174: The Role of Emotions in Workplace Dynamics with Dr Lola Gershfeld

Have you ever been hijacked by your emotions at work? Or stopped to consider the importance of how our emotions shape our experience at work?

In this week's episode of the Happier at Work® podcast, my guest is Dr Lola Gershfeld, founder of EmC Leaders, sheds light on the importance of understanding our emotions and attachment styles, and their impact on our workplace relationships. Her unique process helps teams build cohesive interactions, culture, and relationships in the workplace. By teaching techniques such as bonding conversations, sharing emotions, and identifying automatic thoughts, we can restructure our interactions to create a more secure bond.

Emotional engagement is a crucial aspect of our lives, and it has a significant impact on our overall happiness and productivity at work. Recognising and addressing emotions in the workplace is essential for creating a positive and harmonious work environment.

During my conversation with Dr. Gershfeld, we explored how failing to talk about emotions hinders our ability to connect with others and can lead to negative cycles of blame and complaint. The root cause of conflict is not necessarily differences in strategy or agenda; it's how we communicate and address each other's attachment needs and fears that flare up.

Dr. Gershfeld emphasised the importance of being comfortable with sharing emotions and creating an environment where it is safe to do so. Empathy plays a crucial role in understanding that people are struggling for connection. Recognising the cues of blaming, pointing, and shutting down can help us identify when someone is struggling for connection.

Our discussion also touched upon attachment theory and its implications for both personal and work relationships. It's fascinating to consider how attachment styles, shaped by our childhood experiences, can manifest in our adult interactions. Feeling secure in a relationship reduces the likelihood of triggering anxious or avoidant responses.

The main points throughout this podcast include:
- Attachment theory and how it relates to workplace dynamics
- Our brain structure and its role in regulating our thoughts and emotions
- We are wired for connection, disconnection leads to anxiety and pursuit, or avoidance and withdrawal
- Asking the question “are you there for me?” Are you accessible, responsible and engaged?
- How our emotions impact on our relationship with our manager
- What triggers us at work - from facial expressions to certain phrases
- Our three primary fears - self, other, relationship

Connect with Dr Lola Gershfeld:
Website: https://www.emcleaders.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lolagershfeld/
Company LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/company/emcleaders
Instagram: https://instagram.com/emcleaders/
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/emcleaders
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@emcleaders6359

Do you have any feedback or thoughts on this discussion? If so, please connect with Aoife via the links below and let her know. Aoife would love to hear from you!

Connect with Happier at Work host Aoife O’Brien:
Website: https://happieratwork.ie
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aoifemobrien/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HappierAtWorkHQ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/happieratwork.ie
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm0FKS19I5qSlFFmkx1YGqA