Ethical Non-Monogamy Confessions

Ethical Non-Monogamy and Polyamory are becoming increasingly popular relationship structures (or, at least, are now more commonly discussed), but they're controversial and deeply misunderstood. Most people see ENM as glorified cheating: an excuse to have one's cake and eat it too. The acronym often conjures images of suburban swingers, wild sex parties in Bushwick or San Francisco, Burning Man, and, like, sister wives, and I have to admit that there was a time where I made similar assumptions. This week's episode schooled the hell out of me, and I'm grateful for it.

I open the episode with my own candid confessions about the positives and pitfalls of monogamy, why I desire more "traditional" partnership to add stability to my chaotic life, and the mistakes I made while getting serious with my last boyfriend. Then (13:05), our anonymous confessors call and write in with stories about ENM and Polyamory that are equal parts shocking and extremely enlightening. We hear from:

-a former conservative Christian in Texas who discovered ENM while coming to terms with bisexuality and beginning her journey as an escort

-a 30 year old woman whose partner fell into a simultaneous relationship with someone heavily pregnant

-a divorced 68 year old dating a polyamorous, bisexual sex worker 20 years younger

-a happily married, bisexual woman committed to raising her kids, whose her husband is permitted to use Seeking Arrangements when he goes on work trips

-a former conservative who found a Poly community at UC Berkeley and overcame jealousy by becoming a "cuck queen"

-a married man who entered the ENM scene with his wife after struggling with differing libidos

-a 30 year old in a gay, polyamorous married THROUPLE

-and more!

In producing this episode, I learned very powerful lessons about attachment, boundaries, communication, jealousy, societal expectation, and most importantly, the urgent need for more unfiltered honesty in relationships - especially monogamous ones. Regardless of whether or not you fundamentally agree with our contributors, I hope you find your mind expanded and your heart more open after listening.

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GOT A SECRET TO GET OFF YOUR CHEST? Share your own confession (on or off the record) at [email protected]. Follow Ali on Instagram, TikTok, & Twitter @aliweissworld. Tales of Taboo is produced and narrated by Ali Weiss. Audio production by Isabel McMahon & WTF Media. Theme song by Chris Stathopolous. Cover photo by Erika Flynn. Cover art by Kristen Montenegro. "Degenerate" merch (sweatshirts & G-Strings) are available on Ali's Instagram via DM.

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