Missing Madonna - with Clive Vanderwagen

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!

This week my guest is tribe member Clive Vanderwagen.  Clive is a business and leadership coach who is also a wine expert!  

In this Episode

Clive’s father offered him a taste of wine at quite an early age in an effort to make it “less exciting” but looking back Clive feels this was a bit naïve and if he was ever a parent he would probably share with his kids that he had struggled with alcohol himself and that it should be treated with caution.

Educating our kids about alcohol is SO tricky but one thing is for sure – it’s easier to do it if we don’t drink – it’s no good saying one thing and then modelling another as we open our nightly bottle of wine!
Like many of us Clive felt invincible when he was younger and the fact that he became dependent on alcohol took him by surpise. Alcohol dependency tends to sneak up on us over the years and its only when we try to cut down or give up that we realise we have a problem!

That’s why regular breaks are so important – if you want to try 66 alcohol free days with online, community and audio support then just sign up for our Sober Spring Challenge

I could really identify with Clive when he said he went to AA to see everyone chain smoking and talking about their rock bottoms and just didn’t feel he fitted in! He just didn’t feel like an alcoholic because he wasn’t drinking in the morning, crashing cars, losing jobs etc

The thing is we don’t have to wait until we hit “rock bottom” before we make a change:-

          If we worry about our drinking or if we drink more than the low risk limits then we should make some changes – at the very least              take a break just to test your dependency,

Like most of us Clive tried “moderation” and we agreed that our “drinking neural pathway” will always be there so once you’ve crossed a line with your drinking moderation is no longer an option.

Clive talked about being triggered by a sunny day and the thought of drinking rose – he has a sensible approach to his triggers – he just recognizes them, gets a bit curious about them and then lets them pass without acting on them

One way of dealing with those triggers is to create another ritual to replace it – for example if Clive started enjoying a glass on AF bubbly everytime he sat drinking in the sunshine then his subconscious would gradually create a new and less harmful trigger.

Clive’s Madonna Story was a classic example of how we expect alcohol to enhance our experiences – in Clive’s case he ended up almost blacking out and missing most of a concert he’d been looking forward to for months!

Clive has made the joyful discovery that “Clive doesn’t need alcohol to be Clive” – he can still be the life and soul of the party when stone cold sober!

11 months into his sobriety Clive feels he's regained control of his life and reduced his anxiety -he feels strong and is proud to be alcohol

Clive ended our interview by reading his stunning Goodbye to Alcohol letter which he found a powerful and cathartic experience – his letter is very moving and if you would like to read it along with some others just hit this link.

We start our annual 66 day challenge in September - called Sober Spring here in South Africa but can be Sober Autumn as well

Membership also allows you to find your people as we welcome you into our supportive community - and this month new members will get a complimentary Sober Spring Challenge

Just go to tribesober.com and hit the "join our tribe" button to read more about the benefits of membership

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Episode Sponsor

          This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then                 sign up today

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Thank you for listening! 

Till Next Week

Janet x