share our values? with Chrissy Stroop
November 02, 2021 21:00 - 1 hour - 92.2 MBChrissy Stroop is a writer and scholar who, despite being an 'exvangelical', remains interested in, and critical of, evangelical culture. When she recently mentioned Bart Campolo in an article, we reached out to ask her if she wanted to have a conversation about how evangelicals think and talk about those who leave the faith. But the conversation took a different turn, becoming a friendly disagreement over whether or not we should try to form friendships with people who don't share our core ...
617: Re-evaluating time in Christian urban ministry
October 18, 2021 23:58 - 41 minutes - 47.9 MBBart responds to a question from a listener who wants to know why he doesn't talk more about his time as a Christian minister in poor urban neighborhoods, and what his experiences make him think about the possibility of future change.
616: Using emotional intelligence like a hostage negotiator, with Derek Gaunt
September 23, 2021 20:44 - 1 hour - 80.7 MBDerek Gaunt in an educator and author with 20 years of experience as a hostage negotiator for law enforcement agencies in the Washington DC metro area. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, Derek talks about 'tactical empathy', emotional intelligence, controlling how someone feels about you, building trust, truly listening to someone's story, understanding motivation, looking for hidden messages and meaning, how to respect the person even if you don't respect their decisions or actions, an...