Hear No Movie, See No Movie
51 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 4 years ago - ★★★★★ - 1 ratingTwo friends. One with earplugs in. One with a blindfold on. Watching movies.
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Episodes
Episode 50: Sixteen Candles
August 11, 2019 00:37 - 2 hours - 116 MBAfter 52 movies over 50 episodes Alex and Jack are feeling like they deserve a bit of a break. Instead they watch every MGTOW's favourite teen comedy: Sixteen Candles and also take a retrospective look back at two years of watching awful, awful movies in the stupidest way possible.
Episode 49: Movie 43
June 13, 2019 06:27 - 1 hourFinally able to get together again on opposite sides of the globe, Jack and Alex attempt a watch of the infamously bad sketch comedy film: 'Movie 43' and find 43 celebrities who should be cancelled immediately.
Episode 48: Atlas Shrugged Part 1
May 01, 2019 04:13 - 56 minutesAlex and Jack encounter a new nemesis in the first part of the low budget adaptation of Ayn Rand's magnum opus about sad rich people.
Episode 47: Ready to Rumble
April 11, 2019 01:55 - 52 minutesAlex and Jack watch a bad wrestling movie that nobody even knows or cares about to celebrate something to do with WWE!? Neither of them are really sure but they both do try to construct the perfect 'kick in the balls' scenario.
Episode 46: What Women Want
March 09, 2019 01:04 - 59 minutesWhat do women want? Jack and Alex don't know! So they want to find out! What women want, that is. Thank God for this 2000 Mel Gibson film. Otherwise they wouldn't know. Wouldn't know what women want, that is. Let's find out.
Episode 45: Day Of The Triffids
February 28, 2019 05:18 - 55 minutesJack has a distant memory of a book he once read, about a day when plants ruled the earth and nobody was worried about aeroplanes crashing. Alex found out that its also a movie.
Episode 44: There's Something About Mary
February 08, 2019 04:16 - 1 hourEpisode 44: There's Something About Mary by Hear No Movie, See No Movie
Episode 43: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
January 25, 2019 08:22 - 51 minutesJack and Alex take a trip down memory lane and into the world of Sad Jim Carrey
Episode 42: Whiplash
January 09, 2019 05:29 - 54 minutesAlex and Jack are joined by friend and comedian Issy Phillips to watch the greatest movie ever made about drums (at least until a Ringo Starr biopic is made).
Episode 41: A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas
December 26, 2018 07:54 - 55 minutesIn a special christmas episode, Alex and Jack sit down for the Yuletide classic: “A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas”. Hopefully this does not become a yearly tradition.
Episode 40: I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
December 12, 2018 09:24 - 57 minutesJack and Alex propose that this is the worst film they have ever seen. And then get married.
Episode 39: Das Boot
November 29, 2018 03:33 - 1 hourOne year on from beginning their movie-listening/watching journey, Jack and Alex were feeling confident enough to attempt something unthinkable and very stupid: a foreign language film. Alex is left spending the next two and a half hours listening to German whispers and submarine creaking in “Das Boot” while Jack meets his favourite ever character in the history of the podcast: the Dick Inspector.
Episode 38: SPF 18
November 16, 2018 06:00 - 49 minutesAlex and Jack are joined by Danni and Belinda to chill with some cool teens in the Netflix original movie SPF 18. Together the four of them go on a chill adventure at Keane Reeves’s beach house where sex is always done with a tingly condom.
Episode 37: Big Momma’s House 2
November 08, 2018 03:17 - 59 minutesAlex and Jack take particular care to disseminate the second Big Momma’s House, giving due weight to the wit on display. The whole “weight” thing before wasn’t a joke based on the whole “Big Momma” thing we promise. Also, how can a movie be racist to a dog? Listen to find out.
Episode 36: Deep Impact
November 01, 2018 06:36 - 49 minutesJack and Alex are facing another extinction level event, without any help from Dutch Boy this time. They discuss the two people (not including the cast of Rove Live) who they would bring with them on an Ark to save humanity and how best to fidge a spinner.
Episode 35: True Memoirs Of An International Assassin
October 25, 2018 00:28 - 42 minutesAlex and Jack have such an awful time watching the movie this week that they long for the far simpler days of Kevin James films full of farts and falling over.
Episode 34: Clueless
October 17, 2018 04:57 - 55 minutesAlex and Jack spend most of the podcast talking about the most illegal names in the world and Watergate instead of talking about the cult classic fashion film Clueless.
Episode 33: Taxi Driver
October 10, 2018 01:23 - 56 minutesAfter enjoying him as bad grandpa, evil father-in-law and sad cancer man, Alex and Jack visit his early year as a happy-go-lucky cab driver. The discussion tends to focus much more on breakfast and porno theatres.
Episode 32: The Wind That Shakes The Barley
September 30, 2018 01:55 - 50 minutesJoined by special guest Declan Maher, the HNMSNM boys decide to learn a little bit about history: Irish history that is!
Episode 31: To All The Boys I Used To Love
August 30, 2018 01:52 - 1 hourAlex and Jack decide to watch the new Netflix movie that is taking the world by storm. Jack enjoys some good baseball and Alex admits that he would prefer drinking water over piss any day.
Episode 30: Baywatch
August 23, 2018 07:48 - 46 minutesAfter a three-week hiatus owing mostly to them fact that jack has been jet-setting across America, the HNMSNM boys finally reunite over an awful skype call to watch the new Baywatch movie. Alex struggles with beginning his day with more Zac Efron than he would have liked and Jack sounds like a robot for the majority of the episode.
Episode 29: Jackass 3D
July 29, 2018 04:48 - 49 minutesOnce more on opposite sides of the world, Jack and Alex are now joined by fellow clown, Jacob Henegan for the assault on the senses that is Jackass 3D. They discover that it is a nihilist masterpiece in three dimensions.
Episode 28: Ali G Indahouse
July 21, 2018 06:17 - 44 minutesIn the 28th episode, the podcast has evolved. No longer are two friends able to sit down and watch a movie in peace in front of a shared computer screen. Now instead they sit on opposite sides of the world. For their first international attempt at podcasting, they decide to visit the works of Sacha Baron Cohen and see if it is as “very nice” as everyone claims.
Episode 27: Geostorm
July 06, 2018 01:23 - 46 minutesThe day has finally come, with Jack leaving for Europe in less than a week the HNMSNM boys decide to finally tackle the best film of 2017- Geostorm!
Episode 26: Dirty Grandpa
June 21, 2018 02:51 - 55 minutesJack and Alex discover the beginnings of a conspiracy in Hollywood that goes al the way to Robert DeNiro’s balls. Also they watch the awful movie “Diryty Grandpa”.
Episode 25: New Years Eve
June 14, 2018 02:10 - 49 minutesIt’s New Years in June for Alex and Jack as they decide to tackle the Gary Marshall rom-com extravaganza that is New Years Eve. In the course of the watching, Alex and Jack learn the true meaning of New Years: being inside a sandwich with Jon Bon Jovi of Bon Jovi.
Episode 24: Dirty Dancing
June 07, 2018 06:34 - 55 minutesAlex and Jack return to the 80s with Dirty Dancing and things get a little hot and heavy on the mic. You don’t want to listen to this one with your grandparents!
Episode 23: The Island Of Dr Moreau
May 30, 2018 07:59 - 52 minutesAlex and Jack bring on a guest, Shubha to experience the utter insanity that is the island of Dr Moreau. Alex is confused, Jack is appalled, Shubha wants to kill. Everything is very testicley
Episode 22: Weird Science
May 23, 2018 08:22 - 1 hourThings get a little bit WEIRD for the podcast this week, when Jack and Alex take a trip back to the 80s, when times were different and women were not birthed, but rather hacked into existence by teenage boys. Trust us, the SCIENCE checks out.
Episode 21: Left Behind
May 09, 2018 05:50 - 52 minutesUh oh God’s finally gone done a rapture on the poor people of Earth, and now only ace pilot Nick Cage and the HNMSNM boys can save the world, and all the little Christian feotuses from annihilation.
Episode 20: Videodrome
May 04, 2018 01:56 - 52 minutesSit down and enjoy some beautiful Brie and gorgeous Blue as Jack and Alex watch the surreal body horror film Videodrome, and let out their inner Videodromes.
Episode 19: The Great Gatsby
April 26, 2018 01:21 - 50 minutesAlex and Jack decide to get a bit fancy and get some literature in them. Maybe that shouldn’t have chosen an adaptation that had so much of Tobey Maguire’s doughy face.
Episode 18: Grease 2
April 18, 2018 06:04 - 1 hourIt took Jack and Alex a half hour of browsing through Streaming services to settle on this little gem of an awful movie: “Grease 2”. instead of tapping along to the numbers or swinging their hips to the dancing the two tell stories about picking up chicks at grocery stores and doing a motorcycle trick so sick that even Death goes “Whoah”. Just like real T-Birds.
Episode 17: Eurotrip
April 12, 2018 02:39 - 57 minutesAlex and Jack do the impossible and actually find themselves having a good time while watching a movie. The film “Eurotrip” reminds them that comedies can occasionally actually be funny and also teach 8-year olds some very important lessons about Hitler, sister-kissing and the Pope.
Episode 16: Monsters University
April 05, 2018 02:33 - 51 minutesJack finally gets his wish for Alex’s birthday and the two watch Monster University and reminisce about their own college days, and how prequels mostly suck, especially when you can’t see any of the monsters.
Episode 15: Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers, Little Fockers
March 28, 2018 05:36 - 52 minutesTo catch up on the many weeks of movies they missed, jack and Alex decide it would be a great idea to watch all three “Meet the parents” movies. It was really focked up.
Episode 14: Frozen
March 21, 2018 04:49 - 53 minutes2012 was a good year for ice-based musicals. 2018 is not a good year for re-visiting them. Alex and Jack watch the Disney classic for the first time and ponder mostly on the sad existence of Olaf than they do on the film’s plot or music.
Episode 13: Friday the 13th V
March 14, 2018 02:11 - 59 minutesJack and Alex roll a 10-sided spooky die to decide which of the ten Friday the 13th movies they will watch during their thirteenth epiosode. Aptly, they sit down to watch “A New beginning”, the tale of a deadbeat father who just wants to reconnect with their kids through death and knives.
Episode 12: Step Up
March 07, 2018 04:43 - 52 minutesAlex and Jack decide to step up and watch Step Up. The two disagree on the quality of this epic dance movie, with Jack believing it to be a potent allegory of race in America with a Romeo and Juliet tale and Alex thinking its not even got enough dancing in it.
Episode 11: My Best Friend’s Girl
February 28, 2018 03:57 - 1 hourIt’s been a month-long hiatus since Jack and Alex have sat down to watch a movie, and in the isolated city of Perth they decide to be a little less isolated with guests Juliet and Jacinta. Together all four watch “My Best Friend’s Girl”, which features several kids in a large suit trying to purchase a woman with multiple donuts.
Episode 10: Cloud Atlas
January 25, 2018 09:22 - 56 minutesLast time the HNMSNM boys watched a Wachowski Sisters film it broke them. Round Two Baby! It doesn’t go well
Episode 9: Freddy Got Fingered
January 18, 2018 05:27 - 1 hourIn this special extra-long episode, Alex and Jack watch the awful movie “Freddy Got Fingered” and have a terrible time. However, they know that so long as Matt Blacke is out there working on props and composition, there is at least one person having a worse time than them.
Episode 8: Million Dollar Baby
January 11, 2018 22:50 - 50 minutesIts awards season so Alex and Jack decide to watch the Oscar-winning boxing film “Million Dollar Baby”. Jack sheds a single tear and Alex just hopes that Maggie will be well enough again for the big game tomorrow.
Episode 7: I Know What You Did Last Summer
January 02, 2018 23:52 - 48 minutesIt’s a new year and a new episode when Jack and Alex dive into the 90s teen thriller: “I Know What You Did Last Summer”. Jack is convinced of the power of the sea god Poseidon and Alex reveals a dark secret from his own past.
Episode 6: The Polar Express
December 27, 2017 06:02 - 46 minutesIn a special holiday episode, Jack and Alex treat themselves with the modern holiday classic “The Polar Express”. Both no longer believe in Santa Claus and have announced their devotion to the arctic murder train.
Episode 5: Speed Racer
December 20, 2017 07:01 - 46 minutesAlex and Jack decide to finally sit down and watch a movie that hasn’t been critically panned: the Wachowski sister’s Speed Racer. It turns out to be their Everest.
Episode 4: Bratz
December 18, 2017 07:52 - 45 minutesIn the official fourth episode, Alex gives Jack a birthday surprise in the form of the live action Bratz movie. Jack has never been more upset and Alex immediately regrets his choice.
Episode 4.1: Bratz The Movie
December 13, 2017 06:25 - 8 minutes - 12.1 MBFuck. Alex and Jack try to sit down and record a Bratz podcast but then everything fucks up.
Episode 3: Mr. Deeds
December 06, 2017 10:18 - 58 minutes - 62.7 MBIn the third episode, Alex and Jack make a sacred pledge to review 100 movies with their stupid stupid system. Then they travel to Hell and back with Adam Sandler’s Mr. Deeds.
Episode 2: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
November 29, 2017 08:44 - 49 minutes - 68.1 MBIn the second episode, Jack experiences the worst karaoke performance that has ever assailed his ears and Alex meets an awful dog when they learn how to lose a guy in 10 days.