How To Make Love™
111 episodes - English - Latest episode: 5 months ago - ★★★★★ - 135 ratingsUnconventional recipes for love and liberation. In a world filled with hate, injustice, and despair, our sense of shared humanity depends on learning to MAKE radical, revolutionary, justice-centered love. Not find it, not fall into it. But intentionally create and wield it. Centering the voices of historically and culturally marginalized people, How To Make Love™ will provoke and challenge you to create your own recipe for and practice of making more love — in your life, and in the world. And ask you to include justice as a critical ingredient. New episodes monthly.
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Episodes
Minisode: Winter Love
November 30, 2023 08:30 - 5 minutes - 2.93 MBThe winter can pose unique challenges and opportunities to our practice of making love, courage, justice, and liberation. Tune in for a couple of things to remember and consider as you move through the world this winter. Want to give a little love back to How To Make Love? Become a patreon of the podcast.
101: The Feelings of Freedom
October 30, 2023 07:30 - 12 minutes - 5.82 MBThere's the idea of freedom and the somatics of freedom. Today's episode tackles how and why we should learn to cultivate the sensations of freedom in our bodies. Welcome. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website, too)! Now you can download written transcripts, share them, copy/paste those reflection questions, or read along while you listen. Check out this episode's transcript here. Want to give a little love back to How T...
100: Welcome to My/Your Crisis
September 30, 2023 07:30 - 15 minutes - 8.22 MBWho's ready for a mid-life crisis?! Me! You? Come on in for a lovingly honest and personal conversation about those feelings of falling apart –– midlife, or any other time. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website, too)! Now you can download written transcripts, share them, copy/paste those reflection questions, or read along while you listen. Check out this episode's transcript here. Want to give a little love back to How...
99: UNcontrol
August 31, 2023 07:29 - 10 minutes - 4.95 MBEthic. Process. Aspiration. Practice. Come learn what else UNcontrol is and means and why we should engage it in the work of personal and collective freedom. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website, too)! Now you can download written transcripts, share them, copy/paste those reflection questions, or read along while you listen. Check out this episode's transcript here. Want to give a little love back to How To Make Love? B...
98: "Relationships are what have rescued me." (ft. Alli Myatt)
July 31, 2023 07:30 - 41 minutes - 19.3 MBBelonging. Repair. Lines of difference. Today, guest Alli Myatt and I discuss radical relationships — especially at work. What makes them hard, what makes them complex, and what makes them beautiful. AND the things we need to unlearn so we can be in radical relationship with one another. Plus, a 🔥🔥🔥 book/resource list you don't want to miss out on here. New Feature Alert: Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website. Now you can download written transcripts, share them, c...
97: How To Be A Good Loser
May 31, 2023 07:30 - 15 minutes - 7.31 MBBecoming a bad winner and a good loser is ... a little counterintuitive, to say the least. Learn how and why in this episode. And what all of that has to do with our collective and personal practice of liberation. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website, too)! Now you can download written transcripts, share them, copy/paste those reflection questions, or read along while you listen. Check out this episode's transcript here....
96: UNperforming
April 28, 2023 07:30 - 11 minutes - 5.52 MBWe all perform. We've all been socialized to perform. And: none of us are truly free in a performance. Today's episode will take you into the what, why, how of performance and assimilation, and leave you with reflection questions for your healing and UNperforming. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website, too)! Now you can download written transcripts, share them, copy/paste those reflection questions, or read along while you...
Minisode Announcement: UNschool
April 10, 2023 07:30 - 2 minutes - 1.17 MBThe UNschool is now in session. Applications open today, April 10th, and will close April 19th at midnight. The summer semester on UNperforming begins May 1st and ends July 28th. Learn more here.
95: "I didn't understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self."
March 31, 2023 07:30 - 40 minutes - 18.8 MBThe path of healing is paved in UNlearning. In today's episode, we'll hear examples of what there may be to UNlearn and how that UNlearning has played out in our guest's life. Featuring the incredible storyteller and doula Chrystal Toop, we take a journey survivalism, enoughness, wholeness, and healing. All through the lens of what there is for each of us – for all of us – to UNlearn. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website,...
95: "I didn't understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self." (ft. Chrystal Toop)
March 31, 2023 07:30 - 40 minutes - 18.8 MBThe path of healing is paved in UNlearning. In today's episode, we'll hear examples of what there may be to UNlearn and how that UNlearning has played out in our guest's life. Featuring the incredible storyteller and doula Chrystal Toop, we take a journey survivalism, enoughness, wholeness, and healing. All through the lens of what there is for each of us – for all of us – to UNlearn. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website,...
94: "You can’t create without breaking something." (ft. Oceana Sawyer)
February 28, 2023 08:30 - 32 minutes - 15.3 MBThere is bracing. And there is breaking. In today’s episode, learn why the latter is so essential to healing, to liberation, and to creation. Featuring the amazing liminalist Oceana Sawyer, this is a conversation about what we gain when we “lose” (control, fear, conditioning…), and what can be received only when we truly open. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website, too)! Now you can download written transcripts, share them...
93: How To Think
January 31, 2023 08:30 - 11 minutes - 5.66 MBWhat's the thing that: a) humans do constantly, b) shapes our life in resounding ways, and c) we're never taught how to do? –– think. Our thoughts can be assets or liabilities in our life, and laura shares 5 tips in this episode to help all of us think a little better. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website (ps: we have a new website, too)! Now you can download written transcripts, share them, copy/paste those reflection questions, or read along whil...
92: 5 Essential Skills for Practicing Justice
November 30, 2022 08:30 - 13 minutes - 6.57 MBWhat––for you––is the single most essential skill or tool right now in your practice of justice?––love?––courage? That's the question the podcast will invite a whole new suit of guests to share and explore in the coming new year. laura kicks us off with her own reflections to the question, and her answers may surprise you. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcripts to our website! Now you can download written transcripts, share them, copy/paste those reflection questio...
91: Consent As A Way of Being
October 31, 2022 07:30 - 20 minutes - 9.69 MBWhen we learn to think of consent as a way of being and a practice in ALL domains of our life, we expand the work of justice, liberation, and love. Join laura for a discussion about why we should think about embodying consent across all our life, how to deepen our practice of consent when making requests of others, and how to deepen our embodiment of consent when saying yes/no/maybe. We'll also talk about the direct link between consent and anti-oppression/anti-racism. And of course, there's...
90: Scarcity
September 29, 2022 07:30 - 22 minutes - 10.5 MBSometimes called 'scarcity thinking,' laura breaks down and reframes the notion of scarcity – what is is, where it comes from, and how to heal it. Tune in for concrete suggestions, reflection questions, and tools for healing scarcity all through a lens of equity. While this episode is designed for individuals, it's also applicaple to teams and organizations struggling with scarcity orientation. New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcipts to our website! Now you can downl...
89: How To Make (Dis) Ease
August 30, 2022 07:30 - 15 minutes - 7.53 MBJoin laura for a conversation about how we make ease and how we erode ease in our personal relationships. Plus, we'll look at some common culprits (personal responsibility, thoughts, and feelings) that can create generate an unhealthy sense of urgency and chip away at ease. That and much more! New Feature Alert! Transcripts! We've added episode transcipts to our website! Now you can download written transcipts, share them, copy/paste those reflection questions, or read along while you lis...
88: The Shadow Side of Purpose
July 28, 2022 07:30 - 13 minutes - 6.37 MBPurpose can be a guiding light. It can also be a dark shadow. But we rarely talk about the latter. We explore that conversation in this episode.
87: Freedom From The Inside-Out
June 30, 2022 07:30 - 13 minutes - 6.3 MBWe can value freedom. We can treat it as an outcome. Or. And: we can train in making it our way of BEing. Resources from the podcast: Read My Grandmother's Hands, by Resma Menakem. Send laura a question from the episode. Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ Link to become a patreon.
86: How To Hold Your Bits Responsibly
May 05, 2022 07:30 - 14 minutes - 6.8 MBNo part of you is bad. And also: some of your bits likely create harm in the world. Find out why, how, and what to do about it. Send laura a question from the episode. Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ Link to become a patreon.
85: How To Judge Other People
April 19, 2022 07:34 - 12 minutes - 5.97 MB😮 Since we all judge other people, let's be sure we understand the whats, whys, and hows of it. Especially the hows that connect us to oppressive ways of being in the world so that we can operate – and judge – with more critical consciousness, more compassion, and less harm. Episode Resources: Send laura a question from the episode. Link to become a patreon. Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️
84: How To Be Selfish
March 30, 2022 07:30 - 17 minutes - 8.12 MBMost of us consider selfishness a bad thing...but what if that's an oppressive lie? Episode Resources: Link to become a patreon! Reflection Questions: How do/have you used the word selfish against other people? How has the word selfish been used against you? How do/have you used the word selfish against yourself? How do you want to (re)define selfish? Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️
Listener Question Minisode: feeling vs. inflaming emotions
March 16, 2022 07:30 - 5 minutes - 2.68 MBlaura tackles a listener question from episode 82: "How can you personally tell the difference between feeling an emotion and inflaming an emotion?" Do you have questions from any of the episodes? Let laura know here: https://www.speakpipe.com/laurabrewer
83: Consensual Expectations
February 28, 2022 08:30 - 22 minutes - 10.4 MBHigh expectations can be helpful -- and they can create harm. For ourselves, and for others. How do we know the difference? What can be done to mitigate the harm? All in today's episode. Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove Access the show notes page here: www.laurabrewer.love/episode83
82: How To Feel Like Sh*t
February 08, 2022 08:30 - 18 minutes - 8.7 MBLet's talk about the importance of feeling emotional pain and "negative" emotion in both our lives and in the work of justice. In this episode, you'll learn ways to feel sh*tty -- better. Access the show notes page here: www.laurabrewer.love/episode82 Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove If you'd like to work with laura 1:1 to build a radical p...
81: How To Be Alive
January 18, 2022 08:30 - 15 minutes - 7.16 MBJoin host laura as we dig into the whats, whys, and hows of aliveness. What prevents us from being and feeling alive? What helps us be and feel alive? Access the show notes page here: www.laurabrewer.love/episode81 Questions from the episode for reflection: What does aliveness mean to you? What do you need to be more alive in and for your own life? What would you like the point of your life to be -- today? Where are you distracted from being alive right now? What about ...
80: BEing Gentle
January 11, 2022 08:30 - 14 minutes - 6.67 MBAccess the show notes page here: www.laurabrewer.love/episode80 Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove If you'd like to work with Laura 1:1 to build a radical practice of gentleness, you can do that here.
thank you ❤️
December 21, 2021 08:30 - 1 minute - 789 KBThank you times a million. I'll see you for episode 80 in the new year. love. laura
79: Your Own Adversary
November 30, 2021 08:30 - 12 minutes - 5.73 MBDo you have your own back? Would you like to? If you'd like to explore working with laura to build a radical practice of self compassion, you can do that here. You can find the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode79 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
78: Impact > Intensity
November 16, 2021 08:30 - 12 minutes - 5.83 MBWe've all heard of 'intent vs. impact' -- but how are 'intensity' and 'impact' related? And does our intensity produce the impact we mean to have? If you'd like to explore working with laura to change your life's impact or your life's intensity, you can do that here. You can find the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode78 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ htt...
77: Listener Love Pick -- "Pleasure is at the heart of understanding how to get free." (ft. adrienne maree brown)
October 26, 2021 07:30 - 51 minutes - 23.4 MBIt's another listener love pick!--a listener-selected replay episode while we take a short October hiatus. Join guest adrienne maree brown for a conversation about learning to make pleasure, science fiction, and freedom. And how they're all tied together. adrienne is a writer, social justice facilitator, pleasure activist, healer and doula living in North Carolina. She is also the cohost of the How to Survive the End of the World podcast. Find links to all of the resources from toda...
76: Listener Love Pick -- "Do you love this person enough to be yourself & also change yourself?" (ft. Yolonda & Will Jones)
October 19, 2021 07:30 - 56 minutes - 26 MBIt's the first ever listening love pick!--a listener selected replay episode while we take a short October hiatus. Join former guest Yolonda Coles Jones and her partner Will Jones for a frank discussion about making partnership, freedom, intimacy, conscious parenting, and raising free children. Will and Yolonda are both entrepreneurs, home-based educators, and the curators of The Real Life Joneses. Welcome to a conversation about making love and justice through practicing intimacy and f...
75: Well-Resourced vs. Not Depleted
September 30, 2021 07:30 - 12 minutes - 5.76 MBIn today's episode, we will: Look at the inherent challenges and limitations with focusing on being not depleted; Understand why a focus on being well-resourced is more liberatory; Hear some real-talk: you are the only real resource you ever truly have. Learn juicier, more empowered, more creative questions to ask yourself to create well-being. If you'd like to explore working with laura to create a deep, permanent sense of being well-resourced, you can do that here. You c...
74: How To Courage
September 16, 2021 07:30 - 16 minutes - 7.63 MBIn today's episode, we will: Define courage -- unconventionally. And as a verb. Identify opportunities and obstacles to practicing courage. Hear a vulnerable example of struggling to courage and then enacting courage in the midst of fear. Be invited to a practice-challenge: 100 days of courage. If you'd like to learn more about laura's 100 days of courage program, you can do that here. You can find more info on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode74 Love How ...
73: How To Feel Overwhelmed
August 26, 2021 07:30 - 14 minutes - 6.82 MBMust of us don't feel overwhelm, we think overwhelm. Learn the difference in today's episode, and why it matters. You can find more info on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode73 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
72: Love On Your Terms
August 17, 2021 07:30 - 9 minutes - 4.44 MBJoin laura for a discussion about the importance of defining and making love for yourself. You can find more info on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode72 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
71: Imposter Syndrome
July 29, 2021 07:30 - 15 minutes - 7.29 MBJoin laura for a discussion about what imposter syndrome is, how it uses and connects to oppression, and four strategies to heal it. You can find more info on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode71 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
70: Freedom To Play (ft. Tara Sumrall)
July 13, 2021 07:30 - 36 minutes - 16.6 MBWelcome to a coaching conversation, where laura coaches Tara around gender expression and identity. What starts there becomes a brave conversation about the freedom to play, and permission to express. The reflection questions at the end of the episode are: What does it look like to be both honest & uncertain in relationships/communication with others? When was the last time you really explored your gender identity and it’s conscious expression? What conditions would you need to do...
69: How To Take Up Space (Without Causing Harm)
June 29, 2021 07:30 - 11 minutes - 5.19 MBJoin host laura brewer for a discussion about what we mean by 'taking up space,' why that's historically harmful, and 5 concrete whys/hows on learning to take space as a practice of liberation and wholeness. You can find more info on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode69 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
68: Wholeness
June 17, 2021 07:30 - 13 minutes - 6.47 MBJoin host laura brewer for an exploration of wholeness as a noun and a verb. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode68 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
67: Decolonizing Desire
May 31, 2021 07:30 - 12 minutes - 5.68 MBJoin host laura brewer as she explains how learning to hear and validate our desire can be a practice of love and justice. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode67 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
66: Life-Changing Lessons
May 11, 2021 07:30 - 13 minutes - 6.42 MBJoin host laura brewer as she shares 5 personal lessons that changed her life. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/episode66 Love How To Make Love? You can return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
65: Liberatory Consciousness (ft. Tanya Williams & Bari Katz)
April 29, 2021 07:30 - 46 minutes - 21.2 MBJoin guests Tanya Williams and Bari Katz for a discussion about making love and justice with and through a liberatory consciousness. Steeped in the work of Dr. Barbara Love, Bari Katz and Tanya Williams have developed a relationship over the years deeply rooted in their shared beliefs and values around social justice and liberation. Find links to all of the resources from today's conversation at: https://www.laurabrewer.love/episode65 Love How To Make Love? You can give a little ...
How To Die: Final Episode
April 20, 2021 07:30 - 8 minutes - 3.8 MBJoin end-of-life doula, coach, and host laura brewer for an exploration of death, love, and justice. Welcome to a special series and set of critical dialogues about how we can all live -- and die -- more courageously. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/miniseries6 Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
How To Die: Episode 5 (ft. Dr. BJ Miller)
March 16, 2021 07:30 - 47 minutes - 21.8 MBJoin guest Dr. BJ Miller for a transformative conversation about grief. What it is, how it feels, the different shapes it takes, how to work with it, learn from it, and deepen our experience of life and love as a result. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/miniseries5 Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️
How To Die: Episode 4 (ft. Nora Menkin & Anna Swenson)
March 02, 2021 08:30 - 51 minutes - 23.7 MBTwo minisodes in one! Join guests Nora Menkin & Anna Swenson for two in-depth conversations about death care: legal considerations, body disposition options, and agency at the end of life. We'll also dig into laura's current choice for her own body disposition: natural organic reduction with Recompose. There is lots of info in this episode and on the show notes page below. Quick links to the three orgnanizations featured are: Recompose; The Co-Op Funeral Home; and the People's Memorial...
How To Die: Episode 3 (ft. Daisy Sharrock)
February 16, 2021 08:30 - 30 minutes - 14 MBJoin guest Daisy Sharrock for a deeply personal, moving story about loss. And intimacy. This is a conversation about creating intimacy with death, and the healing and love that can subsequently be made. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/miniseries3 Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️
How To Die: Episode 2 (ft. Iana Sundari Malcolm)
February 04, 2021 08:30 - 43 minutes - 19.9 MBJoin guest Iana Sundari for a powerful conversation about death and justice. Iana is a birth and death doula, and the Director of BIPOC Well-Being for The Dinner Party. Welcome to a special series and set of critical dialogues about how we can all live -- and die -- more courageously. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/miniseries2 Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside s...
How To Die: Special Series
January 20, 2021 10:30 - 16 minutes - 7.59 MBJoin end-of-life doula, coach, and host laura brewer for an exploration of death, love, and justice. Welcome to a special series and set of critical dialogues about how we can all live -- and die -- more courageously. You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laurabrewer.love/miniseries Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howtomakelove
58: Love & The Patriarchy
November 30, 2020 10:30 - 14 minutes - 7.09 MBJoin host laura brewer for an exploration of how our blueprints for how we love can get all twisted up in patriarchy and paternalism, without our even realizing it. In this episode you'll hear: A big announcement about a new mini-series on death and loss that will be airing on How to Make Love. A "cosmo" quiz to help you self-evaluate the extent to which you might be loving yourself or others in ways that reproduce patriarchy. A distinction between taking responsibility for and taking c...
57: “For me it was like a calling…I learned to live in truth in myself.” (ft. Randy Quarterman & Sarah Eisner)
November 27, 2020 10:30 - 37 minutes - 17.4 MBJoin guests Randy Quarterman and Sarah Eisner to talk about ancestral healing, redress, and reparations to the descendants of American slavery. Randy and Sarah are the founders of The Reparations Project. Find links to all of the resources from today's conversation at: https://www.laurabrewer.love/episode57 Love How To Make Love? You can give a little love back by writing a review on iTunes or joining our incredible inside supporters on Patreon. ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/howto...