Housebound artwork

Housebound

28 episodes - English - Latest episode: 6 months ago -

Housebound is the world's only House MD podcast made by sickos, for sickos. We talk about the intricate rituals, which cast members look particularly sexy this week, and occasionally, the medicine.

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Episodes

Ep 28: I Dare You To Make This One Funny

January 15, 2024 17:43 - 1 hour - 51.8 MB

S2e5 "Daddy's Boy" We're back, baby! As the title suggests, this is kind of a downer, unfortunately. We do our best to lighten the mood. Digressions: Ancient Roman military wives, Howard has died. Badly, Ford owners be like, my parents sold me to House MD.

Ep 27: Not TB But Vin-E

July 04, 2023 18:00 - 1 hour - 64.7 MB

S2ep4 "TB or Not TB" Fellas, is it gay to die of yellow fever? These questions and more answered only on Housebound. We mostly stay on topic, because the topic is "greedy pharma execs exploiting the third world" and it turns out there's a lot to say about that.

Ep 26: He Got Jaime'd

May 14, 2023 17:54 - 1 hour - 70.9 MB

S2ep3 "Humpty Dumpty" We do spend the first ten minutes of this episode talking about HotD again, so once that starts feel free to fast forward if you don't want to Sea his Snake. Otherwise we mostly stay on topic! Except for malaria cropping up a few times. But honestly, that should be expected from us by now.

Ep 25: Nobody Is Doing It Like Them

April 30, 2023 15:49 - 1 hour - 59.8 MB

S2ep2 "Autopsy" And we are BACK, baby! Neither school nor work nor illness of the mind can keep us down forever. This episode features a special appearance from our newest friend of the show, Vinnie. Digressions: Daemon-Aemond-House beef, the Hatman, working a double at the hater factory, free my glans, and Jaehaerys your kids.

Ep 24: The White Maester Mellos

December 24, 2022 03:00 - 1 hour - 62.4 MB

S2ep1 "Acceptance" Welcome one and all! We actually made it to season 2, edited many weeks late. Mostly we talk about prison abolition and legal justice in this episode, which isn't even off topic. Digressions: shambling corpses, there was a chicken man, problems disease, and Beesbury sweep.

Ep 23: The Househead's Gamble

October 06, 2022 23:35 - 1 hour - 58.6 MB

Season 1 wrap-up! We lived, we laughed, we loved, we learned, we lusted. Long story short, we liked to see it. We answer your questions and discuss the season as a whole, where it left us with the characters and where we look forward to going in the future. Join us next time for season 2!

Ep 22: Morbius and Eurydice

June 16, 2022 19:34 - 1 hour - 62.3 MB

S1ep22 "Honeymoon" And we did it, y'all! We finished season one. This episode begins with about 10 minutes of discussing current political tragedies (school shootings, pro-lifers, and anti-trans bills) so feel free to skip that if you'd rather not hear more about it. The following 4 minutes are about being gay in Westeros in case you want to skip that too. But otherwise we stay mostly on track, other than a quick Morbius break in the middle, naturally. Thanks for all the laughs!

Ep 21: Mom Said It's My Turn to Relate to Hospice

April 27, 2022 17:38 - 1 hour - 74.4 MB

S1ep21 "Three Stories" Hospice is the third studio album by American indie rock band The Antlers, and their first concept album. It was initially self-distributed by the band in March 2009. Hospice tells the story of a relationship between a hospice worker and a female patient suffering from terminal bone cancer, their ensuing romance, and their slow downward spiral. Y'all already know what it is. Digressions: unironically cool Ben Garrison, Athena problematic, the Clodia/Lesbia debate, an...

Ep 20: His Name Ain't Doctor Balls

February 06, 2022 00:31 - 1 hour - 62.7 MB

S1ep20 "Love Hurts" Woof. This is a double feature for House and Bones, and we're sorry you have to listen to that, but not as sorry as we are that we had to watch it. Digressions: MILF Guy #2, abolish football, I will kill the rat of Scranton, ancient medical schools, Edward Said rolling in his grave like a Costco hotdog, and Coriolanus Gunch insta-kill.

Ep 19: Principal Investor in Noncecoin

December 07, 2021 17:27 - 1 hour - 49.8 MB

S1ep19 "Kids" This episode is boring enough that we started talking about Bones first. It's also uncomfortable in a not-very-funny way. But hey, could be worse, right? It could be the next episode. To clarify on something we forgot while recording: the member of Fall Out Boy that was in House s8 is not the same member we called gross. Digressions: POV: you're the band MGMT, not now honey Mommy's recording, the two parts of a hospital, Homestuck lore/Undertale imagines, and Saturn devouring...

Ep 18: Eat Mummies Why?

December 03, 2021 15:16 - 1 hour - 64.1 MB

S1ep18 "Babies & Bathwater" Our final Vogler episode, the plotline ends not with a bang but with a liberal copout. We'll find something else to be mad about, don't worry. Digressions: men who suck class solidarity, British cuisine, Q grifting, thank you eating him, magic Rasputin penis trick, and buying our silence.

Ep 17: Some Basic Boo Boo Shit

November 07, 2021 22:45 - 1 hour - 62.1 MB

S1ep17 "Role Model" We liked it! And it's the last time we're gonna like it for a while! This one is actually very on-point politically without us reaching very much, which is somewhat of a rarity. Digressions: Zendaya is Chani, goatposting in the Discord, forming a podcaster union, god is a spider in your bathroom, there's a fungus amogus, and yeah! Atreides!!

Ep 16: THWC

September 21, 2021 20:26 - 1 hour - 80.3 MB

S1ep16 "Heavy" We did not like to see this one! A classic "let's get briefly mad tonight" episode, as we remember why we started this podcast hating Chase. Digressions: "I make a House MD podcast please keep reading," Superwholock, classic humor of peepee, the comedic potential of jorts, and phrenology on a grape.

Ep 15: House Di Certo Non È Gay

August 10, 2021 21:03 - 1 hour - 77.2 MB

S1ep15 "Mob Rules" CAUTION: this episode may not be suitable for Italians. We mostly stayed on track, since "staying on track" meant multi-track drifting between the evils of billionaires in medicine, and jokes about Italians. Digressions: prison abolition except when Lisa Cuddy sends you there, the etymology of Lucario, men are banned from writing anime, poor little meow meows, and a sex gifs compilation.

Ep 14: CEO of More Female Prison Guards, Inc.

July 02, 2021 16:00 - 1 hour - 89.1 MB

S1ep14 "Control" Content warning: this episode of House revolves around a patient with bulimia and we discuss both that and our own history with eating disorders. Please keep that in mind if you listen. It's basically self-contained between 1:13:08 and 1:27:15. This one made us mad but in a good way, and we mostly stay on point (the point being that we hate billionaires and the commodification of healthcare).

Ep 13: The Dreams In Which I'm Leprous Are The Best I've Ever Had

June 22, 2021 19:38 - 1 hour - 99 MB

S1ep13 "Cursed" We like it! Silly main story but finally some good character work for Chase that will be utterly abandoned until next season. Digressions: prison abolition except for Bryan Cogman, jellyfish brain, Sims adventures, the location of New England, the Captain Ahab of Dune, fucking the hexameter man for hexameters, and the inherent communism of furry artists.

Ep 12: True Love Can Match Your HLAs

May 13, 2021 20:13 - 57 minutes - 49.3 MB

S1ep12 "Sports Medicine" This episode sucks, but we found the funny! Mostly by talking about other stuff. Digressions: the Joker's favorite episode of House, men that look like old hams, if you like penis colada, Jimmy McGill's bootycheeks, and pure brick. Ass. Okay?

Ep 11: Smokin' a Fat Ginch

April 26, 2021 22:58 - 1 hour - 75.7 MB

S1ep11 "Detox" This one rules. We read from Sallust's Bellum Catalinae because it's finally relevant. A surprisingly nuanced take on chronic pain and addiction, so naturally it's all downhill from here. Only a few digressions: Cask of Amontillado-ing our 17 year old selves, TJLC to TERF pipeline, blatantly lying for notes/if House went to the Reylo therapist.

Ep 10: Four House Jokers in a Car

April 08, 2021 21:31 - 1 hour - 79.8 MB

S1ep10 "Histories" We mostly stay on topic this episode! The second of three bangers in a row. Digressions: Dragon Age discourse, the sexy dancing tigers from Zootopia, fruity behaviors/male thot jobs, and bad augury omens. And Alanna learns how a PCR works!

Ep 9: I Diagnose You With Ajax

March 01, 2021 19:29 - 1 hour - 78.6 MB

S1ep9 "DNR" The first of three bangers in a row! Powerful, simple, sexy. Digressions: Green Day but bad, the only three types of stories, foreshadowing the joke, plugging Hugh Laurie's jazz album, free foot pics, and bludge.

Ep 8: Mercury in Your Peepuss Weewee

February 05, 2021 17:00 - 1 hour - 67.2 MB

S1ep8 "Poison" "Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, 'The one whose JNCOs I compliment is the man. Seize him and lead him away under guard.'" Digressions: tummy soup, the definition of comedy, frantically googling Ashton Kutcher, a new creepypasta, Stone Age gays and of course, what would happen if you bought jeans off a truck. Plus we share our own high school stories!

Ep 7: Go Girl Give Us Nothing!

January 31, 2021 00:10 - 1 hour - 69.9 MB

S1ep7 "Fidelity" Boy this sure was a hollow shell of an episode! This episode helpfully brought to you by a parasitologist and someone who interrupts a lot. A few digressions: The Room watch party, joke of big tiddy is eternal, the new definition of dramatic irony, and man door hand hook car door.

Ep 6: Mess First, Praxis Second

January 11, 2021 01:22 - 1 hour - 53.9 MB

S1ep6 "The Socratic Method" Well, it's taken several months, one car accident, one case of COVID, and two separate failed recordings, but we're finally back! And better yet, this episode is good! Digressions: Thrax came correct with it, put the God-Emperor in a scarmophogoghs, the ideal human form, love da Mets, and can't help being a Gemini!

Ep 5: What Do Nuns Do in Australia, Idiot?

August 21, 2020 22:25 - 2 hours - 97.9 MB

S1ep5 "Damned If You Do" We got a long one today, fellas. Digressions include: Henry Cavill Sherlock Holmes; how Martin Luther invented being normal; Curio tax fraud/an ineffective George's Trick; Bernie 2: With a Gun This Time; Bones racist moments; Equal Opportunity Merlin; new slurs for Italians; Cuneiform-Anon. The book about abortion Alanna mentions is A Case of Need by Michael Crichton, highly recommend.

Ep 4: Baby Small, MRI Big, Okay Funny

August 13, 2020 16:13 - 1 hour - 61.9 MB

S1ep4 "Maternity" WHY IS WILSON HERE?! Digressions: Plautus aphobe moments; a terminal case of Man Wrote It; Mouse, MD; a damnatio memoriae on Taub; Omar Epps acting license revoked. 

Ep 3: "My Bepnis is Fully Engaged"

June 26, 2020 19:00 - 1 hour - 57.2 MB

S1ep3 "Occam's Razor" Things we go on tangents about that are only vaguely related to this episode: A Song of Ice and Fire's Jon Connington; Geralt Witcher's fat tiddies; our cat Merlin; how our parents met; what racial slurs Australians use; and Animal Crossing: Wild World. It's a veritable pinata of an episode!

Ep 2: Not Very Marxist But Very Foot Heavy

June 19, 2020 19:01 - 1 hour - 55.7 MB

S1ep2 "Paternity" Hey, the medicine is correct this time! And it's offset by House laying out the two most baffling statistics we have ever heard. Insanely variable? Classic House!

Ep 1: Hugh Laurie is Here, Thank God

May 29, 2020 16:27 - 1 hour - 66.2 MB

S1ep1 "Pilot" The lighting is yellow, the patient is blue, the vibes are rancid and the hosts are too! Our dear show's pilot is a decent start to a not-very-good show, but the tone is wrong and the accent is wronger. There is no Iron&Wine playing, either.