Episode 7: Thanksgiving gratitude

It’s the week of Thanksgiving and the unofficial start of the holiday season. For most working women, this is also known as the season of chaos and unmet expectations. Our thoughts are dominated by the “should.” What we “should be doing. Baking cookies. Decorating the house. Buying gifts for friends and family who don’t need a single thing. And let’s not forget the gorgeous holidays cards on Minted.com. Does anyone even have pictures to share this year?
Let’s take a moment and step back from it all. This year is different. And while it’s been different in many negative ways—think remote schooling—it’s forced us to slow down, take inventory and reinvent ourselves. 
This week we will celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday. It’s my favorite holiday. I am beyond grateful. Eight years ago, my mother passed away and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 40 years old. Our son, Salvatore, was six-years old. I was grief-stricken and terrified. I couldn’t do anything other than put one foot in front of the other. I will never forget the day I was diagnosed. I was with a client at the US/Canadian border and received a phone call from my local radiologist. “You have breast cancer.” I still shudder when I think of those words.
2012-2013 was a horrible time. I had a bilateral mastectomy on Dec 18, 2012 and struggled with grief and fear for years afterwards. I was so afraid to lose everything I loved—my husband, our son, the small life we built. I know what it feels like to lose a mother. I didn’t want my son to know that pain. 
I’m here—healthy and happy—eight years later. I am beyond grateful every moment of my life. I never take a single day, breath or moment for granted. I celebrate being alive. I have to. I live like a lunatic and travel, experience and enjoy everything I possibly can. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
I will cook dinner for 12 on Thursday (don’t tell Governor Cuomo). I will be stressed out and annoyed that I’m having a hot flash while making my mother’s stuffing recipe. I will complain that my back hurts and I’m tired. But under it all, I will savor the moments. The first sip of coffee on Thanksgiving morning. Enjoying the “reimagined” Thanksgiving parade. Watching our neighbors play in our annual football game. Watching my mother-in-law walk in with her amazing soup. I know these days won’t last forever. Our son, nieces and nephews will grow older. Possibly move away. There will be empty seats at our table. I will embrace Thursday, no matter how hot or tired I am.
I encourage you to make this holiday season different. Put the “should” away. No one will care if you bake cookies or order them from a bakery. No one will care if you don’t decorate every portion of your house. Our lives are not like the Pottery Barn catalogues. Pottery Barn decorates bedrooms for Christmas because they sell Xmas bedding and sheets. You don’t need to hold yourself to those false standards.
Embrace the small stuff. The extra time you have with your partner or kids. Yes—they can be annoying but they won’t be around forever. Take a walk. Get some fresh air, even if it’s cold and dark. Look up at the stars. Put your phone down. Be present. Fully present.
2020 is certainly different but it’s also amazing. We have been excused by the world from doing things that make us crazy—attending too many holiday parties, traveling great distances, etc. We have been permitted by the world to stay home and look out the window. And in some small way, that is a magical blessing.
Happy Thanksgiving, High Wire Women!
RB

It’s the week of Thanksgiving and the unofficial start of the holiday season. For most working women, this is also known as the season of chaos and unmet expectations. Our thoughts are dominated by the “should.” What we “should be doing. Baking cookies. Decorating the house. Buying gifts for friends and family who don’t need a single thing. And let’s not forget the gorgeous holidays cards on Minted.com. Does anyone even have pictures to share this year?

Let’s take a moment and step back from it all. This year is different. And while it’s been different in many negative ways—think remote schooling—it’s forced us to slow down, take inventory and reinvent ourselves. 

This week we will celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday. It’s my favorite holiday. I am beyond grateful. Eight years ago, my mother passed away and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 40 years old. Our son, Salvatore, was six-years old. I was grief-stricken and terrified. I couldn’t do anything other than put one foot in front of the other. I will never forget the day I was diagnosed. I was with a client at the US/Canadian border and received a phone call from my local radiologist. “You have breast cancer.” I still shudder when I think of those words.

2012-2013 was a horrible time. I had a bilateral mastectomy on Dec 18, 2012 and struggled with grief and fear for years afterwards. I was so afraid to lose everything I loved—my husband, our son, the small life we built. I know what it feels like to lose a mother. I didn’t want my son to know that pain. 

I’m here—healthy and happy—eight years later. I am beyond grateful every moment of my life. I never take a single day, breath or moment for granted. I celebrate being alive. I have to. I live like a lunatic and travel, experience and enjoy everything I possibly can. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

I will cook dinner for 12 on Thursday (don’t tell Governor Cuomo). I will be stressed out and annoyed that I’m having a hot flash while making my mother’s stuffing recipe. I will complain that my back hurts and I’m tired. But under it all, I will savor the moments. The first sip of coffee on Thanksgiving morning. Enjoying the “reimagined” Thanksgiving parade. Watching our neighbors play in our annual football game. Watching my mother-in-law walk in with her amazing soup. I know these days won’t last forever. Our son, nieces and nephews will grow older. Possibly move away. There will be empty seats at our table. I will embrace Thursday, no matter how hot or tired I am.

I encourage you to make this holiday season different. Put the “should” away. No one will care if you bake cookies or order them from a bakery. No one will care if you don’t decorate every portion of your house. Our lives are not like the Pottery Barn catalogues. Pottery Barn decorates bedrooms for Christmas because they sell Xmas bedding and sheets. You don’t need to hold yourself to those false standards.

Embrace the small stuff. The extra time you have with your partner or kids. Yes—they can be annoying but they won’t be around forever. Take a walk. Get some fresh air, even if it’s cold and dark. Look up at the stars. Put your phone down. Be present. Fully present.

2020 is certainly different but it’s also amazing. We have been excused by the world from doing things that make us crazy—attending too many holiday parties, traveling great distances, etc. We have been permitted by the world to stay home and look out the window. And in some small way, that is a magical blessing.

Happy Thanksgiving, High Wire Women!

RB