How to Be a Girl

Episode XXXIII: How We Are Now

It's been over two years. I wanted to let you know how we are doing. Thank you for your patience. (Spoiler: My daughter is still amazing.) MUSIC CREDITS: Tides (instrumental) by Benjamin Mullins (Courtesy of Audiosocket) Lost in the Dark (instrumental) by Forest Sun (Courtesy of Audiosocket)

Episode XXXII: The Medical Stuff

For years, people have asked me what I would do when my daughter hit puberty. Was I going to let her do... the "medical stuff?" Well, right after the pandemic struck, so did puberty. And this is what my daughter (and her mother) decided to do.

Episode XXXI: M is for Middle School, Take Two

This episode is different from any of our previous episodes. It’s also a do-over, because the first version of this episode overlooked the fact that my daughter is growing up, fast. She’s almost a teenager, and we both agree that it’s time she took charge. So that’s what she did. (Here’s a little more about how this episode came to be.) Listen to the book! How to Be a Girl on Audible Originals Find us on Twitter: @girlpodcast Support HTBAG on Patreon MUSIC CREDITS: “Edge of th...

Episode XXXI: M is for Middle School

A long-overdue update on the life of my beautiful transgender daughter. She's almost a teenager. She's in middle school. She's still magical. (And middle school girls can still be super mean.) Edited by the incomparable Whitney Henry-Lester. Music credits: “La Meduse Raconte” and “La Meduse Chante” by Wolfram Gruss, licensed by Audiosocket “Edge of the World” (Instrumental) by Dot Dot Dot, licensed by Audiosocket “Renaissance Garden” by Rosalind Richards , licensed by Audiosocket “S...

Episode XXX: Emma at last

I want you to meet my good friend, Emma. When she was a little girl, she was just like my daughter. But no one knew her for 60 years. I'm so glad she's here now.

Episode XXIX: Eleven

I sit down for a talk with my (almost) 11-year-old: Cliques, gossip, fashion, puberty, and how it feels to be a transgender tween. MUSIC CREDIT: “Little Girl” by Jetty Rae (Courtesy of Audiosocket)

Episode XXVIII: The Tell

A new friend at school. A poker lesson. A 10-year-old hatches a plan. MUSIC CREDITS: “Ganef” by Vagabond Opera and “Moonlight Love Affair” by Steve Rice (Courtesy of Audiosocket) “Chill Wave” by Kevin MacLeod “The Reckoning” by Podington Bear Please consider checking out our Support Page. Your help keeps this podcast going!

Episode XXVII: Playdates with Christians

Are the new next-door neighbors going to let their daughters play with mine if they find out she's transgender? To attempt to answer this question, I seek expert advice from a new friend in the Bible Belt. MUSIC CREDITS: “Morning” by Nicole Reynolds, “Shall We Gather at the River” by Pat Holmberg, “Amazing Grace Solo Piano” by Lana Palmer (Courtesy of Audiosocket) "Canoe" by Podington Bear "Amazing Grace," piano and vocals by Miss M. Mack Please consider supporting us on Patreon. It r...

Episode XXVI: Sarah McBride

Need to hear a positive story about politics? I know I do. Here's the inspiring story of Sarah McBride, the young transgender activist who gives me hope (and is my personal pick for the first transgender president). MUSIC CREDITS: "Halflight," “G Piano," “Across the River, and "Triste" by Podington Bear; “Asturias” by Isaac Albeniz (Courtesy of Audiosocket). Please consider supporting us on Patreon. It really helps keep this podcast going!

Episode XXV: To Tell or Not to Tell? (Advice from HTBAG listeners)

In the last episode, I asked my listeners to help me answer this question: Should my daughter tell the kids at her new school that she's transgender? In this episode, you will hear the wisdom that came back to me. My cup runneth over. MUSIC CREDITS: “Den," "Floating in Space," "Surface Tension," and "Threshold" by Podington Bear; "You Are a Memory" by Message to Bears (Courtesy of Audiosocket); and "Leave Them" and "Telling Me So" by St. Paul de Vence. Please consider supporting us. I...

Episode XXIV: Moving & Marrying, Part III - New School

My daughter starts fifth grade at a new school next month.  It's a fresh start, where no one knows that she's transgender.  How do I handle this? How do I advise her?  Should she keep her transgender status to herself or be more open? At the end of this episode, I'll be asking for your advice: What should I do? MUSIC CREDITS: "Sensitive" and "Constellation" by Podington Bear (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0) and "Bloom" by Jahzzar (licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0).

Episode XXIII: Moving & Marrying, Part II - Won't you be my neighbor?

We've moved.  To the suburbs.  We're getting to know the new neighbors, and we're wondering: Will they accept us here?  MUSIC CREDITS:  "Glitter" and "Chauncy" by Podington Bear (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0) and "Bloom" by Jahzzar (licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0).

Episode XXII: Moving & Marrying, Part I - The Prince

Did you know there's a wedding coming up, uniting an Englishman with an American bride?  Listen now for ALL the juicy details on this intercontinental couple's forthcoming nuptials! (And hear what my daughter thinks of her soon-to-be stepdad.) MUSIC CREDITS: "Lord of the Land," "Evening Melodrama," "Master of the Feast," "The Rule," and "Bossa Bossa" by Kevin MacLeod

Episode XXI: Going First

In this episode, my daughter and I get to talk with two of our heroes.  Jazz Jennings is a reality TV star, LGBTQ activist, and arguably the most famous transgender teen in the world.  Her mom Jeanette is as brave as they come. MUSIC CREDITS:  “Springtime,” “Quartrefoil,” and “Blue” by Podington Bear (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0) “Helice” by Monplaisir (licensed under CC0 1.0) “Comedie” by Jahzzar (licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0)

Episode XX: The Betrayal

Of course I knew this was going to happen eventually.  But that didn't make it any easier when it did.  Music credits:  “Chicxuclub” and “Transient” by Podington Bear “Undaunted” by Kevin MacLeod “Dormir rien de plus” by Monplaisir

We're back! Welcome to a new season!

After a pretty lengthy hiatus, we're back!  The first episode of the 2018 season comes out next week.  Here's a little taste of what's to come.   Music credits:  "Lode Runner" and "Sorrento" by Podington Bear.

We Shall Overcome

A little girl, a holiday, big news, and... a miracle!

This mini-episode contains: One VERY excited little girl awaiting Santa, news of the big changes coming to our lives, my plans for the future of this podcast, and... a miracle!  Music credits: Dee Yan-Key,  "Santa on Tour" (licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) Borrtex, "Buying Presents" (licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0)  

When it rains it pours

How can the best of times also be the worst of times? This spring nearly washed me away... but not quite.  M. tries her hand at TV journalism. Music credit: David Mumford, “Singing in the Rain (Instrumental)" (licensed under CC BY 4.0)  

Episode XIX: Red State Mama

I thought I was pretty brave until I met my counterpart from a red state. Music credits: "Telling Me So" and "Spring" (instrumental) by St. Paul de Vence  

A little update from Marlo

This tiny episode is mostly silly, and a little bit serious.  I also have some news.  Plus, cat videos.  (KUOW is hosting a How to Be a Girl listening party in Seattle on February 26! Reserve a seat at http://kuow.org/post/join-us-how-be-girl-listening-party) MUSIC CREDITS: "Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com) "Mama" (instrumental) by St. Paul de Vence (Thank you, Benjamin Doerr!!) 

Episode XVIII: Big Sister

I'm not transgender, but my daughter is. That means she needs someone to model the future who isn't me:  A transgender big sister.  Music credits:  “Dormir Rien de plus” by Monplaisir (public domain) 

Episode XVII: The Window

In 2013, Obama opened a window for transgender people when he made it easier to change the gender on your Social Security record. But with Trump coming into office, it looks like that window is about to close.  I hadn't been in much of a rush to change my 9-year-old transgender daughter's Social Security record, but I sure am now.  MUSIC CREDITS: “Dubakupado” by www.incompetech.com “Homeless California” by Monplaisir (public domain)  “King Thumbscrew The Third” by Doctor Turtle (CC-BY-NC...

Episode XVI: How to Be a (Teen) Girl

It’s still five years off, but I think about it all the time.  What’s it going to be like when my transgender daughter becomes a teenager? Music credits: Andy G Cohen, "Land_Legs" (licensed under CC BY 4.0) David Mumford, "Twinkle Twinkle Instrumental" (licensed under CC BY 4.0) Loch Lomond, "Elephants and Little Girls" (licensed under CC BY 4.0) Kevin Macleod, “J.S. Bach, Prelude in C” (licensed under CC BY 3.0)

Episode XV: Just Maybe

She hasn't got a womb or ovaries but she wants to be a mommy.  How do I tell my young daughter that she won't ever be a biological mother?  Music credits:  "Child Come Home" by Michael Howard (Licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0) "Flagger" by Blue Dot Sessions (Licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0) “That Old Harpoon” by Gillicuddy (Licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0)

A post-election message from my 8-year-old trans daughter

My 8-year-old transgender daughter is not giving up.  She's eating popcorn and singing and telling jokes and she has some advice for you. 

Episode XIV: My Friend Lauren

When I first realized I had a transgender child, Lauren reached out and told me it was going to be OK. Ever since, she's been the one I lean on when I'm terrified. She's the bravest woman I know.  My friend, "Lauren," in 1979.  Music credits:  “George Street Shuffle” and “In Your Arms” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)  “Evenhanded” by Podington Bear “From here to Iceland" by Loch Lomond “I Enjoy Being a Girl,” performed by Christine Jorgensen "Mars Landscape: Moon Set” by Julie Max...

Episode XIII: Play Date

My daughter has lots of friends, and she's big on play dates with other little girls.  But sometimes we need to book a special play date, because sometimes you just need to hang out with somebody who's just like you.   Music Credits: "The Temperature of the Air on the Bow of the Kaleetan” by Chris Zabriskie, “Hélice” by Monplaisir, and “Rainbow Street” by Scott Holmes. Thank you to my new supporters on Patreon.com:  Ann Frossard, Lorna McCarthy, Maricia Scott, Lyle Mattson, Ryann Grove, Je...

Episode XII: How to Be a Dad

When my husband and I split up four years ago, we agreed to share custody of our...."son." Four years later, we have a transgender daughter, and the crazy truth is that I've never really asked him how he feels about this.  So I did.  And this is what he said.  (I asked him a few other questions, too.)   Music credits: “The Father’s Name” by  Gianluca Sgalambro Thank you to my new supporters on Patreon.com:  Chris Wright, David Roswell, Laura Kivlen, Britt Tanner, Robyn Kanner, Nicole Villa...

Short and Silly

This isn't a full episode.  Just a little update on what we've been up to, with some very silly audio of my daughter. (What can I say? It's been a silly summer!)  There's also an important announcement about the future of this podcast and some news on my daughter's love life (and mine too!).  Music credits: "Fudge" by Gillicuddy

Episode XI: Bathroom Bill

I never thought a bathroom bill - the kind they passed in North Carolina - would come to my home state.  But it did.  They're trying to pass one where I live, and this is the story of my fight (so far) against it.  (You can see more photos related to this story on my blog, gendermom.com.) Music credits: "Heartache" by Broke For Free, "Golden" by Little Glass Men, "A void" by johnny_ripper, "Pure Attitude" by Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com), "The Tallest Man in Idaho" by Michael Howard,...

Episode X: School (Part II)

This is a continuation of Episode IX. It tells the rest of the story of what happened when my transgender daughter started second grade at a new school. Music credits: "Light Thought Variation 2," "Thatched Villagers," and "Relaxing Piano Music" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "Moonlight Sonata (Ludwig van Beethoven)" by Dr. Phibes and The Ten Plagues of Egypt,  "Bagatelle (Ludwig van Beethoven)" by Circus Marcus.   THANK YOU to my generous supporters on Patreon.com:  Nyssa, Nicholas...

Episode IX: School (Part I)

This episode has been six months in the making, because that's how long it took for this story to play out. It's the story of my daughter entering second grade at a new school where we knew no one, almost no one knew her secret, and I had no idea how I was going to keep her safe. Music credits: "Blackbird" and "Light Thought Variation 2" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "Chiaroscuro" by Zé Trigueiros, and "Piano Symphony No. 1" by Miss M. Thank you to my generous supporters on Patreon...

Episode VIII: Meeting Laverne

Earlier this year, my daughter got to meet the transgender TV star Laverne Cox. I wrote about it for my blog, and that heart-warming, feel-good post went crazy viral on the internet.  But there's more to the story.  Here it is. My daughter gave her first interview (to Amy Poehler's Smart Girls website): Check it out! Music credits: "Hearts Mend (Prelude)" by Rebecca Foon, "EDM Detection Mode" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "nu pop2" by Plusplus.

Episode VII: THE FACTS (about transgender kids)

When my "son" first started saying that "he" was actually a "she," I went looking for information. I wanted hard numbers. I wanted data. I wanted science to tell me to do. This is what I discovered.

Episode VI: The Interview

This episode is a little different from the others I've made. It's mostly just my daughter talking, answering my questions about what it's like being a transgender six year old.  

Episode V: Looking for Love

She's six years old and transgender.  I'm a single mom.  This is what happens when we both hit the dating scene and compare notes about it. Music credits: "Night Owl" by Broke for Free, "Is This What Mama Meant" by Michaela Anne.

Episode IV: Tom Boy Trans Girl

How girlie do you have to be to secure your spot in the girl club?  And what happens when your own mother questions your girl credentials?  Bonus: The Origins of Acrobat Girl: Music credits:  "Action" and "Eastern" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "Xena: Warrior Princess - Main Title" by Joseph LoDuca.

Episode III: How Old is Gender?

Am I insane?  How can I be so sure that my young child is transgender? Music credits: "Her Love Comes in Air" by soundZcapa, "Gato" by Rod Hamilton, "Kaikou" by Satori.

Episode II: Daily Life in the House of Girls

What's it like raising a transgender child? How did your family respond? What about school? How in the world does this work? This episode gives you the low-down on what daily life is really like for us.

Episode I: Mama, I'm a Girl

When he was three years old, my son informed me that she was actually my daughter. I'm now the mother of a happy, confident little transgender girl, but it took a while to get here.